View Full Version : Dating justified?
:salams
Many a times i have noticed people involved in 'relationships'...seem to reason their actions by saying that they are going to get married...like as if dating has been 'worthwhile' because they are getting married..
Marriage is such a blessed thing and its sad to see so many entering it tainted..
Lord Summerisle
10-02-08, 12:27 PM
:salams
Many a times i have noticed people involved in 'relationships'...seem to reason their actions by saying that they are going to get married...like as if dating has been 'worthwhile' because they are getting married..
Marriage is such a blessed thing and its sad to see so many entering it tainted..
I agree, marriage is sacred. So shouldn't both people be absolutely sure about it before getting married? Is getting to know the other person prior to marriage a bad thing?
I agree, marriage is sacred. So shouldn't both people be absolutely sure about it before getting married? Is getting to know the other person prior to marriage a bad thing?
no one said its a bad thing. but theres a way to go about doing it.
I agree, marriage is sacred. So shouldn't both people be absolutely sure about it before getting married? Is getting to know the other person prior to marriage a bad thing?
I agree but you can never be absolutely sure! about anything for that matter..getting to know one another is permissible within its boundaries...but how much of that do we see nowadays?...
muhammed_1428
10-02-08, 01:18 PM
As someone whose previously been in one of these 'relationships' I can tell you it isn't a good thing - and I fooled myself into thinking it would be.
LS is right - you do have to get toknow each other considerably unless you have a lot of trust in your own faith or patience, but as Gucci mentioned, there are proper ways of doing this - supervision with a mahram is not a bad thing, and its not like the mahram has to hear every single word that is mentioned in the series of conversations that take place to compare likes, dislikes and other intentions.
When engaged in a relationship like this, its almost inevitable you'll fall into zina, and whats more sad is that its incredibly difficult to let go once its been established by the parents that its not going to happen, usually due to cultural dfferences.
It is sad - but I wouldn't call a marriage resulting from this as tainted personally - if both partners realise what they were doing was wrong, and made sufficient Istikhara for their marriage to be encouraged - then Insha'allah they may repent and seek to educate the next generation regarding what had been done wrong so that no one else may fall into the same traps... Should they fall that is :p
:salams
Many a times i have noticed people involved in 'relationships'...seem to reason their actions by saying that they are going to get married...like as if dating has been 'worthwhile' because they are getting married..
Marriage is such a blessed thing and its sad to see so many entering it tainted..
Dating is haram in islam
you can read it from here:
http://www.muttaqun.com/dating.html
Dating
The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ma'idah 5:5
...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ...
Being alone with a non-mahram
Hadith - Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab , Tirmidhi transmitted it.
The Prophet :saw: said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403, Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the house of Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr also entered (and she was at that time his wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of it and he made a mention of that to Allah's Messenger and said: I did not see but good only (in my wife).
Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: Verily Allah has made her immune from all this. Then Allah's Messenger stood on the pulpit and said: After this day no man should enter the house of another person in his absence, but only when he is accompanied by one person or two persons.
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5399, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah
Allah's Messenger said: Behold, no person should spend the night with a married woman, but only in case he is married to her or he is her Mahram.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3119, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah
The Prophet :saw: said, "Do not visit women whose husbands are away from home, for the Devil circulates in you like your blood." He was asked if this applied to him also and said, "To me also, but Allah has helped me against him so that I may be safe." [Tirmidhi transmitted it.]
Fatawa on Phone Usage
Question: What is the ruling concerning a young man who is not married speaking to a young lady who is also not married over the telephone?
Response: It is not allowed to speak with a non-related woman with any speech that stirs desires, such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft manner. This is not allowed whether it is over the telephone or otherwise. Allah has said,
"Be not soft in speech, lest those in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" (al-Ahzab 32).
There is no harm in casual speech due to some need if it is free from any sort of evil. However, such speech must be restricted to only what is necessary.
Shaikh ibn Jibreen
Note: "what is necessary" does not include emotional desires or 'needs'. This is referring to accomplishing things that are necessary and cannot be avoided, i.e. there is no appropriate person available to talk to in order to accomplish the needed goal or item. For instance, speaking with a doctor or mechanic, store clerk to inquire as to a price, etc., is that which is necessary. Socializing is not considered that which is necessary, even in the workplace
no one said its a bad thing. but theres a way to go about doing it.
Agreed.:up:
Non-Muslims date, and in America the divorce rates are around 50%. Anyone able to explain that?
$HugoBoss$
10-02-08, 09:17 PM
Non-Muslims date, and in America the divorce rates are around 50%. Anyone able to explain that?
Has nothing to do with dating.
mizfissy815
10-02-08, 11:47 PM
Agreed.:up:
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-8730519272544183474
Um_yusuf
10-02-08, 11:55 PM
no one said its a bad thing. but theres a way to go about doing it.
sis
its not allowed, it is a bad thing,there is no right way to go about it
dating is not justified in any way shape or form whatsoever.
Baybars
11-02-08, 12:10 AM
I agree, marriage is sacred. So shouldn't both people be absolutely sure about it before getting married? Is getting to know the other person prior to marriage a bad thing?
You don't have to date to get to know, but you can date if you want to test the merchandise and then if you decide you don't like it, you can just throw it aside. Not very respectful I might add. Definitely not sanctioned by Islam.
Rosalie-Beauty
11-02-08, 12:22 AM
Non-Muslims date, and in America the divorce rates are around 50%. Anyone able to explain that?
The reason divorce rates are so high is because most Americans dont take marrige seriously. They date for a couple months and get married. Even divorce is not such a big deal to them. I have heard many say,"Well if it does'nt work out, I can just divorce him/her." I have also see that even after divorce many ex-spouses still stay "friends"
Has nothing to do with dating.
Why do people date? To find the "one". And in a society like in America where dating is culture, you'd think they'd have found the "one" but no - half marriages end in divorce.
I'm not saying divorces and dating are linked, but the concept that you have to date to find the right spouse isn't true.
LastFriday
11-02-08, 12:45 PM
Dating is pointless.
~Warda~
11-02-08, 02:19 PM
Dating is pointless.
Agreed.
sis
its not allowed, it is a bad thing,there is no right way to go about it
dating is not justified in any way shape or form whatsoever.
u should go back and see who's post i was replying to.
:smack: u dont need 2 date 2 get 2 know sum1 ppl
:buttkick:
Agreed.
sister i like your display pic....
i like the 3baya in that pic...
and if you know any think that where i can buy it then please tell me
jazakALLAH khairan
:salams
Many a times i have noticed people involved in 'relationships'...seem to reason their actions by saying that they are going to get married...like as if dating has been 'worthwhile' because they are getting married..
Marriage is such a blessed thing and its sad to see so many entering it tainted..
no justification for dating.
I love spending nice quiet evenings with healthy plump dates...you can even buy them these days.
You can buy anything these days.
I love spending nice quiet evenings with healthy plump dates...you can even buy them these days.
You can buy anything these days.
dates are great. i can hav like 10 of them in one sitting. they make good snacks too :love:
:salams
Many a times i have noticed people involved in 'relationships'...seem to reason their actions by saying that they are going to get married...like as if dating has been 'worthwhile' because they are getting married..
Marriage is such a blessed thing and its sad to see so many entering it tainted..
Indeed!
Zina and acts leading towards Zina (the footsteps of the Shaytan) cannot be Justified, except by the Perverted ...
:jkk:
dates are great. i can hav like 10 of them in one sitting. they make good snacks too :love:
snacks? :scratch: :scratch:
watcha on about GuCcI - mummy forgot to give you your medication?
lool, yea, dates are lurrvely, lovelier than a real imagined date could be....
$HugoBoss$
12-02-08, 05:21 AM
Why do people date? To find the "one". And in a society like in America where dating is culture, you'd think they'd have found the "one" but no - half marriages end in divorce.
I'm not saying divorces and dating are linked, but the concept that you have to date to find the right spouse isn't true.
Two words "physical pleasure"
Um_yusuf
12-02-08, 01:57 PM
u should go back and see who's post i was replying to.
sorry sis didnt mean to offend u, but as the thread was about dating, i assumed you were talking about tht
anyway apologies for any misunderstanding:)
LastFriday
12-02-08, 07:34 PM
sister i like your display pic....
i like the 3baya in that pic...
and if you know any think that where i can buy it then please tell me
jazakALLAH khairan
That abaya...I don't think theres even a spot to see out of! :rubeyes:
Ibn Sina
13-02-08, 03:55 AM
Has nothing to do with dating.
I dun know man, seems like a def correlation there to me ....
~Warda~
15-02-08, 10:28 AM
That abaya...I don't think theres even a spot to see out of! :rubeyes:
Oh there is...I mean if there wasnt she'd be constanly banging into lamposts and trees.
Muslimah_Pearl
15-02-08, 12:11 PM
Dating is totally unislamic and i think it is just an lame excuse to say that ppl want to know each other..
Dain Bramaged
15-02-08, 12:48 PM
Dating is totally unislamic and i think it is just an lame excuse to say that ppl want to know each other..
I agree, instead you should spend 'quality time' with each other :rolleyes:
I think the problem is in alot of cultures.. Getting married is so hard! People sometimes need to be feel like they are loved, and feel like they need to be in a relationship. Your expected to have a car/house/enough money.. How is that possible until your about 26/28?! Ideally would like to married at 23 insha'Allah, but what is the point if I cant fully support a wife. Quite a sad thing for us muslims actually!
Dating is obviously wrong. All you have to do, is imagine you had a daughter and she was in a relationship with some boy
May Allah forgive everyone who is caught in this trap. Ameen
Khuram_2k?
15-02-08, 01:38 PM
I think the problem is in alot of cultures.. Getting married is so hard! People sometimes need to be feel like they are loved, and feel like they need to be in a relationship. Your expected to have a car/house/enough money.. How is that possible until your about 26/28?! Ideally would like to married at 23 insha'Allah, but what is the point if I cant fully support a wife. Quite a sad thing for us muslims actually!
Dating is obviously wrong. All you have to do, is imagine you had a daughter and she was in a relationship with some boy
May Allah forgive everyone who is caught in this trap. Ameen
whats so hard about supporting a wife? when u get married your family supports you a lot and will help you financially too if needed(well they should anyways:up:). people shouldnt think too deep like finance etc. when they want to get married
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