im totally confuse

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

[Riceball]

The family proposal came first, so by islamic law, the second proposal is invalid. It is HARAM for a man to propose to a girl, after a borther already proposed to her. *as long as she didn't reject him*

:)

[Nazias]

The family proposal came first, so by islamic law, the second proposal is invalid. It is HARAM for a man to propose to a girl, after a borther already proposed to her. *as long as she didn't reject him*

:)

Where in 'Islamic law' does it say that?

[muhammed_1428]

Well, she is wondering whether or not to reject the first proposal then!

Sis - don't measure your groom by their income or salary or qualifications - of course Alhamdulilah an MBA banker makes me think well done! On the other hand, focus on what your istikhara results are - you didnt really mention these...

Maybe you should consult your elder sis and bro just for advice - it wont hurt right?

All the best with it

[Le Croyant]

do u prefer one over the other?

[Riceball]

Where in 'Islamic law' does it say that?

It was in one of my Fiqh lessons over 10 years ago. I will look it up and get back to you! :)

[Kubs]

The family proposal came first, so by islamic law, the second proposal is invalid. It is HARAM for a man to propose to a girl, after a borther already proposed to her. *as long as she didn't reject him*

:)

What? :eek3:

[Riceball]

"It is likewise forbidden to the Muslim to propose to a woman who is already betrothed to a brother Muslim; the one whose proposal has already been accepted has acquired a right which must be safeguarded in consideration of goodwill and affection among people, especially among his brother Muslims. However, if the first suitor terminates his betrothal or gives the second suitor his permission, there is no harm in proceeding with it."

http://www.zawaj.com/qaradawi/marriage.html

Edit: Since her father was happy, I am making the assumption that proposal was accepted. Otherwise, the man wouldve got rejected and looked for another wife.

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Well, she is wondering whether or not to reject the first proposal then!

Sis - don't measure your groom by their income or salary or qualifications - of course Alhamdulilah an MBA banker makes me think well done! On the other hand, focus on what your istikhara results are - you didnt really mention these...

Maybe you should consult your elder sis and bro just for advice - it wont hurt right?

All the best with it

bro & sis .. say we have nothing to do with it as it would be totally ur own decision.. there is no one who can guide.. except ALLAH .. i also want to know ummah's brothers sisters opinion....

[Muslimah_Pearl]

The family proposal came first, so by islamic law, the second proposal is invalid. It is HARAM for a man to propose to a girl, after a borther already proposed to her. *as long as she didn't reject him*

:)

i was unware of it... :rubeyes:

[Riceball]

i was unware of it... :rubeyes:

Now you know! :up:

[Kubs]

i was unware of it... :rubeyes:

I wouldn't listen to him sister. Ask someone more knowledgable.

As for making up your mind....remember these two men aren't your ONLY option. You don't have to CHOOSE between them...you don't have to PICK one of them.

If you don't feel inclined to marry either...then simply say no.

If you like both of them...then do Istikara. Get a pen and piece of paper and weigh out their good and bad qualities. :up:

[Muslimah_Pearl]

i done istaikhara several times and positive signs for both... in this situation .how can i decide...

[Kal-El]

You can't have two proposals at the same time. A brother cannot approach you if you already have a proposal. You have to consider the first one first. Is he a good enough man for you to marry? If so, marry him.

You have to look at it from that way, its only fair because he asked first.

[MMS]

the graduate banker might have work related to riba that might be haraam which will make his earning haraam and in turn everything you possess haraam :eek:

[Le Croyant]

yes, u can't have two proposals at the same time. But since u do... decide what's u r going to do abt the first one. if u don't want that then go for the 2nd one.

[Riceball]

I wouldn't listen to him sister. Ask someone more knowledgable.


Allahuma ini balaghat

[Kubs]

Allahuma ini balaghat

Sorry I didn't mean to say you weren't knowledgable. I'm sure you are Mashallah :)

I think that instead of asking Islamic question on a forum....especially one that concerns making an important decision....she should ask an imam...not some random person from the net.

Personally what you said doesn't make sense to me. I've never heard of it before so it came as a suprise. If two men proposed to her....she shouldn't have to refuse the second guy, simply because the other brother came first. It's an important decision and if she genuinely likes both of them....then she should weigh out their good and bad qualities. Who is more into their deen? Which one has the better character?

On the other hand, if she did accept the first proposal...then it isn't acceptable for her to even CONSIDER the second brother.

[bint]

Guys she isnt even bethrothed to him. She is deciding so its not haram. She is deciding..

she hasnt even decided which guy she wants to consider

That means the 3 proposals one gets is totally haram. weird.

[Z-Blade]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

:wswrwb:,

As the brother said:

The family proposal came first, so by islamic law, the second proposal is invalid. It is HARAM for a man to propose to a girl, after a borther already proposed to her. *as long as she didn't reject him*

:)

Plus an MBA banker sounds haram to me, unless he isn't working with riba at all?! And even then, working in a bank is detested. But you have to go with the first proposal Islamically anyway, so you have to either accept or reject this first proposal before you can even consider the second one.

The Prophet :saw: said:
“A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the
proposal.”

So whichever came FIRST - no matter if by seconds :p - you would have to consider that one first. And Allah knows best.

Wassalam.

[Maureen]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....
My thoughts are,- take the one you love, regardless of what anyone else says.

[Al-Farooq]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmatullah.

Try not to let the second proposal confuse matters sis, you have to deal with the first proposal and judge that brother on his merits alone, rather than by comparing him with the second brother who proposed, because comparing the brothers will just leave you confused....as it seems to be doing already.

Look at the merits of the first brother - judge him be his adherence to the deen first and foremost, don't let his occupation and education be the focus of your decision. When you pray istikhara, focus on this brother alone, rather than focusing on which brother would be the better option. It's not a choice, it's two entirely separate decisions.

After religious matters, look at his character; do you think you will be compatible insha'Allah? Do you share similar aspirations for the future (kids, etc.)? Do you think this brother will have a positive effect on your deen insha'Allah and, therefore, improve you as a Muslim?

Finally, remember that you don't have to marry either of these brothers. If you reject the first brother, for whatever reason, it doesn't mean you have to accept the other brother by default. If you reject the first brother, judge the second brother in the same way also, by his merits, rather than by comparison with the first brother. If the second brother also doesn't meet your expectations, then decline his proposal as well.

I'm sure you will get plenty more proposals in the future, so don't rush your decision and please don't think you have to choose one of these brothers, because you don't.

All the best, sis. Barak'Allahu feeki. :)

[Muslimah_Pearl]

My thoughts are,- take the one you love, regardless of what anyone else says.

but sister this is not the case in my siutuation.. :)

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmatullah.

Try not to let the second proposal confuse matters sis, you have to deal with the first proposal and judge that brother on his merits alone, rather than by comparing him with the second brother who proposed, because comparing the brothers will just leave you confused....as it seems to be doing already.

Look at the merits of the first brother - judge him be his adherence to the deen first and foremost, don't let his occupation and education be the focus of your decision. When you pray istikhara, focus on this brother alone, rather than focusing on which brother would be the better option. It's not a choice, it's two entirely separate decisions.

After religious matters, look at his character; do you think you will be compatible insha'Allah? Do you share similar aspirations for the future (kids, etc.)? Do you think this brother will have a positive effect on your deen insha'Allah and, therefore, improve you as a Muslim?

Finally, remember that you don't have to marry either of these brothers. If you reject the first brother, for whatever reason, it doesn't mean you have to accept the other brother by default. If you reject the first brother, judge the second brother in the same way also, by his merits, rather than by comparison with the first brother. If the second brother also doesn't meet your expectations, then decline his proposal as well.

I'm sure you will get plenty more proposals in the future, so don't rush your decision and please don't think you have to choose one of these brothers, because you don't.

All the best, sis. Barak'Allahu feeki. :)


first of all thank you for reply... as time i said time is running out.. coz im now 30 years old.. and before many proposals i declined..and now parents are not alive and we are living alone so i have to take a decision..

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Regarding there characters.. (as i came to know.). both are influenced by islam and consider islamic values.

[Raziel]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

:wswrwb:

look for Deen/Al-Islam, and Have Trust in Allah Ta'ala and chose the One that sticks to the Quran and Sunnah the Most, ie praying 5 time Salah, abstaining from Major sins... etc. if you think either of them is applicable and it is your choice...

Ukthi, My Mum, and My Uncle did the same, they told me about my Wife, before marriage, I met her with my nan, and we spoke a little ...

Ultimately it is Your Decision, so no one is permitted to make it for you ...
also especially since we all know about Forced Marriages, our Wali's are now taking extra precaution to not interfere, and allow us to make out own Choices ...

they can only Guide us, the decision has to be made by you ...

:jkk:

[Muslimah_Pearl]

:wswrwb:

look for Deen/Al-Islam, and Have Trust in Allah Ta'ala and chose the One that sticks to the Quran and Sunnah the Most, ie praying 5 time Salah, abstaining from Major sins... etc. if you think either of them is applicable and it is your choice...

Ukthi, My Mum, and My Uncle did the same, they told me about my Wife, before marriage, I met her with my nan, and we spoke a little ...

Ultimately it is Your Decision, so no one is permitted to make it for you ...
also especially since we all know about Forced Marriages, our Wali's are now taking extra precaution to not interfere, and allow us to make out own Choices ...

they can only Guide us, the decision has to be made by you ...

:jkk:


thanks for reply brother..

but at this stage of my life i came to know that how weak i am to make a decision... this is first time in my life im feeling in such a way.... i really miss my parents at the moment ..

[Raziel]

thanks for reply brother..

but at this stage of my life i came to know that how weak i am to make a decision... this is first time in my life im feeling in such a way.... i really miss my parents at the moment ..

:salams Ukthi,

If you feel your in a good state of mind to make decisions, then take everything Halal and Most important (Deen) into consideration, and make your choice otherwise its up to you sis ...

as My Parents are still with me, I can't say I understand totally how you feel, but I nearly lost my dad a few times when he has Bypass Surgery and a Stroke, so I have some degree of understanding as to how I would feel if Both my parents passed away ...

May Allah Ta'ala grant my sister to make the Right decision, and grant her a Pious Muttaqeen Spouse who looks after all her needs according to the Quran and Sunnah of Rasulullah :saw: and in whom Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala is well pleased with ...

Ameen!

:jkk:

[~Warda~]

Well first of all sis, make a decision about the first proposal. (Forget the second one for now). Is he steadfast in his deen? Does he have a good character? Also, since he is from family, im sure it'll be easier to find out what kind of person he is. Then do istikhara. If it comes out positive then go for it...if not then concider proposal number two. I would also strongly advise u not to go for proposal number two simply because he is a banker and has a high salary etc. I think u also mentioned that your dad liked the first proposal? Just remember, parents always want whats best for their children...

May Allah help you and grant you a pious husband. Ameen.

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Well first of all sis, make a decision about the first proposal. (Forget the second one for now). Is he steadfast in his deen? Does he have a good character? Also, since he is from family, im sure it'll be easier to find out what kind of person he is. Then do istikhara. If it comes out positive then go for it...if not then concider proposal number two. I would also strongly advise u not to go for proposal number two simply because he is a banker and has a high salary etc. I think u also mentioned that your dad liked the first proposal? Just remember, parents always want whats best for their children...

May Allah help you and grant you a pious husband. Ameen.

Dear sis as u said dont go for his salary.. really sister im not at all after it, ya but i admit, education matters to me..(also i came to know the banker wants to quit his job as he thinks riba involves in it )

u r right sis parents always want whats best for thier children.. i really need prayers . that ALLAH give me strength to make a decision... :nervous:

[Neurostyler]

How about neither? Pick someone you feel sure about.

[`asiya]

as the brothers have stated and they are correct, as per the hadith of the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam it is haram for a brother to propose to a woman , when a brother has already given his proposal, until she rejects the first man or he decides to withdraw his proposal. ukhti u have to decide to accept or reject the first brother before even thinking about accepting any other proposals. so forget all about the second brother wipe him from your mind, and make your decision based soley on how u feel about accepting this first brother who proposed insha Allah.

may Allah make it easy for u amin.

[Umm 'Umarah]

You can recieve marriage proposals from more than one person and look into them, it's only when two brothers who happen to know each other, who are interested in the same sister that one (brother) should withdraw the proposal, and the sister should only look into or reject one before pursuing the other. it's inevitable that a women should get more than one proposal, but it's a matter of how far the sister takes it, that she should let the other one know that she is interested in someone elsewhere.

Sister, you should go for the one who is more practising and trustworthy out of the two, make istikharah again, if the matter is still unclear, you need to think clearly about who out of the two you're more inclined towards. then put your trust in Allah and accept one or neither of them.

[Umm 'Umarah]

There is an explanation of the hadith in this fatwa, in your case you haven't answered either way, so it is permitted.

http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=2450&ln=eng

[GKM]

[quote=Kubs;2421833]Sorry I didn't mean to say you weren't knowledgable. I'm sure you are Mashallah :)

I think that instead of asking Islamic question on a forum....especially one that concerns making an important decision....she should ask an imam...not some random person from the net.

I would not recomend IMAM :hidban:
Imam may advise her to reject all proposal and marry to him (imam) :coolbro:
some imams are not safe to ask this type of questions

[Mullah_Din]

[quote=Kubs;2421833]

I would not recomend IMAM :hidban:
Imam may advise her to reject all proposal and marry to him (imam) :coolbro:
some imams are not safe to ask this type of questions

Please do NOT undermine the Ulama.

My advise to you, sister, would be that the Ulama clearly state that there is an Islamic Perspective of seeking a spouse.

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radi Allah Anho) says that the Holy Prophet, Hadhrat Muhammad-ur Rasulullaah (Sallaallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, that, 'Men choose women for four reasons: 1) for their money, 2) for their rank, 3) for their beauty and 4) for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed.' (Bukhaari & Muslim).

This of course, also applies to women.

However, religion it seems, is not always foremost in the minds of many people. In fact, it's probably the last factor on too many Muslims' list.

Parents have a DUTY and a tremendous responsibility in the process. They SHOULD: (In your case, its different as your parents are not alive - sorry)

a. suggest good character individuals as prospective spouses
b. thoroughly screen and check proposals, call references
c. act as the third party between the two candidates

The Holy Qur'an clearly states that, 'Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity.' (Holy Qur'an 24:26)

The Holy Prophet, Hadhrat Muhammad-ur Rasulullaah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion (Din) and character.

A Hadith outlines that there are, 'Three groups of people Allah Taa'la has obliged Himself to help them: Mujaahid in the cause of Allah Taa'la, a worker to pay his debt and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life'. (Tirmidhi)

All the best, dear sister!

Wassalaam,

[toufeeq]

Dear sis as u said dont go for his salary.. really sister im not at all after it, ya but i admit, education matters to me..(also i came to know the banker wants to quit his job as he thinks riba involves in it )

u r right sis parents always want whats best for thier children.. i really need prayers . that ALLAH give me strength to make a decision... :nervous:

Well is he adamant about quitting his job with RIBA? (RIBA jobs = NO barakah in the home) And what about the first choice? Would he have no problem earning a job with RIBA? Is he religious?

Sister do this:

1) Ask yourself why am I choosing between these two men can I really settle down with any of them?

2) Pray istakhara for 7 days straight try to pray at these times:

a) between thuhr and asr on jummah day
b) Tahajjaud
c) A nice mosque that you barely go to
d) After Isha and when you are the calmes
e) divorce your mind from being attached to either of them
f) give sadaqa, give sadaqa (and it can be small amounts) then make your dua

salam,

toufeeq

[Umm_Hanzalah]

Fatimah Bint Qays received 2 proposals as well, and if they don't know about each others proposals, how can that be haraam?

Fatima bint Qais reported that Abu 'Amr b. Hafs divorced her absolutely when he was away from home, and he sent his agent to her with some barley.She was displeased with him and when he said: I swear by Allah that you have no claim on us. she went to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and mentioned that to him. He said: There is no maintenance due to you from him, and he commanded her to spend the 'Idda in the house of Umm Sharik, but then said: That is a woman whom my companions visit. So better spend this period in the house of Ibn Umm Maktum, for he is a blind man and yon can put off your garments. And when the 'Idda is over, inform me. She said: When my period of 'Idda was over, I mentioned to him that Mu'awiya b. Abu Sufyan and Jahm had sent proposal of marriage to me, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: As for Abu Jahm, he does not put down his staff from his shoulder, and as for Mu'awiya, he is a poor man having no property; marry Usama b. Zaid.I objected to him, but he again said: Marry Usama; so I married him.Allah blessed there in and I was envied (by others). Muslim; Book 9; 3512

You can also learn about what kind of spouse you should seek from this hadith, i.e. someone who is not of a harsh nature (this is preferable regardless of his knowledge of fiqh), someone who has means to support you (obviously not haraam), and of course deen comes first and after that character/manners (kindness, consideration etc) are extremely important.

I also found this on Islamqa:

Question:
Does a brother has any legal bond on a sister he has intentions to Marry? What I actually mean is: a brother is interested in a sister and wants to marry her, however, another brother wants to marry her also but he does not want to engage her as yet (Kitbah). because one brother wants to marry the sister does that mean that the other brother should stay away?

Answer:

If a person has proposed marriage to a woman, it is not permitted for anyone else to offer a proposal to her, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).

There follow quotations from Ibn Hijr’s commentary which will shed more light on the matter:

The majority of scholars said: This amounts to a prohibition… The Shaafi’is and Hanbalis said: it is prohibited when the woman proposed to, or her appointed guardian, has stated that she accepts the offer, but if she has stated that she rejects this offer, it is not prohibited. If the second man does not know the situation, then he is permitted to propose marriage, because the basic principle is that proposing marriage is something permitted… If the woman has not answered either way, it is permitted. Al-Tirmidhi reported from al-Shaafi’i that the meaning of the hadeeth is: if a man proposes to a woman and she likes him and accepts, no-one else should propose to her after that, but if he (the second man) does not know that she liked and accepted that proposal, there is nothing wrong with his proposing to her. The evidence for this is the story of Faatimah bint Qays, who did not tell (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) that she had accepted the proposal of one (of two men who had proposed to her). If she had told him, he would not have advised her to marry someone other than the one she had chosen. If there is no word of acceptance or rejection from the woman, some of the Shaafi’is say that it is definitely permitted… Al-Shaafi’i said that in the case of a virgin, her silence indicates her acceptance of a suitor.

The hadeeth was interpretated as meaning that if the first man to propose gives permission to the second, it is no longer prohibited for him to propose. … It was reported from Ibn al-Qaasim, the companion of Maalik, that if the first suitor is immoral, a chaste man is permitted to propose over his proposal. Ibn al-‘Arabi said that this was correct… This is applicable if the woman is chaste, because an immoral man would not be compatible for her, and his proposal would be like no proposal at all.

The phrase “until he marries her”* means until the first suitor has gone ahead and married her, so that anyone else will realize that there is no longer any point in proposing; “or gives up” means that the first suitor decides not to go ahead, in which case it is permitted for the second to offer his proposal.

* Please note these words are in another Rewaaya…

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

[mohammad16]

salam sisterrrr


hmmm well dont look at the education as the primary factor and dont obsess too much over family

look at the guys heart, is there someone u could get to know more bout him?

u know theres sisters who always keep saying, OMGGGG i want a namazi,

sure we all want a religious spouse

but its hard to judge if a persons religious

u cant jus tell by him having a baerd or paying salat

u have to get to know him somehow, maybe through a freind

and try to judge how strong is the connection between this person and Allah first and foremost

anyways what im tryna say is do more resaerch

and dont worry, if these go by, inshallah u will receive moree

just try ur best and leave the rest to Allah and also pray

[toufeeq]

salam sisterrrr


hmmm well dont look at the education as the primary factor and dont obsess too much over family

look at the guys heart, is there someone u could get to know more bout him?

u know theres sisters who always keep saying, OMGGGG i want a namazi,

sure we all want a religious spouse

but its hard to judge if a persons religious

u cant jus tell by him having a baerd or paying salat

u have to get to know him somehow, maybe through a freind

and try to judge how strong is the connection between this person and Allah first and foremost

anyways what im tryna say is do more resaerch

and dont worry, if these go by, inshallah u will receive moree

just try ur best and leave the rest to Allah and also pray




Most def!

[Lambo5688]

Marry the more religious one.

[perfectpearl]

Follow your heart.... make itskara and follow your heart

[mohabdul]

Follow what would please Allah (swt). It is that simple.

[Muujahid]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

WHAT DO U KNOW ABOUT THESE 2 MEN?

MAKE UR DECISION W/ THEIR DEEN AND NOT WHO PROPOSED 1ST.

[nadzz]

Salam alikum

I got two proposals at same time.. one from family and one outside family. problem is that im still not able to make any decision..my parents are not alive:( thats why i have to decide by myself.. my elder sis n bro don't want to interfere as they say its entirely my decision.. i have to decide as i have to live life..

person from family is not much educated and the other one is MBA graduate banker..

i done istaikhara many times but still im confuse ..i dont know what to do :(

when my father was alive he was in favour of family proposal ..the 2nd proposal came after he passed away...

what should i do? and time is running out....

Asaaalm a liqum sister,


So whom you get married :D

Jazakallah

[abuzayd]

This is just a bit of general advise. A bit related to your post.

Choosing a marriage partner is like a chance to choose the kind of life you want to live.

You have to first ask yourself, how do i desire to live. what are my goals? i.e what are the things most important to me. a car, the deen, constant companionship...

when you find that out, you then ask, which of the people can i achieve my life goals with. i think that then simplifies the issue.

Of course you have to ask the suitors necessary questions to find out how they match your goals.

Yeah i've said this, its not like i'm not in a dilemma myself on a similar issue. God help moi:o

Secondly, those qouting the hadith. Yes i've heard it and its true but how does the second brother know that someone has already proposed. Its just in the sister's hands to consider the first person and decide if she wants him or not but ofcourse she should tell the second brother about the first proposal and the possible outcome.

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Asaaalm a liqum sister,


So whom you get married :D

Jazakallah

Soon sis im going to make decision (in light of all replies) and ill let know all of you...inshALLAH

[miss-islamic]

Religiousness does always translate to good person. Marrying outside of family is generally more challenging. Make sure you know the family and they are good people too (along with the guy). :)
It’s funny how these type of decisions can change the whole direction ones life is going to take. A new family…

[Muslimah_Pearl]

Religiousness does always translate to good person. Marrying outside of family is generally more challenging. Make sure you know the family and they are good people too (along with the guy). :)
It’s funny how these type of decisions can change the whole direct ones life is going to take. A new family…


yes sis you are right... marrying out side family is more challenging.. and this is always holding me back to make decision.. as i think it would be too risky..