My sister knows nothing about islam...

[SoldierOfDeen]

Salaam U Alaykum,

Brothers or Sisters. Please can someone advice on my family situation. My sister is into films like High School Musical, and a lot ill viewing on the Disney Channel. I am to say grateful to Allah that its nothing else, she gets very defensive when I ask about Islam, she is 17. She knows nothing about religion. She is always on the internet watching Soaps..
My mother hates it when I preach to her, she loves watching TV, LOVES it, I cannot stress this enough, english dramas, Desperate Housewives, Sex and City, Grays Anatomy! I even have raised it and said when eating dinner I leave the room unless it is switched off, they tried this for three days and now think I have not noticed that its on again..

My mother hates it, dislikes it when I try to explain to my sister about concepts of Allah, what the quran is for, the five pillars, why we pray, what we say and how we say it...

Please someone give me advice as I can only ask help in Allah.. I would appreciate any recommendation..

Peace Upon You

[Emani]

I am sorry you have to struggle with this. It is good that you are trying to help your sister; you seem to care for her alot and that is good. Even if the whole world is against you (and often it feels that way when it is family) Allah will be with you. You are doing the right thing by trying to talk to your sister about it - does she hear what you are saying or does she close her ears and her heart? If she is listening, then I would suggest to continue to gently suggest to her the error of her ways. But if she is ignoring you or seems hostile, then I would continue to do the right things - pray, don't watch tv - but you shouldn't necessarily keep talking to her about it or she will view it as "nagging." Sometimes the most influence we can have on someone is not through words but from our silent example. Perhaps you can invite your sister to do things with you instead of watching tv. Maybe she is bored and doesn't know any other way to entertain herself.

Since your mom and your sister both seem to be against you for following Islam, then you should look for support in other areas, such as on this website (we are always here to help) or in the masjid. You can call or email a masjid and ask them for advice, and if you have one near you, maybe you could meet with someone to talk about this or any other issues you might be having. Know that you are not alone - there are many people who struggle with things like this, with their families not acting as Muslims when they themselves are trying to do good. This probably happens alot more often than you think, actually. Know that any struggle you go through here in this life will be rewarded to you in the end. So keep struggling and keep up your prayer and insha'allah maybe in the future (it might take time for her) your sister will eventually see that you are right and really just cared for her best interests....

[Unregistesdf]

Salaamu alaykum

Doesn't she have many religous friends or aquaintances? If not then try get her some!

Also, talk to her more if shes eve going through a hard time, why does anyone else have to be there other than you too when you're discussing something like this? Once you comfort her it can be one of the best time to talk about how Islam will solve whatever problem it is she may be having (e.g. Grays anatomy season just finished :p )

Thats rubbish anyway, all about Scrubs :p

[salsabeela]

Assalamu alaikum

Akhee (ur an akhee right?) i know what ur goin thru. When i try and advise the peeps at home i get alot of nagativity and 'mind your own business' kinda reactions so i know its hard - and i come from a muslim family :rubeyes:

it hurts coz they r actually really nice people and they r not taking this deen seriously at all and im scared for myself (even though alhamduliLLAH im practising), let alone for them who dont even pray subhanAllah.

for myself, it was a case where i used to tell them alot but i was becoming a fitnah (causing arguments and anger) so now and again i will tell them things when i really feel they need to know. but the main thing is that i tried to tell them. oh, and gentleness is the key subhanAllah.

so just kee trying and ask Allah Ta'aala to guide you and make you a sincere advisor with hikmah.

May Allah :Swt: make us all sincere advisors in the best way. Ameen.

wasalamu alaikum

[salam786]

Salaam, I can kinda relate to this as I have a younger brother who hasnt been sent to mosque to go learn how to read the quran, anyway he feels hes a little to old to sit with kids in the mosque so I offered to teach him at home, he was euthastic at first but then refused so he has been reading the quran translation to get first hand knowledge about islam. May be you should switch the internet off and the tv but turning the power supply switch and say the electricity gone and use this time as a starting point as your sis won't know what to do the the time seeing as orignally she might have planned to watch the tv but cant do so as the power supply has gone so preach to her and ask her firstly why she doesnt want to learn about islam, once you get her response you can over the obstacle. all you need is time with her alone without the external disturbances of the tv/internet

[stephenoskie]

You cant force Islam on her, she will only push away and dont want to be apart of it. Take it bit by bit and just as a slow pace. So what she watches desperate house wives and sex in the city. I do !! As long as she isnt copying them then thats fine.

Just be patience with her and dont upset your family.

[SoldierOfDeen]

Peace Upon All,

Thank You for taking time and posting on this forum. Much appreciated. I think I should highlight first that over the last two years we went through a divorce where we found a parent to be a compulsive liar and attention seeker. I know live with the other parent. My sister lives with both and is always to and fro.. this gets one parent angry and upset as they dont understand how she can still visit the other parent.

Apparently she plays music, high school musical and DVDs and goes dancing and does dancing to forget about it or relief stress. I am happy for Allah The Wise The Supreme that its not cigarettes or boyfriends.

Amira. I did not really like your reply to be honest. You watch Sex and The City? Hollyoaks, Desperate Housewives and friends... Are they always trying to bomb my mind with SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX... Its lust and disgusting.. how you justify fitnah on TV I would love to here, people sit there and let their hearts and feelings and inspirations go out to the characters mixed with its satanic influencing music! If you honestly say nothing is wrong with watching that then sorry please do not reply again, I mean this in nice way as there is no excuse to watch whores and slags to entertain us or to justify their concepts of beauty.. People are dying and starving.

I am going to have to look for a class in Manchester for Islam where we both can go. She needs to do the basics and prayer.

And yes good company is going to help a lot. She has a lot of mixed friends at college and I have met some of her friends, they all seem nice and some are muslim and some are not..

This is question for women.. During menstruation's why are you not supposed to pray?

[`asiya]

may Allah ta ala help u to have sabr with your family. your right its very difficult in a non muslim society to keep children on the haq. and as said before gentleness with them and patience is the key insha Allah.

in regards to ur question. women dont pray because Allah ta ala has given us an order not to, and so that is enough for a muslim, we hear and obey.

This is an ease Allah ta ala has given women, and if u think about it logically,it is very painful and draining, and a great burden on a woman, so alhamdulillah at this time we do not have the discomfort of bending up and down to pray and it makes a woman very exhausted to have menses, and so we are able to get more rest not wake up for fajr and stay up till isha and so on. we are also not permitted to fast during this time, if we stopped eating we would become anemic and ill. alhamdulillah this order from Almighty Allah ta ala is a blessing upon us.

[>UserName<]

Since she's into films/dramas etc, how about giving her the film 'The Message' as a present, or leave it in her room one day so she watch it in her own time. Its educational and its a film.

Or play some nasheeds around her, since she's into her music, ask her to branch out a little; if you this, be careful which nasheeds you want to give her. Also, be sure to move on to quran reciation, just play it around the house or something, in the kitchen, the study, your bedroom.

Introduce some practicing Muslims to her, send her to Islamic camps/nasheed concerts..things like this to ease her into it and get her interest. Nobody will learn about Islam if forced. Ease her into it.

May Allaah help you.

[SoldierOfDeen]

Salaam U Alaykum

Thank you and I hope everyone is blessed for taking your time responding to me.

Much appreciated. Much Love

Walay Kum Salam

[PiElle2]

bro, i think you need to know more about females before making judgements about them. basically, they are emotional creatures... so watching soaps feeds their emotions, whereas sitting with you guys, don't, and you are seldom there to care for their emotions. You only judge and tell them 'do this', 'don't do this'... now, how's that going to be considered a healthy caring...?

[Khubaib]

It's a difficult situation. Inshallah you can try to engage your sister in the activities you like. TV trains you not to think so you're valuable time slips out of your hands. If you think of ideas for activities that you can do and then ask her, in fact insist by saying that you want her to come with you to X islamic event or go to X restaurant or even just talk to her more often ie. whenever you can make the time then inshallah you will

A. draw her away from the t.v. and depending on how frequently you do "sisterly" things together perhaps she'll get bored of watching T.V. since she will be having so much fun with you.

B. if you can bring her into your circle of friends who are practising sisters or just the two of you being somewhere in private your mother will not be nearby to stop you from engaging her on "deeni" discussions.

Essentially you need to become her close friend Eventually inshallah she will want to be respected in your eyes.

Start slow and gentle and you will not even realize it when you pick up speed inshallah.

That is just how I would tackle the situation. I know it is difficult with parental opposition but inshallah your most powerful tool is dua'. It will take effort on your part, May Allah help you. Ameen.