Contact with the Ex wife/husband

[Deen123]

Salaam

For those of you who have ex wifes how do you deal with them in terms of contact? I have kids who I see at the weekends so I have to see the ex when I pick them up but I avoid any contact with the ex, only commuicate via text messages.

I know people say you should get on for the childrens sake but it angers me they are being raised in a non-islamic environment.

How do you deal with your ex wife/husband?

[Pro_Candy]

I avoid contact with my ex as much as possible. When we do have to speak, I keep it strictly business. He is Shia (at the moment), I'm not strictly practicing (lost my fervor to learn over the years that he offered no help), so many would think that neither of us are good Muslims.

I don't like what he teaches my children, I don't like the example he sets for them. But, I learned from experience (since my own parents are divorced), that speaking ill of the other parent around or to the children is a bad idea.

Example... My ex talks very bad about me to my children. I, on the other hand, tell my children that although I don't agree with him or his ways, that they should still respect their father. He tells them I am trash, I tell them to pray for him. He tells them they don't have to listen to me or their grandma, and can disobey us, I tell them to be good when they are with him.

Who do my kids respect more? They love me, respect me, and are themselves around me. Him? They don't like him, they're scared of him, and don't want to go with him when it's time to get them.

Be good to your kids, be cordial to their mom. They will respect you more, and will lean more towards your ways.

[GuCcI]

since im so experienced, i'll tell you.

u shouldnt speak bad about your spouse to your kids at allll. it'll make them feel bad.

no one likes to hear people say crap about their MOM. it'll make them not like you.

teach your kids islam and even though their mom isnt raising them islamically(?) u should explain to them why you run things a different way in your house and explain the importance. dont shoot their mom down, just explain to them that maybe one day they can teach their mom :love:

hopefully your wife does (doesnt?) the same. u prolly dont need to talk to her unless necessary right but even wen u do talk to her in front of the kids, act civil :up:

[Treasured Soul]

I have to agree with the majority here .. bad mouthing will get you no where ... they will just end up hating you instead.

[stephenoskie]

Just be civil when in exch pthers presence ESP if you got children as it will be hard on them, come on act like adults and if the ex wants to be childish then dont rise to the occasion is it worth it ?

[curious_man]

Salaam

For those of you who have ex wifes how do you deal with them in terms of contact? I have kids who I see at the weekends so I have to see the ex when I pick them up but I avoid any contact with the ex, only commuicate via text messages.

I know people say you should get on for the childrens sake but it angers me they are being raised in a non-islamic environment.

How do you deal with your ex wife/husband?

i have not spoken with my x since our divorce. i see my son through my family. my brother or sister pick him up and drop him off in my house.

but every situation is different. ur best to go through solicitors and get access properly.