View Full Version : here's what i have to say about arranged marriages
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:17 AM
I think forcing someone to marry is reall unfair when they can't fall in love with the person of thier choice what is also unfair is that the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
yeah arranged marriages suck...but that has nothing to do with him not being able to marry you
Khuram_2k?
17-02-08, 03:23 AM
but lets not forget all the muslims out there that cant find a wife or vice versa! arranged marriage helps alot in that route but otherwise i dont agree with it either.
Um_yusuf
17-02-08, 03:37 AM
Plz dont forget the MASSIVE difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages, the 2 are not the same!!
As muslims , we dnt do the whole 'dating' rubbish, marriages are arranged through family and freinds, but tht doesnt mean anyone is forced into a marriage they dnt want. If force is used , then its wrong and against Islam
I think forcing someone to marry is reall unfair when they can't fall in love with the person of thier choice what is also unfair is that the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
Assalam alaikum
sister....your parents are forcing you to marry or his parents is forcing him to marry?
jazakALLAH khair
wassalam
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:38 AM
i am not even his gf cus of this stupid rule just more of a close friend but yeah i guess it does somewhat help bring people together it's werid though cus that's something i am gona have to aceppt with him when his time comes or i don't know if it has comes to marry that unkwon girl who is guts i am hating at the moment cus she really lucky his really a sweet guy.
Plz dont forget the MASSIVE difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages, the 2 are not the same!!
As muslims , we dnt do the whole 'dating' rubbish, marriages are arranged through family and freinds, but tht doesnt mean anyone is forced into a marriage they dnt want. If force is used , then its wrong and against Islam
jazakALLAH khair
perfect answer :up:
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:40 AM
Assalam alaikum
sister....your parents are forcing you to marry or his parents is forcing him to marry?
jazakALLAH khair
wassalam
I am not his religion i am catholic i am able to chose who ever i damn wanna marry unlike his parents they are currently choosing his girl which sucks cus i have no bloody say in this :( i just want some to treat him right and all that i am currently hating the unkown girl at this moment.
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:42 AM
jazakALLAH khair
perfect answer :up:
I am not being forced to marry him to clear that out with everyone i am currently madly in love with the guy.
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:44 AM
something that i always been wondering is what the hell is the age when guys can marry in the muslin culture or does it like depend.
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:46 AM
but still forced or arranged it sucks as hell.
I am not his religion i am catholic i am able to chose who ever i damn wanna marry unlike his parents they are currently choosing his girl which sucks cus i have no bloody say in this :( i just want some to treat him right and all that i am currently hating the unkown girl at this moment.
no problem...
don't worry...after few years you will forget him...and this is a life.....don't be sad...enjoy :hidban: :hidban: :inlove:
but still forced or arranged it sucks as hell.
no..its good.....better then love marraige.....who wants to read a book which is read before...
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:50 AM
no problem...
don't worry...after few years you will forget him...and this is a life.....don't be sad...enjoy :hidban: :hidban: :inlove:
don't think i probally will he is like one of those guys that are hard to forget i shall try.
don't think i probally will he is like one of those guys that are hard to forget i shall try.
best of luck...and i am sure that you will forget him :up: :up:
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:53 AM
no..its good.....better then love marraige.....who wants to read a book which is read before...
well arranged marriges do last longer that i give you but wouldn't you rather know who the person is that your marrying.
well arranged marriges do last longer that i give you but wouldn't you rather know who the person is that your marrying.
no problem...we will know when we will get marry...
no big deal.... :inlove:
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 03:58 AM
LOL good luck with that. yeah do you know the ages that guys normally marry.
LOL good luck with that. yeah do you know the ages that guys normally marry.
i know about in my culture....
some times 21 or 28...in between them.
cute_girl123
17-02-08, 04:01 AM
i see
.: hayat :.
17-02-08, 08:44 AM
I think forcing someone to marry is reall unfair when they can't fall in love with the person of thier choice what is also unfair is that the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
but many times love marriages end quick as ppl have no comon values and beliefs...in an arranged marriage u learn to love and u build smth strong on common basis...love vanish so quicly when ppl marry cuse of problems and accustom but when the marriage is founded on other common things it is focused on resolving problems and this strenght the relation...a muslim man is better to marry a muslim women cuse they find love through worship and love 4 Allah sake, religion is a serious matter and 4 example is a muslim marry a catholic there r many chances the marriage not work cuse of spiritual differences and different behaviour..he would hate,with the passing of time, the things she does and which r haraam 4 him...also such a family is not best choice 4 children as he would expect to have good muslim children but a chatolic wife would not be proper 4 teaching children abt islam..and she would be the most of time with the kids..also a chatolic woman would not behave between muslims of his husband's family as would be required and would be many situation when the husband will be hurt or would be between wife and family and the quarrels would end the marriage too..there r many things..there r less chances a muslim man to be happy with a love marriage with a person from other religion...islam is more complex and if u would be muslimah u would understand why i say all this and tht it can't be all as we want due to many reasons which influence a marriage...
arranged marriage is good with the consent of both ppl....
afsalim
17-02-08, 08:51 AM
I think forcing someone to marry is reall unfair when they can't fall in love with the person of thier choice what is also unfair is that the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
Personally I don't believe in arranged marriages either. I've seen arranged marriages and love marriages having both good and bad endings. But there is no rule preventing you from marrying the person you're in love with.
Aboo Uthmaan
17-02-08, 10:35 AM
Don’t mean to be a prude, but...
I think it is only fair to make a distinction between “arranged” marriages and “forced” marriages.
Nor do I believe that we as Muslims should be putting ourselves in situations with the opposite sex that allow us to develop intimate feelings since doing so will mean that certain boundaries of Allaah will no doubt be transgressed.
even if we fell in love, one day it will end..and we'll regret about having married a person without having common thoughts, common interests and points of view and attitude to life. So arranged marriaged is not a bad thing since you make a decision with your mind but not with your heart. Anyway, if you don't like a person, you can say no - if it's not a "forced" one
wat r u talking about. arranged isnt forced.
arranged marriage is the best :up: :hidban:
afsalim
17-02-08, 05:21 PM
Marriages are the best, let it be love or arranged.
Salaam sister,
Inshallah if its written from ALLLAH that you will marry him then you will of sure, but is its not then what ever you do yo can't marry him.
May ALLAH give you sabar(Patience) to go through this.
AH
*IslamicGirl*
18-02-08, 12:06 AM
:start:
:salams
I think forcing someone to marry is reall unfair when they can't fall in love with the person of thier choice what is also unfair is that the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
There is nothing wrong with arranged marriages- in fact it saves you from all that heart break one may have to endure whilst finding 'the one'
Arranged mariage means consent
Forced marriage means there is no consent.
You are talking about forced right? (title is misleading?)
Remember sis everything happens for a reason and Allah will make a path for you, what you may have deemed to be good may have been really bad for you, temporarily it may seem good but maybe :insha: years later you look back and think :sub: Allah saved me from something disastrous.
Faith- keep it :insha:
:wswrwb:
the_middle_road
18-02-08, 03:53 PM
:start:
:salams
There is nothing wrong with arranged marriages- in fact it saves you from all that heart break one may have to endure whilst finding 'the one'
Arranged mariage means consent
Forced marriage means there is no consent.
You are talking about forced right? (title is misleading?)
Remember sis everything happens for a reason and Allah will make a path for you, what you may have deemed to be good may have been really bad for you, temporarily it may seem good but maybe :insha: years later you look back and think :sub: Allah saved me from something disastrous.
Faith- keep it :insha:
:wswrwb:
:wswrwb:
Umm... she's not a Muslim.
Riceball
19-02-08, 10:49 PM
the guy i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him
Welcome to the real world, and I apologies on behalf that boys parents for bursting your Barbie world bubble.
Pippin1376
20-02-08, 12:15 AM
i am really really really really in love with is muslim and i am not and therefore i can't be with him cus of that stupid rule
You do realize you could get married to him instead?
and it really did killed having him tell me that he is arranged cus this would be something I'll never be able to let go off cus this is just cruel. cus the only place i can be happy with him is in my dreams and that is why i hate arrange marriages.
Like others have said there is a difference between arranged and forced. If he's forced, then there is nothing you can do. If it's arranged then he in the end has to consent to it. If he says yes to the arranged marriage, then doesn't that say something about him and his feelings towards you?
zain2889
20-02-08, 12:15 PM
Arranged marraiges... baddddddddd
You really cant force yourself to love somebody, it may grow in time, but what if it doesnt? Is it worth the risk? To marry somebody you dont love and possibly create a new life with him?
hanaa_al_muminah
20-02-08, 12:54 PM
Arranged marraiges... baddddddddd
You really cant force yourself to love somebody, it may grow in time, but what if it doesnt? Is it worth the risk? To marry somebody you dont love and possibly create a new life with him?
it is Allah(swt) that places the love and mercy between u and ur spouse, not u or ur spouse or money , etc etc.....
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