Assalamalikum

[Please do dua]

Dear brothers and sisters I hope you are all in the best of health and emaan, inshallah. I have been having a problem for the past few months which is making me quite stressed and upset. I am 23 years old and married with a beautifull child, Alhamdulillah. I have a cousin who is married to my sister and he has been acting very strange with me.

he has become cold with me and doesn not speak to me often, i was a strong person before but people have really put me down with the affect of hasad/black magic which is almost cured alhamdulillah. i live with my parents and my family and he lives next door.

i try to talk to him be kind to his as a muslim brother should be but sometimes he acts so cold with me which makes me very upset and makes me feel loonely. I had two elder brothers whom became lovable to Allah Tallah..and I really got on well with him before.

I thik it all started when I married out of the family from Pakistan and ever since their whole family members seem to be jealous of some sort.they are very close relatives.

because of the hasad i have been off work since november and had a operation which was unplanned, ever since then i have been feeling down docots have prescribed me sleeping tablets as i am unable to sleep and also anti depressents i have not used either as i belive all cures are from Allah alone. I did used to be very strong in emman but belive over the past 6 months or so i have been slipping away,,,,not committing in haraam but not praying and rembering my Allah as i should be. I am a registred member on this beatulful forum but do not want to reveal my identiity.

I ask you brothers and sisters for some advice. I have confronted my brother in law and asked him why he is always quiet and why he has stopped visiting our house but he says everything is fine...but deep down I know he is nto happy with me for some reason. at least Allah will see that I have tried to take a step to end this problem but everyday its getting worse.

i know there are more people in nthis duniya that are in need of your duas but if you get time please do dua for me since loosing my brothers i have become very loonely..am grateful to Allah that he has granted me a very good life partner alhamdulillah.

jazakallah khair for reading this and i apologise if this is too long for you.

Assalamlaikum.

[Um_yusuf]

Salaam brother

I hope and pray that InshAllah you find peace and that you and your cousin , once again become close like brothers ameen

[Medievalist]

My advice is to ignore this behaviour. Sometimes in-laws/relatives act childish or funnay with us but let it pass if its nothing major.

[Noor_Usman]

Asalamalikum.

Ahhh the joys of family :rolleyes:

In all seriousness Brother, I hope that this matter is resolved for you as it is not nice :( But I agree that since you have made steps to try and resolve the issue and your cousin just doesn't seem interested then you have effectively done your part and now it'll all on him. You just need to remain plesent when you see and speak to him and you will have nothing to fear from Allah T'ala. In the mean time try not to let it get you down. Build your confidence up knowing that you are obviously a more honest person by confronting the issue.

Families are like this all over the world. I only know my direct in laws, I'm not really allowed to meet other members. Luckily there's only a few members here in the UK anyway but I do come across them sometimes as my husbands cousin is married to the brother of one of our friends :rolleyes: So if their visiting at the same time as us I see her......and trust me she DOESN'T LIKE ME AT ALL! :rubeyes:
I've done nothing wrong! :rolleyes: Basically it's the 2nd time where her family has not been able to marry the guy of their choosing from my husbands side (I believe they were close and inter-marrying before from what I've been told) so I am hated for no other reason than this cousin thinks that one of her sisters should have married my husband not me and her mum was the one rejected the first time around :rolleyes: (she did still marry in just to a different brother)

So chin up Brother! :D most of the time they have petty reasons for behaving badly to us. As long as we know we've done nothing wrong we have nothing to fear :up:

[Asmara]

Don't take any notice of his behaviour, whether good or bad. Always remain polite towards him and extend your greetings to him. Be friendly regardless of everything. May Alla cure you as well inshaAllah.

[Um_yusuf]

Salaam brother

I hope and pray that InshAllah you find peace and that you and your cousin , once again become close like brothers ameen

salaam again

Sorry sis , got the wrong end of the stick...again:o
I hope things get better with you family soon InshAllah, your in my du'as

[please do dua]

Jazakallah khair for all your replies, and may Allah Tallah help me ameeen

[Deeds]

:salams

The sooner you start praying again and making dua for yourself, the quicker you will gain success in your time of trials. :insha:

Brother I would suggest that you find religious brothers from the Mosque to keep you company. Not only will they help you to bring your imaan higher but they will not play any part in your family politics. :insha:

As for your BIL/cousin, maybe you can invite them as a family to your house once a week to keep close relations... this will help to restore your relationship and keeps close ties with your kin.

Sometimes it takes longer to build relationships which have parted through misunderstanding.

May Allah put ease in your affairs... grant you good health... keep your kin close... may He forgive us our sins.... have mercy on us and grant us all taqwa. Ameen.

[PiElle2]

showing concern and care for family members and fellow muslims is encouraged in the ummah. however, being muslimahs, we dun have to be over-friendly or over-concern with the brothers... esp if they are not your blood brothers. they are adults and should be able to look after themselves.

stop worrying and better take the free time you are given to look after your own health...:)

[Deeds]

May Alla cure you as well inshaAllah.

:salams

Just a reminder to my lovely sister that we shouldn't say "insha'Allah" when making du'a.


:up:

[Asmara]

:salams

Just a reminder to my lovely sister that we shouldn't say "insha'Allah" when making du'a.


:up:

Erm I think I've heard that before. What's the reason for that btw? Most people I know always say "inshaAllah" after making a dua.

[Deeds]

:salams

I made a topic about it Here. Please Click (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=153933)

Hope it helps. :insha:

[Arsalan]

I dont understand why your bothered by your cousins. I basically dont give a damn about mine. What is it to you?

Toughen up kid.

[*forever*]

salaam again

Sorry sis , got the wrong end of the stick...again:o
I hope things get better with you family soon InshAllah, your in my du'as


Aameen^^