Confused

[Alittlehelpplz]

Hi there,

I'm in a very confused situation at the moment.

I recently joined a muslim singles site, just to look at the potential guys on the site. I didn't think I'd find anyone. Two weeks ago, I recieved a message from this one guy and we exchanged email adds, so we began talking over msn. Me being the most negative person in the world, I didn't see anything happening between us, but since that day, we spoke practically everyday for those two weeks.

It's weird, after only two weeks of speaking, I've grown to like him more and more and would actually consider pursuing it further. But I have a feeling he does not want to anymore. We spoke yesterday, and he confided in me that he was having some family troubles, stress at work etc.

I have been praying and basically I'm just waiting around....

Is it silly to start liking someone after only two weeks of speaking to them? Is it a sign that something may progress.. I'm very confused

[Pro_Candy]

It's easy to get attached quickly to someone over the net. You feel like you've gotten to know them in a short period of time. But really, all you know is what they've decided to tell you, and even then you can't be sure if it's the truth or not.

Relationships can develop quickly this way, but you're lucky if both of you have good intentions. It seems, more times than not, this is not always the case.

These sites are dangerous really. You don't know who you are talking to. You don't know how many other women they are talking to (or 'playing'). Only way to be safe, is to get to know the person in person, get to know their family, friends, people who know them. And even then, doing a background check wouldn't be a bad idea.

[PinkorBlue]

Try praying Istikhara inshallah and be patient. These things take time.

[Qiyas]

Hi there,

I'm in a very confused situation at the moment.

I recently joined a muslim singles site, just to look at the potential guys on the site. I didn't think I'd find anyone. Two weeks ago, I recieved a message from this one guy and we exchanged email adds, so we began talking over msn. Me being the most negative person in the world, I didn't see anything happening between us, but since that day, we spoke practically everyday for those two weeks.

It's weird, after only two weeks of speaking, I've grown to like him more and more and would actually consider pursuing it further. But I have a feeling he does not want to anymore. We spoke yesterday, and he confided in me that he was having some family troubles, stress at work etc.

I have been praying and basically I'm just waiting around....

Is it silly to start liking someone after only two weeks of speaking to them? Is it a sign that something may progress.. I'm very confused

:salams Ukhti. I would suggest you doing Istikhaara, and also be careful. From what I have read, even talking via msn is free mixing (unless of course you have a mahram also present in the conversation). I'd suggest that if you feel that the Aakhi is a viable candidate for marriage, that you ask a mahram to contact him on your behalf, and find out how he feels, and work from there...

:jkk:

:salams

[Tranquillity]

Been there, done that and wouldn't again!

It's not silly to like someone after only two weeks of email conversation, but what you're liking isn't them- it's the self they're portraying on the net. Sometimes they'll actually be like this in real life, most of the time though they won't.
Think about it realistically- on those sites so many people look like a decent catch, in real life how many people do you know who are? It isn't being cynical, it's a fact.
I do know some people who have met perfectly decent people though such sites, but none that actually married them because they felt that the person had misrepresented themselves. ON THE NET YOU CAN BE THE YOU THAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE, NOT THE YOU YOU ACTUALLY ARE!
Personally I would advise you to just cut your losses and forget about him. If you're getting the feeling he doesn't want to get married, he probably doesn't but wants to let you down gently. Have some dignity and don't let it drag out any further!

[sister ltd]

to all the cynics out there...have you actually read the success stories on these sites? If what you are saying is true, either the site is making them up or else all these people have marriages that are doomed to failure. I've been a member too but I deleted myself because I just didn't come across anyone that I felt was suitable or have the time to 'search'. There are weirdos and players for sure but you soon latch onto whose genuine and whose not. Grant the sister some intelligence.

I would say be patient. Pray istikhara. And don't rush into something that is probably the biggest decision you make in your life.