mom or dad?

[hanaa_al_muminah]

who are u closer to your mum or ur dad??? n why??

hmmmmmmmmmm.........:rolleyes:

[scribble]

I'm closer to my mum, only because my father decides to devote his time to working and when he's at home he's praying. :rubeyes:

In all honesty I wish I had more of a bond with my father but I guess it's just how it is.

I do wish sometimes that our family were a lot more bound together than we are now, and in some cases I blame myself for not having tried hard in enough, of course family means everything to anyone, and you only know how much your parents mean to you, after they're gone.

I'm just closer to my mum because she's with us more often. Regardless the fact we don't converse as friend's but rather as parent and child, I still think the relationship I have with her is stronger than the one I have with my father.

When I have children of my own, Inshallah, I'm going to make sure that my children have a much stronger bond with their parents than I have with mine. :)

[Arrakis]

My father before a certain age, now neither of them.

People go on and on about love your mum, respect your mum, how a bond between mother and child is the greatest thing ever, but then again people say alot of things that turn out to be old wives tales.:(

[Noor_Usman]

Asalamalikum.

In the case of both my natural parents and my in laws (who we pretty much treat as our joint *only* parents) my father(s)! :up:

The women on my side are all really bad :( :embar:
I did start typing to explain why but I guess it just boils down to lack of respect for the family (and family unit). Even though my Gran will regularly give away to 3rd world countries and help with social services and christain groups - she is still very distant and quite indifferent towards her own family (who knows maybe i'll end up like that! :rubeyes: ). The others are all completely absorbed in the dunya and 'enjoying life while it lasts'.

My mother in law is also obsessed with the dunya. I am not surprised her children are easily swayed away from the guides of Islam - the only difference it breaks my heart to see my husband and sister in laws when they act like this :(

Mashallah my dad although non muslim and quite a recluse is very6 open minded and loving and alhamdillah my father in law is a VERY generious and caring man who practises Islam as best he knows :inlove:

[nomoreillusions]

My father before a certain age, now neither of them.

People go on and on about love your mum, respect your mum, how a bond between mother and child is the greatest thing ever, but then again people say alot of things that turn out to be old wives tales.:(


Just remember something...

Your mother started out as a tiny, innocent baby. She was brought into this world even as you were, and throughout her life, she was subjected to whatever cruelty this life has offered to each of us.

Even without knowing her, I can safely say that she was hurt, because we have all felt hurt. I can say she was disappointed, because we all feel disappointment.

These things shape us and shape our outlook on life and how we treat others. These things build walls up inside us.

As children, all these pains that build these walls are done out of mere survival. How can a child of any extraordinary negative childhood factors, a child that has formed so many defense mechanisms in response to an unhealthy life, grow up to be a normal, healthy adult?

Without help, wounded children grow up to be wounded adults, and wounded adults have a great deal of trouble raising healthy children themselves.

It's not about blame. It's not about who started what. It's about recognizing that so much pain and hurt and suffering exists in this world, and while it doesn't make our own childhood pains better or excuse whatever problems our parents had, it can at least help us, as adults, to understand our parents a little better.

Even when our parents mess up, over and over, realize that (very rarely) are they doing it deliberately to mess us up. Usually they think they're doing what is best for us, or raising us 'how they were raised', or not raising us deliberately how they were raised...

Parents do their best, and that's all any of us can do. But it hurts us most when it's our parents who are themselves broken in some way, and that brokenness passes on to us.

I obviously am speaking out of the most general of capacities since I know nothing about you or your parents... but I just hope that something I've written will make sense.

Parents, ultimately, are only human. They do their best, they mess up, they aren't perfect or always themselves entirely healthy individuals in a mental/emotional sense.

It's hard to look past all the failings we felt as we were raised, but if we can, we can maybe understand our parents just a bit and not feel quite so much sadness or biterness over anything that happened.

[Loobna]

who are u closer to your mum or ur dad??? n why??

hmmmmmmmmmm.........:rolleyes:

My mummy :) because she understands me (sometimes probably better than I understand myself lol) and because she was born here and my dad wasnt she understands more about what its like at school and work and stuff. Also I like to learn about Islam with my mum (we go to Tajweed class together and arabic class) and that makes us close :) My mummy is lovely because she will go out of her way to help me even when she's tired...and even if I'm being a pain :o Also she's very good at seeing both sides of things so she always gives the best advice mashallah :)

I am close to my Daddy too - for stuff like DIY :o when I want to fix something around the house he always knows what to do, how to go about it and always has a wonderful new tool in one of his toolboxes which he lets me use to make the job easier :up: and he picks out really nice clothes for us lol - he got us all these really nice hoodies and jumpers in the sales :)

[Jihaan]

Both :love:

[sister_sumera]

I love them both but i'm a 'daddy's girl' :inlove:

[imported_MMS]

mummy :inlove:

she finds me cute, so i can get away with a lot of things :o:o
that doesnt work with my dad, he cusses me too much :p

[Treasured Soul]

I dont think I had a very close relationship with either of my parents. I was a very reserved/shy/quiet child ... well actually still am :o

But having said that ... I was a daddys girl :inlove:
and my bro was the mommy boy ... thats how it worked in our family ... girls were usually closer to my dad and boys closer to my mom.

I'm just disappointed I never really got to know either of my parents at a much deeper level ...

[GuCcI]

neither.

[MustBePatient]

I don't know, I seem equally close to both but at the same time the two relationships feel different.

[parwaaz]

even though i would say my mother.i am not too close, i have always been shy and in my early years also lacked confidence.this kept me from confiding in my mother regarding abuse i faced whilst a kid and also problems i had during marriage.

and i would love to say that i wish i was closer to my father, but he never let us be closer to him.he has always has had a very dictator style of life, with no respect for others feelings.despite promising he will not repeat such things again, he keeps breaking hearts to a non-repairable extent.

[Khuram_2k?]

i have great and very understanding parents, but im closer to my mum than dad :) my mum runs the show in my house, who runs the show with you lot? mum or dad?

[Rosalie-Beauty]

I have close relationships with both my parents and (not to brag) that's pretty good for a teen in America.

I guess I could say that I am closer to my mom since we are both women so I tell her more. But we are both stubborn (I got it from her) So we argue about things and then laugh about it.

My dad and I have an interesting connection. Not the usual, daughter-dad thing going on. We play subtle games to irritate each other (lots of satire) and call each other names (mind though, we do like each other, most people would not understand this) We also do silly things together, like just the other day we watched The Lion King again. This is how we bond, its quite fun.

and this probably accounts for the reason I turned out the way I did, which in my opinion is good enough. :D

[.: hayat :.]

mummy...cuse she takes care of as and loves us and do much 4 us...

[ze leetle elper]

Just to mention that, until you become a parent you will never fully understand the love your parents can feel fo ryou, even though they may never show it (in some cultues it is taboo to show affection for kids).

But even so, there is always love for that child, when you are a parent and you have those months/ years of difficult nights, of childhood illnesses/ problems, to attend to, feeding your child, changing them, your child being totally dependant on you, you begin to understand the type of love your parents must have for you. No matter how old you are, what you are, where you are in your life, you are still their child that they brought home from the hospital with so many dreams and hopes. For your mother, you are the beacon of light that helpe her thourgh her painful labour. For your father, you are his pride, when he watched you take your first steps, say your first words (dada :D )

So no matter how you feel your relationship with your parents may fluctuate, remember that you are incredibly special and precious to them, even if you do something that angers them.

Even if you cannot relate to anything they have done for you now, think about what they did for you as a child, fed you and nurtured you; it is incumbent on you to repay back with love and respect for your parents :love:

[hanaa_al_muminah]

jzk everyone 4 all ur posts.....

i wud personally say both..................

my dad and me were REALLY close between 9/10-16........he gave me so much advice about boys n teenage life etc etc etc...

n if it wernt 4 my dad i wudnt have been allowed out the house, alhamdillah my dad understood about right n freedom and giving ur child space n responsibility,alhamdillah, even though he wwas strict about eduaction....:).

my mum n me wer NEVER CLOSE until i got to the age of 16/17,,,since then alhamdillah wev been gettin closer n we have learnt alot about each other, especially me about her...n it feels gr8 to know that......coz most of my frens r like living their own life, either away living in uni campus or jus stay out l8.....may Allah guide them..ameen.....

there is this sister that my mum knows her son goes to oxford uni n hes studying medicine..masha'allah..but he never calls or cums ova...even his siblings sumx 4get they hav an older bro.......soo bad....n his parents cry over the phone coz they dnt no wer he is.,,,,etc etc.....sumx i think wat is the point of education if its not helpin u wiv ur eeman or deen???.......


its so important 4 us to know our parents n their past n wat they went through 4 us, otherwise how can we be thankful?????

also, remember our mother has 3/4 right for our companionship and our father 1/4.....and paradise lies underneath our mothers feet.....

im reminding myself b4 i remind any of u !!!!!!!!!1 :)

[Medievalist]

Mum.

[ummbilal]

Why are we asking ourselves this question?

I would hate to hear my children prefer me over my husband or visa versa,

[Noor_Usman]

I see your point sister - but the phenonminon (sp?) of Mummy's boys and Daddy's girls are already well known :D So inshallah it wont cause any offence.

I admit maybe I was a bit harsh :o but it's true. The women in my family are very selfish and absorbed in the Dunya :( The men are cool though :up:

[UmmAayman]

well i LOVE my mum a lot she raised me single handedly and alhumdulilah lets me practice my religion without getting in my way or making comments

i never knew my dad untill about 1 1/2 yrs ago. i finally found him. he was a buddhist at the time but now alhumdulilah since august has been a practicing muslim so we have such a strong bond.

hmm i don't know i really lothem both for different things.:up:

[hanaa_al_muminah]

well i LOVE my mum a lot she raised me single handedly and alhumdulilah lets me practice my religion without getting in my way or making comments

i never knew my dad untill about 1 1/2 yrs ago. i finally found him. he was a buddhist at the time but now alhumdulilah since august has been a practicing muslim so we have such a strong bond.

hmm i don't know i really lothem both for different things.:up:

awwwwwwww...masha'allah that is soo beautiful!!!!May Allah keep us all firm and steadfast in this deeen...ameen:inlove:

[Raziel]

My father before a certain age, now neither of them.

People go on and on about love your mum, respect your mum, how a bond between mother and child is the greatest thing ever, but then again people say alot of things that turn out to be old wives tales.:(

We are not surprised, this is the Result of Following Secularistic Lifestyles ...

We on the Other hand respect and Love our Parents, especially our Mothers for the Hardship they went through giving Birth, and bringing us up ...

your situation may be different though ...

[Raziel]

well i LOVE my mum a lot she raised me single handedly and alhumdulilah lets me practice my religion without getting in my way or making comments

i never knew my dad untill about 1 1/2 yrs ago. i finally found him. he was a buddhist at the time but now alhumdulilah since august has been a practicing muslim so we have such a strong bond.

hmm i don't know i really lothem both for different things.:up:

Ditto to the Former, Uklthi,

I Love my father for the Effort he has out in raising a living for the Family, and the fact that he always thinks about the Future in advance of others ...

:jkk:

[makkah2madinah]

both.i love my mum and dad equally:inlove: but my mum understands me more.

[hanaa_al_muminah]

i love my mother for all her patience and time
i love my mother for her unconditional care
i love my mother for her beautiful food
i love my mother for all her hardwork to raise 5 kids, that I witnessed and have nothing but 100% RESPECT, ya habibti

i love my mother for always being there
i love my mother for not ever EVER leaving us with a babysitter
i love my mother for her companionship
i love my mother for her warm smile that shines into my heart

i love my mother for every time she carried the shopping home alone(while we were at school)with alot of heavy bags, that hurt her hands and back,
i love my mother for always thinking about us, before herself
i love my mother for the mercy and kindness she had towards us when we were small and helpless and even NOW!
i love my mother for never giving up when life got hard, she kept striving no matter what!

i love my mother for showing me how a woman should have adab
i love my mother for always being strong and brave
i love my mother because she is my SPECIAL angel, and I love her sooooooooooooooooo much
'oh Allah bestow ur mercy upon my special mum even as she cherished me when I was little' ameeen

[your sister]

I know that it's sounds strange,but I love more my grandma and grandfa,just because my parents aren't real muslims. I wished that was'nt true........:(

[WahYaLookin'At?]

I know that it's sounds strange,but I love more my grandma and grandfa,just because my parents aren't real muslims. I wished that was'nt true........:(

Awwww.

I'm closest to pops, :lahawla:

:lailah: But I love mom azwell.