Being too Specific

[pur1ty]

:salams everyone.

Anyone find that when it comes to marriage, they are really specific about what their potential partner should look/act/be like? Or is it just me? I find that i'm really specific - even down to what kind of trainers he should/shouldnt wear! I know its bad but I have refused some offers based on things that were "shallow". How can I stop this? Is it cos i'm not ready, scared?

I dont want to refuse bro's for reasons like that but i just do, and I also dont want to be an old woman before i find "mr right".

And thats another thing, do u believe in that one person being out there for u? Ur soul mate or whatever? Is it a case of finding ur soul mate, or of some one becoming ur soul mate?

Just some random nonsense in my head these days :p

[Hisham Abu]

Wa Alaikum Salaam,

I dont want to refuse bro's for reasons like that but i just do, and I also dont want to be an old woman before i find "mr right".It is shallow, however at the end of the day none can tell you so and so is shallow. Because what is shallow to one person could well mean quite a lot to the other. Although I believe you should forget about such superficies things, especially something so pragmatic as what shoes/trainers he wears, unless you believe it can be a cause of argument/negativity between yourself and your future spouse. Although that can be quite easily rectified by you, as his wife, purchasing his trainers/shoes for him.

And thats another thing, do u believe in that one person being out there for u? Ur soul mate or whatever? Is it a case of finding ur soul mate, or of some one becoming ur soul mate?Yes, I do believe in this.

[Loobna]

Hmm...Being specific in some things is ok I guess - but only in the important stuff. Also if you really cant stand a certain physical appearance then I guess its ok to refuse coz after all you need to find them attractive to spend your life together!

As for trainers - well I'd only be concerned if the bro thought it was essential to buy a £150 pair every month...I suppose if you are very image concious yourself you will look for these kinda things in a partner. Personally, I'd rather keep things simple and stick to the 'are they a decent nice/loving person, would they make a good dad' kinda thing - trainer styles change easily, the character of a person is a bit more difficult to change once defined :)

Maybe if you are refusing brothers for simple things then you are not ready but instead of sitting there wondering about it do istikara to see if its right for you to go ahead with this kinda stuff :)

My advice - make lots and lots of dua, talk openly, freely to Allah and ask to be guided and ask for anything and everything you want :)

[pur1ty]

Wa Alaikum Salaam,

It is shallow, however at the end of the day none can tell you so and so is shallow. Because what is shallow to one person could well mean quite a lot to the other. Although I believe you should forget about such superficies things, especially something so pragmatic as what shoes/trainers he wears, unless you believe it can be a cause of argument/negativity between yourself and your future spouse. Although that can be quite easily rectified by you, as his wife, purchasing his trainers/shoes for him.

Yes, I do believe in this.

What part do u believe, that there is one special person out there for u, or the other part?

Yeah, i know, shoes was just an example. But sometimes after i've rejected these brothers i think about them like 3 months down the line, saying "well maybe he wasnt so bad etc etc"! but its too late by then :rolleyes:

Thanks loobna aswell, i think i really need to start doing istikharah the next time one comes around. Of course i look for the deeper qualities and most of them do have it just something about them makes me say no. Allahu Alim!

[LEILA1961]

I believe that there is a soulmate for everyone, but if u dont take the plunge u'll never find him.
and yes it is shallow to judge a person on petty little things, its what they are inside that counts take time and get to know ppl first.

[pur1ty]

I dont know, i find it hard to believe in the soul-mate theory. How can there be that one person out there for u? How can u know he's the one. And what if i've missed him?! :S does that mean i wont find someone else/get married? Seems too strange for me.

[jazz8000]

Random theory...but here goes

There is not one but quite a few soul mates however a person is always growing and views/desires etc changes with time. What a person considers a soul mate at 20 could be different at 25 and again at 30. A soulmate could be right there, a perfect macth for you however you could be concentrating on other aspects thinking those aspect make a perfect match.

The best calculator is the almighty. Have a basic guidelines like level of deen being aceptable to you, appearance etc and leave the rest to almighty (Isthikara)

[Abu Mus'ab]

I dont know, i find it hard to believe in the soul-mate theory. How can there be that one person out there for u? How can u know he's the one. And what if i've missed him?! :S does that mean i wont find someone else/get married? Seems too strange for me.
there was a thread on it before called "do you believe in the one" don't ask for a link cos i can't remember where it is, you could probably find it if you searched for it (the search feature doesn't work for me) it might address some of the questions you have concerning it.

[miss-islamic]

It’s a case of finding the person. You should marry when you are physically, financially, mentally and religiously ready to somebody who you are attracted to religiously, mentally, financially and physically. It’s good to have list and then use it as “filter” for every potential guy. Ofcourse doing it that way leaves out the “romantic” part but I think that stuff is la-la land crap and even historically it is a new shiz. Here in the west there is 50% divorce and they believe in the stuff. In Saudi Arabai there is also 50% divorce but that because there’s forced marriages and lack of people have a choice in choosing their spouse. Middle ground people.

[dunya_or_akhira]

can you provide some sources with facts and figures to credit your claim that in Saudi there is 50% divorce rate like in the west please

[miss-islamic]

Why would I do that? I’ve obviously read it in an article. I read it in “arabnews.com” but the link to the article isn’t working. But there’s this, And according to research conducted recently by Nora Al Shamlan, chairman of the University Studies Center for Girls' research unit, the divorce rate in Saudi Arabia has reached 60 percent. http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_951_1000/divorce_a_labyrinth_for_arab_wiv.htm

[dunya_or_akhira]

Why would I do that? I’ve obviously read it in an article. I read it in “arabnews.com” but the link to the article isn’t working. But there’s this, http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_951_1000/divorce_a_labyrinth_for_arab_wiv.htm

thanks - it gives your post more credibility if you provide the source thats why i asked

i know you obviously read it but there are many people here who make up figures up

[fisabilllillah]

As you grow in emmaaan ur criteria changes.......i think its good to be specific on the basis of deen but not be judgemntal.......i know that thru the isue of marriage and finding a potential partner, u will change yourself and become a better person and vice versa. I know def my criteria has changed and today i wudnt even consider a brother who i considered a long time ago or he not consider me, not becos we are bad people or we dislike eachother rather beacuse we dont match and i think thats an important issue and many people have to learn about this..there has to be compatibilty esp according to how much u practise and the level of your deen. therefore u gotta be specific 2 a certain degree..........

[Abu Mus'ab]

I dont know, i find it hard to believe in the soul-mate theory. How can there be that one person out there for u? How can u know he's the one. And what if i've missed him?! :S does that mean i wont find someone else/get married? Seems too strange for me.
okay i found the thread, http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119685&highlight=soul+mate

[fisabilllillah]

well i dont think ts bad cos if hes paying bare loads for a pair of stinkin trainers that have been made by young kids..u have a right to question him...but u need a full picture and then make your decision......if this part and parcel of everything that matches his cahracter......then u know it aint ya cuppa tea

[Umm 'Umarah]

I don't think I have many specifications, besides looks and deen, but my brothers and brother-in-laws are very specific, apparently he has to support manchester united, and be able to play a good game of pro-evolution soccer and be very businessman minded... like them :rolleyes: and it doesn't matter if he doesn't get along with me...so long as he gets along with them :wacko:

Sister, apart from personality,deen and looks, all the rest are superficial and are changeable, but even personality and deen and looks, you can probably work on that aswell, alot of men are no-hopers, but I suppose when they get themselves a decent wife, the wife will bring out the better in them (same applies to sisters).

In time, you will realise that you won't find a 'finished product' of a husband out there, or maybe you might, Allahu'Alam. in the meantime, you will always find one fault or the other, until it's time for you to marry the person you are destined to be with.

when you meet the most perfect guy, you won't even notice the atrocious pair of trainers he is wearing. trust me you won't, it might bother you for a while, but then you will realise, that his personality is much more important and that compensates for other things.

But, the fact is...nobody is perfect.

[$HugoBoss$]

Your just 2 picky, a bit extreme actually. Hope you get married before your hair turns grey.

Istakarak is the way to go :up:

[pur1ty]

I certainly hope so too! But inshallah i'll have quite a while before that happens! So not really in a hurry

Just thought i'd clarify, since i've got a few private messages from hopeful brothers :rubeyes:

[(*_Hamzah]

Settle for second best because that's your gonna get- That was my maths teacher motto in secondary school lol

[Ithar]

My criteria:

-female
-muslim
-slim

thats all. not too specific, but still cant find anyone!

[Abu Mus'ab]

Your just 2 picky, a bit extreme actually. Hope you get married before your hair turns grey.

Istakarak is the way to go :up:
Are you talking about Istikhaara? :rubeyes:

[Abu Mus'ab]

I certainly hope so too! But inshallah i'll have quite a while before that happens! So not really in a hurry

Just thought i'd clarify, since i've got a few private messages from hopeful brothers :rubeyes:
:asta: if bervs are pm'ing you about things like that then you should report them :nono:

[Pippin1376]

I sometimes joke with my Mom that I don't care who, as long as he's a nice muslim, and has nice hair. When my Mom asked why nice hair? I told her because I don't want my kids stuck with mine. lol.

To be honest, as long as he's a good muslim, treats his family and mine well and is attractive then I don't care. Oh he should have a nice personality too.

[summer786]

My criteria:

-female
-muslim
-slim

thats all. not too specific, but still cant find anyone!

are you trying to say all the muslim sisters you've looked at are fatties?

[Ithar]

are you trying to say all the muslim sisters you've looked at are fatties?

hmm.....the muslim ummah do seem to have a fair share of them. bless them, i just want a wife who cooks curry all day, not eats them all day aswell!

[Umm 'Umarah]

are you trying to say all the muslim sisters you've looked at are fatties?

hmm.....the muslim ummah do seem to have a fair share of them. bless them, i just want a wife who cooks curry all day, not eats them all day aswell!

:rotfl:

no wonder you're unmarried with an attitude like that.

[Abu Mu'adh]

hmm.....the muslim ummah do seem to have a fair share of them. bless them, i just want a wife who cooks curry all day, not eats them all day aswell!


You need to branch out a little, there's more to food then curries :D

[fisabilllillah]

I sometimes joke with my Mom that I don't care who, as long as he's a nice muslim, and has nice hair. When my Mom asked why nice hair? I told her because I don't want my kids stuck with mine. lol.

To be honest, as long as he's a good muslim, treats his family and mine well and is attractive then I don't care. Oh he should have a nice personality too.



looool...i dont know but some sisters think i have odd taste:rubeyes::rubeyes:

and allahu alim......i think personality is more important.....but i think men are more pickier than us women......thats why we have more pressure to look slim and remain that way for the rest of our lives.................minus the grey hairs and the wrinkles........

[ify]

looool...i dont know but some sisters think i have odd taste:rubeyes::rubeyes:

and allahu alim......i think personality is more important.....but i think men are more pickier than us women......thats why we have more pressure to look slim and remain that way for the rest of our lives.................minus the grey hairs and the wrinkles........
yep, i agree lol

[fisabilllillah]

My criteria:

-female
-muslim
-slim

thats all. not too specific, but still cant find anyone!

you dont have a specific criteria.......thats 99% muslim women

[Saudi Prince]

pur1ty,

If you imagine for a moment that you're a man, would you marry that man? Would you marry yourself?

[fisabilllillah]

yep, i agree lol

i use to be weirdoooooo.....subhanallah...the pressure of society...i was only 16 and i use to look under my eyes for wrinkes....or eye bags!!!!!..astaghfurillah.. i use to look in the mirror soo many times a day ..i feel ive been :torture: by this scoiety and i hate wat they put impressionable kids thru.....alahmdullilah now i jus dont give a damn.....i dont care about my appearance anymore and im glad to feel like this, late nights...not forcefully drinking 7 glasses of water to keep my skin rehydrated...no mirror looking hahahaha! dont have a choice now, no plucked eyebrows hahahahaha

and i feel free soooo freee im finally living now :inlove: so free:inlove::hidban:

[ify]

i use to be weirdoooooo.....subhanallah...the pressure of society...i was only 16 and i use to look under my eyes for wrinkes....or eye bags!!!!!..astaghfurillah.. i use to look in the mirror soo many times a day ..i feel ive been :torture: by this scoiety and i hate wat they put impressionable kids thru.....alahmdullilah now i jus dont give a damn.....i dont care about my appearance anymore and im glad to feel like this, late nights...not forcefully drinking 7 glasses of water to keep my skin rehydrated...no mirror looking hahahaha! dont have a choice now, no plucked eyebrows hahahahaha

and i feel free soooo freee im finally living now :inlove: so free:inlove::hidban:
umm, i get u:)...thrs like this image that's expected...but as you grow older you realise you don't have to conform to it.....lool yeh no mirror lookin helps:p...yeh:D it is a nice feeling to be free n im glad ur fellin it too:inlove:

[fisabilllillah]

umm, i get u:)...thrs like this image that's expected...but as you grow older you realise you don't have to conform to it.....lool yeh no mirror lookin helps:p...yeh:D it is a nice feeling to be free n im glad ur fellin it too:inlove:

HMMMMMM I think i bit tooo freee at the moment....i look like a mess!!!!!!!! lol

[niqaabi_muslima]

why why why why slim women???

[Abu Mu'adh]

why why why why slim women???

being a fatty indicates laziness. :rotfl:

[niqaabi_muslima]

excuse me....being fat doesnt mean your lazy....it just means u love your foods...

[Abu Mu'adh]

excuse me....being fat doesnt mean your lazy....it just means u love your foods...

I said indicates, furthermore I love my food but I ain't fat.

[niqaabi_muslima]

ohh we shouldnt be over eating either

[$HugoBoss$]

Are you talking about Istikhaara? :rubeyes:

Yeah spelt it wrong.

[dunya_or_akhira]

why why why why fat?

cant you just control your weight instead of just concentrating on eating

[Umm 'Umarah]

you brothers are being really nasty. some sisters might be fat because they were made that way genetically. most men develop a fat belly in their thirties or earlier even!

You should worry bout your own weight, women don't like fat men either!!! and most fat men ARE lazy!!!

[niqaabi_muslima]

exactly Sis....This really upset me :( i mean sometimes you just cant control yourself or like u said genetically over weight :(

I think ppl nowadays are too specific...doesnt gv us sisters who love our foods a chance :(

.......

[$HugoBoss$]

exactly Sis....This really upset me :( i mean sometimes you just cant control yourself or like u said genetically over weight :(

I think ppl nowadays are too specific...doesnt gv us sisters who love our foods a chance :(

.......

Don't be sad, everything will be ok :up:

There's a lot of good brother's out there that will overlook that.

[Abu Mu'adh]

you brothers are being really nasty. some sisters might be fat because they were made that way genetically. most men develop a fat belly in their thirties or earlier even!

You should worry bout your own weight, women don't like fat men either!!! and most fat men ARE lazy!!!


If it's genetic than that's excusable.

The reason why men get roti bellies in their 30's is by then most are married, and to avoid hurting their spouses feelings they eat whatever ghee dripping dishes they cook for them.


Metabolism also slows down after early 20's so if ya don't want a fatty marry early :up:

[dunya_or_akhira]

i know a brother who is 5ft5 and very slim yet he eats much more then me..i weigh much more then him and am taller...yet he loves his food and eats loads..

he also exercises! so it shows you can eat loads and still remain normal

i think genetically you could store more fat but if the parents control their kids diet and then the kid when older controls their diet they can also avoid being too fat

[dunya_or_akhira]

exactly Sis....This really upset me :( i mean sometimes you just cant control yourself or like u said genetically over weight :(

I think ppl nowadays are too specific...doesnt gv us sisters who love our foods a chance :(

.......

aww subhanAllah dnt worry...just because you may be a food lover and a bit on the overweight side...dont be down:up:

[niqaabi_muslima]

Don't be sad, everything will be ok :up:

There's a lot of good brother's out there that will overlook that.


Thanks...are u sure that there are many brothers out there who will over look the extra weight? because you love ur cream sundaes?

[Abu Mu'adh]

exactly Sis....This really upset me :( i mean sometimes you just cant control yourself or like u said genetically over weight :(

I think ppl nowadays are too specific...doesnt gv us sisters who love our foods a chance :(

.......

aww subhanAllah dnt worry...just because you may be a food lover and a bit on the overweight side...dont be down:up:


There's plenty of overweight brothers too, so you still got hope :D

[summer786]

excuse me....being fat doesnt mean your lazy....it just means u love your foods...

Rasulullah :saw: said 'the worst vessel you can fill is your stomach'

if your overeating, your eating more than your body needs = addiction, just like drugs and alcohol. I'm not saying overweight people are doing anything haraam, but that's the root of the problem

also according to sunnah you should fill your stomach with 1/3 food, 1/3 drink and leave it a third empty....i bet noone does that nowadays

[niqaabi_muslima]

are you trying to imply that i over eat?????/ oh my god... :(

[dunya_or_akhira]

correct...so once again control your milkshakes, your junk foods and all these fizzy drinks...i avoid fizzy drinks and all the junk food but sometimes end up having some

[fisabilllillah]

why why why why fat?

cant you just control your weight instead of just concentrating on eating

looool...astaghfurillah.......thats true...the prophet saw said that fat people are not from us but having said it is either a medical condition or pychological disorder similar to being anorexic..

[summer786]

are you trying to imply that i over eat?????/ oh my god... :(

no no no dear sis, when i said 'your' i meant in the general sense

[$HugoBoss$]

Thanks...are u sure that there are many brothers out there who will over look the extra weight? because you love ur cream sundaes?

Ummmm where i live yes because there's a lot of practicing brothers. They want religious, pious and caring wives. Weight is something you can loose but you just have to control your desires for specific foods. Being dedicated to loosing weight is a must :up:

I know almost every brother wants a pretty wife but to be honest not all of them end up with one, works the same way.

[fisabilllillah]

[QUOTE=niqaabi_muslima;2244953]exactly Sis....This really upset me :( i mean sometimes you just cant control yourself or like u said genetically over weight :(

I think ppl nowadays are too specific...doesnt gv us sisters who love our foods a chance :(

.......[/QUOTE:rolleyes: MOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

ehemmm the last i heard u were TRYIN TO put on weight! and im hibernating...the more fat the good, it will keep us warm!

[Abu Mu'adh]

Ummmm where i live yes because there's a lot of practicing brothers. They want religious, pious and caring wives. Weight is something you can loose but you just have to control your desires for specific foods. Being dedicated to loosing weight is a must :up:

I know almost every brother wants a pretty wife but to be honest not all of them end up with one, works the same way.

As the long as the girl they are married to is beautiful in their eyes, It doesn't matter if others don't perceive her to be 'pretty'.

[dunya_or_akhira]

i guess a fat wife is good because not many brothers will then look at her !!

if your wife is too attractive then you may worry about others looking at her

but if she is fat and bearded then your rolling!!!

but just make sure she dont roll over u...

[$HugoBoss$]

i guess a fat wife is good because not many brothers will then look at her !!

if your wife is too attractive then you may worry about others looking at her

but if she is fat and bearded then your rolling!!!

but just make sure she dont roll over u...

Man quit being so mean, some people might get offended :torture:

[niqaabi_muslima]

Ummmm where i live yes because there's a lot of practicing brothers. They want religious, pious and caring wives. Weight is something you can loose but you just have to control your desires for specific foods. Being dedicated to loosing weight is a must :up:

I know almost every brother wants a pretty wife but to be honest not all of them end up with one, works the same way.


so u saying no more sundaes??

you say every man wants a pretty wife...are u saying fat ppl cant b pretty?

i cant take this any more :(

[Abu Mu'adh]

i guess a fat wife is good because not many brothers will then look at her !!

if your wife is too attractive then you may worry about others looking at her

but if she is fat and bearded then your rolling!!!

but just make sure she dont roll over u...


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[summer786]

so u saying no more sundaes??

you say every man wants a pretty wife...are u saying fat ppl cant b pretty?

i cant take this any more :(

:there: calm down love haven't you heard the saying

'i may be fat but you're ugly, at least i can lose weight'

errrrrr......look at salma hayek, shes fat and pretty

[fisabilllillah]

so u saying no more sundaes??

you say every man wants a pretty wife...are u saying fat ppl cant b pretty?

i cant take this any more :(

ohhh heabibti...dont worry chubbness is cool...:hidban: u be my bodyguard and i be yours...........

[fisabilllillah]

:there: calm down love haven't you heard the saying

'i may be fat but you're ugly, at least i can lose weight'

errrrrr......look at salma hayek, shes fat and pretty

looool where did u get the preetiness from? :vomit: NO COMMENT LOL

[niqaabi_muslima]

i guess a fat wife is good because not many brothers will then look at her !!

if your wife is too attractive then you may worry about others looking at her

but if she is fat and bearded then your rolling!!!

but just make sure she dont roll over u...

How can u say that? just coz we hv beards and fat and love sundaes doesnt not mean...aaaaagggggh ur soo mean...

what am i going to do....:(

im gna leave...its not my fault i am the way i am

[dunya_or_akhira]

Man quit being so mean, some people might get offended :torture:

relax no1 is offended

i think it you read the posts out of context you may think its mean but if you read in context you will know i dont offend and nor am i mean:up:

[niqaabi_muslima]

:there: calm down love haven't you heard the saying

'i may be fat but you're ugly, at least i can lose weight'

errrrrr......look at salma hayek, shes fat and pretty



salma hayek?????now i know u ppl are laughing at me....

[$HugoBoss$]

so u saying no more sundaes??

you say every man wants a pretty wife...are u saying fat ppl cant b pretty?

i cant take this any more :(

Yes every man wants a pretty wife, i think thats understood. Like i said a lot of people end up with the opposite because they find inner beauty more important :up:

Fat people can be pretty why not?????

lol cmon when did i say no more sundaes, just don't make a habbit of eating something that is unhealthy :)

[fisabilllillah]

How can u say that? just coz we hv beards and fat and love sundaes doesnt not mean...aaaaagggggh ur soo mean...

what am i going to do....:(

im gna leave...

I KNOW we call ourselves: THE TWO FAT BEARDED LADIES.......

DO u remeber that old cooking show with the 2 fat ladies..im the blonde one...i dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.....:inlove:

[dunya_or_akhira]

lol two chubby hairy teachers

[$HugoBoss$]

relax no1 is offended

i think it you read the posts out of context you may think its mean but if you read in context you will know i dont offend and nor am i mean:up:

How do you know nobody is offended????

Anyways i get your point, still mean though :coolbro:

[fisabilllillah]

lol two chubby hairy teachers

no wonda they say MR instead....

[niqaabi_muslima]

hugo i just read ur post above n thought u was trying to make me feel better but now ur saying to dunya u get his point???????? :( what is his point??? that im fat? :(

[dunya_or_akhira]

astagfurrullah... i would never be mean to anyone if they were really fat or thin or hairy or smelly etc

i dont know if niqaabi is really fat or not..she never said she is fat...therefore how could i offend her by saying fatty...unless i knew she was fat....which i dont so relax dudes

peace respect

[$HugoBoss$]

hugo i just read ur post above n thought u was trying to make me feel better but now ur saying to dunya u get his point???????? :( what is his point??? that im fat? :(

I just said that so he calms down thats all, he doesn't know what he's talking about anyways, calling people fat and rolling over them and what not. Maybe you should ask him yourself and clear the misconception :)

[dunya_or_akhira]

fesabillilah plz change your avatar...it makes me sad

[$HugoBoss$]

astagfurrullah... i would never be mean to anyone if they were really fat or thin or hairy or smelly etc

i dont know if niqaabi is really fat or not..she never said she is fat...therefore how could i offend her by saying fatty...unless i knew she was fat....which i dont so relax dudes

peace respect

No prob, check your rep.

[fisabilllillah]

fesabillilah plz change your avatar...it makes me sad

i know.......i look at the face....and i hope it makes others realise there are more important things in life like the future of these children....U know there is a certain feeling when a young child needs a mother or calls u as a mother by mistake and sometimes u feel it....these r our kids.....they need the help of this ummah.......there are millions acrros the world crying like this and we have done nothing to help...we can sponsor orphan children thru muslim aid.....they doo a lovely package from just 30 quid a month!

[dunya_or_akhira]

yeh i have heard of a few packages that sponser orphans

mashaAllah its good we should encourage others to sponser orphans aswell

its indeed a great act to look after orphans....Yateem is mentioned alot in the quran

i love orpans!

kids need guidance and a good upbringing..in the homes and classrooms...however the amount of red tape prevents teachers from explaining to kids certain things but im sure when they see a bearded guy they will think..oh sir also has a beard and hes alright !! instead of being scared and having misconceptions of Islam n Muslims

[niqaabi_muslima]

No prob, check your rep.


now ur reping him for his comment :( go on laugh..

I think its fine to be fat aslong as the person has emaan. Ppl shdnt b too specific otherwise you will end up having grey hairs and cd end up over weight urself..n ppl will laugh...

[$HugoBoss$]

now ur reping him for his comment :( go on laugh..

I think its fine to be fat aslong as the person has emaan. Ppl shdnt b too specific otherwise you will end up having grey hairs and cd end up over weight urself..n ppl will laugh...

Listen shorty :D i know your just jk around and just for your information i am very fit but i wouldn't mind the grey hair it will look so cool you know :up:

[fisabilllillah]

yeh i have heard of a few packages that sponser orphans

mashaAllah its good we should encourage others to sponser orphans aswell

its indeed a great act to look after orphans....Yateem is mentioned alot in the quran

i love orpans!

kids need guidance and a good upbringing..in the homes and classrooms...however the amount of red tape prevents teachers from explaining to kids certain things but im sure when they see a bearded guy they will think..oh sir also has a beard and hes alright !! instead of being scared and having misconceptions of Islam n Muslims


very true,,,,,,i had a jewish mother come in the other day, There are a family from 'Isreal' and she turned around and said: My son adores u and where u from? He cant believe how nice u r?

:confused:
:confused:
subhanallah......i thought to myself what were these ppl thinkin in the first place.......

[(*_Hamzah]

:salams everyone.

Anyone find that when it comes to marriage, they are really specific about what their potential partner should look/act/be like? Or is it just me? I find that i'm really specific - even down to what kind of trainers he should/shouldnt wear! I know its bad but I have refused some offers based on things that were "shallow". How can I stop this? Is it cos i'm not ready, scared?

I dont want to refuse bro's for reasons like that but i just do, and I also dont want to be an old woman before i find "mr right".

And thats another thing, do u believe in that one person being out there for u? Ur soul mate or whatever? Is it a case of finding ur soul mate, or of some one becoming ur soul mate?

Just some random nonsense in my head these days :p


Even trainers? Man didn't the Prophet :saw: walk around barefooted, but it's good your looking at the trainers because your obviously lowering your glaze

[fisabilllillah]

now ur reping him for his comment :( go on laugh..

I think its fine to be fat aslong as the person has emaan. Ppl shdnt b too specific otherwise you will end up having grey hairs and cd end up over weight urself..n ppl will laugh...

my billy.......we can always share a flat toghether...the two fat bearded ladies and live old toghether aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :inlove: wen can i move in niqaaabs?

[dunya_or_akhira]

if your a teacher you hear someone say amoungst their friends 'taliban' or osama bin laden in the school corridor when you walk past... what would you do

[niqaabi_muslima]

Listen shorty :D i know your just jk around and just for your information i am very fit but i wouldn't mind the grey hair it will look so cool you know :up:


shorty????:rubeyes::rubeyes:

who told u such a thing? that im joking????:rubeyes:

[dunya_or_akhira]

listen who is short who is fat who is tall who is slim will you plz stand up plz stand up

[Kubs]

i guess a fat wife is good because not many brothers will then look at her !!

if your wife is too attractive then you may worry about others looking at her

but if she is fat and bearded then your rolling!!!

but just make sure she dont roll over u...

Haha! :rotfl: Hilarious! :D

[$HugoBoss$]

shorty????:rubeyes::rubeyes:

who told u such a thing? that im joking????:rubeyes:

Ok because i think your over-reacting :outta:

[fisabilllillah]

if your a teacher you hear someone say amoungst their friends 'taliban' or osama bin laden in the school corridor when you walk past... what would you do

ive never had that happen to me.......my kids r too young 2 be cheeky....they call me mummy or daddy instead lol and thats enought to vex me

[(*_Hamzah]

You know my friend from lebland and a arab, said his parents will only select “fat” girl for him because she will be able to bear him a child with those hips :rotfl:

[abubakarbristol]

listen who is short who is fat who is tall who is slim will you plz stand up plz stand up

Can I sit back down, please.

My short, fat hairy leg is aching (not to mention my long slim bald one!).

[$HugoBoss$]

Edit.

[fisabilllillah]

shorty????:rubeyes::rubeyes:

who told u such a thing? that im joking????:rubeyes:

its okay niqqabs atleast u wont be taller than ur hubsband....being 4 ft 7 ain that bad...shortie......
ne way hugo shes my shortie....................SO ONLY IM ALLOWED TO SAY IT TO HER :rolleyes:

[dunya_or_akhira]

right so back on the topic

was the sister being too specific?

[fisabilllillah]

Can I sit back down, please.

My short, fat hairy leg is aching (not to mention my long slim bald one!).

why were u too scared to wax the other one?

[dunya_or_akhira]

ahem back to the original topic: i suspect foul play so lets quickly move on to original question

[niqaabi_muslima]

Ok because i think your over-reacting :outta:

okay mr.. first i get accused of over eating....then being fat...then ugly....then short....and now a person who over reacts.....


Dear Author of this thread.... You are not alone in this situation.. Many ppl are too specific as you can see from the comments...:p

This is the world we live in and we seriously need to sort it out chimps!

if we desire we successful marriage we need to b less choosy abt appearances and look more at the deen..

:up:

[fisabilllillah]

if your a teacher you hear someone say amoungst their friends 'taliban' or osama bin laden in the school corridor when you walk past... what would you do

were u ever called that? Man that must be reall hard cos u teach em kids IT.......they def think ur taliban.......i know i wud for sure...id be the first person to say it......lol........U hacking into things with your own undercover network..........man if i were u i'd pretend i have a secret undercover network...leave one your smartboards or pcs one with a private message from the taliban loooool..................

And if they were reaaally said that to you.....i'd make em write 10000000000 lines ..........

[$HugoBoss$]

were u ever called that?

Someone called me farrow once because they said i looked like him, isn't that dumb???

[niqaabi_muslima]

brother that is terrible that u were called farrow....

I apologise for my nervous break down earlier..jazakAllah khair hugo for being very kind with your advise :up:

[Kubs]

so u saying no more sundaes??

you say every man wants a pretty wife...are u saying fat ppl cant b pretty?

i cant take this any more :(

Sister, please don't feel like that.

I truly believe that REAL beauty comes from the soul. I've known a great number of slim and 'attractive' women, but they were VERY shallow and egomaniacs! :rubeyes:

Just because somebody is a size 0, it doesnt make them pretty. Your personality, your sense of humor, your intelligence, can make a person beautiful.

The society we live in tends to make women think they need to be super super thin to be attractive. The truth of the matter is - women are supposed to have curves. :p

It doesn't mean, however, that a person should completely lose control over their weight. There are too many health issues that go with that. Just focus on being healthy and keep up with the sports!

I agree, first impressions are very important.....but it's the personality which seals the deal to the heart. :up:

[dunya_or_akhira]

were u ever called that? Man that must be reall hard cos u teach em kids IT.......they def think ur taliban.......i know i wud for sure...id be the first person to say it......lol........U hacking into things with your own undercover network..........man if i were u i'd pretend i have a secret undercover network...leave one your smartboards or pcs one with a private message from the taliban loooool..................

And if they were reaaally said that to you.....i'd make em write 10000000000 lines ..........

u takin da mik

[$HugoBoss$]

brother that is terrible that u were called farrow....

I apologise for my nervous break down earlier..jazakAllah khair hugo for being very kind with your advise :up:

lol yeah i know but he was jk otherwise i would :torture:

No probs sis anytime :up:

[Kubs]

okay mr.. first i get accused of over eating....then being fat...then ugly....then short....and now a person who over reacts.....:up:

Seriously sister, you are lucky. I'm 5ft7 and I don't like it. :rubeyes:

[fisabilllillah]

u takin da mik

sorry bro...................i had to go to a pig farm with pigs if that serves consolation and also...i had to take part in remmebrance with the children cos i was the only class teacher at present...........:( all without prior notification............

[summer786]

You know my friend from lebland and a arab, said his parents will only select “fat” girl for him because she will be able to bear him a child with those hips :rotfl:

loll who even thinks like that?

its okay niqqabs atleast u wont be taller than ur hubsband....being 4 ft 7 ain that bad...shortie......
ne way hugo shes my shortie....................SO ONLY IM ALLOWED TO SAY IT TO HER :rolleyes:

btw there is another meaning for shorty

[Hekmaa]

Yeah spelt it wrong.

Abu Mus'ab your job for the week is to teach HugoBoss how to spell Islamic words, his always making mistakes.

[Abu Mus'ab]

if your a teacher you hear someone say amoungst their friends 'taliban' or osama bin laden in the school corridor when you walk past... what would you do
Nothing, i take it as a compliment :D

[dunya_or_akhira]

sorry bro...................i had to go to a pig farm with pigs if that serves consolation and also...i had to take part in remmebrance with the children cos i was the only class teacher at present...........:( all without prior notification............

a pig farm?? eewww man that must of stank!! yeh i was in assembly and the head of year 11 was talkiing about how brave 'our troops' are out there in the war and the remembrance thing and she was indirectly forcing the kids to purchase poppies

i think im the only one who hasnt worn the poppy!

[Abu Mus'ab]

Abu Mus'ab your job for the week is to teach HugoBoss how to spell Islamic words, his always making mistakes.
And while i'm at it I might as well correct your grammar as well :D it's "he's" or "he is" not "his" :nono:

[miss-islamic]

^^^That’s sad. May Allah (swt) guide you. :rolleyes:

[Hekmaa]

And while i'm at it I might as well correct your grammar as well :D it's "he's" or "he is" not "his" :nono:

Yes Jazakallah, so you have grammar classes as well?

[Abu Mus'ab]

^^^That’s sad. May Allah (swt) guide you. :rolleyes:
I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you throw at me bounces off and sticks back on you :up: (that's like such a kids line like *Roll Eyes*)

[$HugoBoss$]

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you throw at me bounces off and sticks back on you :up: (that's like such a kids line like *Roll Eyes*)

Whats this sticking with other sisters business :nono:

[Abu Mus'ab]

Yes Jazakallah, so you have grammar classes as well?
ai hai mai kuddhar jaa don't mention the word 'classes' :smack: i've been lazying about for so long now and not doing what I said I would :nono:

[bint]

whats wrong wid salma hayek? she aint fat..shes just not even fat ..i meaan i wud have said mroe im not able to :rolleyes: shes just not fat. shes just not too thin. the expectation from the typical society. ;)

[$HugoBoss$]

whats wrong wid salma hayek? she aint fat..shes just not even fat ..i meaan i wud have said mroe im not able to :rolleyes: shes just not fat. shes just not too thin. the expectation from the typical society. ;)

Is she muslim and if she isn't why is her name "salma" "hayek"

[bint]

Is she muslim and if she isn't why is her name "salma" "hayek"
hmm why u askin me fa?:rubeyes:

[$HugoBoss$]

hmm why u askin me fa?:rubeyes:

Since you know so much about her :coolbro:

[Umm 'Umarah]

i don't know why people make a such a big deal out of beyonce.. she is fat, she reminds me of a goose.

[dunya_or_akhira]

nah she aint muslim but somewhere in her family tree someone must of been...

[Abu Mus'ab]

Whats this sticking with other sisters business :nono:
What do they teach you amreekans in school :nono:

[$HugoBoss$]

i don't know why people make a such a big deal out of beyonce.. she is fat, she reminds me of a goose.

I met her this summer in best buy :p

[miss-islamic]

salma is half-arab. Why are religious people talking about celebrities? :rubeyes:

[fisabilllillah]

i don't know why people make a such a big deal out of beyonce.. she is fat, she reminds me of a goose.

she aint fat! astaghfurillah im sticking up for a vile woman but my point is thats not what i wud classify as beeing fat!

[fisabilllillah]

salma is half-arab. Why are religious people talking about celebrities? :rubeyes:

true my jahal past is haunting me at this minute :lailah:

[Saudi Prince]

I like fat people although I'm not fat! :)

[Umm 'Umarah]

she aint fat! astaghfurillah im sticking up for a vile woman but my point is thats not what i wud classify as beeing fat!

.. she has really fat thighs.

[Abu Mus'ab]

salma is half-arab. Why are religious people talking about celebrities? :rubeyes:
I'm sorry did i miss this rule that said 'religious people' can't talk about them? :eek3:

[fisabilllillah]

I'm sorry did i miss this rule that said 'religious people' can't talk about them? :eek3:

looool

[bint]

Since you know so much about her :coolbro:yeah like me n her were high school mates. :rolleyes:

salma is half-arab. Why are religious people talking about celebrities? :rubeyes:i aint classing myself at religious. i dont think anyone is capable of labeling themselves as religious :up:

she aint fat! astaghfurillah im sticking up for a vile woman but my point is thats not what i wud classify as beeing fat!
agreed :up:

[miss-islamic]

what a shame. Why does it matter? (From the kufar perspective) she should be valued of her singing not her body figure. I can’t believe what I’m reading. Aren’t we suppose to be sneering at the west for valuing women based on their body?

[Umm 'Umarah]

Wallahi, i don't mean to offend anyone who considers themself as being 'fat'.

people have different perceptions of fat, this does not necessarily mean a person is fat .

[fisabilllillah]

i hate the name beyonce astaghfurillah reminds me of a dirty person........

[bint]

Wallahi, i don't mean to offend anyone who considers themself as being 'fat'.

people have different perceptions of fat, this does not necessarily mean a person is fat .
hey hey. thats ure opinion. we all have opinions. and we shud just respect each other for it ;)

[fisabilllillah]

Wallahi, i don't mean to offend anyone who considers themself as being 'fat'.

people have different perceptions of fat, this does not necessarily mean a person is fat .

treu....u can be bigger in size but not have any fat on you.....but still be tones...it depends on your body mass

[niqaabi_muslima]

its all my faulttttttttttttttt sorrrrrrrrrry!!

[bint]

its all my faulttttttttttttttt sorrrrrrrrrry!!
no its not sis. :up:

[miss-islamic]

I'm sorry did i miss this rule that said 'religious people' can't talk about them? :eek3:Well they certainly act like they don't know about them. :rolleyes: Somebody here once made a thread about Muslim youth reading about having famous Muslim biography so as to have an alternative to the sport stars and movie stars. One of the mods said that Muslim on this forum don’t do that i.e care about celebrities. Quite naïve.

[Umm 'Umarah]

No, it's my fault..sorry everyone.

thanks, bint. :up:

[bint]

No, it's my fault..sorry everyone.

thanks, bint. :up:
again no its not. freedom of speech an all that. respectin one anothers opinions. im a bit of a hypocrite in that case..in some threads:rubeyes:

[miss-islamic]

Sure everybody has a right to his or her opinion but everyone else –- once its spoken or written -- also has a right to evaluate that opinion. That’s what discussion forums are for.

[Z-Blade]

Back on topic :rolleyes:.

:salams everyone.

Anyone find that when it comes to marriage, they are really specific about what their potential partner should look/act/be like? Or is it just me? I find that i'm really specific - even down to what kind of trainers he should/shouldnt wear! I know its bad but I have refused some offers based on things that were "shallow". How can I stop this? Is it cos i'm not ready, scared?

I dont want to refuse bro's for reasons like that but i just do, and I also dont want to be an old woman before i find "mr right".

And thats another thing, do u believe in that one person being out there for u? Ur soul mate or whatever? Is it a case of finding ur soul mate, or of some one becoming ur soul mate?

Just some random nonsense in my head these days :p

:wswrwb:,

LoL, you actually rejected someone because of the trainers they wear?! :rotfl: That's unbelievable :rotfl:. :D

I wouldn't reject someone based on that, if everything else checks out, just tell them after you're married to stop wearing such lame trainers. But then again she might throw a fit over it and cry me a river and ask for divorce because of that so Allah knows best (yeah I'm joking, but it COULD HAPPEN! :eek:).

And I do believe that you will marry the one you're destined to marry mainly because that's what I been taught, but I don't know how true this is. The way I see it, there are 3 major events of a person's life: birth, marriage and death. You get certificates for these :O.

"
Regarding marriage, we are again free to choose our spouse. Whether we stay together for life or get divorced is still a result of our choices. Allah ordains it before we are born and it is His will if we have successful marriages or not. Also, Allah determines whether we will have children. Some try very hard and are unsuccessful, while others are blessed with many. Some try to avoid having children but are given them anyway. In the Qur'an we read what means:

*{To Allah belongs the dominion of the Heavens and the Earth. He creates what He wills (and plans). He bestows male or female (children) according to His Will (and Plan), Or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He will: for He is full of Knowledge and Power.}* (Ash-Shurah 42:49-50)"

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1168265475508&pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam%2FAskAboutIslamE%2FAskAboutIslamE

And I believe they use ahadith like these to justify it, since marriage is one of the major events of a person's life, apart from birth and death:

"It is from knowing that everything that is meant to happen until the end of time has been written down 50,000 years before creation:

Allah has written the ordained measures (and due proportions) of the creation, fifty thousand years before the creation of the heavens and the earth. (Muslim)

Imagine, that special person, one’s soul-mate, the person who will fill that void or emptiness which exists in one’s heart, has already been determined. Allah has preordained that person. If it is meant to be, it will happen. So our patience and trust should be placed with Allah.

Conceptually the romance is there even before one sets eyes upon one’s prospective partner. It is in knowing that Allah is watching over them. They are out there somewhere waiting for the moment when Allah decrees it to “BE,” and only then will it be! Nothing can hurry of slow down one’s destiny, “what has hit you could not have missed you, and what has missed you could not have hit you.” "

http://www.muslimyouth.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=34066&sid=4b4ce08bda77e81dac33abd04ba856f1

It's kind of romantic if you think about it, since you're destined to be with the one in this life, and inshaAllah in the akhira you'll be together forever as husband and wife in Jannat. Not that I'm into that stuff of course :rolleyes: :o... :outta:

Wassalam.

[Umm 'Umarah]

you think that's funny, well... my family rejected someone because he had a creased shirt on when they went to see him, and they weren't impressed by that at all.

[Saudi Prince]

Sister, please don't feel like that.

I truly believe that REAL beauty comes from the soul. I've known a great number of slim and 'attractive' women, but they were VERY shallow and egomaniacs! :rubeyes:

Just because somebody is a size 0, it doesnt make them pretty. Your personality, your sense of humor, your intelligence, can make a person beautiful.

The society we live in tends to make women think they need to be super super thin to be attractive. The truth of the matter is - women are supposed to have curves. :p

It doesn't mean, however, that a person should completely lose control over their weight. There are too many health issues that go with that. Just focus on being healthy and keep up with the sports!

I agree, first impressions are very important.....but it's the personality which seals the deal to the heart. :up:


I think one should look for a combination of at least 65% of everything in a wife.

examples: If we take just two factors, beauty and deen.

90% beautiful + 65% deen is good.
60% beautiful + 90% deen is good.
10% beautiful + 95% deen is not good enough (for me) but if it's good for you then you're really really excellent! I admire you!

95% beautiful +90% deen is fantastic! :up: :)
100% beautiful +10% deen is bad! :(

What do you think? :)

[niqaabi_muslima]

:shock: subhanAllah.... poor guy....maybe his iron broke dwn or sumtn?

[Z-Blade]

:salams,

you think that's funny, well... my family rejected someone because he had a creased shirt on when they went to see him, and they weren't impressed by that at all.

LOL, still, that's more understandable (though maybe not the best thing to judge the dude on), since he should have been more presentable and be basically selling himself like you would do in a job interview!

Choice of trainers on the other hand isn't as easily changed/fixed :eek:.

Wassalam.

[Kubs]

I think one should look for a combination of at least 65% of everything in a wife.

examples: If we take just two factors, beauty and deen.

90% beautiful + 65% deen is good.
60% beautiful + 90% deen is good.
10% beautiful + 95% deen is not good enough (for me) but if it's good for you then you're really really excellent! I admire you!

95% beautiful +90% deen is fantastic! :up: :)
100% beautiful +10% deen is bad! :(

What do you think? :)

True.

95% beautiful and 90% deen.....is certainly the best option.

10% beautiful and 95% deen.....is also excellent, but realistically speaking, there has to be some sort of attraction to begin with.

[Umm 'Umarah]

:shock: subhanAllah.... poor guy....maybe his iron broke dwn or sumtn?

he had two weeks to prepare and get his shirt ironed...but no... he had to greet my brothers wearing a creasy shirt. it's all about making an impression (on my brothers). and that was a rejectable offence. plus, they had star wars DVD's in their house. My brothers hate star wars.

[Abu Mus'ab]

Well they certainly act like they don't know about them. :rolleyes: Somebody here once made a thread about Muslim youth reading about having famous Muslim biography so as to have an alternative to the sport stars and movie stars. One of the mods said that Muslim on this forum don’t do that i.e care about celebrities. Quite naïve.
That's called taking things out of context, just because people know or mention 'celebrities' don't mean they look up to them or anything.

You don't exactly see Hugo standing on his chair screaming tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccc and throwing his scarf at him now do you?

Everyone knows bush, nearly everyone talks about bush, that doesn't mean people care about bush.

[dunya_or_akhira]

how you present yourself does say a lot about you...so i think in all fairness your family was right because they know you best

[Saudi Prince]

True.

95% beautiful and 90% deen.....is certainly the best option.

10% beautiful and 95% deen.....is also excellent, but realistically speaking, there has to be some sort of attraction to begin with.

attraction? How? It's 10% only!

[Abu Mus'ab]

you think that's funny, well... my family rejected someone because he had a creased shirt on when they went to see him, and they weren't impressed by that at all.
*makes notes*

ehem it's for 'information' purposes only :nono:

[Saudi Prince]

he had two weeks to prepare and get his shirt ironed...but no... he had to greet my brothers wearing a creasy shirt. it's all about making an impression (on my brothers). and that was a rejectable offence. plus, they had star wars DVD's in their house. My brothers hate star wars.

Well, I do not think this is a good excuse for rejection unless it's an indication of something!!

[Saudi Prince]

how you present yourself does say a lot about you...so i think in all fairness your family was right because they know you best

It depends on circumstances!

[dunya_or_akhira]

well knowing its about a rishta and then not presenting yourself says a lot about a person...usually not very smart in appearance shows lack of organisation, lazyness etc

[Kubs]

attraction? How? It's 10% only!

That is why perhaps it's not the right option. There should be some sort of initial attraction.

[bint]

loooool! umm umarah. my bros sound just like ures. but my dad makes it out to be like he dont mind what the guy is like..but deep down i no what he wants. @)

creased shirt is a deff no no. esp when he had 2 weeks :eek3:

[Saudi Prince]

well knowing its about a rishta and then not presenting yourself says a lot about a person...usually not very smart in appearance shows lack of organisation, lazyness etc

But can't you help him to be more organised if this is true? Why are you looking for someone 100% free of shortcomings? What does this say about you? Well, once may say you're not ready for any compromise and we all know that marriage is all about compromisation!

[Umm 'Umarah]

the star wars part worried me more than the creasy shirt part actually, and i think it was fair, if they came to see me, and i was careless with my dress, then they would have scrutinized me for it, but they didn't, and they came to our house before my family went to theirs and they had two weeks to prepare, they also knew what my family were like before receiving us.

[Abu Mus'ab]

well knowing its about a rishta and then not presenting yourself says a lot about a person...usually not very smart in appearance shows lack of organisation, lazyness etc
Yep that's true, though if a person can make himself dishevelled and still look okay enough to get married then when he's put in order he'll be a bit better don't you think? :D

[Abu Mu'adh]

She has to be a Liverpool supporter or she ain't got a chance.:rolleyes:

[Abu Mus'ab]

loooool! umm umarah. my bros sound just like ures. but my dad makes it out to be like he dont mind what the guy is like..but deep down i no what he wants. @)

creased shirt is a deff no no. esp when he had 2 weeks :eek3:
define 'creased' :eek3:

[Umm 'Umarah]

Yep that's true, though if a person can make himself dishevelled and still look okay enough to get married then when he's put in order he'll be a bit better don't you think? :D

Dishevelledness of the hair, is a trait of the shaytaan isn't it? I read it in a hadith somewhere.

[Saudi Prince]

She has to be a Liverpool supporter or she ain't got a chance.:rolleyes:

and don't mind if he has a weak iman too. ;)

[Abu Mus'ab]

She has to be a Liverpool supporter or she ain't got a chance.:rolleyes:
So you mean you'd divorce her if she was a Manc supporter? :nono:

[Hisham Abu]

This thread certainly has a lot of food for thought. Personally if a creased shirt is what I wear, then that's how I'd go when meeting the family of a potential future spouse. Why try and be someone I’m not.

[Abu Mus'ab]

Dishevelledness of the hair, is a trait of the shaytaan isn't it? I read it in a hadith somewhere.
Kinda, a man came with dishevelled hair so rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sent him away to go comb his hair and when he came back rasoolullah salllallahu alayhi wa sallam said isn't that better than looking like a shaytaan - paraphrased, sumt like that anyway.

[Umm 'Umarah]

She has to be a Liverpool supporter or she ain't got a chance.:rolleyes:

footballers are haraam to look at.....would you condone such a thing to the point where she would have to even support a team?

astagfirullah! :nono:

[bint]

define 'creased' :eek3:

err what/ :scratch:

:outta:
crisp clean crease free clothes. :eek: the 5 C's:hidban:
So you mean you'd divorce her if she was a Manc supporter? :nono:

i no how shallow. manc rules:coolbro:

[Abu Mu'adh]

So you mean you'd divorce her if she was a Manc supporter? :nono:

no you plank, before marriage, I wouldn't even consider her if she wasn't a Liverpool fan.

[Saudi Prince]

This thread certainly has a lot of food for thought. Personally if a creased shirt is what I wear, then that's how I'd go when meeting the family of a potential future spouse. Why try and be someone I’m not.

True! Why pretends Mr./Ms. pretenders? :)

[miss-islamic]

That's called taking things out of context, just because people know or mention 'celebrities' don't mean they look up to them or anything.</p>
You don't exactly see Hugo standing on his chair screaming tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccc and throwing his scarf at him now do you?


Everyone knows bush, nearly everyone talks about bush, that doesn't mean people care about bush.Knowing about bush is not same as knowing about celebrities. Bush and his actions affect the world and is on the news and watching the news at least once in awhile is important. You know about celebrities by watching movies (haram), listining to music (haram), and reading gossip magazines (haram). And it’s not only about knowing celebrities (salma, beyonce) but making snide remarks about their bodies. I take it they think and talk like that about ordinary people too. It’s a bad habit girls tend to have—something we should all work on.

[Abu Mus'ab]

This thread certainly has a lot of food for thought. Personally if a creased shirt is what I wear, then that's how I'd go when meeting the family of a potential future spouse. Why try and be someone I’m not.
I know what you mean, but for something like shaadification surely a little more effort is needed than just being your normal self :nono:

[Abu Mu'adh]

footballers are haraam to look at.....would you condone such a thing to the point where she would have to even support a team?

astagfirullah! :nono:

better if she wasn't into football at all on 2nd thoughts, couldn't bare watching a game and having to explain the rules to her time & time again:rotfl:

[Saudi Prince]

footballers are haraam to look at.....would you condone such a thing to the point where she would have to even support a team?

astagfirullah! :nono:

No it's not haram!

[Hisham Abu]

I know what you mean, but for something like shaadification surely a little more effort is needed than just being your normal self :nono:I don't know, becase for the rest of my life I can only be my normal self, and not someone I'm not. And God if you try too hard on the meeting stage your wife ain't gonna forget it, she'll be picking at every little thing you do contrary to that first day.

[Umm 'Umarah]

Kinda, a man came with dishevelled hair so rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sent him away to go comb his hair and when he came back rasoolullah salllallahu alayhi wa sallam said isn't that better than looking like a shaytaan - paraphrased, sumt like that anyway.

Jazak'Allah that's the one. :up:

Knowing about bush is not same as knowing about celebrities. Bush and his actions affect the world and is on the news and watching the news at least once in awhile is important. You know about celebrities by watching movies (haram), listining to music (haram), and reading gossip magazines (haram). And it’s not only about knowing celebrities (salma, beyonce) but making snide remarks about their bodies. I take it they think and talk like that about ordinary people too. It’s a bad habit girls tend to have—something we should all work on.

oh i do apologise miss-islamic for making such snide remarks, we'll get back to talking about how oppressive muslim men of afghanistaan are for not letting women work. :rolleyes: that be better for you

better if she wasn't into football at all on 2nd thoughts, couldn't bare watching a game and having to explain the rules to her time & time again:rotfl:

pfffttt... what is there to explain about sweaty men shouting at each other running up and down a field.

[Abu Mu'adh]

I don't know, becase for the rest of my life I can only be my normal self, and not someone I'm not. And God if you try too hard on the meeting stage your wife ain't gonna forget it, she'll be picking at every little thing you do contrary to that first day.

first impressions are very important, once the nikah is done i'm sure your future spouse will appreaciate you for who you are and understand that you did to make an impression, and fingers crossed let you dress the way you want on most occasions.

[miss-islamic]

oh i do apologise miss-islamic for making such snide remarks, we'll get back to talking about how oppressive muslim men of afghanistaan are for not letting women work. :rolleyes: that be better for you
Ofcourse you can make sarcastic comments about it -- it’s not you going through it. Live in the west, i bet? The taliban would've whipped you for the comments you made in this thread. :rolleyes:

[bint]

ahem

[Umm 'Umarah]

I don't know, becase for the rest of my life I can only be my normal self, and not someone I'm not. And God if you try too hard on the meeting stage your wife ain't gonna forget it, she'll be picking at every little thing you do contrary to that first day.

not really akhi, it's just important to make a good first impression, especially for an occassion or an important meeting. i'm sure your wife wouldn't mind, In my case, I don't think I would personally have minded (if that brother was to be my hubby) if he wore creasy shirts at home or whatever, i would have ironed them for him so they wouldn't be creasy in future. but he had to make an impression to others which at that point he didn't make a very good one.

Your wife will love you for who you are Insha'Allah.

[Abu Mus'ab]

I don't know, becase for the rest of my life I can only be my normal self, and not someone I'm not. And God if you try too hard on the meeting stage your wife ain't gonna forget it, she'll be picking at every little thing you do contrary to that first day.
Yep i know all too well what you mean hence why i said "though if a person can make himself dishevelled and still look okay enough to get married then when he's put in order he'll be a bit better don't you think?"

You should put anoogly photo of yourself on your marraige CV so if she can look at it and say yes then atleast she wont be disappointed if she sees you aint as oogly as she thought :outta:

[bint]

not just first impressions. dont want him lookin like a slob once hes won over ya heart do ya? make sure u let him no that!

[Abu Mu'adh]

Yep i know all too well what you mean hence why i said "though if a person can make himself dishevelled and still look okay enough to get married then when he's put in order he'll be a bit better don't you think?"

You should put anoogly photo of yourself on your marraige CV so if she can look at it and say yes then atleast she wont be disappointed if she sees you aint as oogly as she thought :outta:

LOL marriage CV? when my mate told me about this concept the other day I couldn't stop laughing, it was the first time i'd ever heard of a such a thing and now again, I don't know if he was actually serious or not but mentioned that this is it how it works now...is this true?

you got a marriage cv?

:rotfl:

[Hisham Abu]

I get what you all mean. Alhamdulilah, I don't wear creased shirts so Insha’Allaah this at least will not be an issue for me.

[Hisham Abu]

you got a marriage cv?I thought this was a joke? I don't even understand the list of hundred questions. Might as well sit a 3 hour exam. Is this for real?

[Abu Mus'ab]

LOL marriage CV? when my mate told me about this concept the other day I couldn't stop laughing, it was the first time i'd ever heard of a such a thing and now again, I don't know if he was actually serious or not but mentioned that this is it how it works now...is this true?

you got a marriage cv?

:rotfl:
Yep it's true :| nope i ent got one, i have no intention of making one, and besides i haven't seen one yet to know what gets written in it :rubeyes:

[Abu Mus'ab]

I get what you all mean. Alhamdulilah, I don't wear creased shirts so Insha’Allaah this at least will not be an issue for me.
What kinda trainers do you wear? :rubeyes:

[Abu Mus'ab]

I thought this was a joke? I don't even understand the list of hundred questions. Might as well sit a 3 hour exam. Is this for real?
Nope it's real, we even got one uncle on this forum who does it for the kids :outta:

[Umm 'Umarah]

Ofcourse you can make sarcastic comments about it -- it’s not you going through it. Live in the west, i bet? The taliban would've whipped you for the comments you made in this thread. :rolleyes:

oh really, i'll keep a lookout in case my talibaani brothers come to whip me for my comments....but, oh wait...why would the talibaan know about beyonce when they are 'religious' people.

please spare yourself from taking the moral high ground with me.

[Hisham Abu]

What kinda trainers do you wear? :rubeyes:Timberlands, why you know a sister for me *smile*

[Hisham Abu]

Nope it's real, we even got one uncle on this forum who does it for the kids :outta:Subhan'Allaah, who? Do tell.

[dunya_or_akhira]

i know a brother who met his to be in laws in makkah in the masjid and they interviewed him in the masjid...they made him recite quran in front of their sister !!

how embarassing esp since her brothers are like alims and are good on tajweed,,,but alhumdulillah the brother passed!

[Abu Mus'ab]

Timberlands, why you know a sister for me *smile*
in the words of one of the brothers here, "if i knew one do you think i'd be telling you? :rotfl:" :outta:

[insomniac]

why are you fighting for sisters.....? we got enough fighting against the Muslims and now we got Muslims and Muslims dealing blows on matters of difference, please spare us the sarcasm and think Adhab al Ikhtilaaf :insha: :)

[Umm 'Umarah]

why are you fighting for sisters.....? we got enough fighting against the Muslims and now we got Muslims and Muslims dealing blows on matters of difference, please spare us the sarcasm and think Adhab al Ikhtilaaf :insha: :)

Jazak'Allah sis. will do Insha'Allah :up:

[Hisham Abu]

in the words of one of the brothers here, "if i knew one do you think i'd be telling you? :rotfl:" :outta: *lol*

why are you fighting for sisters?

We ain't fighting for no sisters *smile* I'm just being silly now.

[miss-islamic]

oh really, i'll keep a lookout in case my talibaani brothers come to whip me for my comments....but, oh wait...why would the talibaan know about beyonce when they are 'religious' people.


please spare yourself from taking the moral high ground with me.Trust me, they would know – at least the afghan version of Beyonce. They have to know about that stuff so they can whip people who try to go near it -- necessary evil. I can take whatever ground I want with you. :rolleyes: I’m not the one who talks about the “beautiful niqab” the covers up a women’s body and then goes on to criticize other women’s bodies for not being good enough.:rolleyes:

[insomniac]

saw white part a bit later! I thought everyone is as slow as me :smack:

[insomniac]

Trust me, they would know – at least the afghan version of Beyonce. They have to know about that stuff so they can whip people who try to go near it -- necessary evil. I can take whatever ground I want with you. :rolleyes: I’m not the one who talks about the “beautiful niqab” the covers up a women’s body and then goes on to criticize other women’s bodies for not being good enough.:rolleyes:


please stop


:jkk:

[miss-islamic]

whatever.

[Umm 'Umarah]

Trust me, they would know – at least the afghan version of Beyonce. They have to know about that stuff so they can whip people who try to go near it -- necessary evil. I can take whatever ground I want with you. :rolleyes: I’m not the one who talks about the “beautiful niqab” the covers up a women’s body and then goes on to criticize other women’s bodies for not being good enough.:rolleyes:

Jazak'Allah, for exposing my faults and the talibaans. Insha'allah may Allah guide us and forgive us. Ameen.

[insomniac]

subhanAllaah, ok then just do as you do.

:salams

[dunya_or_akhira]

women hey...us brothers are chilled in comparison...

[bint]

cmon sis miss islamic n umm ummarah...love each other for the sake of Allah?

miss islamic dont give me 'whatever' as an answer :torture: :o

[insomniac]

women hey...us brothers are chilled in comparison...

not all women

so don't start :freedom: !

[miss-islamic]

You guys would fight it out physically. That's healthy sometimes. :rolleyes:

[bint]

You guys would fight it out physically. That's healthy sometimes. :rolleyes:
i wud too :rotfl: wud be fun

[dunya_or_akhira]

no no us brothers dont get physical much at all...i think the tongue is more harmful

[insomniac]

sometimes it helps not to type when you are angry - respond with a clear mind without seeing red :insha: :up:

[Umm 'Umarah]

I'm not fighting with you miss-islamic, i was just being sarcastic in my response, I have nothing against you, my sincere apologies for any offence caused.

and I apologise on behalf of my talibaani brothers who have caused much offence to you :rotfl:

sorry sis i'm only joking...you really shouldn't pay attention let alone take offence.

[$HugoBoss$]

yeah like me n her were high school mates. :rolleyes:

Yeah right you guys were high school mates, how come you never told me this before????? :D

[insomniac]

back on topic -

we all have specifics that we want in our partners - but maybe try and look beyond the trainers (and most material baggage) :insha: - cos when that trend dies down - you may be left with pondscu m personality :S and subhanAllaah thas kinda scary

:insha: go more for deen and whether you're attracted to the person overlooking their dress sense (to some extent - clowns need not apply :p)

[Hekmaa]

lets stop being warm fuzzy peace activists:

if you are fat whether male or female, then you have not been following the sunnah and as you get older it gets worse and your wudu, istinja and keeping clean becomes harder.

Healthy size is a ratio weight to height here is a guide, moderation is important in Islam, now 5-1 percent more is not a big deal, but just dont get comfortable eating when happy and sad...eat three moderate meals a day, fast Monday and Thursdays, and exercise.

[miss-islamic]

I'm not fighting with you miss-islamic, i was just being sarcastic in my response, I have nothing against you, my sincere apologies for any offence caused.

and I apologise on behalf of my talibaani brothers who have caused much offence to you :rotfl:


sorry sis i'm only joking...you really shouldn't pay attention let alone take offence.You only find it funny because you’re living in the west and are getting your news from al jazeera. And they’re my “brothers” too — I’m from Afghanistan. I’m sorry for exposing your fault. (I think saying sorry is lame. People only say it to make themselves feel better.) See you around -- Wa alikum assalam.

[insomniac]

man this is just a joke...

:(

[bint]

Yeah right you guys were high school mates, how come you never told me this before????? :D
i did. maybe ure eys werent big enuf? :outta:

[$HugoBoss$]

i did. maybe ure eys werent big enuf? :outta:

lol no they were big enough, you just hiding all these things from us, what next you related to shahid afridi :D

[insomniac]

:icon_offtopic:

[Z-Blade]

:icon_offtopic:
Yep, poor sister's gonna expect some constructive replies, but will just see a whole load of spam. And trust me, spam don't look good :coolbro:.

Wassalam.

[Ebony]

The problem isnt about being specific. Its about not being able to compromise.

[insomniac]

Yep, poor sister's gonna expect some constructive replies, but will just see a whole load of spam. And trust me, spam don't look good :coolbro:.

Wassalam.


couldn't agree more - spam don't look good

[Ithar]

you dont have a specific criteria.......thats 99% muslim women

99% of muslim women are not slim!

why slim ? its my personal preference, my choice.

[`asiya]

when you meet the most perfect guy, you won't even notice the atrocious pair of trainers he is wearing. trust me you won't, it might bother you for a while, but then you will realise, that his personality is much more important and that compensates for other things.

But, the fact is...nobody is perfect. that is so true and anyway u can always take him shopping for new ones once ur married insha Allah but a good muslim husband is hard to find, so id say anything apart from the deen then forget it, because it means nothing looks, wealth, beauty, agility,all can be snatched away and what about when he gets older maybe even mid - late 20`s ...then what ..divorce him for going bald and patchy looking ;)

[miss-islamic]

People can change religiously too. Nothing is guaranteed.

[`asiya]

People can change religiously too. Nothing is guaranteed.

no one knows what the future will hold, but surely its more important to find someone who understands how to treat his wives and family that and what his responsabilites to this ummah are, than to marry a man who wears galliano. A man who knows his deen and understands it well is unlikely to be worried about whats brand of cool trainers or whatever is on his feet

[insomniac]

Dear thread-starter,

I do apologise for going offtopic but the below needs answering, :insha: I hope you understand...

"it's not normal for a guy to know Bollywood music and if he does then there are some serious issues"

Didn't seem like you were jk around when you said that, i'm not angry i just don't know why you said it thats all.

bollywood songs entail girls and guys prancing about and singing in fields of flowers - so it's not really macho (man) like - that is what I was implying. And it was a joke - (I definitely won't be doing that again)

sorry for any offence caused.

:wswrwb: