Wolfn
05-04-08, 09:48 PM
http://halfdate.com/
Dealing with Learning:
Distinguishing between cultural traditions and actual Islamic teachings
Finding sound knowledge
Lack of fundamentals (basic belief system, prayer, importance of Quran/Sunnah)
Information dump: All at once, different schools of thought, various opinions
Lack of starter pack of commonly used Arabic words
Unspoken topics: interacting with the opposite gender, bathroom etiquette, Islamic hygiene topics (Ghusl, etc), table matters.
Being taught without everything is Haram with no justifications or explanations
Learning to temper enthusiasm with knowledge and humility
Learning appropriate manners with: those who have different knowledge/follow different madh-habs, non-Muslims, non-Muslim family members, scholars, fellow Muslims
Learning to introduce Islamic practices into automatic behavior, such as saying Bismillah before putting food in the mouth, saying dua before common daily activities
Dealing with Practice:
Coping with Islamic clothing (and not following a cultural style)
Learning how to please Allah, not following a cultural group’s beliefs
Avoiding blindly following the person who introduced you to Islam
When at masjid, feeling left alone and not made to feel welcome.
Being scolded for things such as wearing jeans or not wearing proper hijab
Lack of direction as to where to purchase proper attire and how much they cost
Fellow Muslims being passing judgment i.e. deeming someone as “extreme”
Facing negative comments
Dealing with old unIslamic issues: haram job, interests loans, alcohol, unlawful relationships, preciously held ideas/beliefs/practices that conflict with Islam
Hurrying to adopt external appearances and practices without developing a firm basis of faith
Relocating to a new community
Dealing with the Born-Muslims
Cultural paradigm shift–whites and fobs are so different
Answering the question, you are Muslim because you married to a Muslim?
Dealing with convert profiling
Coping with people constantly telling to do da`wah to your family, although you are trying to do it in the best way you know how, based on your relationship with your family
Having people constantly asking you to recite “Al-Fatihah” to prove you can do it
Despite being dressed in hijab, having Muslims asking you if you are a Muslim when they hear where you’re from
Coping with the apparent acceptability that it is OK for every Muslim to ask you very personal questions, although it would be rude for them to ask the same of people from their own culture
After the initial rush of happiness that you are a Muslim, then being made to feel/told that you are inferior to born Muslims, constantly hearing, “He/she is only a convert” and therefore made to feel deficient/extremist in your ideas/that your knowledge is less sound/that you are less valued as a Muslim
Trying to find a place that you feel comfortable in a Muslim community, especially if it has factionalized and you aren’t married to create an affiliation with one of the factions
Being expected to leave all your culture behind as it is seen to be inferior, but then finding that most Muslims have very strong cultural adherences that you are expected to accept
Learning to cope with new types of food, but having most people not willing to try yours
Disparity between the support networks provided to white verses non-white converts in communities
Lack of new friends in the community (not being introduced)
Lack of mentorship or support groups
Having to tell the story of your conversion to everyone you meet
When born Muslims don’t get it (e.g. calling First Nation as red Indians), or approaching Dawah in a way that doesn’t fit the culture of the audience
Dealing with Marriage:
Difficult to meet other potential Muslims because there is no Muslim family/friends to assist
Ethnic divisions
Virgin question
Lack of a responsible wali
Difficulties for sisters who have been married before and may have children
Having to cope with people constantly trying to marry you off to anyone who is looking to get married, despite their obvious lack of compatibility with you as a person
Not being aware of the cultural differences enough to know what are the warning signs to look out for in a prospective groom, many of whom deliberately target new Muslimahs knowing they have no Muslim family to support them prior to/during a marriage
Children from different Muslim fathers due to serial divorces and/or polygynous marriages
Dealing with Non-Muslims:
Working out how to tell your family the news of your conversion
Working out how to introduce your new beliefs and way of life into your relationship with them, such as halal food, hijab, alcohol, celebrations of non-Islamic festivals, etc.
Trying to show your family and friends that you haven’t joined an extremist cult, and that you won’t grow out of it in time
Trying to show your family that Islam has made you a better person
Lack of resources to deal with fallout of converting (ex. What to do if legal action is taken by convert family)
Answering constant insult about Islam from family/friends
Dealing with non-monotheists (people of the book family members)
Dealing with Expectations:
Islam vs. Muslim
Developing a balanced view of the scholars - having respect for their knowledge and dedication to the deen, but acceptance of their human infallibility
The unrealistic expectations of most new Muslims of doing Hijrah to the Muslim lands and expecting it to be like Madinah at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and their shock that the Muslims in the Muslim lands aren’t all like the Ansar
Adjusting to the reality of the Muslim world in comparison to the ideals set by Islam and practiced by the great Muslims
Single Muslim women with children and Muslim wives (whose husbands continue working in the west to support them) going overseas to do Hijrah and having to cope on their own with their children, in a country that they know nothing about and where they cannot speak the language
Special Care:
Dealing with psychological issues (bipolar, depression, old scars)
Dealing with disabilities
Dealing with Learning:
Distinguishing between cultural traditions and actual Islamic teachings
Finding sound knowledge
Lack of fundamentals (basic belief system, prayer, importance of Quran/Sunnah)
Information dump: All at once, different schools of thought, various opinions
Lack of starter pack of commonly used Arabic words
Unspoken topics: interacting with the opposite gender, bathroom etiquette, Islamic hygiene topics (Ghusl, etc), table matters.
Being taught without everything is Haram with no justifications or explanations
Learning to temper enthusiasm with knowledge and humility
Learning appropriate manners with: those who have different knowledge/follow different madh-habs, non-Muslims, non-Muslim family members, scholars, fellow Muslims
Learning to introduce Islamic practices into automatic behavior, such as saying Bismillah before putting food in the mouth, saying dua before common daily activities
Dealing with Practice:
Coping with Islamic clothing (and not following a cultural style)
Learning how to please Allah, not following a cultural group’s beliefs
Avoiding blindly following the person who introduced you to Islam
When at masjid, feeling left alone and not made to feel welcome.
Being scolded for things such as wearing jeans or not wearing proper hijab
Lack of direction as to where to purchase proper attire and how much they cost
Fellow Muslims being passing judgment i.e. deeming someone as “extreme”
Facing negative comments
Dealing with old unIslamic issues: haram job, interests loans, alcohol, unlawful relationships, preciously held ideas/beliefs/practices that conflict with Islam
Hurrying to adopt external appearances and practices without developing a firm basis of faith
Relocating to a new community
Dealing with the Born-Muslims
Cultural paradigm shift–whites and fobs are so different
Answering the question, you are Muslim because you married to a Muslim?
Dealing with convert profiling
Coping with people constantly telling to do da`wah to your family, although you are trying to do it in the best way you know how, based on your relationship with your family
Having people constantly asking you to recite “Al-Fatihah” to prove you can do it
Despite being dressed in hijab, having Muslims asking you if you are a Muslim when they hear where you’re from
Coping with the apparent acceptability that it is OK for every Muslim to ask you very personal questions, although it would be rude for them to ask the same of people from their own culture
After the initial rush of happiness that you are a Muslim, then being made to feel/told that you are inferior to born Muslims, constantly hearing, “He/she is only a convert” and therefore made to feel deficient/extremist in your ideas/that your knowledge is less sound/that you are less valued as a Muslim
Trying to find a place that you feel comfortable in a Muslim community, especially if it has factionalized and you aren’t married to create an affiliation with one of the factions
Being expected to leave all your culture behind as it is seen to be inferior, but then finding that most Muslims have very strong cultural adherences that you are expected to accept
Learning to cope with new types of food, but having most people not willing to try yours
Disparity between the support networks provided to white verses non-white converts in communities
Lack of new friends in the community (not being introduced)
Lack of mentorship or support groups
Having to tell the story of your conversion to everyone you meet
When born Muslims don’t get it (e.g. calling First Nation as red Indians), or approaching Dawah in a way that doesn’t fit the culture of the audience
Dealing with Marriage:
Difficult to meet other potential Muslims because there is no Muslim family/friends to assist
Ethnic divisions
Virgin question
Lack of a responsible wali
Difficulties for sisters who have been married before and may have children
Having to cope with people constantly trying to marry you off to anyone who is looking to get married, despite their obvious lack of compatibility with you as a person
Not being aware of the cultural differences enough to know what are the warning signs to look out for in a prospective groom, many of whom deliberately target new Muslimahs knowing they have no Muslim family to support them prior to/during a marriage
Children from different Muslim fathers due to serial divorces and/or polygynous marriages
Dealing with Non-Muslims:
Working out how to tell your family the news of your conversion
Working out how to introduce your new beliefs and way of life into your relationship with them, such as halal food, hijab, alcohol, celebrations of non-Islamic festivals, etc.
Trying to show your family and friends that you haven’t joined an extremist cult, and that you won’t grow out of it in time
Trying to show your family that Islam has made you a better person
Lack of resources to deal with fallout of converting (ex. What to do if legal action is taken by convert family)
Answering constant insult about Islam from family/friends
Dealing with non-monotheists (people of the book family members)
Dealing with Expectations:
Islam vs. Muslim
Developing a balanced view of the scholars - having respect for their knowledge and dedication to the deen, but acceptance of their human infallibility
The unrealistic expectations of most new Muslims of doing Hijrah to the Muslim lands and expecting it to be like Madinah at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and their shock that the Muslims in the Muslim lands aren’t all like the Ansar
Adjusting to the reality of the Muslim world in comparison to the ideals set by Islam and practiced by the great Muslims
Single Muslim women with children and Muslim wives (whose husbands continue working in the west to support them) going overseas to do Hijrah and having to cope on their own with their children, in a country that they know nothing about and where they cannot speak the language
Special Care:
Dealing with psychological issues (bipolar, depression, old scars)
Dealing with disabilities