Couple of questions

[coupleofqus]

1) I pray at college but it's a bit of a faff to do wudu, washing my feet properly is a problem, so i read and heard its okay to wipe on your socks if you put the socks on whilst in a state of wudu, is that right?

2) When doing wudu using the sink in a bathroom, can you still mention the name of allah when says bismillah at the beginning and ashhadu an la illaha ilallah.. etc at the end, because i thought it was best not to mention allahs name in the bathroom?

3) I sit next to this boy in two of my subjects at college and he always like nudges me or taps me, i know touching is wrong, but what can i say without making it sound rude? I've tried hinting by saying "your as bad as my brother, always tapping me when you want something!" and next time i think ill try "i need my personal space! i don't like people touching me!" or something. Now he's been my "friend" since school and he's very "camp" so he feels its okay to touch girls etc,he's gay but he just won't admit it (i always seem to attract gay guys to befriend me :S), and last year i used to hang around with him, which i know is wrong wrong, but now im trying to keep interactions to a minimum and only in class, but it's really bugging me!

4) This is probably really stupid and i don't know why i am thinking about it now, so early. But i normally go on holiday to egypt every summer, im egyptian so much of my family live there, but all my family shake hands, even with non-mahrams, so without a doubt im going to get in that situation. it's probably silly to worry about it now, i mean i might not even be alive by the time we next go :l enshaallah i will be, but i don't know what to do!! I've thought about nearer the time trying to start a convo with my parents about it like "it's not really right to shake hands with mahrams is it...". because i thought instead of getting there and being in a big family gathering and people coming to shake my hands and then i refuse, my parents are going to be like " -my name-! dont be so rude" or something. then there's the issue of language, how do i say it in egyptian arabic "ana asfa, ma basalimsh ala rigala" is that right???? i really wish i could speak better arabic!

5) When i was young and it first became obligatory for me to fast, i missed a few because of school trips etc. I might have broken a few aswell, for a habit im too embarassed to mention but im sure people will guess :( I'm not sure how many, but do i have to do the 60 days or can i just estimate and make them up? so far alhamdullilah ive made up 8 days.

6) Im trying my best to do good and learn more about islam, but my mum said to me and my dad yesterday "your turning into extremists" (we were talking about the teddy bear incident in sudan). she was joking but that made me feel upset.


I've rambled but it's good to get things off my chest :]

[muhammed_1428]

Nah no doubt this is the place to get as much off as possible!

With regards to 1, I'm unable to answer this, I generally just take socks off anyway - you really can't do this?

2, unsure

3, yeh its annoying when you've known someone for a while without realising you kinda shouldn't... And then are going through the awkward phase of trying to stop talking to them too much - my simple solution is sit away from them at first, and in a sense... Kind of be insensitive a bit (not majorly, but like, ignoring calls and texts etc). Why not talk to the guy about Islam once in a while, explain to them "look, you're cool etc, but I don't like it when you tap me like this, for this and that reason"

4, ah man, with regards to arabic I can't help you cos' egyptian arabic is sooo different from iraqi (sorry - I'm sure there's other egyptian arab-speakers around here Inshallah). With regards to hand-shaking, well, my older sis' did it by doing weaker handshakes at first and when she kept it up with the same person they kinda just decided not to (you know what arabs are with their strong handshakes - but if they get a weak one they decide not to shake that persons hand anymore) - try it.

5, make up however many fasts you missed from the last ramadhan, and Inshallah fast on days like maybe ashura or any other days you would be able to, even after you've made up the days inshallah. Next Ramadhan, make the best effort you ever have and do everything you can in that ramadhan, I've done this before for last ramadhan and it was an excellent feeling of redemption alhamdulilah (if redemption is the right word to use... I 'redeemed myself'... right?)

6, ah dude, don't feel upset by minor comments even if they're jokes. I get into debates with my dad all the time, (he's very much against the whole idea of khilafa and gets afriad i hang out with HT despite me assuring him I don't go near then), but their opinion is their opinion, don't let it put you off. C'mon sister, there's a lot worse out there some people have to ut up with, any time you feel upset, never feel resentment towards the person that caused it, just do wudhu, and pray your prayer, or read qur'an, or watch or read anything that is Islamic, Inshallah it'll relax you and make you feel a lot better about it.

Hope some of that helped, Salaamu Alaykum

[RashidD]

Ah sister it's good to see someone taking so much interest...

Ok, here goes:

1.) This may depend on the school of thought you follow etc as the socks may need to meet certain conditions in order for you to wipe over them - you should InshaALLAH contact an 'aalimah to speak about this fiqh issue. I don't know much about it etc.

2.) No, one should not say bismillah etc in the bathroom as it is not befitting to say the name of ALLAH (Ta'aala) in such a place. Rather say the relevant adkhaar before you enter and upon exiting the bathroom InshaALLAH.

3.) Hmmm... This situation is a bit tricky. The thing is, we want to give off a good positive impression of our Deen as well, so think of this as a dawah mission. I can't think of any nice way to say it now - perhaps someone else can help you out... InshaALLAH use hikmaa in these things but remember not to be too soft in speech etc otherwise he may find that attractive and all (Even though he's gay)

4.) Yes, you should not be shaking hands with non-mahrems.
Perhaps ease it into a conversation like say "Hey mom you know today i found out that..."

Or while in a family convo and there's one of those moments of silence... "Hey dad, you know i learnt something interesting today..."

6.) Regarding extremism... Remember that there will always be people who support you so long as you try and stay on the straight path...

Know that courage is seen in standing steadfast upon the path of nobility, in the face of constant adversity.

[coupleofqus]

ive also got another question.

when your praying witr, if you do it 2 rakats and then 1. how do you do your intention?
for your 2 rakats do you intend to do "witr 2 rakats", and then before you do your 1 rakat do you intend to do "witr 1 rakat"?

[fkslhdfh]

Awww hun I know how you fell....when you start really accepting Islam and incorporating it into your life there are gonna be a few bumps, but its all worth it inshaAllah.

Washing your feet: I know it's weird in school, so just do your wudhu at home in the morning, failing that, keep a small bottle with you, and wash your feet with it over the toilet. It takes some practising, but it keeps the wierd looks at bay.


Bismillah should be intention, some say you don't need to say it out loud just say it in your heart. Say alhumdullillah when you come out of the b/room.


Fasts: some say if there are too many for you to remember then just repent sincerely and learn from your mistake, the other school of thought is to fast as many as you can. It depends on your view, if you think it will be too much of a burden and might turn you away from your deen just make sure your intention is pure, Allah is Most Merciful.


Touching: it's all a matter of attitude. If you scowl and twist his hand, you'll earn a bad rep. But if you politely say, please don't touch me i find it uncomfortable or ive been brought up where men and women dont touch each other freely or even dont touch me please FOLLOWED WITHA A SMILE and act as if nothing happenned, then he'll get the message and nothing else will have changed.


when relatives greet you just return their salaam and smile at them. theyre hardly likely to force you to shake ther hands, just dont shake it but act as if nothing is wrong, they'll get the hint.


as for your parents, my mum said that to me too (!) which i found REALLY upsetting, considering i was just acting appropriately and doing the right thing. but remember the position of your parents in islam, forget about it and be strong in your deen.

have you heard of baba ali from ummah films? he reverted to islam and his mum didnt like it coz she thought muslims were all extremists, but he kept to his faith and after seeing how much he had changed , she also converted 3 years later. Alhumdulillah :D

so just show them through action, sooner or later they will be pleased by the good changes you are making. :up:


hope this helps :)

[coupleofqus]

jezzak allah khairun guys for your advice it made me smile :)

As for the feet washing thing, the sinks are absolutely tiny, and i just worry i wont let the water get to the whole of my foot if you know what i mean?

"when relatives greet you just return their salaam and smile at them. theyre hardly likely to force you to shake ther hands, just dont shake it but act as if nothing is wrong, they'll get the hint."

Thats a good idea, i just feel bad when they put their hand out, i cant exactly just smile and look away.

[ze leetle elper]

Re: the washing feet, I would advise, that unless it is impossible, wash your feet. Not being bothered is really just an excuse to avoid the difficulty you may have,and the more difficult an act of worship is, the sweeter the reward :) You can wash how much of your foot you can fit under the tap, and using your hands, wipe the water over the rest of the foot to cover it all. As long as the water drips from your foot it is considered washed, it doesn't need to be drowning in water to be clean! :p

Will read the rest later when I get a chance!

[coupleofqus]

drips from the foot? that's the first time ive heard that.

[egyptiantoo!]

okay:

1) you are allowed to wipe over your socks if you put on your socks while in the state of wudu. this may differ in the mazhab you follow, e.g i know salafi's support this but im not entirely sure if hanafi's do.

2) answered already - say it before entering the bathroom and after going out.

3) firstly keep distant from him, start with not sitting next to him as said before. bit by bit, tell him things about islam. be the role model for him, and if he sees how you are, strong, then what you tell him about islam may affect him, and he will change inshallah.

4) yes, i know this problem very well. as an egyptian too, i know this goes on in egypt alot, but alhamdullilah my family know its wrong. anyway, what you do is smile and just say sorry i dont shake hands with men. if its someone old as in a grandad, you're allowed to shake hands with them. but other than that you can't. this may at first be weird to them, but inshallah you are showing them the correct way, and inshallah they will be guided. it a test between making them upset and refusing to shake their hand or stick to the deen and obey Allah. now we all know which its gonna be. in egyptian you say: 'anna mabassalimshi 3allal regal'

5) just keep silent. its the best thing. if you can't just tell them that's not what i'm being etc. inshallah they're your parents and will understand. but just keep your respect to them always even if they wrong you.

hope this all helped.

Keep strong with your faith and inshallah Allah will make the straight path and easy path for you inshallah.

[The Deen]

Assalamu Alaykum

1) I pray at college but it's a bit of a faff to do wudu, washing my feet properly is a problem, so i read and heard its okay to wipe on your socks if you put the socks on whilst in a state of wudu, is that right?

Do wash your feet. As a member posted earlier, do wudhu at home if not, but since it's college, there's no big reason why you shouldn't be able to wash your feet.

2) When doing wudu using the sink in a bathroom, can you still mention the name of allah when says bismillah at the beginning and ashhadu an la illaha ilallah.. etc at the end, because i thought it was best not to mention allahs name in the bathroom?

Allah's name should not be mentioned in the bathroom/toilet. Read it in your mind.

[coupleofqus]

Assalamu Alaykum


Allah's name should not be mentioned in the bathroom/toilet. Read it in your mind.

That's what i meant, saying it in my mind whilst in the bathroom, ive never said it out aloud. So saying aloud is prohibited but in your mind is okay?

[ze leetle elper]

drips from the foot? that's the first time ive heard that.

Well if the water doesn't drip from your feet, how can it be considered washed? How do you think our beloved prophet performed wudhu? He did not have a running tap to splash about and swim in, rather he used a bowl of water to perform wudhu, and as long as water reaches all he necessary areas and water drips from the area (to signify that the area has been properly wet) then the area is considered washed?

also, in regards to wudhu, a general observation of mine is that too many people use too much water. So this act of worship becomes wasteful and neglectful, because water is a blessing from Allah (swt) and unneccesary wastage is an insult to that blessing.