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Short-Fuse
21-04-08, 07:45 PM
Assalamolayqum waramatullahii wabarakatuhu


I’ve made this thread because I have serious anger-issues, which I want to resolve. I have a horrible temper, I get angry quickly and it’s disgusting. I shout, I swear, I say every word under the sun and I hate that, I don’t care where I am who I'm with, everything just blurts out. I spout absolute rubbish, my mouth is a sewer. I don’t know how to solve this. The smallest thing can **** me off, I calm down after but it’s during those 5/10 minutes that I’m angry, that does all the damage. Our tongue is something that can raise us to the highest level of heaven and also take to us to the depths of hell, and the way I speak when I’m angry its just disgusting. I honestly have no control over it.

I’ve been trying to find ways to sort this out, one was reciting the durood? I came across a hadith where it said if you’re angry sit down and recite the durood, if not lay down and recite, even if recite It, and I sleep for I while, I wake up fuming. Doing wudu doesn’t change anything because I'm still angry. I can’t stop to think of Allah swt or his wrath because I'm like a rabid dog; my behaviour is so animalistic I just attack everyone who’s around me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve always been a very angry person as a child, as young as 8 I remember strangling my sibling, at 14 I remember throwing chairs around. A few years ago when I went to umrah, that calmed me down a lot, but now everything is getting back to ‘normal’ in terms of my anger. It’s all spiralling out of control. It’s getting to the point where I can’t restrain myself physically and am so tempted to lash out, and have done too and this what I find most appalling, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I do far too much damage with my words, but to hurt some physically is just horrible.

I don’t know why I have such a short fuse, and I don’t know how sort it out. Could someone please recommend any solutions? I am willing to try anything, the only issue with counselling is that, when I’m angry I hate it when people ask me questions; it just makes it even worse. If people just shut up, and stay away from me then im fine, I can calm down, but people are in my face I just erupt and cause far too much damage with my tongue. Once I start ranting I just cannot contain myself. It’s getting to me because I’m a very unstable person when I’m angry.

Another problem is parents, I find it hard to be patient when I'm getting nagged, I realise the importance of obeying and respecting them and how it’s a grave sin to upset/disrespect/disobey your parents but regardless of what I cant seem to be able to control myself. I have far too many negative traits, I’m impulsive, erratic, stubborn and have terrible anger issues, I want to change this I would be really grateful If you guys could just provide me with any solutions.

JazakAllah khair.

Eemaan
21-04-08, 08:39 PM
you sound psychotic :o

mashallah at you identifying you have a major problem.

let me ask you somethings inshallah, bear with me (im assuing your a bro)

1. are you married?

2. what are your relationships with people like?

3. does your anger make you feel better?


bro from experience, my mum tells my i sed to have a helluva temper in my early teens. slamming doors, leaving the house, locking myself in bathrooms, i was a right brat.

deen changed me bro, salah changed me, knowing the value of my parents changed me. best thing you can do, is learn to keep your gob shut. no matter how angry, no matter how must steam your ears are puffing out, keep your gob shut inshallah.

do your wudhu, it will work as it cools you down and go for a lie down. really it will nourish your soul inshallah.

keep us posted.

batman2
21-04-08, 09:00 PM
I find that I'm most angry when I'm doing something and haven't yet performed salaat - when I do, the anger Alhamdulilah goes away.

A hadeeth relates:

"The rusool (SAW) said to Bilaal (RA), 'Ya Bilal, lets take a break' three times. Bilaal replied 'A break from what Ya Rasoollulah (SAW)?' the rusool(SAW) replied: 'a break from this life, this dunya, let us pray'"

Treat every prayer like this, you're only chance out of five everyday to converse with Allah SWT, to rad surahs that please Him, perform actions that earn His blessings at His will. Make sincere du'a, don't just put your hands up, quickly mutter some stuff and then walk off thinking "why hasn't it worked yet!?". Breathe - every breathe is a blessing from Allah SWT, every, single, breathe. So treat this as such to increase the dhikr in your heart, and Insha'allah, Allah SWT will soothe your temper, and give you increased sabr in dealing with the situations and those around you.

Another statement (unsure as to whether ti is hadeeth or qur'an):

"Anger is the key to every evil"

Salaamu Alaykum

Short-Fuse
21-04-08, 09:02 PM
Im not married, no way, not with this issue.
I sound pyschotic? Thats comforting, lol.
And no, im not a brother, maybe a man stuck in a womans body.
Strengthen my deen? JazakAllah Khair for that sis, excellent suggestion, inshAllah i will definetly try and work harder on it.

the_middle_road
21-04-08, 09:45 PM
:wswrwb:

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167380

abu eeman
22-04-08, 09:53 AM
before i used to pray i used to have a real bad temper and i sue dto argue and fight all the time with any one....

tazkiyah is the solution ie increase your individual ibadah

sayed qutub used to recomend for muslims to at least read one page of quran aday and increase in the sunnah
try this it will make your heart soften and question your self

THE PATH 2
22-04-08, 06:29 PM
the effects of black magic also causes bad temper

other reasons could be unresolved issues with oneself or family

many things...being unhappy at what allah has bestowed upon oneself too

you could also try evening primrose oil..for hormonal balance

short-fuse
26-04-08, 07:42 AM
^ yeah I do have a hormonal imbalance and i havent taken my tablets for almost a year :/
inshAllah im going to start taking them from next week and I saw the couciller on thursday and inshAllah im going to keep going to sort out strategies to control this.

JazakAllah khair everyone for your suggestions, i apprectiate it. May Allah swt reward you all.. ameen