poor confused little gucci

[GuCcI]

Marriage eh. love between husband and wife. sacrifice, compromise, forgiveness, tolerance and all that other good stuff.

what makes a person happy in the marriage... i used to think it would be luxury furniture and grand food shared together by a man and woman.

but even after having pretty clothes, sparkly jewellry and every other material thing desireable, its not enough to make a person happy. is it cuz this person is so greedy and has it all theres nothing new anymore? its cuz theres something so much more important than that in a marriage no? we know what it is - love, understanding, committment...

but you love your partner, thats why ur married right? share a bond and stuff. theres definite care for each other so theres love. but whats missing? - dont say baby.

seriously though, whats missing if all the material stuff dont satisfy and even though both care for & love each other theres still a feeling of emptiness inside?
is it because of fights? no one likes to fight, but should it leave u feeling depressed inside? or is this a normal feeling to have :confused:

or is it sooo abnormal that one should see a psychiatrist :rubeyes:

after all the love and care and pretty stuff why should someone still be unhappy? is it normal to be happy most of the time and sad for part of it?

*gucci's so out of it*

are our partners already chosen for us? ive been told so...

so that chosen partner is who we will end up with for sure? There's no way to end up with an "unchosen" person? the person u end up with is the person you're MEANT to be with? can you end up with someone ur not meant to be with? am i repeating myself in different words?

is it possible that ur actually suppossed to be with one person but end up with someone else?

what's this true love business? is it just some fantasy made by media or does it exist? how do you know if it is? is everyone suppossed to experience it? are you suppossed to feel that way about your husband or wife? is it wrong not to feel that way? what if u dont even believe in a "true love" :confused:

*poor little gucci is so confused*


yeah i dont know wat im talking about- - *high*

[Lambo5688]

confused poor little gucci made poor lambo confused...

Whatever happens tho, stay away from the Zoloft.

[GuCcI]

wats zoloft?

[Lambo5688]

It's an antidepressent.

[GuCcI]

oh...


*then the thread dies*

[Lambo5688]

oh...


*then the thread dies*

Why does it have to die? I'm sure some of the sisters are on their way to offer some mushy wifey type advice..:coolbro:

[-Shamil-]

so what your saying is what happens when you have all the material goods and also the love, understanding etc. in a marriage and your still not satisfied?

i dont think people are unhappy in that situation - mmaybe ure just gettin cold feet before your marriage :up:

[GuCcI]

i dont think people are unhappy in that situation - mmaybe ure just gettin cold feet before your marriage :up:

who said it was me :torture:

[Lambo5688]

who said it was me :torture:

We know its you. No need to pretend.

[GuCcI]

We know its you. No need to pretend.

if u even read my rant u would see i was talking about husbands and wives :(

ur all picking on me :crying:

[Rosalie-Beauty]

Ok GuCci, the last thing you said was correct; there is no such thing as love. Or if there was, its extinct. But thats a whole different topic.
Here is my theory (as flawed as it may be) In a marriage people are'nt attracted to each other 'cause of money or good food (although that's nice too) People enjoy being with each other because of the person they are. Like the weird quirks there parnter has and the insight they give each other. It like a friendship, but deeper.
And yes I think they're must be times when you are not happy. The world is not a Utopia. And there is a reason for your unhappiness. Whatever it may be, it will pass and then you will appreciate the happiness all the more.
And about the partner thing, thats tricky. I mean yeah, since Allah knows everything, he knows who is right for you. Its all about decisions. When you make the wrong one, hopefully you will learn and pick better next time.
I think what your're asking is if there is such thing as soulmates. Who knows?

Ok that's all. If anyone was silly enough to read this, Jazakullah. :D

Wasalam.

[afrasayab]

ummm... seems like you are having doubts.... :confused:
or maybe just nervous....
It is a very confusing subject and there is perhaps no good answer. I mean if there is someone created for you then why ppl get married get divorced even after 10, 20, 30, or 40 years and marry someone else or die alone???? Yes it is confusing... it takes an eternity to find someone you really like and want to spend your life with but doesn't happen or lasts very long many times.

[MustBePatient]

Marriage eh. love between husband and wife. sacrifice, compromise, forgiveness, tolerance and all that other good stuff.

Ask God for the good stuff to happen and do your best on your part, and inshallah it will happen

what makes a person happy in the marriage...

I'm not sure but happiness is not most important thing

marriage is a contract, and marriage can be part of a reason a person is happy, but i would think marriage should also be a source of relief for if ever a person becomes sad and confort if ever a person or both are distressed or depressed, it's not just about being happy

i used to think it would be luxury furniture and grand food shared together by a man and woman.

that can make you happy, why not? it's not the dignity type happy that is a different type of happines, well who knows, it can be if you remember God and are grateful for it

but even after having pretty clothes, sparkly jewellry and every other material thing desireable, its not enough to make a person happy.

be grateful and God will give you more and better things (non-material)

is it cuz this person is so greedy and has it all theres nothing new anymore? its cuz theres something so much more important than that in a marriage no? we know what it is - love, understanding, committment...

yeah

but you love your partner, thats why ur married right? share a bond and stuff. theres definite care for each other so theres love. but whats missing?

a baby

seriously though, whats missing if all the material stuff dont satisfy and even though both care for & love each other theres still a feeling of emptiness inside?

don't seek to fill emptiness with anything but Allah (swt)

is it because of fights? no one likes to fight, but should it leave u feeling depressed inside? or is this a normal feeling to have :confused:

when my parents fight, it depresses me, yet it's normal, i see it my parents faces after they fight and voices too

or is it sooo abnormal that one should see a psychiatrist :rubeyes:

not abnormal but psychiatrist can help sort things out for you two

after all the love and care and pretty stuff why should someone still be unhappy? is it normal to be happy most of the time and sad for part of it?

you might be sad about some stuff about him because you don't like it, but happy over all because over he's good and you like the qualities in him?


are our partners already chosen for us? ive been told so...

Islamic school teacher?

so that chosen partner is who we will end up with for sure?

I hope it is so in your case

There's no way to end up with an "unchosen" person?

Nuh (as) wife was a disbeliever... I will tell you something later that will answer your question

the person u end up with is the person you're MEANT to be with? can you end up with someone ur not meant to be with? am i repeating myself in different words?

repeating

is it possible that ur actually suppossed to be with one person but end up with someone else?

forget all this meant to be and stuff, it's a bad way to think, we wouldn't know what was meant to be or not, so no need to worry about it

what's this true love business?

love exists in various degrees and in a way it's like faith, it can increases and has no limit, and it can decrease till none of it exists anymore

Doing good acts to one another, every good talk, every hug, every "I love you" will add to love

say I love you all the time, don't say "he knows", and it's like Ibraheem (as) said "yes (i believe) but that my heart may be tranquil", so don 't only say it but show it too, so he maybe tranquil in the feeling of love and everything just increases till it grows and grows

some degree of love is what people know as "true love". I don't know where the standard is, but there is no limit to love so as to say true love doesn't exist, it can have levels beyond what anyone would've thought of as true love

are you suppossed to feel that way about your husband or wife? is it wrong not to feel that way? what if u dont even believe in a "true love" :confused:

it depends on how you both act, inshallah it will grow constantly, and meet your standard of true love and go then beyond that

*poor little gucci is so confused* [/FONT]

Sayateen want you to be unhappy, just stop listening to them

yeah i dont know wat im talking about- - *high*

relax, you will inshallah have a wonderful life

[GuCcI]

i think the person would be more at peace if they knew that whoever is written down for you is who ur meant to be with and who u will be with. thats it no ifs ands or buts.

so lets say the person wasnt married, is it still normal to be unhappy some of the time?


are soulmates even real?!

[Eemaan]

Gucci i couldnt read any of what you said in pink, the words were moving around the screen, is all okay? wedding still on?

[GuCcI]

Gucci i couldnt read any of what you said in pink, the words were moving around the screen, is all okay? wedding still on?

its not meee :rolleyes:

[Noor_Usman]

Asalamalikum.

What you must remember as Muslims is that everything is already decided. Even if you get married...suffer horribily form physical or mental abuse...and then get divorced...maybe even get remarried -WHAT EVER HAPPENS IS MEANT TO HAPPEN. Whether good or bad :up: It's not up to us to decide what we want and all live cushy little lives. The hard parts in our lives are the character building parts and the times when we show and often enhance our Imaan :)

Another thing to remember is that you don't just fall into a good marriage, you have to build one. The first few years everyone agrees are hard, but then you start to come to an understanding and work together without even having to make a concious effort.
I can speak from experience...the first 1.5years of my marriage were down right miserable. Now I've been showered with all kinds of gifts but it's simple things my husband does that keep me happy, like watching a movie with me, making the odd cup of tea for me or just cracking a joke to make me smile. What good is all the 'bling' in the world if the person you're living with for the rewt of your life isn't going to be like a permanet best friend to you in the way the treat you? :rolleyes:
That's what husbands and wives are really....they're a best friend who is so close you consider them family :) Maybe you get so close inshallah that you consider them almost as an extention of your person.
Be careful though because you should never think your partner is the be-all-and-end-all because ultimately you should have more love for Allah T'ala and His Prophet than for any other human being :up:

And who's to say that the gap isn't because you want a child? Obviously you should try to build a strong foundation before you get other people involved in your life because you will need a united front to get by....but at the end of the day family IS important ;)

[ummbilal]

Why does it have to die? I'm sure some of the sisters are on their way to offer some mushy wifey type advice..:coolbro:

here i am with mushy wifie type advice,

firstly if material things are what makes u happy u are going to be disappointed and very sad, as material things are DUNYA, what makes happiness and love in a marriage is companiionship, understanding and love,

true love is a mysterious thing, the western concept of "the one" is complete rubbish its just encouraging young people to commit fornication in the hope they will find "the one", you will feel attractiona dn affection towards your new husband but later the deeper bond of grown up true love comes when u cannot imagine your life without them in it, when no matter what happens you know this person is there by your side, come good times and bad, and they will come.

True love is when u dont have to even say it, and they already know, because they know u almost better than u know yourself;)

Inshaallah sister you will find this great blessing from Allah, but dont be fooled into thinking everyone has ONE person they will be happy with , this isnt true, many muslims marry, have wonderful blessed marriages, their spuose dies and they re marry and again have a wonderful marriage,

Allah knows all that will be so make duas to Allah to give you the best man for you.

[Metroid]

its not meee :rolleyes:

Don't worry. This is a normal reaction people get the closer their day of getting married gets. Once you marry, you will be happy again.:up:

It is not you, However it can happen to you:)
Since it can happen to you, We can safely assume it is you even tho it is not you:rolleyes:

[Kal-El]

Ok GuCci, the last thing you said was correct; there is no such thing as love. Or if there was, its extinct. But thats a whole different topic.


No she isn't correct. Just because you get no love doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's like some poor depressed sod declaring theres no such thing as "true happiness" because he hasn't been truly happy.

This thread is just too depressing.

[Al-Farooq]

None of us know with any certainty if the person we are going to marry (or have married) is the person chosen for us by Allah subhanahu wa ta’aala. If the marriage is fulfilling then it’s safe to assume we married the right person. But for a marriage to be fulfilling takes effort in many different ways. Marriage isn’t a cure for unhappiness, it’s companionship, contentment and fulfilling half your deen.

If a person is unhappy most the time before marriage, that won’t necessarily change after marriage. We often blame unhappiness on matters that are irrelevant to it‘s cause….and, therefore, our attempts at ending that unhappiness are unsuccessful.

We should never expect the answers to our problems to lie solely in the actions of another person, we have to be pro-active and try to solve our problems ourselves.

If one enters a marriage with unrealistic expectations, then one is likely to become frustrated.


yeah i dont know wat im talking about- - *high*


Was that a fruedian slip...has Gucci been sipping the hoochy? I'm only joking.:o

[Metroid]

None of us know with any certainty if the person we are going to marry (or have married) is the person chosen for us by Allah subhanahu wa ta’aala. If the marriage is fulfilling then it’s safe to assume we married the right person. But for a marriage to be fulfilling takes effort in many different ways. Marriage isn’t a cure for unhappiness, it’s companionship, contentment and fulfilling half your deen.

If a person is unhappy most the time before marriage, that won’t necessarily change after marriage. We often blame unhappiness on matters that are irrelevant to it‘s cause….and, therefore, our attempts at ending that unhappiness are unsuccessful.

We should never expect the answers to our problems to lie solely in the actions of another person, we have to be pro-active and try to solve our problems ourselves.

If one enters a marriage with unrealistic expectations, then one is likely to become frustrated.



Was that a fruedian slip...has Gucci been sipping the hoochy? I'm only joking.:o


It could a temptation from Satan. He often discourage people from doing the right thing even tough the person intended to do good
The thing is to pray to Allah for guidance. What we think is bad is actually good. Yes, guidance is to be invoked.

[MustBePatient]

i think the person would be more at peace if they knew that whoever is written down for you is who ur meant to be with and who u will be with. thats it no ifs ands or buts.

so lets say the person wasnt married, is it still normal to be unhappy some of the time?


are soulmates even real?!

if it was always like that, would divorce be permissible?

Zaid (ra) divorced and Mohammad (saw) then married her. Zaid (ra) nor his wife (ra) was bad.

We can ask God for anything. We can ask God to make us martyrs and are life is ordained yes but our choices, desires and our du'as have influence. I think you always been wanting the person you marry to be special in the sense it's the person you meant to be with. Maybe since you're the type of person that wants that badly, then it's been ordained so.

I can't guarantee it though and you can't know for sure.

You can ask God to make you feel happy and your future husband the same, you can ask God to make it a great marriage, you can ask God to strengthen the bond between you two and to put forbearance and compassion that will cease the arguments.

Inshallah with those du'as, you will be happy, I wish you would be happy so we can all be happy for you... :)

[MustBePatient]

As for soulmates, I do believe that some do exist but in general humans are to chose their own, and that it's a blessing as well that we choose, and it always has potential to being something really great.

We are humans after all, we are the creations of choice, not like Angels (as) who assigned their role without their choice, we choose job, life, strive to the extent we want to be close to God, we also choose who we want to marry.

In some cases, i know, people have dreams, like the wife of Khomeini (qas) didn't want to marry him and wanted to marry some guy in the government but had a dream with Ahle-Bayt (as) telling her to marry Khomeini (qas) and so she did.

My mom also had dream with regard to dad before she even met him, she had dream, and she felt it was ordained because everything in dream she saw in real life, and felt it was meant to be.

Maybe you had dream like that or maybe you will get 1 with regard to, but even if you don't, marriage might be wonderful.u

Maybe ask God to make you see Rasool (saw) in dream if you really want to know that bad.

And remember what I said about love, it can increase or decrease, it's how you act that determines that.

[Zesty]

Man this thread is ssoooo depressing :o
Love is so simple- yet we like to make it complicated (in can be complicated in that your emotions overtake you) but other than that... you love someone because.. well.. you simply love them :o

I never believed in soulmates- i always believed there were too many people in this world who you could get on with and make something work. I dunno whether my head is just in the clouds or whether im just being la di da but since finding "the one" i completely believe in soul mates. Yes there are plenty you could live with and make it work with- but the difference is in WANTING that specific person.

Im also beginning to realise what a blessing it is to find someone who feels the same way as you or even loves you more than you love them. It doesnt come this easily for many.

What is love anyway? Its subjective- some people have very high expectations of others and so are disappointed when they never seem to find what they are looking for without realising that the fault lies in their own expectations and demands. Other people have these demands and they do find who and want they want- its a game of Qadr :) whatever is written for you will be yours BUT you do have a choice in how you react to things and how you wish to lead your life. If youre hell bent on being unhappy and finding faults in things/people- without a doubt you will find them. Take the more optimistic road and you will find that you decide your own happiness.

Whatever it is- its hard work :p Finding the one or finding someone who is compatible enough to marry is just the beginning. Most people worry so much about this stage that when they get to the marriage part itself they forget or fail in maintaining and nurturing that marriage!

[bint]

lol at emaan! :rotfl:

gucci gucci gucci..what to do with u..i cant give u any advice..cos really i dunno what to say loool!

tread carefullyy mwahaha ;)

[Ebony]

Theres little point in theorising about all this. You'll find out once you're married.

[GuCcI]

thank you children for the helpful replies.

sorry to those who are left more depressed :rubeyes:

ummm yeah.... i'll be back :confused:

[bint]

thank you children for the helpful replies.

sorry to those who are left more depressed :rubeyes:

ummm yeah.... i'll be back :confused:
cuteeee!:p

[GuCcI]

no ok it think im cooler now :)

[bint]

no ok it think im cooler now :)
thats good. hey pm if u ever wanna talk:love:

[Joha]

Alright Gucci, learn from these two people - they know what love meant.

Love: the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor
after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
~ Author unknown, printed in The Hoosier Farmer

In this horror of solitude, this need to lose his ego in exterior flesh,
which man calls grandly the need for love.
~ Charles Baudelaire

[GuCcI]

Alright Gucci, learn from these two people - they know what love meant.

Love: the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor
after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
~ Author unknown, printed in The Hoosier Farmer

In this horror of solitude, this need to lose his ego in exterior flesh,
which man calls grandly the need for love.
~ Charles Baudelaire

but that didnt answer any of my questions :o

[GuCcI]

Thank to this:

opposites attract, likes repel.

im left all confused again. does this apply to everyone in all cases?^

if both are a like in some ways does that mean that relationship wont work/last?
2 hot-headed people for example, does it mean they shouldnt be together?

[MustBePatient]

Remember all the good times with him GuCci and all the good things you like about him

Write it down in a poem and read the poem whenever you feel down, you will remember how much he means to you.

[Lambo5688]

Remember all the good times with him GuCci and all the good things you like about him

Write it down in a poem and read the poem whenever you feel down, you will remember how much he means to you.

whoaa poem :0:

[MustBePatient]

]Thank to this:

studies show most of the time, almost all cases, partners are likes and not opposites, they even have similar features most of the time let alone personality

2 hot-headed people for example, does it mean they shouldnt be together? [/QUOTE]

they both need to learn to forbear, anger is controlable and it's usually a matter of ego, bow down to words and they won't hurt you :)

salam

[GuCcI]

whoaa poem :0:

lol i was thinking the same thing. person who cant stand READING poetry is being advised to write? lol :p

[Lambo5688]

lol i was thinking the same thing. person who cant stand READING poetry is being advised to write? lol :p

I can't stand poems also.

[MustBePatient]

whoaa poem :0:


yeah or otherwise it would be boring to read over and over again

you think if Quran was not done in such beautiful poetic way, most people would read it over and over again just for knowledge and guidance? only few people would

[MustBePatient]

In this horror of solitude, this need to lose his ego in exterior flesh,
which man calls grandly the need for love.
~ Charles Baudelaire

yeah which is why falling in love outside halal marriage is a big danger, it might make you do things below dignity

[GuCcI]

yeah too bad i didnt even understand the peice by Charles Baudelaire :o

[MustBePatient]

having thought of it that way, maybe it's half the deen cause many senses:

1) avoiding haram (the obvious) by satisfying lust halal way
2) loosing ego and ego is barrier to seeing Allah (swt) Noor
3) helping god's cause by raising muslims
4) having howa energy that will help in Spiritual ascension to God (without marriage, the howa energy must be suppressed b/c it has material want and spiritual want, but since material want can't be sastified, it must remain supressed)

The Buraaq of Nabi (saw) is said to be the image of his Howa (not that the Buraaq is not real).

GuCci will be able to ascend to new neights very fast inshallah after she marries in five months :up:

[MustBePatient]

yeah too bad i didnt even understand the peice by Charles Baudelaire :o

maybe you should try, it might help destroy the arguing problem :)

[MustBePatient]

sorry to those who are left more depressed :rubeyes:


this is a big decision your making

speak what's on your mind

forget all the soulmate stuff, forget the once in a while tensions, do you love this man and do you really want to be with him?

I think if it's yes, then all that matters is how you going to get rid of tension.

I think people here can help you with that.

[MustBePatient]

GuCci, you feeling better?

[neelu]

what makes a person happy in the marriage... i used to think it would be luxury furniture and grand food shared together by a man and woman.

but even after having pretty clothes, sparkly jewellry and every other material thing desireable,

^^ That's the bollywood version of what makes a happy marriage. I personally think that in the Indian subcontinent, it's common for people to look at weddings in terms of gifts, furniture and jewelry because they're poor countries so it may give the appearance of a girl getting a good start in marriage if she has these luxuries from the outset (and in some cases it's just a matter of showing off status too). These things have nothing to do with what really makes a happy marriage.


is it cuz this person is so greedy and has it all theres nothing new anymore? its cuz theres something so much more important than that in a marriage no? we know what it is - love, understanding, committment...

but you love your partner, thats why ur married right? share a bond and stuff. theres definite care for each other so theres love. but whats missing? - dont say baby.


You're right, it usually doesn't have anything to do with babies. I think in such a situation when a woman is well provided for materially but still feels unhappy, there are two main possible reasons for the unhappiness. Either it's because:

- The woman's Iman is wavering, in which case, she'd have lived much of her life with this shallow dream that she thought would be fulfilled by marriage; only to find after marriage that her life still feels empty so she starts blaming the whole world instead of counting her blessings and literally doing some 'soul searching' OR,

- The woman feels isolated when she moves away from her friends and family so she doesn't have the usual outlets for her frustrations and this can make her upset/depressed. In such a case, she needs to make do with keeping in touch with friends and family in other ways (such as online) and start building new relationships with her husband, in laws, community etc OR,

- The husband is neglecting a matter in her life which she considers to be very important but he is not taking seriously. It could be any number of things such as: him ignoring his wife, taking her for granted, allowing her to be insulted by his family members, becomes inconsiderate about her needs/wellbeing. Bear in mind that even in love marriages this sort of thing can happen. The key to resolving this problem is for both husband and wife to really listen to each other and take each other's views on board.



no one likes to fight, but should it leave u feeling depressed inside? or is this a normal feeling to have :confused:

or is it sooo abnormal that one should see a psychiatrist :rubeyes:


Of course these feelings are normal- have you never watched Oprah/Dr Phil?


after all the love and care and pretty stuff why should someone still be unhappy? is it normal to be happy most of the time and sad for part of it?

what's this true love business? is it just some fantasy made by media or does it exist? how do you know if it is? is everyone suppossed to experience it? are you suppossed to feel that way about your husband or wife? is it wrong not to feel that way? what if u dont even believe in a "true love" :confused:


If she feels happy most of the time and sad some of the time then she should make dua for Allah's (swt) guidance and maybe do istikhara if she's considering making a decision on the matter (such as breaking an engagement or confronting a person who's made her feel sad). It could be that the sadness some of the time is just a normal part of the ups and downs in life or it could be that the sadness is a sign that all is not well and she needs to do something about it before the situation deteriorates and makes her even more upset. As for love; maybe I'm not the best person to ask about that:o

[~Unity~]

I'm so stressed out and tired. And now Gucci has made me confused :( Thanks a lot :(

[Abu Mus'ab]

I can't stand poems also.
ehhhh? :0: you were the one telling me to stay out of that roses are red 'poem' thread and you were participating in it yourself :eek3:

Poetry is tip top, if it's the proper poetry that is, the Qur'an beats all poetry hands down, i like arabic poetry best, then urdu and english poetry are next in line, if a poem doesn't rhyme then it aint a poem in my book.

one poem of rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that comes to mind is "anan nabee laa kadhib... ana ibn abdul muttalib" meaning "i am a nabi this is no lie, i am the offspring of abdul muttalib"

And so many of the sahabah ridhwanullahi alayhim has poetry, hadhrat abu bakr radhiallahu anhu, hadhrat ali radhiallahu anhu, hadhrat khalid radhiallahu anhu, hadhrat muawiyah radhiallahu anhu, hadhrat hassan bin thabit radhiallahu anhu and many others.

and then there's two massive poems which i like, qaseedah nooniyyah and nooniyyatul qahtani, both of them are pages long.

The salaf used to like poetry as well, imam shafi rahimahullahs poetry is well known, and that quote of imam ibn taymiyyah rahimahullah that irfan gbh had in his signature is actually a poem, imam ibn kathir rahimahullah regularly quotes poetry in tafsir ibn kathir (but the english version cut it all out), futuh al sham and seerah ibn hisham both have loads and loads of poetry.

I haven't felt poetic in a very long time, back in the day my mind used to have a mind of its own and would just speak in poetry, but it used to allow only me to listen to it because the minute i picked up a pen to write it down then my mind used to switch itself off :(

[Nazias]

:scratch: What on earth is this thread about? but regardless of being lost as to what GuCcI's point is (no offence :there:), my two pence...

Whatever happens is due to the will of Allah(swt). Insha'allah turn to Allah(swt) and make sincere dua and Insha'allah after hardship will come ease! :love:

[GuCcI]

:scratch: What on earth is this thread about? but regardless of being lost as to what GuCcI's point is (no offence :there:), my two pence...

Whatever happens is due to the will of Allah(swt). Insha'allah turn to Allah(swt) and make sincere dua and Insha'allah after hardship will come ease! :love:

if it really was that confusing then how come other pplz got it ehhhh??? :spunch:
:love:

actually, i dont think i even had a point to begin with :(

[Umm 'Umarah]

Gucci, I think you should take everything as it comes, you're overthinking, exhausting those pink brain cells of yours :p but I don't blame you, I'd probably be the same.

It's best not to have expectations because if those expectations aren't met, that will lead to disappointment. Expect less, then whatever you get will be a bonus.

no point in thinking... what do i do in this situation, is it supposed to be like this, am i supposed to feel like that, is this how it's going to be, because after your wedding, you'll have a completely different outlook and way of thinking. and then you'll probably wonder why you worried so much in the first place.

look on the bright side, at least you know who you're marrying, you know who that person is going to be.

[Ebony]

Well its not entirely right to say have no expectations. You should expect your spouse to care for you, be affectionate, provide for you (in terms of food, money, attention, love etc)

Just dont have high and unrealistic expectations :p

[Umm 'Umarah]

Well its not entirely right to say have no expectations. You should expect your spouse to care for you, be affectionate, provide for you (in terms of food, money, attention, love etc)

Just dont have high and unrealistic expectations :p

lol, I was meant to say too many expectations.:o

[angel*]

:rubeyes: Gosh, what a thread! Gucci i think you need to chill out BIG TIME, If we all knew what Love is-was or what the secret to a happy marriage is-was, more than half the problems people face today would be eliminated. Everyone has his or her own experiance on which they base their opinions, hence its diffrent for everyone, we all come up with our definition for the It. Marriage is what you make of it, how you handle situations and how you precive them. Imho a happy-sucsessful marriage is not based on how much money the couple have but how strong the foundations are, it dosn't matter if the couple are destined to be together or not, if you keep thinking like this, thats all you'll ever be doing thinking, because no-one has the answer. Bottom line at the end of the day is that you are together and how your marriage works out is totally up to the two of you. I'd actaully be worried be if you said "I'm always happy and i've never been sad." Life's not perfect for anyone, if your sad and don't know why, figure it out, there's always a reason behind everything, we just need to look hard enough. Maybe your stressing too much when you should really just leave most of whats too happen up to fate seeing as the time hasn't come where your in a position to do anything about whatever this thread is about..? :o

[Abu Mus'ab]

:rubeyes: Gosh, what a thread! Gucci i think you need to chill out BIG TIME, If we all knew what Love is-was or what the secret to a happy marriage is-was, more than half the problems people face today would be eliminated. Everyone has his or her own experiance on which they base their opinions, hence its diffrent for everyone, we all come up with our definition for the It. Marriage is what you make of it, how you handle situations and how you precive them. Imho a happy-sucsessful marriage is not based on how much money the couple have but how strong the foundations are, it dosn't matter if the couple are destined to be together or not, if you keep thinking like this, thats all you'll ever be doing thinking, because no-one has the answer. Bottom line at the end of the day is that you are together and how your marriage works out is totally up to the two of you. I'd actaully be worried be if you said "I'm always happy and i've never been sad." Life's not perfect for anyone, if your sad and don't know why, figure it out, there's always a reason behind everything, we just need to look hard enough. Maybe your stressing too much when you should really just leave most of whats too happen up to fate seeing as the time hasn't come where your in a position to do anything about whatever this thread is about..? :o

gucci said the thread isn't about her :nono:

my 25,500th post :eek:

[angel*]

gucci saidd the thread isn't about her :nono:

Sowwie :o

[sis_sarah]

wow gucci
that was one confusing piece of very confusing stuff
im outta here ;)

[GuCcI]

gucci said the thread isn't about her :nono:

my 25,500th post :eek:

yeah! why does everyone think this drama queen thread is about sweet simple me :rolleyes:

[~Unity~]

So this aint even about you? I'm confused even more :(

[GuCcI]

ok so heres how it is:

some of you, your posts are so great and make me feel better... and gets me thinking yeah thats right...

and then theres the rest of you, who, i guess are trying but either leave me:

a.) more confused/sad?
or
b.) feel like :torture:

but, ive figured out some stuff cuz u all i guess contributed something one way or another :hidban:

- yep gucci sad :( --- but only sometimes!!!
-> but why? even gucci doesnt know.... :confused:
- gucci overthinking --- not healthy!
-> but only cuz there are no answers to the tougher questions

is it bad to think that cuz i feel my marriage is a little early in my life :o that there might be someone better out there? that by getting married now im losing that chance of meeting someone more suitable? :o:o am i the only person who thinks that and does that make me a bad person :o:o:o actually i dont even know wat i want...

this whole thing to me now is like... shoe shopping. im never absolutely sure about which pair i want and then i always second guess my self. the way to fix it: buy both pairs! or u can buy the other pair later... and have a collection and then have matching handbags :love:

but u cant have more than one man! :rubeyes: and u cant exchange or return your husband either! and you cant buy a handbag to match him :(


can u make a marriage work even if ur not happy in it? i think im preparing for the worst? is that bad? in my defense, ive never got married before so uhh yeah i dont know

[Umm 'Umarah]

you can't have two husbands gucci :p the 'buy both pairs' rule doesn't apply there :p

I can relate to the handbag thing, you know sis, men are like handbags in a way, they are an accessory. but the thing is, they get a bit old and dated. so they're not like handbags after that anymore.

ukhti, you're not even married yet, so you don't know whether you're going to be unhappy, it's unhealthy for you to think this way, or you'll set yourself up to feel unhappy. shaytaan likes to mess up marriages. you don't want that to happen to you.

[GuCcI]

right sis, and i think for the most part i will be okay once im married or watever... but theres just one little paranoid part of me thats so paranoid thinks everyone is out to get me im not even joking :rubeyes:

my fiance is a caring kind forgiving guy hes tall, smart has a job, finishing his degree, is willing to spend watever on me so im happy, sounds great right? well yeah.... his mom and sister are soooo nice to me. even better right? BUT wat if... its just all too good to be true?!

[Al-Farooq]

is it bad to think that cuz i feel my marriage is a little early in my life :o that there might be someone better out there? that by getting married now im losing that chance of meeting someone more suitable? :o:o am i the only person who thinks that and does that make me a bad person :o:o:o actually i dont even know wat i want...


On the flipside, if you don't marry this guy and he turns out to be a "masha'Allah" husband to some other brand-name....sorry, woman...you will regret it for the rest of your life.

[GuCcI]

On the flipside, if you don't marry this guy and he turns out to be a "masha'Allah" husband to some other brand-name....sorry, woman...you will regret it for the rest of your life.

i knowww... am i the only one in the world who wants it all :o

[~Unity~]

Perhaps you think everyone is out to get you cos you know u have always been protected by your parent but now you are leaving all that and ppl always have stories of evil mother in laws etc. You said alhamdulilah that his family are lovely, so stop worrying sis. InshaAllah they won't change! And nothing aint too good to be true. Things are all luvvy duvvy now but once you get married you will have ur ups and downs so it won't seem so perfect then and that might make it feel alot more realistic and make u alot more comfortable :p It is normal to worry :love:

[Al-Farooq]

i knowww... am i the only one in the world who wants it all :o

It's not a case of "wanting it all", so stop being hard on yourself.

These are all thoughts and questions that everyone in your position asks themselves at some point during the build-up to marraige.

It's a big step and one you should only make once in your life....I would be more worried if you WEREN'T asking these questions.

Relax. Breath.

He must be husband-material or you wouldn't have agreed to marry him.

[Metroid]

you can't have two husbands gucci :p the 'buy both pairs' rule doesn't apply there :p

I can relate to the handbag thing, you know sis, men are like handbags in a way, they are an accessory. but the thing is, they get a bit old and dated. so they're not like handbags after that anymore.

ukhti, you're not even married yet, so you don't know whether you're going to be unhappy, it's unhealthy for you to think this way, or you'll set yourself up to feel unhappy. shaytaan likes to mess up marriages. you don't want that to happen to you.

That's what i was saying and this is very true.
Thank u so much

[Umm 'Umarah]

Gucci you ungrateful woman :torture:

You're so so blessed to be marrying someone tall. half the population of bengali men are short, consider yourself lucky. I really hope my husband is 5'11. that's the ideal height for me.

Ukhti count your blessings. You're husband seems right for you, and you're in-laws seem really nice.

[Ibn Sina]

ajeeb girl ....

[GuCcI]

Perhaps you think everyone is out to get you cos you know u have always been protected by your parent ...

true, thats prolly wat it is..

He must be husband-material or you wouldn't have agreed to marry him.

yeah eh good point, why do i forget that?

Gucci you ungrateful woman :torture:

You're so so blessed to be marrying someone tall. half the population of bengali men are short, consider yourself lucky. I really hope my husband is 5'11. that's the ideal height for me.

Ukhti count your blessings. You're husband seems right for you, and you're in-laws seem really nice.

ur right :o

ajeeb girl ....

thanks for the helpful words of support :)

[MustBePatient]

but only cuz there are no answers to the tougher questions


*sigh*

is it bad to think that cuz i feel my marriage is a little early in my life :o that there might be someone better out there?


there is always better people out there, the question is are you satisfied with you have

some questions:

1) do you like the way he looks in the sense you find him attractive?
2) do you love his companionship and love talking with him?
3) do you feel there is a special bond between you and him?
4) do you love the feeling you get when you think you will spend your whole life with him?


that by getting married now im losing that chance of meeting someone more suitable? :o:o


you can find someone super handsome and good qualities, and there can be someone you can meet even more handsome and better qualities plus super rich, there is always "chance"

don't use that to justify not marrying him, if you don't want to marry him, it should because you don't want to marry him and are not satisfied with him

and when i say sastified, i mean in the sense because of the attraction, and because you find him attractive and love his company and love him, it's not big deal if there is a "better person" out there for you

am i the only person who thinks that and does that make me a bad person :o:o:o


*sigh* :(


actually i dont even know wat i want...


let's suppose you do know what you want and what you want is not get married with this man, will you go through with it?

the dishonor thing is very important to you, and this has been 4 years engagement, and your parents will get upset, and there will be a lot of criticism on you and even maybe your family, and you care about that

but maybe not that you just care, maybe your also afraid of it, maybe your in awe of it and it would take a lot of courage to say no now 5 months before marriage after 4 years engagement

besides that is guilty feeling towards him, you feel you doing something wrong to him because it's been 4 years engagement

if you not wanting to marry him, it's more then the whole meant to be stuff and more then if there is better person thing you mentioning, you want to make decision that to be sure of decision say it was always meant to be, I think that's not a good way to think

over here, no1 knows him personally like the way you do

no1 can tell you if you should or shouldn't marry him, only you know that

they can tell you though excuses like "are we chosen" or "maybe better person out there" are not valid excuses and reasons, but they can't tell you if you should or shouldn't marry him

but people can tell you if you should sacrifice yourself for pleasing family which in my opinion you shouldn't do if it was the case that you don't want to marry him but feel obliged to do so for above reasons, which brings the next question:

can u make a marriage work even if ur not happy in it?


if your not satisfied with the person, it will be very very tough and no1 should marry a person they not happy with

i think im preparing for the worst? is that bad? in my defense, ive never got married before so uhh yeah i dont know

I don't know either anymore :(

*sigh*

here is what your going to do.

You have five months and still have time so your 1) gonna calm down for now.

2) Ask God to make you know best decision to take. Knowing is not guessing at random things, it's you knowing for sure out of knowledge, what you should do.

To get that knowledge, you need to stop listening to Waswas of Sayateen, and to do that, you need to seek refuge in God.

so 3) seek refuge in God, Turn to God a lot these five months, ask forgiveness, repent, and read Quran a lot.

4) talk with him a lot, get as much company with him as possible, then see and decide about him, you will know your decision, you won't say "yes" to nikah when not knowing, it won't happen, you will know, and Allah (swt) has given you the right to decide till that very last moment

if you really unsure about him, then in my view, it's best to marry someone your sure about then to take a chance

but just put in mind you will be delaying marriage again and delaying a mercy and blessing, so it's best you try to get sure about him as fast as possible and who knows, you might be so sure about him in a few months - just calm down now and inshallah things will be ok

[Zesty]

Arrghhh too much analysis! Gucci- go with your heart it wont ever lie to you BUT think with your head aswell. I really really would recommend you do Istikhara again! Istikhara can be prayed again you know- maybe it will help make things clearer.

[(*_Hamzah]

Your not even married yet and already your suffering from post marriage syndrome blues, Gucci keep your husband happy, and he will be happy, and his in-laws and that equals your happiness

[GuCcI]

i think gucci is paranoid :p

[Abu Mus'ab]

i think gucci is paranoid :p
I think so too :|

[MustBePatient]

Feeling better?

[Mujib]

Marriage eh. love between husband and wife. sacrifice, compromise, forgiveness, tolerance and all that other good stuff.

what makes a person happy in the marriage... i used to think it would be luxury furniture and grand food shared together by a man and woman.

but even after having pretty clothes, sparkly jewellry and every other material thing desireable, its not enough to make a person happy. is it cuz this person is so greedy and has it all theres nothing new anymore? its cuz theres something so much more important than that in a marriage no? we know what it is - love, understanding, committment...

but you love your partner, thats why ur married right? share a bond and stuff. theres definite care for each other so theres love. but whats missing? - dont say baby.

seriously though, whats missing if all the material stuff dont satisfy and even though both care for & love each other theres still a feeling of emptiness inside?
is it because of fights? no one likes to fight, but should it leave u feeling depressed inside? or is this a normal feeling to have :confused:

or is it sooo abnormal that one should see a psychiatrist :rubeyes:

after all the love and care and pretty stuff why should someone still be unhappy? is it normal to be happy most of the time and sad for part of it?

*gucci's so out of it*

are our partners already chosen for us? ive been told so...

so that chosen partner is who we will end up with for sure? There's no way to end up with an "unchosen" person? the person u end up with is the person you're MEANT to be with? can you end up with someone ur not meant to be with? am i repeating myself in different words?

is it possible that ur actually suppossed to be with one person but end up with someone else?

what's this true love business? is it just some fantasy made by media or does it exist? how do you know if it is? is everyone suppossed to experience it? are you suppossed to feel that way about your husband or wife? is it wrong not to feel that way? what if u dont even believe in a "true love" :confused:

*poor little gucci is so confused*


yeah i dont know wat im talking about- - *high*




Poor little gucci! well if you think marriage is all about furniture then you need to get your head tested! Seems to me you may be on the materialistic side, which is not a good thing.
Some sincere advice (not that I am married)
I believe marriage is built on understanding, trust, love and maybe good looks :D
Having a nice pad, flashy car, money, all this does not bring happiness, i would rather have a wife whos like me, praying 5 times a day, modest, and would not mind if we lived in a government house (you get good one's these days). When you die, Allah wont ask you, so gucci, how many houses did you have? how many cars, did it have air conditioning? what kind of clothes did you wear? He will ask, did you keep up with your prayers? did you read the quran? were you good to your parents? honest, trusthworthy etc etc!

[fisabilllillah]

sis, my advice is to study the lives of the ummatil mumaneen....u will find the true ingredients of marriage there....:up:

seriously, dont get confused from posts that u have read and ur judgemnts informed by such posts which will give u little insight and u will gain little or if any benefit from pther peoples negative opinions bout marriage , and to be honest u need to understand that marriage is perfect if you follow the wisdom from the quran and sunnah. The rest is tawakal allah and that is evident on the lives of ASishah ra , zainab ra, umm habibah ra...subhanallah. Dont worry sis...just butterflies and the dunya trying to turn u away from fulfilling half of ur deen. Marraige is pleasure and closeness to Allah. the best advice is to study the wives of the prophets saw and their relationship with the prophet saw if you truly want to know the meaning of marriage and how it shud really be done.

[Umm 'Umarah]

sis, my advice is to study the lives of the ummatil mumaneen....u will find the true ingredients of marriage there....:up:

seriously, dont get confused from posts that u have read and ur judgemnts informed by such posts which will give u little insight and u will gain little or if any benefit from pther peoples negative opinions bout marriage , and to be honest u need to understand that marriage is perfect if you follow the wisdom from the quran and sunnah. The rest is tawakal allah and that is evident on the lives of ASishah ra , zainab ra, umm habibah ra...subhanallah. Dont worry sis...just butterflies and the dunya trying to turn u away from fulfilling half of ur deen. Marraige is pleasure and closeness to Allah. the best advice is to study the wives of the prophets saw and their relationship with the prophet saw if you truly want to know the meaning of marriage and how it shud really be done.

Subhan'Allah. :jkk: excellent advice.

[zammy]

leave it to gucci to compare men to handbags :rotfl:
don't stress it sis..whatever happens..HAPPENS.
at the end of the day, you're not in control.
You prayed istikhara you made your desicion..now let destiny take it's due course. It's not as depressing and stressful as your making it out to be..all you have to do is sit there and look pretty doncha know? ..:scratch:

[Suliman]

...grand food shared together by a man and woman.

Now we're talking!! :up:

[miss-islamic]

Most of our parents didn’t know each other until the wedding day. It’s not something I would advocate but give that most of them survived and some have very strong marriages, it's something to keep in mind when thinking about the whole “Love” and “The One” business.

[MustBePatient]

at the end of the day, you're not in control.


we humans been given a lot of control and at the end, she has a lot of control.

[LastFriday]

Asalamalikum.

What you must remember as Muslims is that everything is already decided. Even if you get married...suffer horribily form physical or mental abuse...and then get divorced...maybe even get remarried -WHAT EVER HAPPENS IS MEANT TO HAPPEN. Whether good or bad :up: It's not up to us to decide what we want and all live cushy little lives. The hard parts in our lives are the character building parts and the times when we show and often enhance our Imaan :)

Another thing to remember is that you don't just fall into a good marriage, you have to build one. The first few years everyone agrees are hard, but then you start to come to an understanding and work together without even having to make a concious effort.
I can speak from experience...the first 1.5years of my marriage were down right miserable. Now I've been showered with all kinds of gifts but it's simple things my husband does that keep me happy, like watching a movie with me, making the odd cup of tea for me or just cracking a joke to make me smile. What good is all the 'bling' in the world if the person you're living with for the rewt of your life isn't going to be like a permanet best friend to you in the way the treat you? :rolleyes:
That's what husbands and wives are really....they're a best friend who is so close you consider them family :) Maybe you get so close inshallah that you consider them almost as an extention of your person.
Be careful though because you should never think your partner is the be-all-and-end-all because ultimately you should have more love for Allah T'ala and His Prophet than for any other human being :up:

And who's to say that the gap isn't because you want a child? Obviously you should try to build a strong foundation before you get other people involved in your life because you will need a united front to get by....but at the end of the day family IS important ;)

Very good advice indeed....:up:

[LastFriday]

ok so heres how it is:

some of you, your posts are so great and make me feel better... and gets me thinking yeah thats right...

and then theres the rest of you, who, i guess are trying but either leave me:

a.) more confused/sad?
or
b.) feel like :torture:

but, ive figured out some stuff cuz u all i guess contributed something one way or another :hidban:

- yep gucci sad :( --- but only sometimes!!!
-> but why? even gucci doesnt know.... :confused:
- gucci overthinking --- not healthy!
-> but only cuz there are no answers to the tougher questions

is it bad to think that cuz i feel my marriage is a little early in my life :o that there might be someone better out there? that by getting married now im losing that chance of meeting someone more suitable? :o:o am i the only person who thinks that and does that make me a bad person :o:o:o actually i dont even know wat i want...

this whole thing to me now is like... shoe shopping. im never absolutely sure about which pair i want and then i always second guess my self. the way to fix it: buy both pairs! or u can buy the other pair later... and have a collection and then have matching handbags :love:

but u cant have more than one man! :rubeyes: and u cant exchange or return your husband either! and you cant buy a handbag to match him :(


can u make a marriage work even if ur not happy in it? i think im preparing for the worst? is that bad? in my defense, ive never got married before so uhh yeah i dont know

=(....Same. I'm going through a similar situation right now.... =\ And I really don't know If I'm making the right choice or not....I keep thinking to my self...is She it? Should I wait....will she wait? What to do What to DO!

[Abu Mus'ab]

^ there is only one thing to do, make istikhara, that way you cannot be misled.

[Zesty]

^ there is only one thing to do, make istikhara, that way you cannot be misled.

:torture: copycat!

[Abu Mus'ab]

:torture: copycat!
ehhh when have you said that? :rubeyes:

[Zesty]

ehhh when have you said that? :rubeyes:

Post 73 :torture:

[Abu Mus'ab]

Post 73 :torture:
I'm too lazy to go back a page to read it :|

[GuCcI]

^ there is only one thing to do, make istikhara, that way you cannot be misled.

yeah well been there did that and was left more confused than ever.

[Abu Mus'ab]

yeah well been there did that and was left more confused than ever.
You're not making istikhara properly then :nono:

[MustBePatient]

yeah well been there did that and was left more confused than ever.

maybe you know but just find it hard to act upon that knowledge?

[GuCcI]

You're not making istikhara properly then :nono:

probably...

maybe you know but just find it hard to act upon that knowledge?

wah?

[~Unity~]

wah?

Basically he is saying, get married and shurrrrup :p

[Abu Mus'ab]

probably...



wah?
not probably, it's true :nono:

you see istikhara is asking Allah to help you in your decision, if you say your istikhara is 'wrong' or made you more confused then it's a very very big huge massive no no :nono: i assume you can guess why.

[$HugoBoss$]

not probably, it's true :nono:

you see istikhara is asking Allah to help you in your decision, if you say your istikhara is 'wrong' or made you more confused then it's a very very big huge massive no no :nono: i assume you can guess why.

It could be the shaytan trying to trick her as well.

[MustBePatient]

wah?

maybe you did it right before, maybe you got the answer, maybe things later made it more confusing, just think back

anyways - you can do it again because maybe different things happened, and best decision is not the same anymore

also you can't set time limits for istakhara, you have to patiently wait to know and be ready to submit to best decision

[MustBePatient]

not probably, it's true :nono:

you see istikhara is asking Allah to help you in your decision, if you say your istikhara is 'wrong' or made you more confused then it's a very very big huge massive no no :nono: i assume you can guess why.

no istakhara means you asking God to make you know what is best decision

not making conclusions on feeling or thoughts (including confusing ones)

[GuCcI]

not probably, it's true :nono:

you see istikhara is asking Allah to help you in your decision, if you say your istikhara is 'wrong' or made you more confused then it's a very very big huge massive no no :nono: i assume you can guess why.

It could be the shaytan trying to trick her as well.

maybe you did it right before, maybe you got the answer, maybe things later made it more confusing, just think back

anyways - you can do it again because maybe different things happened, and best decision is not the same anymore

also you can't set time limits for istakhara, you have to patiently wait to know and be ready to submit to best decision


ORRIte thanks guys for confusing me to the max :confused:

[LastFriday]

not probably, it's true :nono:

you see istikhara is asking Allah to help you in your decision, if you say your istikhara is 'wrong' or made you more confused then it's a very very big huge massive no no :nono: i assume you can guess why.

Right but, often if we are excessively infatuated and make istikhara, wouldn't we see what we WANT to see? But you are right, some times its hard to accept the truth. But I mean...I dunno what I mean, i'm confused :confused:

[MustBePatient]

if you like his personality and you attracted to him physically and love his company, then marry him.

if not to any of those things, then don't. forget everything else, take it out of the equation.

not saying easy decision, but don't complicate with other stuff. Make it this question, and that's it.

[GuCcI]

i think.. im just scared

[~Unity~]

i think.. im just scared

Looool, finally a breakthrough. You are scared and nervous, which is completely normal.

[MustBePatient]

i think.. im just scared

make it that question and don't worry about rest

I got to go for now

hopefully you alright now :) hopefully it will stay like that

[afsalim]

i think.. im just scared

Sis don't be. As you know that I'm also getting married, in a month inshAllah. I'm also getting cold feet. I keep on wondering what if I'm making a mistake, what if she start treating my family and me like trash, what if I can't make her happy, etc. But at the end I try to live by my own principles and leave the rest to the almighty.

[Suliman]

My general moral is the more you think over something the more jaded and confused you get.

Just go with your gut feeling and be done with it :D

[GuCcI]

Looool, finally a breakthrough. You are scared and nervous, which is completely normal.

My general moral is the more you think over something the more jaded and confused you get.

Just go with your gut feeling and be done with it :D


didnt see these replies :o

no now im thinking wat if he doesnt love me after marriage like he says he does now?

wat if he changes for worse after marriage?

then wat?

this is like a gamble :o

[Irfan GBH]

didnt see these replies :o

no now im thinking wat if he doesnt love me after marriage like he says he does now?

wat if he changes for worse after marriage?

then wat?

this is like a gamble :o

Now you're being silly, just make dua'a and get on with it before you get fat and wrinkly.

[muslimma]

Now you're being silly, just make dua'a and get on with it before you get fat and wrinkly.

and too old........:rolleyes: