A Golden Rule

[The Deen]

A GOLDEN RULE

Never submit to the obstinacy of your child regardless of his tantrums. To submit to his obstinacy and complying with his desires is to ruin him forever. Remember this. This is a golden rule.

(Hakimul Ummat Hadhrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi- rahmatullah alayh)

http://www.inkofscholars.com/inkofscholars.php?file=article.php&id=562

[ummbilal]

I disagree, the golden rule..The golden rule is always..


FEAR ALLAH

[dhakiyya]

he said a golden rule, not the golden rule :up:

but I agree with both of you anyway :)

[ummbilal]

he said a golden rule, not the golden rule :up:

but I agree with both of you anyway :)

oh ok!

a golden rule in our house, is...

when in doubt feed him(refering to any of our sons!

also we like

dont shop for it argos it.. as we've been ripped off before and same thing was half the price in argos!

[The Deen]

I disagree, the golden rule..The golden rule is always..


FEAR ALLAH

Definitely. But how about Love Allah too? http://the-deen.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=833

oh ok!

a golden rule in our house, is...

when in doubt feed him(refering to any of our sons!

also we like

dont shop for it argos it.. as we've been ripped off before and same thing was half the price in argos!

lol

[Medievalist]

May ALLAH Ta'ala shower His Choicest blessings on Hadrat Thanwi rahmatullahi ta'ala alayh. ameen

[zay_1982]

A GOLDEN RULE

Never submit to the obstinacy of your child regardless of his tantrums. To submit to his obstinacy and complying with his desires is to ruin him forever. Remember this. This is a golden rule.

(Hakimul Ummat Hadhrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi- rahmatullah alayh)

http://www.inkofscholars.com/inkofscholars.php?file=article.php&id=562

i dont understand lolz im so sorry can some one explain to me what u mean inshallah.

[.: Anna :.]

i dont understand lolz im so sorry can some one explain to me what u mean inshallah.

it means like when ur small child demands something, and has a tantrum don't give into what they ask because you ruin them.

i agree its a good advice :up:

[zay_1982]

yeah i agree but what if your by ur self and ur tired and they constantly going off like a drill then what do u do ignore them and go in to a different room?

if u do that to my lil nephew he just follows u and makes that face as if his been so badly beaten and there no hope cz he goes all red and stuff and he dont stop crying until u give him what he wants lolz.

[.: Anna :.]

the thing is when u give into them, they learn "i act like this and i get what i want" so you are creating a bad cycle for yourself in terms of their behaviour. if u are firm from the start, and let them know "i dont achieve anything by this" then they dont see the motivation.. of course kids act like that @ times and get whiny etc, but when they kno they will get the results, they use it as a manipulation. we have to teach instead that good behaviour is the way to get ur rewards, attention and everything.. not by throwing an annoying tantrum.
you can use some techniques like naughty spot, time out etc.. and all these super nanny type things they seem effective?
also when they are good then encourage it with good words, attention etc... then they feel less of a need to act up like that?
when they get into a pattern of that kind of behaviour, making a tantrum to get their own way and for attention, its hard to break it.. but giving into it makes it worse in the long run cos u send the wrong message. even tho u get peace and quiet in the short term by giving in, u are creating more trouble for urself in the long term and also for the child because they need to learn the right behaviour for life, to cooperate with others