...marry him. If you do not...

[MFT]

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, quotes the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying, "A woman is married for four things, i.e. her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser."

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil."

[$HugoBoss$]

:confused:

[.: Anna :.]

why confused bro?

[$HugoBoss$]

why confused bro?

So if i don't marry a religious girl i will be a loser?????

[.: Anna :.]

So if i don't marry a religious girl i will be a loser?????

well yeah, the hadith says...
it is about criterea of choosing. so it means if ur getting married and u dont bother to check how is her deen and u dont care if her deen is very bad because u focused instead on her beauty or wealth etc, then u will end up regreting that and u will be a loser. you have to try to have someone who does respect the religion. Not everyone has to marry a scholar or hafidh, it doesnt mean that.. but check out how is their deen when u are considering for marriage

[$HugoBoss$]

well yeah, the hadith says...
it is about criterea of choosing. so it means if ur getting married and u dont bother to check how is her deen and u dont care if her deen is very bad because u focused instead on her beauty or wealth etc, then u will end up regreting that and u will be a loser. you have to try to have someone who does respect the religion. Not everyone has to marry a scholar or hafidh, it doesnt mean that.. but check out how is their deen when u are considering for marriage

Some people become religious or concentrate on their deen after marriage??? My sister for example started wearing the hijab after she got engaged and so forth. So i don't agree with that 100% because i know several people who aren't married to pious women and they are not losers, thats just silly to say.

Many people realize how important it is to be a practicing muslim after marriage and would you say those people are losers as well?????

There's no set date or time to when a muslim practices the deen now is there????

[GuCcI]

There's no set date or time to when a muslim practices the deen now is there????

puberty?

[.: Anna :.]

brother its a hadith... so totally yes i do agree with it.

the thing is that if u marry a very non religious person, using the logic they can become religious later, then u dont have a guarentee. they may become, or they may not..

[$HugoBoss$]

brother its a hadith... so totally yes i do agree with it.

the thing is that if u marry a very non religious person, using the logic they can become religious later, then u dont have a guarentee. they may become, or they may not..

Marrying a very non religious person is different, someone who knows the deen but doesn't practice as often as they should. Yeah but if your a religious person than the chances of your partner become religious increases :up:

So basically this hadith is saying even if your a really pious muslim and you marry a non religious person your still a loser. Doesn't make sense to me sorry.

[MG]

Some people become religious or concentrate on their deen after marriage??? My sister for example started wearing the hijab after she got engaged and so forth. So i don't agree with that 100% because i know several people who aren't married to pious women and they are not losers, thats just silly to say.

Many people realize how important it is to be a practicing muslim after marriage and would you say those people are losers as well?????

There's no set date or time to when a muslim practices the deen now is there????

if u hope they become or are relying on them becoming religious after marriage,then u are taking a gamble :

1) gambling is haraam in islam

2) yes u will be a loser in many ways if u are married to a woman who does not practice a religion, to many reasons to list.

3) what if as she gets older she gets worse towards the deen and not better towards it? very big gamble to take when it comes to marriage i think IMO


I was listening to a lecture once and the sheikh said, that so many people come to him about their marital problems and the first thing he always asks them is "do u pray salat?" (he asked this same question for other problems too)


no way in hell am i marrying a person who is not practicising inshallah, ripping m nails out would be better?

[.: Anna :.]

but if they are very pious why would they select someone who is not religious? there is not compatibility there. people should select on a similar level. and if he is very pious and he picks a wife who is not bothered in religion, what will be the situation for his children? she wont raise them much on deen..

[GuCcI]

but if they are very pious why would they select someone who is not religious? there is not compatibility there. people should select on a similar level. and if he is very pious and he picks a wife who is not bothered in religion, what will be the situation for his children? she wont raise them much on deen..

that assuming she doesnt change (islamically) after marriage though

[muhammed_1428]

Bro you don;'t have to marry a beautiful rich woman who has mujahideen brothers and wears a niqaab...

When you look at one of the attributes, for example beauty - any of us bros and sisters here will straight away realise that 'beauty' is skin deep, but ACTUAL beauty is also in one's actions, no? That a Muslimah who is aware of what she is doing with obligations to her Lord and Creator Allah SWT as much as to her knowledge; is more beautiful than a woman who is in complete ignorance of the religion of Islam, going out drinking every friday night...

That being said - knowledge is one of the many fruits of a marriage - and so both partners want to marry someone who they believe they will learn from as well as love for the rest of their life Insha'allah, that's not to say "Yeh I wanna marry a muslimah that doesnt know much about Islam so I can teach her", rather, I'm saying "Marry a Muslimah whose dignity, Imaan and honour you can preserve and increase, so long as she herself is willing to continously improve those attributes Insha'allah.

[$HugoBoss$]

if u hope they become or are relyong on them becoming religious after marriage,then u are gambling, :

1) gambling is haraam in islam

2) yes u will be a loser in many ways if u are married to a woman who does not practice a religion.

3) what if as she gets older she gets worse towards the deen and not better towards it? very big gamble to take when it comes to deen IMO


I was listening to a lecture once and the sheikh said, that so many people come to him about their marital problems and the first thing he always asks them is "do u pray salat?" (he asked this same question for other problems too)


no way in hell am i marrying a person who is not practicising inshallah, ripping m nails out would be better?

Well you have to know that person very well before hand, maybe even have a talk about it with them???? You just can't throw them away, showing someone the deen i'm sure there is a great reward for it. Well thats what sheiks and imams do innit????

No need to rip your nails, your going a bit over board with that.

[$HugoBoss$]

but if they are very pious why would they select someone who is not religious? there is not compatibility there. people should select on a similar level. and if he is very pious and he picks a wife who is not bothered in religion, what will be the situation for his children? she wont raise them much on deen..

You maybe right with that but still you can't control who you like, inshallah i always hope for the best anna, no need to think negative :). I've seen non muslim raise there kids better than someone with deen, good character plays a big role n raising children and someone deeny people lack that but let's not go there :coolbro:

[MG]

Well you have to know that person very well before hand, maybe even have a talk about it with them???? You just can't throw them away, showing someone the deen i'm sure there is a great reward for it. Well thats what sheiks and imams do innit????

No need to rip your nails, your going a bit over board with that.


ripping my nails out was an example of how i soooo would not wish to marry someone who is not into their deen, the old "i will become religious once im married to you" dont wash wit me :D :rolleyes:

but do u not think it is a very big gamble to take that someone is not practising and u marry them hoping they BECOME practising?

its like marrying someone who drinks and u marrying them hoping they will stop after marriage? :rubeyes:

[.: Anna :.]

You maybe right with that but still you can't control who you like, inshallah i always hope for the best anna, no need to think negative :). I've seen non muslim raise there kids better than someone with deen, character plays a big role n raising children and someone deeny people lack that but let's not go there :coolbro:

no that is very true. character is extremely important. if she has a good character, but she is not doing alot of extra ibadah just minimum.. she could be better than someone who does all the outward but their character is rotten. so u have to weigh it up, when u consider the person.. i dnt think it means for deen in a limited sense but in the whole package of character, manners and everything.. that is all part of deen actually even tho when we say deeny we get that image which is more about how they look and what outward they do

[$HugoBoss$]

ripping my nails out was an example of how i soooo would not wish to marry someone who is not into their deen, the old "i will become religious once im married to you" dont wash wit me :D :rolleyes:

but do u not think it is a very big gamble to take that someone is not practising and u marry them hoping they BECOME practising?

its like marrying someone who drinks and u marrying them hoping they will stop after marriage? :rubeyes:

Deen can come at any point of your life, it doesn't have to be before marriage. Well as long as you know that person is trying to become a better muslim not for the sake of making you happy but for the sake of allah, i can live with that.

[MustBePatient]

Loser indicates a loss, it can be interpreted since the best intention and best action is to marry for deen, if you don't do that, you would've lost a noble course of action, and missed that door of goodness, hence you lost.

if we look at the hadith, it says for example, if you marry for beauty, you'd be a loser. But a beautiful person can be religious, so the hadith has to be interpeted as the niya makes the person loose something, not the actual person he marries.

because marrying for the religion is noble act, it can be a key to many other blessings. Not having taken that course of action, we would've lost that key. Ofcourse there are many keys to blessings, among the best being Salawat. But different seeds give different fruits, so we would miss some type of fruits in our souls if we miss this course of action, perhaps this is why the Nabi (May God bless him and his holy family) said we would be losers.

ps HugoBoss, I hope you more at ease now :)

[Abu Mu'adh]

Some people become religious or concentrate on their deen after marriage??? My sister for example started wearing the hijab after she got engaged and so forth. So i don't agree with that 100% because i know several people who aren't married to pious women and they are not losers, thats just silly to say.
Many people realize how important it is to be a practicing muslim after marriage and would you say those people are losers as well?????

There's no set date or time to when a muslim practices the deen now is there????

:salams:

You really ought to be careful when you say things like this. This is a saying of our rasul :saw: that you are mocking.

[.: Anna :.]

Loser indicates a loss, it can be interpreted since the best intention and best action is to marry for deen, if you don't do that, you would've lost a noble course of action, and missed that door of goodness, hence you lost.

if we look at the hadith, it says for example, if you marry for beauty, you'd be a loser. But a beautiful person can be religious, so the hadith has to be interpeted as the niya makes the person loose something, not the actual person he marries.

because marrying for the religion is noble act, it can be a key to many other blessings. Not having taken that course of action, we would've lost that key. Ofcourse there are many keys to blessings, among the best being Salawat. But different seeds give different fruits, so we would miss some type of fruits in our souls if we miss this course of action, perhaps this is why the Nabi (May God bless him and his holy family) said we would be losers.

ps HugoBoss, I hope you more at ease now :):jkk: for ur explanation

[MustBePatient]

:jkk: for ur explanation

wa ayakum, and just to remind I said "it can", not that i saying it means that for sure, and I don't even know if the narration is true.

Just a possible explanation in assuming it's true (and I see no reason not to).

wa salam

[Hekmaa]

Just to clarify, for a women reference to her deen does not mean to her being Haafidha or Alimah.

It refers to her being aamilah, one who practices.

Many sisters have memorised books and some even the Quran, yet they are very distant in practice from what that hadith refers to.

As far as the religious being of a women is concerned, it is her implementation of the Faraaid and obedience. Her obedience to her ululamr, is part of her being religious, if she does not take heed from Naseeha in the name of Allah, Deen and amr, then she is not of religion and you do not marry her.

Many Muslims think "oh she should be doing dawah work, and be active in community" in order for her to be religious. To the contrary, if she knows her place and practices her deen within the confines of what Allah swt ordains for her best, then she is religious. Islam is not about images, it is not about covers and volumes. But about substance of what makes her a good person.

[$HugoBoss$]

Jazakallah anna and mustbepatient for explaining the hadith and sharing your thoughts :coolbro:

[.: Anna :.]

Jazakallah anna and mustbepatient for explaining the hadith and sharing your thoughts :coolbro:wa iyyak :)

[MG]

Jazakallah anna and mustbepatient for explaining the hadith and sharing your thoughts :coolbro:

ill thank myself for my thoughts :(

[MustBePatient]

wa ayakum and May God bless your marriage

I hope we also learn something with regards to hadiths, never look at it one way before dismissing it and if we can't understand it and be at ease with it even after asking others and seeking different explanations, just leave it but yet don't deny it because it yet might be true and understood properly by someone else...

this is especially important with hadiths that deal with higher truths...

[GuCcI]

ill thank myself for my thoughts :(

awwww :love: i really liked ur post :inlove:

[MG]

awwww :love: i really liked ur post :inlove:

*sniff sniff*

thanks sis:D

[imran1976]

ripping my nails out was an example of how i soooo would not wish to marry someone who is not into their deen, the old "i will become religious once im married to you" dont wash wit me :D :rolleyes:

but do u not think it is a very big gamble to take that someone is not practising and u marry them hoping they BECOME practising?

its like marrying someone who drinks and u marrying them hoping they will stop after marriage? :rubeyes:

i have to agree with u here, i mean it's better to look into things instead of regretting latter. from practical experience, i can say tht not many ppl change & remain on the same track........

[MustBePatient]

anways, i think my understanding might be wrong and a better explanation is possible. I think i did a logical error because i thought it was said to marry for religion... I read the hadith wrong. But it can still be read that way, I'm not sure. The explanation can still be true either way. But I think it's wrong because when Nabi (saw) talks, their is allusion to the Quran, and "looser" in Quran usually points to those who missed the next world...

So assuming "looser" is indicated in that sense, I will offer another explanation, when something is generally true, it can be said in an statement which can signify absolute meaning too. An example of this is Quran says no one believed in Musa (as) except bani-Israel on account of their oppression, but there was a small exception, the magicians and the believer who hid is faith, for example, did believe. But the statement is a general statement and those statements exist in every language and shouldn't be taken as absolute statements.

So it can just mean generally - to marry religious women - or you would be looser in this world and next. The reason being the woman would belittle religious aspects of you and make great the worldy aspects of you and since you would love when she adores you and hate when she belittles you, you would over time, leave the religious attributes... this would happen unconciously over time, you would ofcourse always say "God comes first", but slowly, it get's to you, and everyone needs encouragement not discouragement, to remian on track of perfection and ascension.

Now the objection is people can change and become good, this is true, but the norm is not that. And even if that is the norm now, that people change after marriage, it can that during the Nabi (pbuh) time, those who were religious would be religious because of precense of PRophet (pbuh), but those who weren't, wouldn't really change, because they clearly should've already due to the precense of the Prophet (pbuh).

There is probably better explanations out there...

wa salam

[MG]

i have to agree with u here, i mean it's better to look into things instead of regretting latter. from practical experience, i can say tht not many ppl change & remain on the same track........


they do not to change after marraige,they have no reason to!


Only some couples are blessed with practising deen together after they are married ,althoug before that they might not have been but its rare and not worth the gamble becos of the problems your talking about

[imran1976]

they do not to change after marraige,they have no reason to!


Only some couples are blessed with practising deen together after they are married ,althoug before that they might not have been but its rare and not worth the gamble becos of the problems your talking about

Hidayat comes from Allah swt, so i's not really abt b4 or after marriage.

the key point is the thing that "he'll change after marriage" this makes me laugh coz i'm witness to few such cases, none of them have changed...

[sis_niqabi]

Salam

it's not a good idea for muslims to be thinking that one will become more religous when getting married. because one must start practicing the deen for sake of Allah and not for the sake of the deen. i know many sisters who only started wearing hijab when they got married. my thing is if you knew it was fard why didn't you wear before you married? one must practice the deen before getting married. practicing the deen is not a married person thing. single people need to be practcing the deen as well. and it's halal for a muslim to say things like "well i will start practicing Islam after im married". but how do you know you'll be alive before getting married?

and what happens if the marriage doesn't work out? the person will most likely go back to the old ways. i suggest brothers and sisters shouldn't someone who isn't practicing. because not everyone and most of the time they do not change. i know of brothers who women who do not wear hijab. but then after they are married the brothers get mad because the women refuse to wear hijab. but they shouldn't even expect them to wear hijab, because when they married them they were non-hijabis

i also know one sister who was planning on marrying this man who drunk alcohol. she kept on saying he would change. well long story short he didn't change and now the engagement is off

[MustBePatient]

they do not to change after marraige,they have no reason to!
Marriage is half the deen, assuming half the jihadal nafs is done, which is one of the explanations of the hadith of marriage be 1/2 of deen, wouldn't the marriage itself be a major reason to change? (if this point is valid, i guess my last post before this explanation is invalid because it would be norm of to be better after marriage)

wa salam

[sis_niqabi]

Marriage is half the deen, assuming half the jihadal nafs is done, which is one of the explanations of the hadith of marriage be 1/2 of deen, wouldn't the marriage itself be a major reason to change? (if this point is valid, i guess my last post before this explanation is invalid because it would be norm of to be better after marriage)

wa salam

but marriage doesn't change one's level of iman. if this were true we would have a lot more religious muslims. a muslims should be practicing the deen anyway

[MG]

Marriage is half the deen, assuming half the jihadal nafs is done, which is one of the explanations of the hadith of marriage be 1/2 of deen, wouldn't the marriage itself be a major reason to change? (if this point is valid, i guess my last post before this explanation is invalid because it would be norm of to be better after marriage)

wa salam

yes if your spiritually into islam in the first place, then u will appreciate the fact that u have completed 1/2 your deen but if u dont even know what completing "1/2 your deen" is in the 1st place, it wont really help?

like i said, only happens to a few lucky couples,where both become practising

[MustBePatient]

Salam

Another explanation: maybe this hadith is saying to marry a muslim or ahlal-kitab and not mushrikeen who might be beautiful or wealthy... and as marrying a person who don't believe in God will cause one to come to fire and this hadith might've been said in explanation of the verse not to marry mushrikeen and that believing women is better, and Prophet (pbuh) is commenting on that verse?

[sis_niqabi]

Salam

i think we should all refrain from giving our own explanation of this hadith. none of us here are scholars.

and anyway the hadith is pretty clear and self explaining

[Al-Farooq]

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, quotes the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying, "A woman is married for four things, i.e. her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser."

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil."

:jkk:

Excellent reminder and two incredibly wise ahadith maha'Allah.

[MustBePatient]

Salam

i think we should all refrain from giving our own explanation of this hadith. none of us here are scholars.

and anyway the hadith is pretty clear and self explaining

Salam

I am giving possibilities, I never asserted that is explanation of the hadith or that the hadith is even true, but I take it you assume however you first read it and understood must be the meaning of the hadith? is this the way you read Quran as well?

at the time when it was mushrikeen vs muwahadeen, maybe "religious" had a different meaning then what you think today? it might've just meant make sure to marry someone who believes in God and last day, not mushrikeen, and this might be allusion to the verse in Quran not to marry mushrikeen even if you like them and that a believer is better... I didn't say this is explanation, but it is possibility.. yes i'm not a scholar but we all encouraged to think about Allah's (swt) verses although not scholars, so i would think we still allowed to ponder over hadiths and look at it differently and discuss like we've been doing

I think the Prophetic sayings all deserve to be thought about from different angles, and not given one angle...

your explanation is a possibility - not saying it isn't...

[MustBePatient]

yes if your spiritually into islam in the first place, then u will appreciate the fact that u have completed 1/2 your deen but if u dont even know what completing "1/2 your deen" is in the 1st place, it wont really help?

like i said, only happens to a few lucky couples,where both become practising

I don't know what you mean by practising but aren't most muslims practicing in sense they do pray and fast and do all the wajibats?

I tend to see that when people grow up, they do become religious after having sinful youth...

even some of the best muslim saints, they were sinners when young...

[MG]

I don't know what you mean by practising but aren't most muslims practicing in sense they do pray and fast and do all the wajibats?

I tend to see that when people grow up, they do become religious after having sinful youth...

even some of the best muslim saints, they were sinners when young...


i dont think "most" muslims pray 5x per day

allahu alim

[LastFriday]

i dont think "most" muslims pray 5x per day

allahu alim

Unfortunately that is so true. Even if they do, they do it as a ritual and don't know why they are doing it or the meaning behind what they are saying.

[MustBePatient]

i dont think "most" muslims pray 5x per day

allahu alim

I hope this is not true, but why don't you think most pray?

[MG]

I hope this is not true, but why don't you think most pray?



i wish it wasnt true but most people i come across do not pray 5x and that is why i said Allah swt knows best

[impossiblyblue]

i wish it wasnt true but most people i come across do not pray 5x and that is why i said Allah swt knows best

Most muslims I've encountered in muslim-majority countries do and most I've encountered in non-muslim majority countries do not. Just personal observation of an obviously not objective sampling, but maybe location has a lot to do with it.