dealing with miscarriage

[muslimma]

how do you console someone who has a miscarriage? i mean its really hard cos i dont really show emotion and when i found out i was like ermmmm. oh okay...:o

i must have looked well heartless but i dunno what to say man

i was upset thou obliviously :crying:

any ideas???

[Nazias]

What ever happens is due to the will of Allah(swt) and though it is a sad thing, there is hikmah. We are in this life to be tested and this is just one of those tests and Insha'allah the child will act as a shield for her when it matters in the Aakhira. She should make dua to Allah(swt) grant her pious children in both this life and the aakhira.

[muslimma]

What ever happens is due to the will of Allah(swt) and though it is a sad thing, there is hikmah. We are in this life to be tested and this is just one of those tests and Insha'allah they should make dua to Allah(swt) grant her pious children in both this life and the aakhira.

jk ukhti :crying:

[MFT]

In addition to the obvious Qur'an and Hadith people post on such issues. Here is an excellent article: Coping with Miscarriage (http://www.muslimfamilytoday.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=128&PN=1)

[MG]

my cuz has just had a miscarriage and i have been telling her the hadith about what happens to babies that are miscarried, how they will come on the day of judgement and intercess for their parents to Allah swt, the child will lead them there by his/her placenta :inlove:

also how although it is a difficult thing to deal with, when Prophet SAW told the sahabah his hadith, they prayed for such a thing to happen to them, i.e becos the reward was so much!


Miscarriage is a very very difficult thing, especially if u had bonded with the baby.

I also told my that her child is playing with the Prophet Ibrahim AS right now!

subhanallah these things can help ease the grief.

May allah swt make it easy for those who suffer this test ameen

[MG]

Sis here is the hadith :

In the Musnad of `Abd ibn Humayd from Mu`adh, the Prophet SAW : “No two Muslims lost three children except Allah will cause the two parents to enter Paradise through the favor of His mercy toward them.” They said, “What about two, Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Two also.” They said, “And one?” He said, “[Even] the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother [and father, see below] with its umbilical cord to Paradise!”


The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, “The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, ‘O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.’ Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise.”
Ibn Majah and Abu Ya`la from `Ali.

And again, “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense [for SABR].”
Ibn Majah and Ahmad from Mu`adh

[muslimma]

jk u have all bin very helpful

:love: 2 u all :inlove:

w'salam

[muhammed_1428]

jk u have all bin very helpful

:love: 2 u all :inlove:

w'salam


Now go back to that sister and give her a big hug! :p

[ummbilal]

its a very hard thing, but as a sister you must be there for her and remind her that everything is the will of Allah,

Allah has simply taken back what is His, this child is blessed as it will never suffer the pangs of dunya life, this child is in heaven with the Prophet Ibrahim as , and his wife and many other children, this child stayed pure and will be there to greet you when you die, what a blessing, and yet such pain, any mother who has felt a child inside even for just a few months knows the fear that is always in your head that Allah will take this from you, while Allah knows whats best for us and we pray inshaallah he gives us whats best for us and never more than we can bear, it still hurts.

be there with her and dont leave her alone too much, 3 days is the grieving period but she'll feel sad for a very long time.

Allahu alam.

Inshaallah I pray we are all given tests we can bear and nothing that will burden our souls too much, I pray for forgiveness for myself and the Muslims everywhere and for us to be united in Jannah.

amin.

[MG]

i got the following from sunnipath when someone asked why a woman miscarries a child:

Loss is about the servant's SABR and the Creator's LOVE. Allah Most High desires to love a person through their patient endurance as He said: {And Allah loves the saabirin} (3:146) and He is with them, supporting them: {Truly, Allah is with the saabirin} (2:153, 2:249, 8:46, 8:66).

The Prophet said, upon him peace, "A person may not have the high level Allah desires for them due to shortcoming in their deeds, so Allah does not stop trying them with duress which they hate, until He makes them reach it."
Sahih Ibn Hibban, Musnad Abu Ya`la.


But he also said to the woman that was mad with grief, "SABR is only upon the first shock." In the 6 Books.


Time brings solace but the first shock is the test as it naturally inspires rebellion against the Divine decree.

[UmmAayman]

how do you console someone who has a miscarriage? i mean its really hard cos i dont really show emotion and when i found out i was like ermmmm. oh okay...:o

i must have looked well heartless but i dunno what to say man

i was upset thou obliviously :crying:

any ideas???


I think that it can be really common for women to have no instant feelings when told they ahve miscarried. especially in the early days you haven't felt the baby kick or anything. it doesn't mean your a robot! :up:

when i had my 1st son, i didn't really feel attachment to him until he was a few days old. i loved being around him but the feelings grow over the hours not straight away.

and alhumdulilah mayou know this is from Allah andthat he will inshaAllah help you to get pregnant once your body has recoverd amin.

xxx

[muslimma]

Now go back to that sister and give her a big hug! :p

OK BRO...:)

big hug for MG and Nazias and UmmI B :inlove::inlove::inlove:


and alhumdulilah mayou know this is from Allah andthat he will inshaAllah help you to get pregnant once your body has recoverd amin.
xxx

ME..? :rubeyes: :scratch:

[the_middle_road]

كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لا تَعْلَمُونَ



Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.

(2: 216)

[hkrespect]

asalamu alaikum wr

a woman i know recently had a miscarriage. she now thinks she has been harmed by "the shadow" and thinks this harm will rub off on the children she teaches. i think they call it "pershawa" in pahari/mirpuri language.

it is like when a fruit tree bares no fruit, they say it has pershawa.

superstition or some truth to it?

ws

[BubbleGum]

Now go back to that sister and give her a big hug! :p

That is what you should do. My wife and I have had two miscarriages. The best thing to do is offer condolences.

These days we have home pregnancy tests so you can learn that you are pregnant when you miss menses. In the olden days, you would miss a cycle or two, then have a heavy menses and never know you had been pregnant.

~Bub

[ummbilal]

asalamu alaikum wr

a woman i know recently had a miscarriage. she now thinks she has been harmed by "the shadow" and thinks this harm will rub off on the children she teaches. i think they call it "pershawa" in pahari/mirpuri language.

it is like when a fruit tree bares no fruit, they say it has pershawa.

superstition or some truth to it?

ws

is she refering to a shaitan? or the evil eye?

it sounds like superstition to me but Allahu alam, people like to ba able to blame sad things on something, to accept thet she miscarried for a simple reason or medical reason and that it was "noones fault" might be hard for her.

[MG]

Abu Hurairah RA related that the Messenger of Allah SAW said, "The children of the believers are in a mountain in paradise. Ibraheem AS and Sarah take care of them until He returns them to their parents on the Day Of Ressurection."

Related by Al-Baihaqee