View Full Version : guy hits his 1˝ year old kid
-Yassar
08-02-08, 02:12 PM
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
:(
explain to him that the kid is just a baby and their bodies are so fragile they cant handle that kind of physicaly pressure wat if something happens and the kid get physicaly hurt or god forbid damaged, then wat? he could get in serious legal trouble.
its important to be patient with children because they dont understand.
stop leaving stuff lying around to the child cant get to it. u dont leave a glass of milk on a low table so he can get to it duhhh u put it on a high counter right. common sense.
his wife should take action and if he has his parents nearby they should be informed. and i guess if he doesnt stop the child should be removed from his care. threaten him with calling child care services. this type of violence on such a small kid shouldnt be tolerated.
.: Anna :.
08-02-08, 02:24 PM
Child that age doesnt have the capacity and understanding not to touch things and mess with them if you leave them close to him. If they do that, its not his fault but parent's fault for leaving within reach... its not correct to hit him at all
Wa-alaikum salaam
:mad: nut job indeed! How about a few of us get together and knock him around abit. What is he an idiot? Does he not realise that the kid is only a kid? He's a year and a half old and hes banging him around as though he's a toy or cushion or something!
He needs a good talking to! Have you tried explaining to him that he is hurting his son? At this age the kid has no understanding of what is right or wrong or what he should be playing with or not- the parent needs to show love and attention. Wheres the mother in all of this?
Is he just not very fatherly or does he get frustrated and stress about other things and then just cant take it when he gets home? Cos in that case he needs to sort out his anger problems. Some sort of anger management wouldnt go amiss!
kids that age can die if they are shaken violently :|
ze leetle elper
08-02-08, 03:08 PM
Phone social services.
Love&Peace
08-02-08, 03:09 PM
Wa-alaikum salaam
:mad: nut job indeed! How about a few of us get together and knock him around abit.
:up:
Phone social services.
wouldnt they take the kid away?? they might put it into care and make it grow up a non-muslim :eek:
ze leetle elper
08-02-08, 03:25 PM
wouldnt they take the kid away?? they might put it into care and make it grow up a non-muslim :eek:
Well it depends, is the mum condoning this behaviour? They could possibly get a restraining order placed on the father, or that he must be supervised when with the child to ensure the childs safety?
muhammed_1428
08-02-08, 03:37 PM
This is child abuse - warn him that if he continues you'll call the proper authorities to have custody in favour of the mother of the child - a strong direct warning is required here, he shouldnt think he can get away with this.
sis_niqabi
08-02-08, 03:51 PM
salam
you know im all for beating your child to discipline them. but 1 1/2? what this dudes problem. the child can't even talk at that age.
if my husband ever hit my 1 1/2. i would beat him right out to the curb
muslimma
08-02-08, 04:05 PM
hmmm...:scratch:
my social instinct tells me that this guys needs help, councelling or something.....although it's a bad thing to beat kids he may have problem that need dealing with...anger management possibly...
should try and explain to him as has been said above...and try and keep the child 'safer' by some means.....possibly kiping child out of his way when he comes home ...
zahra_unknown
08-02-08, 04:06 PM
Thats one of the things that can be the result if you have an anger problem.
May Allah (swt) give the dad sabr!
How could you do that to your own son/ daughter... your own blood?! :(
Pro_Candy
08-02-08, 07:06 PM
wouldnt they take the kid away?? they might put it into care and make it grow up a non-muslim :eek:
At least the kid would live a life without suffering any more brain damage and trauma, from being shaken and beaten.
Call the cops, social services, whatever it takes to get this kid help. As long as you know what's going on, if you sit by and watch it happen, this child will question YOU one day as to why you did nothing to help him.
ummbilal
08-02-08, 07:08 PM
Phone social services.
i am with zee, he could serious damage this baby.
ummbilal
08-02-08, 07:09 PM
wouldnt they take the kid away?? they might put it into care and make it grow up a non-muslim :eek:
or he might be placed with a Muslim family and grow up happy and a good pious muslim, or die at the hands of his violent father.
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
What the guy did is wrong. But disciplining kids even at that age is important. There is a right way of doing it
1 Level
08-02-08, 09:16 PM
ppl like this do not deserve to have children.
wonder how he would feel if someone did that to him.
Brother, I think you should complain immediately. Normally I would advise you to go to the police, but then the kid would be taken away from the parents and put into care. He might end up with a non muslim family which isn't good.
I suggest you go to your local mosque....get an imam or a knowledgable person involved. They need to speak to the father.
Baybars
08-02-08, 10:14 PM
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
That's terrible bro. I'm assuming that you've tried to talk to him since you say you can't get it into this guy's head. I suppose if you and others have tried to reason with him and explained to him that he could seriously hurt his child, and he hasn't listened, then it my be time to threaten him with talking to the authorities, and he could face criminal charges.
It might be that you could get his extended family involved. Sometimes that can be effective, but unfortunately there are a few of us that just don't listen to any reason. I mean if a guy can do that in the first place, to his own child, that in itself speaks volumes about his nature. Then again, he may not realize how risky his behavior is.
The problem is at what point do you step in before it's too late, and without being premature. If it was me and one of my circle of best friends, I'd tell him, his wife and the child's grandparents, extended family etc. that if this doesn't stop and happens again I'm going straight to social services and the kid will get taken away, but that's me. Sometimes people don't want to get involved for fear of being nosey, but this is where I think people have to. Ultimately, a child's well being and life is at stake here.
thetruth
08-02-08, 11:06 PM
:rubeyes:
grab a few of your mates and jump this guy, seriously. he needs a beating.
do you have any influence over this fella?
if you do, convince him its wrong and would maybe go far as saying it is haram since he is hurting this poor baby and the results of his actions can lead to death.
if that fails, speak to his elders. if that fails, film him on your cam phone put it on youtube and send a copy to social service, peolpe like this man should not deserve to have children.
SubhanAllah! A child is a blessing.
May Allah help us to bring up our children in the best way, to become his best servants, who serve the ummah in the best of ways. Ameen.
Um_yusuf
09-02-08, 01:14 AM
:rubeyes:
grab a few of your mates and jump this guy, seriously. he needs a beating.
do you have any influence over this fella?
if you do, convince him its wrong and would maybe go far as saying it is haram since he is hurting this poor baby and the results of his actions can lead to death.
if that fails, speak to his elders. if that fails, film him on your cam phone put it on youtube and send a copy to social service, peolpe like this man should not deserve to have children.
Yep i agree, lets see if he likes to be slammed and shaken, he deserves a good beating!!
How could he do tht to a little baby, his own son, what an animal.:rubeyes:
Bro dnt sit back and watch, the next time he could end up killing this baby! talk to him and if tht doesnt work ask other family members/elders etc to talk to him and if tht doesnt work report him to the police! but do it ASAP!!!
Yep i agree, lets see if he likes to be slammed and shaken, he deserves a good beating!!
How could he do tht to a little baby, his own son, what an animal.:rubeyes:
Bro dnt sit back and watch, the next time he could end up killing this baby! talk to him and if tht doesnt work ask other family members/elders etc to talk to him and if tht doesnt work report him to the police! but do it ASAP!!!
I have to be very careful about reading stuff like this, because it can leave me seriously depressed for several days.
Um Yusuf is 100% correct. This man could very easily end up killing this child or giving him a profound injury to his brain.
This really isn't a topic for idle speculation on the internet.
If this is really happening, you need to act immediately to stop this man from further harming this child.
I don't give a flip if this father has "anger issues." That's no excuse for harming a defenseless child. The father can sort out his "anger issues" when the child is well away from him and in safety.
Please do something immediately.
Cartman
09-02-08, 04:19 AM
who hits a 1.5 year old, that baby can probably barely even walk, let alone know right from wrong.......
do something immediately because the baby's life is in danger....
I still cant believe anyone would beat a 1.5 year old....
how could you look at them and even think of harming that small baby....
somebody needs to call the goon squad on him,roll up on his house and suprise him.....give him a taste of his own medicine....then let the mother have sole custody
dhakiyya
09-02-08, 05:52 AM
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
Worried about a child? Call the NSPCC Child Protection Helpline on 0808 800 5000.
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/
Seriously, that kind of thing could kill or cripple a child that age... their necks are very fragile and their heads are heavy - a severe shaking can cause brain damage. Plus slamming the kid hard against anything (even something soft) can cause concussion. if his kids head accidentally hits something hard that could be a worse story. I have heard several cases where this kind of behaviour/attitude leads to the kid being killed.
btw the nspcc advice line is very good, I used it before because someone I was aquainted with threw his 18 month old kid against a wall.
I used it before because [U]someone I was aquainted with threw his 18 month old kid against a wall.
God help us.
You know, I know that sort of thing happens all the time in the "real world."
But I can't really let that information in. It's too painful. It makes me crazy with rage and despair.
Thank God no one ever did that to any grandchild of mine. I would have killed him with my bare hands.
dhakiyya
09-02-08, 06:02 AM
Also, only the physical damage to a child caused by this behaviour has been commented on. I've worked with severely emotionally disturbed children as a teacher - these kids were teenagers but they had been abused, neglected, abandoned and so on since infancy. The absence of a warm loving parent (or guardian) is utterly devistating. Children need to be loved and cared for, and to feel they are wanted and valued. If the person who is supposed to make them feel loved, wanted and valued is beating them up instead........ seriously, go visit a school for emotionally disturbed children and you can see the results for yourself.
Kids can be rescued though... if the parent changes their behaviour or they are adopted by loving guardians whilst they are still small, the damage can be slowly undone.
The absence of a warm loving parent (or guardian) is utterly devistating.
yeah eh no love from a parent or watever/isolation makes the kid turn into one of those ferral child :rubeyes:
Pro_Candy
09-02-08, 02:50 PM
Brother, I think you should complain immediately. Normally I would advise you to go to the police, but then the kid would be taken away from the parents and put into care. He might end up with a non muslim family which isn't good.
I suggest you go to your local mosque....get an imam or a knowledgable person involved. They need to speak to the father.
Getting this kid away from abuse is more important than anything. Even if it means going to a non-Muslim home. Do you actually think that this abused child will grow up to love Islam, if his abusive father is his role model? Many kids from abusive homes will grow up hating the parent(s) and anything having to do with them.
Getting this kid away from abuse is more important than anything. Even if it means going to a non-Muslim home. Do you actually think that this abused child will grow up to love Islam, if his abusive father is his role model? Many kids from abusive homes will grow up hating the parent(s) and anything having to do with them.
Obviously that's the most important thing - but realistically speaking, is the child better off in a non muslim family?
The father of this kid needs serious anger management. Someone should speak to him. If the mother had any sense, she'd take her child and leave.
*IslamicGirl*
09-02-08, 03:36 PM
:start:
As Salamu alaykum
yea how can I get through to this guys' head not to hit his kid, other than beating him up...
Jahil Muslim who just watches tv when he gets home from work and when his kid is messing about making a mess or anything than he gets mad and slams his kid on the sofa and shakes him real hard and squeezes him... guy is a nut job. The kid is just 1˝ years old.
:wswrwb:
Akhee please do not wait, you need to act immediately.
A child is a gift and not just any gift but a gift from Allah.
This man truly does not appreciate the gift Allah has given him.
How would he like to be in the baby's position?
What is the baby's crime, :sub: it's so sickening.
Where is the mother in this? Is she aware this is happening and if she is, does she know the consequences of her husband's action.
Get elders involved, from the guy's family especially.
It is critical.
:wswrwb:
Pro_Candy
09-02-08, 04:00 PM
Obviously that's the most important thing - but realistically speaking, is the child better off in a non muslim family?
The father of this kid needs serious anger management. Someone should speak to him. If the mother had any sense, she'd take her child and leave.
Realistically speaking, a loving home is better than an abusive one. Personally, I grew up in a non-Muslim home, and was never abused. I was loved by my family, my father NEVER hit me, spanked me, nothing. I turned out to be a good kid who never drank, smoked, didn't have sex before marriage, all that good stuff. So, yeah, I've had the non-Muslim family experience and would prefer this one to an abusive family, Muslim or not.
If anyone does or says anything to the father, he may take it out on the child, hit and shake him harder and more often, and possibly kill him. Therefore, the child needs to be away from the father until and unless he has proven himself to be a fit parent.
Realistically speaking, a loving home is better than an abusive one. Personally, I grew up in a non-Muslim home, and was never abused. I was loved by my family, my father NEVER hit me, spanked me, nothing. I turned out to be a good kid who never drank, smoked, didn't have sex before marriage, all that good stuff. So, yeah, I've had the non-Muslim family experience and would prefer this one to an abusive family, Muslim or not.
If anyone does or says anything to the father, he may take it out on the child, hit and shake him harder and more often, and possibly kill him. Therefore, the child needs to be away from the father until and unless he has proven himself to be a fit parent.
Oh come on….what are the chances that this kid would be sent to a home with parents who don’t drink and follow western habits. Majority of them do drink…they do smoke…and they share different values and beliefs to us Muslims.
I’m not agreeing with the father. Hitting your child is completely wrong and the kid should be nowhere near him. But rather than taking the child to social services, he should be given to a muslim family…or even better…move out with his mum.
-Yassar
09-02-08, 06:17 PM
Don't worry guys, it's not that big of a deal, he doesn't do it everyday, and haven't seen him do it yet. If I do see him do it again, I'll sort him out. Plus that kid is one tough SoP (son of a psycho), and he gets lots of love from rest of the family. I'll give ya'll update if it happens again...
thetruth
09-02-08, 06:34 PM
bruv, has anything happened? has this stopped? please let me know...im very worried for this baby.
Pro_Candy
09-02-08, 11:49 PM
Oh come on….what are the chances that this kid would be sent to a home with parents who don’t drink and follow western habits. Majority of them do drink…they do smoke…and they share different values and beliefs to us Muslims.
I’m not agreeing with the father. Hitting your child is completely wrong and the kid should be nowhere near him. But rather than taking the child to social services, he should be given to a muslim family…or even better…move out with his mum.
Foster/Adoptive parents are usually checked out before being entrusted with a child. Beliefs may be different, but the child will grow up and learn about his/her past, roots, and will explore them. It's human nature.
I'm glad to hear that this child doesn't get abused daily, but really, it only takes ONE time to shake a child and cause permanent damage.
impossiblyblue
10-02-08, 01:12 AM
Just for the record, social services generally does not come swooping in and removing children at the drop of a hat. The reality is they would probably monitor the situation if they felt anything amiss, possibly mandate parentng classes/counseling, and potentially do nothing on the grounds of there being no particular evidence of wrongdoing.
But, if anyone does worry about calling social services on the basis of risking removing a child to a non-muslim home ... well, Allah swt guides who he wills, does he not? Our job is to protect the weak and those who are in need amongst us. In the case of an abused child, don't you think their immediate tangible need of safety trumps imagined long-term needs?
As for it not being a big deal because he doesn't do it every day though ... that kind of sentiment really worries me. Most abused kids aren't physically abused every day. That doesn't make them any less abused though. Please try to get the father appropriate help.
Um_yusuf
10-02-08, 01:14 AM
Don't worry guys, it's not that big of a deal, he doesn't do it everyday, and haven't seen him do it yet. If I do see him do it again, I'll sort him out. Plus that kid is one tough SoP (son of a psycho), and he gets lots of love from rest of the family. I'll give ya'll update if it happens again...
It sometimes doesnt even have to be a very violent shake, for the baby to get hurt or even brain damaged, the next time he does it , could be one too many times and he could seriously hurt the baby, so dnt wait for him to go psycho again. Give him a good talking too asap!
Pro_Candy
10-02-08, 01:50 AM
It sometimes doesnt even have to be a very violent shake, for the baby to get hurt or even brain damaged, the next time he does it , could be one too many times and he could seriously hurt the baby, so dnt wait for him to go psycho again. Give him a good talking too asap!
Agreed except for one thing... this guy needs more than a good talking to. The child could have already experienced brain damage to some degree, but because of his young age, it isn't known. This guy needs jail time, or a good beating at the least. The child needs someone to defend him.
thetruth
10-02-08, 02:02 AM
:torture:
Um_yusuf
10-02-08, 02:05 AM
Agreed except for one thing... this guy needs more than a good talking to. The child could have already experienced brain damage to some degree, but because of his young age, it isn't known. This guy needs jail time, or a good beating at the least. The child needs someone to defend him.
Salaam sis
I agree , the child needs to be looked at by a doctor and his dad needs a good kicking but i said tht in my last post, so i didnt wanna come across as 'too violent':o , mind you a person who can be violent towards his own baby, doesnt deserve leniency.
Pro_Candy
10-02-08, 02:18 AM
Salaam sis
I agree , the child needs to be looked at by a doctor and his dad needs a good kicking but i said tht in my last post, so i didnt wanna come across as 'too violent':o , mind you a person who can be violent towards his own baby, doesnt deserve leniency.
Yeah, I understand totally. I'm not a violent person, but when it comes to abusing children, or men abusing women, that's a whole 'nother story.
Sister-Ameena*
10-02-08, 02:19 AM
:salams Subhan Allaah! I would never lay a finger on my child, inshaa Allaah, just take away a toy. It's more effective, plus it will make them remember such a traumatic experience of the rest of their lives. :(
The answer is simple...tell the guy that the next time that you find out that he has done this to the child, you are going to come back with several of your mates and mop the floor with him to see if he likes it. There is no excuse for any man to do this to a small child except that no one has told him that he can't do it and enforced it.
$HugoBoss$
12-02-08, 05:38 AM
The answer is simple...tell the guy that the next time that you find out that he has done this to the child, you are going to come back with several of your mates and mop the floor with him to see if he likes it. There is no excuse for any man to do this to a small child except that no one has told him that he can't do it and enforced it.
I doubt he has the guts to tell the father that.
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