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wazza
23-01-08, 11:08 AM
As the title says must a divorced woman remarry?

I have come across many divorced women, with children aged between 10 and 16 and with a least one girl, finding difficulty finding suitable partners. It appears no man wants to take the responsibility of looking after her children especially if she has a daughter. Probaly the cost of marrying her daughter would put him off.

We know there is an ideal partner for her out there but it is a matter of finding him. She can marry a man from Pakistan but she will know he is only marrying her so that he can come to UK.

She feels she will be happier not looking after a partner and just concentrate on bringing her children up.

elji
23-01-08, 11:28 AM
I believe that Islam totally allows that. Divorcee women dont have to marry again and can decide to look after their children instead.

Kal-El
23-01-08, 11:29 AM
A woman doesn't need to marry. I know of many women who've raised children, from ranging ages, and have provided for them and herself mashallah. I'm sure that they feel times can be hard for them personally, or even for the family, but I doubt most feel a "need" to marry because of that.

My mother's raised our family without any male intervention.

parwaaz
23-01-08, 12:26 PM
i understand if a divorced woman who has children does not want to marry, because she has her children and they have her to count on.they can try and lead life as a unit without a 'father' if he is not there.

however, if a woman has no children and is a divorcee.She is able to take care of herself financially(ie not a financial burden on others) and does not want to re-marry because of what she has been through.Is it Ok for her to not to re-marry while she is living with her parents/brothers or is it compulsory for her to re-marry?

elji
23-01-08, 12:51 PM
I once again believe that she has a right to not marry if she dosent want to.

Deeds
23-01-08, 12:54 PM
:salams

Hope this helps.

Praise be to Allaah.

We will look briefly at what some of the Muslim fuqahaa’ have written on this topic. In Mawaahib al-Jaleel it was said: “Marriage is obligatory for a woman who is unable to feed or clothe herself unless she gets married.” In al-Sharh al-Kabeer, concerning obligatory marriage it says: “If a person fears that he may commit fornication, it (marriage) is obligatory on him.” In Fath al-Wahhaab, it says: “For the woman who has (physical) desires, marriage is sunnah, just as it is for the one who needs maintenance and the one who fears being taken advantage of by immoral persons.”

In Mughni al-Muhtaaj, it says: “(Marriage) becomes waajib (obligatory) if a person fears fornication… And it was said that it becomes obligatory if a person has made a vow (nadhr) to get married.” Then concerning the ruling with regard to women: “If she needs to get married, i.e., she has physical desires, or needs maintenance, or she is afraid that immoral people may take advantage of her… it is preferable (mustahabb) for her to get married, because this will protect her religion and her chastity, and she can enjoy what her husband spends on her, and other advantages.”

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Mughni: “Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste (i.e. get married). This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”

When it comes to marriage, people are of three types, one of which is those who fear that they may commit forbidden deeds if they do not get married. It is obligatory for such people to get married, according to the majority of fuqahaa’, because it is obligatory for them to make themselves chaste and protect themselves from haraam. In Subul al-Salaam it says: “Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eed said that some of the fuqahaa’ said that marriage is obligatory for the one who fears sin or hardship (because of suppressing physical desires) and is able to marry… and it is obligatory for the one who cannot avoid fornication unless he gets married.”

In Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, it says: “There is no dispute that marriage is an obligation when desire is strong. If a person has such a strong desire for women that he cannot be patient, and he can afford to pay the mahr (dowry) and support a wife, then if he does not get married, he is a sinner.”

From the above discussion, we can see a number of situations in which marriage is obligatory. You might ask: “How can we imagine a woman fulfilling this obligation when usually it is the man who goes around knocking on doors looking for a partner? This is not the woman’s role.” The answer is: what a woman can do to fulfil this command is not to refuse marriage when a suitable, compatible man comes with an offer of marriage.

Muslim women and men need to understand the high status which marriage has in Islam, so that they will be more keen to marry. There follows a useful summary on this topic by Imaam Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allaah have mercy on him), from his book al-Mughni:

The basis of the legitimacy of marriage is the Qur’aan, Sunnah and ijmaa’ (consensus of the scholars). In the Qur’aan, Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): ‘… marry women of your choice, two or three, or four…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:3] and ‘And marry those among you who are single and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves)…’ [al-Noor 24:32]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for this will lower his gaze and protect his chastity. Whoever cannot (get married), then let him fast, for fasting will be a protection for him.” (Agreed upon). There are many other ayaat and reports like these. The Muslims agree that marriage is legitimate.

Ibn Mas’ood said: “If I only had ten days left to live, and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I was able to get married, I would do so, for fear of fitnah (temptation).”

Ibn ‘Abbaas said to Sa’eed ibn Jubayr: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are those who have more wives.” Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: “Taawoos said to me: ‘Either you get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: There is nothing stopping you from getting married but either impotence or immorality!’ According to al-Mirwadhi, Ahmad said: ‘Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. Whoever calls you not to get married is calling you to something other than Islam.’”

Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him):

The benefits of marriage are many. They include: protecting one’s religion and helping one to adhere to it; protecting and taking care of women; and producing offspring and increasing the ranks of the ummah, thus achieving the pride of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), etc. [Translator’s note: there is a hadeeth which indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will feel proud of the large numbers of his ummah in the Hereaster, so Muslims are encouraged to marry and have many children.]

It should now be clear that the benefits of marriage are many. No wise Muslim woman would hesitate to get married, especially if an offer of marriage comes from a person who is strongly committed to Islam and is possessed of a good character and morals.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Ebony
23-01-08, 01:43 PM
I know women who were divorced/widowed when their children were really young. They didn't re-marry because they couldn't deal with the hassle and despite receiving offer, they didnt want to re-marry so didn.t

neelu
23-01-08, 06:14 PM
She can if she wants to, but doesn't have to if she doesn't want to. It's a valid choice either way. I do think however that if a divorcee chooses to remarry, this should be made easier for her as in Islam there is no stigma for a woman who divorces for legitimate reasons but among Muslims there is a stigma because many in their thinking are veering towards the backwardness of the Pagan Arabs and mushrikeen (which ironically Islam came to eradicate).

afsalim
23-01-08, 06:26 PM
She doesn't have to unless she wants to. If she has the education and career to take care of herself and possibly her kids.....

Treasured Soul
23-01-08, 07:39 PM
Leave it up to the lady and her circumstances.

MustBePatient
24-01-08, 04:45 AM
Marriage becomes obligatory when there is fear of sinning.

smile_2008
26-01-08, 02:49 PM
its not all about marriages there is something else as well in this world look after kids lol and make them good muslims :hidban::hidban::hidban::hidban::hidban::hidban: