??

[hertbrken]

salam...im just looking 4 some advice.....something that will help me focus on important things in life such as my deen..and education. basically i liked some1 wen i was at school, and this person liked me 2...fell in love..or whatever it was ....even though before i never belived in all this love crap...bcoz i knew there was no such thing as true love or wtevr. at that time i wasnt much practising, however 4 years later, this person and i promised alot such as marriage..and his family were good family freinds with mine i guess.
but now things have changed...we wanted to do eveything the halal way..u knw parents..marriage and al that..but stupid me never realised anything could go wrong, it was best 2 leave it bcoz his parents knew and they want him 2 stop chatting 2me..its my important year at college, and i have 2 work my socks of 2 get really good grades, i regret everything coz i thought it would actully lead 2 marriage and that. there was 1 point where i was supposed 2 tel my parents. bt i felt 2 pressured and 2 young, and i knew i wud b in 4 a hell lot of trouble..its bin quite a while nw and we dont speak ...im heartbroken...:( and i cnt du nefin about it..i cant 4get him..i cant hate him...i read duas and evruthing but nothings working,..alhumudillah my muslim sisters arnd me r helpin me..but if its not meant 2b whys it so hard 4 me 2 move on...i feel like im going crazy sometimes, because i shudnt b worrying about him...but i seriously dont knw wa 2du...i know we cant b 2gether...nd if i knew it wud hurt this much i wouldnt have fallen 4him..but i ges mayb its 4 the best coz Allah swt does take things away frm u that r bad bt u fink its gd...im trying 2 practice as much as i can bt he wont get out of my head:S....but i could really just do with some advice...im 2young 2 b goin through dis stress...i hate al this love crap cz it hurts 2 much...i pray and pray..and ask Allah 2 mke it easy 4 me 2 4get him and guide us both on the straight path, bt im still hurting. i hope no1 judges me or anything..but i could du with some advice...wsalam jk

[Wasteman]

Wag1

Gal itz al gd nw u hav tym to chill wiv ova m8s nd hav fun...and bout bein heartbroken, u cnt jst switch ur f3lingz on/off lyk a switch... it dnt wrk lyk dat... dun worry ull get ova him (eventually)

Ull end up wiv sum1 peng!

Bless

[hertbrken]

salam ppl, fanks wasteman!its not that easy tho! im shockd dt about 60 ppl hav viewed that thread... no1 els has put advic on!!:( all i need was confidence..dt luvin sum1 aint ryt...and islam is wa u gta focus on ...but ders no replies!! onli 1 !! well.. i would really appreciate it if my muslim bruvas or sister would give islamic any useful advic...coz no mata how much u tel urself...it neva wrks..always helps wen ppl say it 2 u!!
anyway jkallah khair 4 readin it ...wsalam

[hertbrken]

salam ppl, fanks wasteman!its not that easy tho! im shockd dt about 60 ppl hav viewed that thread... no1 els has put advic on!!:( all i need was confidence..dt luvin sum1 aint ryt...and islam is wa u gta focus on ...but ders no replies!! onli 1 !! well.. i would really appreciate it if my muslim bruvas or sisters would give islamic any useful advic...coz no mata how much u tel urself...it neva wrks..always helps wen ppl say it 2 u!!
anyway jkallah khair 4 readin it ...wsalam

[Nasibah]

Asalamu A'laikum ukhti,

Its wonderful that you are trying to practice now. May ALLAH make it easy for you and reward you immensely.

As for the situation with the brother, make du'a and increase your salah. Ask ALLAH to remove these thoughts from you and turn to him privately. If you have thoughts, its better not to verbalise them because shaydhan will magnify these "feelings".

I think you should listen to the quran-if you don't understand or speak arabic then get an english translation. Walahi it will cleanse your heart sister.

Attend lectures with your sisters in islam-you'll learn so much believe me.

In Islam, we are not allowed to freemix. It brings nothing but evil.

Thats all for now ukhti. Insha-ALLAH this humble advice would proof to be useful.

[Mullah_Din]

salam...im just looking 4 some advice.....something that will help me focus on important things in life such as my deen..and education. basically i liked some1 wen i was at school, and this person liked me 2...fell in love..or whatever it was ....even though before i never belived in all this love crap...bcoz i knew there was no such thing as true love or wtevr. at that time i wasnt much practising, however 4 years later, this person and i promised alot such as marriage..and his family were good family freinds with mine i guess.
but now things have changed...we wanted to do eveything the halal way..u knw parents..marriage and al that..but stupid me never realised anything could go wrong, it was best 2 leave it bcoz his parents knew and they want him 2 stop chatting 2me..its my important year at college, and i have 2 work my socks of 2 get really good grades, i regret everything coz i thought it would actully lead 2 marriage and that. there was 1 point where i was supposed 2 tel my parents. bt i felt 2 pressured and 2 young, and i knew i wud b in 4 a hell lot of trouble..its bin quite a while nw and we dont speak ...im heartbroken...:( and i cnt du nefin about it..i cant 4get him..i cant hate him...i read duas and evruthing but nothings working,..alhumudillah my muslim sisters arnd me r helpin me..but if its not meant 2b whys it so hard 4 me 2 move on...i feel like im going crazy sometimes, because i shudnt b worrying about him...but i seriously dont knw wa 2du...i know we cant b 2gether...nd if i knew it wud hurt this much i wouldnt have fallen 4him..but i ges mayb its 4 the best coz Allah swt does take things away frm u that r bad bt u fink its gd...im trying 2 practice as much as i can bt he wont get out of my head:S....but i could really just do with some advice...im 2young 2 b goin through dis stress...i hate al this love crap cz it hurts 2 much...i pray and pray..and ask Allah 2 mke it easy 4 me 2 4get him and guide us both on the straight path, bt im still hurting. i hope no1 judges me or anything..but i could du with some advice...wsalam jk

Its a shame that people get themselves in to this mess! The ONLY answer is segregation! I say this because as a scholar (servant of Allah Taa'la) I get a lot of similiar cases like yours! I'm NOT suggesting that love is wrong - please dear sis, do not get me wrong! But, quite often our parents mix culture, traditions with Islam! I would urge you to concentrate on your studies and become more active if Islam. Pray to Allah Taa'la that you get a suitable LIFE-TIME partner! Its not easy to forget - I appreciate that, but, you can only try!

Wassalaam,

[XRUHYX]

:salamssister

Hope you are feeling a bit better.

All I want to say is don't worry, he's not meant for you and you are right, you are not supposed to have a relationship with a guy before marriage, however if you are meant to be for that particular brother then you will be and nobody can stop that, not even his parents so just do everything the Islamic way so to be sure you are on the right side as if you aren't then Allah will not make it happen for you Inshallah and if it is good for you then he (SWT) will make it happen for you.

Sister the most important thing to you right now is ur education...beleive me u will not get these days again in ur life so make use of them. Once u lose on education and on the opportunity it's not easy to get it back and in some instances it is even impossible to get it back so focus on ur education first and make lots of dua to Allah and Inshallah we will do dua for you too.

Inshallah things will get better eventually and one day will come when he will be the last thing you remember but how quick it will happen depends on urself...you have to make sure u think about him the minimum you can, ..think it this way...whats the point of wasting ur time on something which will not benefit you and not only that it will more so it will effect your life in a negative way.

Inshallah everything will get better soon.

Wassalam

[Unregistered1]

Salaam dear sis!
I feel for you honestly:( I don't know what to say but it's going to take some time obviously and just keep yourself occupied with the remembrance of God and acts of worship.
Maybe you need to talk about everything from A-Z with someone you know well or trust to let it out verbally and so it's not just in your head and weighing you down.
Lots of love,

A sis

[Small Sis]

salam ppl, fanks wasteman!its not that easy tho! im shockd dt about 60 ppl hav viewed that thread... no1 els has put advic on!!:( all i need was confidence..dt luvin sum1 aint ryt...and islam is wa u gta focus on ...but ders no replies!! onli 1 !! well.. i would really appreciate it if my muslim bruvas or sisters would give islamic any useful advic...coz no mata how much u tel urself...it neva wrks..always helps wen ppl say it 2 u!!
anyway jkallah khair 4 readin it ...wsalam


Salam
Sis, seriously, do not worry. Inshallah, you strong imaan will overcome this! Many young girls go through this but alhamdullilah you are very lucky as you have been guided to the right path. forget the past, and think of the present. Are you doing enough for your religion? Death comes at any sudden moment, it doesn't wait for you to be ready. Always remember that, and inshallah this tell yourself why am I wasting my time thinking of these stuff? Is it that that will take me into Jannah. The prophets and Sahabah had to sacrifice alot for Allah to grant them a place in Jannah. It is not easy, the path is full of hardship. But with every hardship comes ease! Take your mind off him, go to sisters circles, go onto islamic websites, read islamic books, and seriously inshallah you will show Allah that you can overcome this and keep to the straight path, you iman is strong Alhamdullilah. Allah inshallah will shower his blessings upon you, and make the path easy for you. It may take time, but definitely determination, which i can obviously see through your posts. Keep this up, and inshallah this shall be wiped out of your mind. Your mind will become occupied with much more useful stuff e.g. hadiths you can learn or qur'an you can memorise. Your mind will have no more time to think about him and inshallah you will think of him no longer, but think more of how to become a better muslim like the Prophet (pbuh) and the Sahabah, how you (and I) can become like the umahat al mu'mineen! I know and you know that you can certainly do this!! Keep your faith strong in Allah, He is the All-Seer, the Forgiving, All-Knowing!

May Allah grant me, you and all the mu'mineen Jannat-ul-Firdous.

Wassalamualaikum,

Small Sis

[RashidD]

[removed]

Sorry to hear of your situation. Make du'aa at tahajjud time. Keep constant patience n prayer.

[Medievalist]

From what I understand you didnt do anything with him, right?

People will advise you to forget about him, concentrate on your work, make tawbah and istighfar and make du'a etc. ALL tope advice - mashaALLAH.

But one thing I'd say is if you cant forget about him and you can't cope then make shukr to ALLAH. Shukr? huh? what for :eek3: - That feeling that you had, the twittering birds and the blue skys and the happy happy world you thought you were and the warm feeling you got inside. Make shukr for ALLAH Ta'ala that He gave you a happiness like that in the world. ALLAH decided for now that you're paths dont continue together and trust Him, but thank Him aswell for the happiness that He Ta'ala has given you.

They say time is the best healer. Daym annoying saying when you feel your heart is shattered and it pierces every part of you. But its a true saying. It'll take time - by time we aint talking 3 hours of SRK and a box of salty popcorn :nono: - time means months, maybe even years but thats the price we have to pay for going against ALLAH Ta'alas commands.

give yourself time - LOTS of it. And it'll get better provided you dont have any intermittent contact with the lad.

[jkhklhl]

girl its worse with me i like a non-muslim and he likes me too luckily he understands that we cant do anything its so heatbreaking when you think wat could have been but now it isnt getting a chance we just have to be strong please help me what can i do i see him in every lesson and i cant help loving him and he feels the same

i just want to be with him but i know thats never going to happen

[hertbrken]

salam bros and sis!!!
im so happy and grateful!! each and every advice has been so HELPFUL2 me..yeh i admit iv dun wrng...and im askin4 4givnes evryday..ppl make mistkes..and u dnt learn frm stuff lyk dt cz unles uv bin thru it den u realise.but its worse seein the same person everyday at ur college...o well...but each advic has mde me stronger inside...jazazkhallah khair!! im not hertbrken nemor lol fnk 4 u 4 evry1s time and pateince to read this and reply..inshallah i hope Allah swt grants evry1s happiness 2....wsalam