View Full Version : am i too old to get married
sadaf29
21-02-08, 03:38 PM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
Pippin1376
21-02-08, 03:43 PM
29 isn't old sister. You still have many years to marry just try to work on it now if you really want it. Inshallah Allah will make it easy for you, and let you find an amazing husband.
i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
Sister everything happens for a reason. Perhaps Allah had planned it this way because you weren't ready for marriage then. Perhaps this is simply a test and you'll find your true husband in the process. Just know that everything happens for a reason.
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 03:43 PM
Of course your not old sis, you can get married when your ready and at any time :D
Fitnah Bolice
21-02-08, 03:46 PM
Subhan'Allah this is what really annoys me, this Jahil asian mentality of promising your child to someone when they're born. Such nonsense, it's beyond ridiculous.
your not old, my friend's bro had no pressure from no one to marry and he kept turning down women left right and centre.....now he is 39yrs old and has decided to tie the knot with a sister the same age (she has a child from a previous marriage) but this is his 1st marriage!
so dont think your old to get married,their is not limit, it is jus society who creates the stereotypical view that once your over 21yrs old your an old fogey:rolleyes:
hanaa_al_muminah
21-02-08, 03:55 PM
Subhan'Allah this is what really annoys me, this Jahil asian mentality of promising your child to someone when they're born. Such nonsense, it's beyond ridiculous.
yeh its nor right to do this because whom you get married to is from the unseen that is already decreed 4 u!!!
SIS, you shudnt feel sad or angry or upset at ur cousin or you parents coz everything happens according to Allah's will!!!
it was already decreed that you wernt gna get married b4 29!!! it is no-one fault so dont have grudges against ppl. especially ur parents!!
plus my cousin got married when she was 29 n shes 30 now wiv a baby,so sis its jus a test from Allah(swt)!! it is to Allah(swt) that you should be askin n beggin n letting ur feelings out coz its only Allah that can give u what u want/need!
insha'allah u will get a husband who is righteous n pious!!:)
zahra_unknown
21-02-08, 03:58 PM
When we get married and who we marry is all written in our Naseeb (fate)
You may have to wait but inshaAllah you will be happy with whom you marry.
(age has nothing to do with it) :inlove:
Isn't it better that you found out that the cousin didnt want to get married to you before instead of after getting married to him and having a miserable marriage? :( Allah knows best...
Make loads and loads of Du'aa.. Du'aa can change a persons naseeb too
miss-islamic
21-02-08, 03:59 PM
Get married to an "old" guy (age 30-40 shall do).
Metroid
21-02-08, 04:08 PM
I know what you exactly and I've been depressed lately about that:(
Even as a man myself, I find it extremely difficult to find a woman.
Pray for Allah to make it easier for you.:insha: you will get a good husband. :up:
Like other have said, it was not decreed for you to marry before your current age
Metroid
21-02-08, 04:09 PM
Get married to an "old" guy (age 30-40 shall do).
Bad advice.:asta:
If you find a good muslim bro:coolbro:, accept him even if he is younger than you are
Bad advice.:asta:
If you find a good muslim bro:coolbro:, accept him even if he is younger than you are
exactly age does not matter, our beloved Prophet SAW left a prime example of that when he married his wife khadija RA
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
assalam alaikum
have patiece.....and inshaALLAH you will reward for it..
and inshaALLAH when your time will come to marry...you will get marry ...inshaALLAH
may ALLAH listen to your prayers
amin
wassalam
jazakALLAH khair
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 04:11 PM
Bad advice.:asta:
If you find a good muslim bro:coolbro:, accept him even if he is younger than you are
Yeah, age isnt a problem marriage is some thing that you shouldnt rush into
miss-islamic
21-02-08, 04:13 PM
exactly age does not matter, our beloved Prophet SAW left a prime example of that when he married his wife khadija RA
Right. But we are talking about the real world; in general and practical terms.
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 04:15 PM
^Right. But we are talking about the real world; in general and practical terms.
What do you mean ? In the real world if some one gets married and they arent ready they rush into it, its got a good chance of not survivng thats why you should get married when you are ready and know it is what you want ?
What real world are you on about ?
Right. But we are talking about the real world; in general and practical terms.
there was a 15year difference between Prophet Saw and his wife, my friend's husband is 10years older than her and they have been married over 15years.
I have seen married couples with 20 year differences and they are happily married, so i dont understand your above sentance becos it happens in the real world and is not something that is rare either.
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 04:19 PM
there was a 15year difference between Prophet Saw and his wife, my friend's husband is 10years older than her and they have been married over 15years.
I have seen married couples with 20 year differences and they are happily married, so i dont understand your above sentance becos it happens in the real world and is not something that is rare either.
Yeah thats sorta what I was trying to say, I wonder where her real world is I want one lol (my own world :D)
Onli messin sis :S
miss-islamic
21-02-08, 04:34 PM
there was a 15year difference between Prophet Saw and his wife, my friend's husband is 10years older than her and they have been married over 15years.
I have seen married couples with 20 year differences and they are happily married, so i dont understand your above sentance becos it happens in the real world and is not something that is rare either.
It is rare and probably a good thing to. We are suppose to marry someone we are compatible with and usually similar age would come under that. Yeah thats sorta what I was trying to say, I wonder where her real world is I want one lol (my own world :D)
Onli messin sis :S
Real world = world outside of the Internet forum where people are all nice and everybody says they would marry a someone older than them, a disabled person, another ethnicity, adopt an orphan e.t.c.. In the real world such does not happen.
It is rare and probably a good thing to. We are suppose to marry someone we are compatible with and usually similar age would come under that.
an age gap does not mean there is no compatibility, some people find people of their own age immature,so i disagree with your statement.
It is definately not something rare in the UK, maybe just where u live sis.
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 04:37 PM
It is rare and probably a good thing to. We are suppose to marry someone we are compatible with and usually similar age would come under that.
Real world = world outside of the Internet forum where people are all nice and everybody says they would marry a someone older than them, a disabled person, another ethnicity, adopt an orphan e.t.c.. In the real world such does not happen.
not reli, because Ill be honest with what I have to say there ent no point in lying here because Allah knows our intention its just best to be honest
stephenoskie
21-02-08, 04:38 PM
It is rare and probably a good thing to. We are suppose to marry someone we are compatible with and usually similar age would come under that.
Real world = world outside of the Internet forum where people are all nice and everybody says they would marry a someone older than them, a disabled person, another ethnicity, adopt an orphan e.t.c.. In the real world such does not happen.
and not every one is like that we ent all the same just similar if so
toufeeq
21-02-08, 05:05 PM
salamu Alaykum
I think however that often times our sisters are taught to be obedient to an extreme outside the Shariah constraints. Obedience to ones parents is mentioned right after not associating partners with Allah but does it mean we shoudl accept unIslamic practices. If we all lived in Lahore in 1200 then yes even I would arrange a marriage for my child right away but our ethnic cultures have lost so much of the Islamic essence in so many ways how can we keep some customs and the leave others when all of the custons and sunnah have to work hand in hand. It is similar to making walnut baklava without the walnuts or using pine nuts or simply leaving the walnuts out and trying to sell it in a Turkish neighborhood :)
Simply our sisters and brothers should study the fiqh, sunnah and know how to apply it with wisdom. I would say that disobeying one's parents should be the last resort but first try to make dua, give sadaqa and then plead with your parents, but these marriages are failing all over the UK and even the US and Canada especially when the people involved are irreligious.
Many sisters lose their deen so it is not worth saving face with parents truly. Now the opposite side is that many inter-family/tribal marriages do work well as I have seen myself from some of my friends. So each case differs from the other.
Lastly, sisters who reach 30 and above should consider not being as picky as they might be with 30 prerequisites for a brother. Even if you find someone who meets all our requirements he still can turn out to be a monster or you still might not be compatible!
just some thoughts!"
- Toufeeq
Metroid
21-02-08, 05:08 PM
I have seen married couples with 20 year differences and they are happily married, so i dont understand your above sentance becos it happens in the real world and is not something that is rare either.
My father could least 25 to 30 years older than his spouse and every body is happy:alhumdull:up:
Treasured Soul
21-02-08, 08:38 PM
You are NOT too old sis ... trust me when I say this .. its just cultural boundaries placed on us .. when we should ideally get married.
As long as your broad minded and keep your options open i.e. dont strict yourself to family or caste, etc ... you will find someone soon InshaAllah.
muhammed_1428
21-02-08, 09:02 PM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
Salaam, don't worry sis - you're probably not the only one who feels like this, and that's a good thing, cos' it means there's a brother out there who feels the same way and may be very compatible with you Insha'allah. You're old and mature enough now to find your own husband, so do so, ask family and friends etc - there's nothin wrong with the sister making the approach
Metroid
21-02-08, 09:11 PM
I was wondering in what location the sister is currently living
insomniac
21-02-08, 09:21 PM
:(
sis, do I know you?
Some never get married
:(
sis, do I know you?
You're Nazias husband I heard? Funny that because you always claimed you were female.
insomniac
21-02-08, 09:25 PM
Some never get married
You're Nazias husband I heard? Funny that because you always claimed you were female.
think head in vice
speak not
:D :D
wifeseeker
21-02-08, 09:59 PM
well i'm male, 32 now n i'm still looking.
chek out my profile sis n get bak 2 me if ur interested.
seriously.
well i'm male, 32 now n i'm still looking.
chek out my profile sis n get bak 2 me if ur interested.
seriously.
:eek3:
wifeseeker
21-02-08, 10:06 PM
don't b upset kubs.
i'm sincere about wat i sed.
*IslamicGirl*
21-02-08, 10:07 PM
:start:
:salams
don't b upset kubs.
i'm sincere about wat i sed.
:up: :masha: :)
(but don't forget the wali!)
:wswrwb:
don't b upset kubs.
i'm sincere about wat i sed.
lol I'm not upset. I'm sure you're sincere Mashallah - perhaps you should consult the sister privately, rather than having to display it openly on the forum. You could also speak to a moderator if you are genuinely interested.
Ghuraba*
21-02-08, 10:14 PM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
:aku_salam:
dnt wori sis, like evry1 is sayin it jus wasnt menna b 4u 2get married to ur cousin @25. n Alhumduliallah 4dat, coz Allah knows best n He has probably saved u 4rm sumthing bad that wud'v happened in the future if u did get married then. :insha: u will get married n just rememba dat da bro u'll marry, da date u'll get married, the age u'll get married @ all d way down to da clothes u will wear on the day, are already written 4u :insha: so just keep raising ur hands up to Allah n trust in Allah for He is the most Trustworthy and be patient for Allah loves the 1 who is patient.
oh n d best dua's 2read r the 1s we find in da Qur'an, so in surah 25 Al-Furqan verse 74 there is a really gd dua 2read 4 a suitable spouse inshAllah.:up:
And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun"
Metroid
21-02-08, 11:19 PM
I may also be down with that provided we live in the same location
Khuram_2k?
21-02-08, 11:35 PM
i know someone who has a 25 yr age difference, it doesnt matter what age gap there may be as long as your happy!
RashidD
22-02-08, 12:19 AM
Some never get married
You're Nazias husband I heard? Funny that because you always claimed you were female.
Can i please add this to my sig??
Can i please add this to my sig??
Sure
Baybars
22-02-08, 12:43 AM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
29 is nothing sister, there are plenty of guys that will marry a 29 year old. You're are still considered young in my book, and I'd think in most people's book too.
Don't stress, trust Allah. You're not too old, there is someone out there for you inshallah!
ummbilal
22-02-08, 12:45 AM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
salaam alakum sister
29 isnt too old to marry, its never too old to marry, you have a lot to offer inshaallah, dont dwell on what could have been etc.. and dont blame your parents they simply wanted what they believed was best for you, make duas to Allah and inshaallah you will be guided to your husband, like my dear sister who made duas constantly to be guided by Allah and then she met her future husband "Hadi" which means "the guide"
Allah knows what we do not, and you may have been saved from something awful by waiting, so say Allhumdulilah and look to your future sister x
sadaf29
22-02-08, 04:24 PM
Hi I just wanna thank you all for replying to my post, you've all made me feel alot better i'm abit more positive now.:)
sadaf29
22-02-08, 04:27 PM
Subhan'Allah this is what really annoys me, this Jahil asian mentality of promising your child to someone when they're born. Such nonsense, it's beyond ridiculous.
Yeah it really annoys me too but this is so common amongst pakistani and indian people.
ana_mujahid
23-02-08, 10:39 PM
29 is not to old, but its better if u got married at a young age, like the prophet :pbuh: said ' oh young people marry at a young age'
Hope u find the loving and careing man :)
:wswrwb:
BARAA IBN MALIK
23-02-08, 10:44 PM
SISTER U WAIT AND SEE
SOME BROTHER WILL COME UP TO U ONE DAY AND SAY
WHEN I SAW U I SAID MASHALLAH
AND THEN NEXT I SAID INSHALLAH
:up: KEEP UR COOL PRAY TO ALLAH
sadaf29
24-02-08, 04:45 PM
29 is not to old, but its better if u got married at a young age, like the prophet :pbuh: said ' oh young people marry at a young age'
Hope u find the loving and careing man :)
:wswrwb:
Yes i know its better to get married young, but it doesn't always work out that way.
$HugoBoss$
24-02-08, 04:50 PM
If your rich and your old, age doesn't have anything to do with marriage.
curious_man
25-02-08, 09:35 AM
Hi,
I'm 29 and not married , i feel really old and i dont think anyone will wanna marry me now, i never planned on leaving it this late, i thought i'd be married by 25 at the latest, but it didn't work out as i hoped mainly cos my parents already had a cousin lined up for me from when i was very young they already decided who i marry without asking me cos they didn't want me to marry out of the family, and even though i wasnt too sure about this cousin i was gona go along with it for my parents sake,anyway they kept me waiting for this cousin and when i was 28 he said he didn't wanna marry me i feel angry at my parents cos i felt they've ruined my life and i wish my cousin had said something sooner then maybe i would have been married by now, i keep questioning why this happened to me and i know everything happens for a reason but i just wish i got married younger and now i feel there's no hope for me.
not yet. 29 is ok. 30 is old :P
only joking.
I married my wife when she was 30. she threatened me into by saying if u dont marry me before am 31 I am going to kick the C**P out of u..
best thing I did... and i still got the beats... WOMEN eh..
on a serious note... it is harder for girls to get married older they get -- cos guys wanna marry younger girls... i got one mid 30's and one early 30's well educated single sister in laws... its tough for gals...
If I was rich I'd help out the ummah by marrying another 3 .... so make dua I strike it rich soon lollll
Stylish-Girly
25-02-08, 12:21 PM
What traitors :rubeyes: theres a match made in heaven for everyone so keep prayin and dont lose hope ma sis
Zesty says people blossom in their 30's so you're hittin perfection :inlove:
Dain Bramaged
25-02-08, 12:41 PM
your never too old to get married if your young at heart :rolleyes:
Dain Bramaged
25-02-08, 12:42 PM
If I was rich I'd help out the ummah by marrying another 3 .... so make dua I strike it rich soon lollll
:rotfl:
toufeeq
25-02-08, 09:09 PM
salams,
People aught to marry when they have gained the maturity that is due. In our western cultures and even eastern cultures, with the advent of the modern age, we have been afflicted with the disease of maturing rather slowly and in Islam adolescence doe snot exist. Youth to man/womanhood which is the same time one declares shahadah.
29 or 39 if the sister or brother is for Allah and with Allah the time of marriage will be blessed.
Nah your not old, my dad's sister got married when she was 29 and several years later happy with 5 kids.
Nah your not old, my dad's sister got married when she was 29 and several years later happy with 5 kids.
awww mashallah :inlove:
and also as i have said my friend's bro is 39 and is about to get married for the 1st time to a sister of 39 also!
Allah swt knows the best time for everyone and if it doesnt happen for you then see it as u being protected from alot of misery/sadness/oppression etc, Allah swt will give u only what he knows is good for u
singlemuslims.co.uk free for women to chat and send emails, only guys pay. toooooons of people your age. please remember me in your dua. jzk
:salams
29 is not old at all... 33 is the age of perfection. That is the age we will all be in Jannah. Insha'Allah. So how can 29 be considered old. ;)
Salaam to all,
I am nearly 35 now, and Inshallah get married soon with the grace of ALLAH.
Asma_Here
05-03-08, 04:29 AM
Jazaak Allah khair my dear sister.. Age is not the deciding factor..
I hope Alllaah bestows His Mercy upon you and May you find your companion soon..
AMEEN YA RABB
LastFriday
05-03-08, 06:06 AM
:salams
29 is not old at all... 33 is the age of perfection. That is the age we will all be in Jannah. Insha'Allah. So how can 29 be considered old. ;)
O, did not know that! Very interesting! 33 :D Man I can't wait to see Jannah...if I see it :crying:
Muujahid
05-03-08, 06:25 AM
hey i'm 28yrs old and not married. and i guess because i'm a man i'm in no rush, i'm patiently waiting......
Asma_Here
05-03-08, 06:29 AM
Brother, tht's funny. Guys can wait longer than girls.. That's the society's norm..
Still.. May Allah bless my dear sister's life (= Ameen
Muujahid
05-03-08, 06:40 AM
Brother, tht's funny. Guys can wait longer than girls.. That's the society's norm..
Still.. May Allah bless my dear sister's life (= Ameen
your right, i'm just loving my peace and quiet right now. i dont have to worry about anyone's feelings right now, no one is upset w/ me and the best part is that when i get home to my house after work, no one's hear to bother me, no one is bugging me when i'm out, omg it feel so go.
i would love to be married but not at the moment and sister your 29, so what..... if u think that matters to a man ur sadly mistaken, i know a brother that is 20 married to a 46yr old woman and he is the happiest man and they've been married for atleast 3yrs. al hamdulillah
so dont be sad about being 29yrs old and not married, just be happy you can still get married.
toufeeq
05-03-08, 03:51 PM
I personally don't mind any age, but for sure sisters you should think about having children so as a sister the younger the better if prepared to handle the responsibility of a relationship.
:salams
O, did not know that! Very interesting! 33 :D Man I can't wait to see Jannah...if I see it :crying:
There is a hadeeth which states that they will enter Paradise “aged thirty-three years” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2545; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Takhreej al-Mishkaat, 5634). Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning this age: “There is obvious wisdom behind this, for it is the most perfect age at which one is most able to enjoy physical pleasures, and the age at which one's health and strength are most perfect.” (Haadi al-Arwaah, p. 111).
Ya Allah by Your grace and mercy make us, you and all the Muslims among the people of Jannah, and to help us to act in accordance with Your religion and for the sake of Your religion, until we meet You when You are pleased with us, for You are the Most Merciful of those who show mercy... Ameen.
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