could you really be able to...?

[UkhtAlMuslimeen]

:salams
i was just wondering..you know how unfortunately due to culture or whatever you find parents saying no to proposals ...for very unislamic reasons.
so, the wali isnt actually judging the person the way he should be.
-dont worry, im not going to say something dumb like can you change your wali ...!!!
say if your happy with a proposal...and your parents would also be happy...but theres a culture clash or something dumb like that.
its just..i was speaking to a friend and she said..as long as her father gave her permission...then she would go ahead with it.
obviously she needs her walis permission otherwise the marriage is not valid.
...but say your dad is like...''fine go..marry him...i never want to see your face again..'
would you go ahead with it...
personally i couldnt, there you parents...what happens if things dont work out...when you have kids - will your mum be there?? it seems as if your sacrificing everything -the most precious things :inlove:
just wondering what people think... -theres probably some thread somewhere like this...:rolleyes:

[Arifa]

This reminds me of some of the early stages of married life...sometimes I used to feel unwell (i'm the type of person who never looks ill on the outside...) but I'd feel embarressed telling my husband because I didn't like showing my weaknesses, yet still my mother and father would be the first to notice something is wrong.

No, for me personally, alhamdullillah my parents are wise and I can follow their decisions, at the end of the day I know they'd be there for me if something was wrong. And I don't think I could make any better decisions

[UkhtAlMuslimeen]

This reminds me of some of the early stages of married life...sometimes I used to feel unwell (i'm the type of person who never looks ill on the outside...) but I'd feel embarressed telling my husband because I didn't like showing my weaknesses, yet still my mother and father would be the first to notice something is wrong.

No, for me personally, alhamdullillah my parents are wise and I can follow their decisions, at the end of the day I know they'd be there for me if something was wrong. And I don't think I could make any better decisions
:salams
i agree.. parents do make the better decisions. but, there are cases where there really really honestly is nothing worng with the proposal.
a sister i know was telling me how she felt during the early stages of marriage..subhanallah its was her own choice..but she still missed her parents loads...which would make her really depressed and unwell.

[Overseer]

:salams
i was just wondering..you know how unfortunately due to culture or whatever you find parents saying no to proposals ...for very unislamic reasons.
so, the wali isnt actually judging the person the way he should be.
-dont worry, im not going to say something dumb like can you change your wali ...!!!
say if your happy with a proposal...and your parents would also be happy...but theres a culture clash or something dumb like that.
its just..i was speaking to a friend and she said..as long as her father gave her permission...then she would go ahead with it.
obviously she needs her walis permission otherwise the marriage is not valid.
...but say your dad is like...''fine go..marry him...i never want to see your face again..'
would you go ahead with it...
personally i couldnt, there you parents...what happens if things dont work out...when you have kids - will your mum be there?? it seems as if your sacrificing everything -the most precious things :inlove:
just wondering what people think... -theres probably some thread somewhere like this...:rolleyes:

I had a talk similar to this with my Mum. I was asking whether it would be fine with them if I married someone other than a Pakistani and whilst my Mum said it was my decision at the end of the day, she would prefer I marry a Pakistani simply because it would be better for her to integrate into the family.

Ultimately, I wouldn't want to marry someone purely due to my parents but if we were compatible then I see no reason why not. However, you do have to ask yourself what kind of parents are they if they want you to marry a certain individual and give you very little freedom of choice in the matter.

Having said this though, I've still Insha'Allah got many years left before I marry so I tend not to think too much about such matters.

[Kubs]

I'd choose my parents anyday....though Alhamdulillah I have been blessed with wonderful parents who would never give me such an ultimatum...choose him or us? That's just silly.

[MMS]

choose my parents without thinking twice

[neelu]

Mashallah my parents are pretty good so I don't think they'd make such narrow minded decisions about me in which case it makes it easy for me to choose them. Having said that, if my parents were really jahil or unIslamic about such things then I'd strongly consider going against them.

[Saudi Prince]

choose my parents without thinking twice

Even if you love the person and your parents have no good reason to reject him?

[xyz]

Would have to be my parents

[MMS]

Even if you love the person and your parents have no good reason to reject him?

but u told me i don't know what love is, so how can i love someone :S

[Umm Haya]

but u told me i don't know what love is, so how can i love someone :S

lol! You dont :outta:

To the OP....that would be a difficult decision to make....but I've been there done that....in the sense that somebody once said to me 'Yeah fine, do such and such a thing if you want'....but I could tell they didnt really want me to. In such a case I simply wouldnt do it. But I think it's pretty pathetic of me though. If you really want summin u gotta be strong.

WassalamuAlaykum

[UkhtAlMuslimeen]

I'd choose my parents anyday....though Alhamdulillah I have been blessed with wonderful parents who would never give me such an ultimatum...choose him or us? That's just silly.
:salams
yea...alhamdulilah, i dont see me in that type of situation - my parents are just too cool :D
but think about it..when your dad says no -he has his reasons...a man can judge another man better then a women can.

Even if you love the person and your parents have no good reason to reject him?
love...errm, i wasnt really refering to the type of proposal that is the result of a haram relationship and how can you be sooo sure you love them. i dunno...to me this whole love thing doesnt make sence.