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abuzayd
03-01-08, 11:56 AM
salam. THis is my first posting:up:
I met this Muslim sister some time ago and we became friends. I suspected from the beginning that she would like to marry me. (Now before i go on, i have to say i have not been very free with ladies in the past and so when we met and she was OK i really liked her). Our friendship continued and then there was a time she sent me an SMS like this (i ... u) which of course means i love u. Later i also told her i loved her and i asked her what next. she said marriage. But i had made her know that i was not ready for marriage now (at least until about 2 years time). Though after that i tried to see if we could be maybe we could sustain a relationship (mind you nothing haram - just calling each other). Later i felt it might be difficult for me so i told her to lets pause the relationship while i try to seek for whats best. She feels she does not have time to wait.

The main problem is this that at times when i think of her, i feel that i might not find someone with qualities i like in her.

Please advice me.

I have put this down in a jumbled form but if you need any further clarification to advice me, feel free to ask and i'll try to provide.

Tranquillity
03-01-08, 05:40 PM
Make istikara and then see how you feel. Trust your instincts, not your head in matters such as these. Ask Allah to grant you that which is best for your Deen.
A lot of the time we know deep down what the best thing to do is, but we often fool ourselves. Thoughts can be confusing so go with your heart, and in future I would advise that you're a bit less free with expressing your feelings. I have no doubt that you felt a strong liking for this girl and she for you, but this does not constitute love.
Insh'Allah things will work out for you both.