Need Help Plz

[zeshkani]

salam

i just need some help with this, its so confusing. anyway well its time for me to get married and there is girl that i like and she does too, iam a good muslim alhamdulliah, but the parents of the girl they call them selfs muslims, but their so weak in religion, they drink and eat haram thats what i heard from a friend and i did see them drink, but if i would get married with her inshallha i will teach her and increase her knowlodge about islam, and another think is that her parents a very nice, they are good people just with a bad habit. so my friend told me that i maybe should look the other way and look for another wife, but the thing is that i like her and she does too, and i feel good with her, but here is the main thing, she already told her parents that she loves me and i love her and her parents already know me and my family and they already approved of me, but i still need my parents go to and ask for her hand, but here is the question. should i marry her even tho her parents are like that, or should i just look for another wife ? its just so confusing i really dont know what to do, i feel happy that her parents approved of me, but on the other hand i thing iam doing a mistake any comments are welcome, because i need to make my descision very soon

salam

[$HugoBoss$]

salam

i just need some help with this, its so confusing. anyway well its time for me to get married and there is girl that i like and she does too, iam a good muslim alhamdulliah, but the parents of the girl they call them selfs muslims, but their so weak in religion, they drink and eat haram thats what i heard from a friend and i did see them drink, but if i would get married with her inshallha i will teach her and increase her knowlodge about islam, and another think is that her parents a very nice, they are good people just with a bad habit. so my friend told me that i maybe should look the other way and look for another wife, but the thing is that i like her and she does too, and i feel good with her, but here is the main thing, she already told her parents that she loves me and i love her and her parents already know me and my family and they already approved of me, but i still need my parents go to and ask for her hand, but here is the question. should i marry her even tho her parents are like that, or should i just look for another wife ? its just so confusing i really dont know what to do, i feel happy that her parents approved of me, but on the other hand i thing iam doing a mistake any comments are welcome, because i need to make my descision very soon

salam

Are you going to live with her parents???? NO!!!!!!

So than whats the problem, think about it for a second you have nothing to do with the parents. I would never sacrifice someone i like and vice versa because there parents have a few bad habits. You shouldn't even be asking this.

[PiElle2]

Are you going to live with her parents???? NO!!!!!!

So than whats the problem, think about it for a second you have nothing to do with the parents. I would never sacrifice someone i like and vice versa because there parents have a few bad habits. You shouldn't even be asking this.


you sure are a tiger that bites! :outta:

bro zeshkani... you need evaluate if you are doing this for yourself or for her or for Allah ta' alaa.... ask yourself if you can stand the family's behaviour, if they do not change forever. And if they do change in the course of time, be it short term , or long term... Alhamdulillah.... :)

[UniQue_BeDouin]

Salam i reckon u should do istikhara and see how that turns out. and take my advice when u marry someone usually and most likely you end up marrying the whole family lol i've seen it happen to to many times. so think about and yeah salams take it easy

[afrasayab]

salam

i just need some help with this, its so confusing. anyway well its time for me to get married and there is girl that i like and she does too, iam a good muslim alhamdulliah, but the parents of the girl they call them selfs muslims, but their so weak in religion, they drink and eat haram thats what i heard from a friend and i did see them drink, but if i would get married with her inshallha i will teach her and increase her knowlodge about islam, and another think is that her parents a very nice, they are good people just with a bad habit. so my friend told me that i maybe should look the other way and look for another wife, but the thing is that i like her and she does too, and i feel good with her, but here is the main thing, she already told her parents that she loves me and i love her and her parents already know me and my family and they already approved of me, but i still need my parents go to and ask for her hand, but here is the question. should i marry her even tho her parents are like that, or should i just look for another wife ? its just so confusing i really dont know what to do, i feel happy that her parents approved of me, but on the other hand i thing iam doing a mistake any comments are welcome, because i need to make my descision very soon

salam

Dude, remember this, 'to get the right answer, you need to ask the right question'. Never once in you post you have said anything about the girl if she is wise, religious or not? Although you said many times that you love her, she loves you, you both love each other, you both feel good about each other, blah blah blah:rolleyes:

You are not going to marry her parents, her parents could be non-muslims and it would still be ok for you to marry the girl as long as she has the desire and is will to become a good muslimah or is a good muslimah. No wonder you are soo confused.... :confused:

[PiElle2]

Salam i reckon u should do istikhara and see how that turns out. and take my advice when u marry someone usually and most likely you end up marrying the whole family lol i've seen it happen to to many times. so think about and yeah salams take it easy


do you think one can get married and forget about the family...? a lot of people think they can, well, in reality, they should not and it doesn't happen that way.

[UniQue_BeDouin]

do you think one can get married and forget about the family...? a lot of people think they can, well, in reality, they should not and it doesn't happen that way.

yeah im saying that not only do u look at the potential wife u look at the family aswell cause soon enough you're gonna be part of that family thats why i said most of the time u marry the whole family when u get married :rolleyes:
hence i know that u cant just get married and forget about you're inlaws i never said that

[PiElle2]

yeah im saying that not only do u look at the potential wife u look at the family aswell cause soon enough you're gonna be part of that family thats why i said most of the time u marry the whole family when u get married :rolleyes:
hence i know that u cant just get married and forget about you're inlaws i never said that


i understand and agree what you are saying, what i am trying to say is... a lot of people "think" they can get away with family problems by ignoring them... or just "thinking" and "hoping" situation will get better by itself...

[shayra]

ASALAM ALIKUM!
bro i think that u should get marry to her bcoz when u get marry to her u will teach her more in de islamic way n it is good that u r giving lesson to her:up:.......u will give her a new life.....................
(jazakal khairak)

[zeshkani]

her family are muslim, but they know very little, she is a muslim but if i would marry her i would teach her alot more about islam and things like that. and the reason why iam marring her, i mean her religious status is weak but insahllha i will teach her, she good looking, and stuff like that, but i think its a good match, thats why iam going for it, but because of her family that were iam still debating

[Baybars]

I think it boils down to how tolerant you are. If your confused and struggling right now, you might not necessarily have the tolerance to deal with their shortcomings compassionately, when you have your own children to think about; children that happen to be also be their grandchildren. If you can accept that they are good people, with bad habits, then trust in Allah, pray for then and take care of your own imaan. You might not be able to change people, but people can learn from being around you, and you may be the blessing that Allah sends to this girl's parents. It all depends on what you can take, what you can let slide, and the risks that you’re prepared to take.

[zeshkani]

i think i will refuse, and look for a religious wife that understands certain things, but these days even back home (Kosovo & Bosnia) its not easy to find a religious wife because most of the femals have gone mad

[Supernova Nebula]

i think i will refuse, and look for a religious wife that understands certain things, but these days even back home (Kosovo & Bosnia) its not easy to find a religious wife because most of the femals have gone mad

lol are u mad? I know some bosnian and balkan sisters in general who are practicing Muslims. u just need to work harder to find them..and about your situation, why not just marry her and help her to improve since u mention u both have feeelings for one another, if she loves you, she'll change at first maybe for you but gradually for Allah. Women are usually more than willing to chnage for the better than men and you'll be rewarded more for bringing another soul to a righteous path.

[`asiya]

ASALAM ALIKUM!
bro i think that u should get marry to her bcoz when u get marry to her u will teach her more in de islamic way n it is good that u r giving lesson to her:up:.......u will give her a new life.....................
(jazakal khairak)

her family are muslim, but they know very little, she is a muslim but if i would marry her i would teach her alot more about islam and things like that. and the reason why iam marring her, i mean her religious status is weak but insahllha i will teach her, she good looking, and stuff like that, but i think its a good match, thats why iam going for it, but because of her family that were iam still debating

:wswrwb: hmm but surely she should be seeking that out for herself too insha Allah, how many bros end up married to a woman for her beauty, ( and they have to be honest with themselves about why it is theyre marrying and thats usually a huge part of it ) and being a slave to beauty and age and status of a woman,and her nationality only means compromising the deen...

does she even want to learn to practise Islam properly in the first place.. is she even going to accept this teaching from u.. my rule is never assume that a muslim will want to practice islam, or even understand it as u do, after they are married if they arent practising it, or understanding it beforehand.. seems there is a lot to discuss

[$HugoBoss$]

Look bro i don't like my future father in law that much but at the end of the day i still have to maintain the respect and importance of that relationship. I don't personally care how he is, what does that have to do with the person you want to marry. Your gonna have your own home one day, think long term bro not short term like eevrybody else does.

[Supernova Nebula]

Look bro i don't like my future father in law that much but at the end of the day i still have to maintain the respect and importance of that relationship. I don't personally care how he is, what does that have to do with the person you want to marry. Your gonna have your own home one day, think long term bro not short term like eevrybody else does.

:up: and to add, since she knows how u feel for her, willnot it only break her heart if u just leave her?

[zeshkani]

all your words have so much meaning, your right ill have a home of my own inshallha, and your right if i just leave now, her heart will break, and i know that if i refuse i will regredt it later on, ill think about because ill make up my mind at the end of the week, inshallha its for the good

[GAL-actic]

all your words have so much meaning, your right ill have a home of my own inshallha, and your right if i just leave now, her heart will break, and i know that if i refuse i will regredt it later on, ill think about because ill make up my mind at the end of the week, inshallha its for the good

And don't forget to pray Salat al-Istikhara.

W'Salaam

[abood]

ASSALAM ALAIKUM,
brother i will say if she is really in ur destiny and ALLAH also want u to marry her then dont be late....marry her.....its is like that u r making some 1 muslim and its like that u will be hold her hand and take her to jannah......1st do istikhar and if it is ok then marry her brother before some non-practicing muslim take her with him and make him and her children non-practicing muslim and in this way most of her generation will not practice islam and will act like non-muslim......marry her and make ur and her children a practicing muslim and ur and her generation will be a practicing muslim and help ummah and will be able to go jannah...and u will be rewarded a great reward by ALLAH ,.inshaALLAH and ameen.
WASSALAM.

[$HugoBoss$]

ASSALAM ALAIKUM,
brother i will say if she is really in ur destiny and ALLAH also want u to marry her then dont be late....marry her.....its is like that u r making some 1 muslim and its like that u will be hold her hand and take her to jannah......1st do istikhar and if it is ok then marry her brother before some non-practicing muslim take her with him and make him and her children non-practicing muslim and in this way most of her generation will not practice islam and will act like non-muslim......marry her and make ur and her children a practicing muslim and ur and her generation will be a practicing muslim and help ummah and will be able to go jannah...and u will be rewarded a great reward by ALLAH ,.inshaALLAH and ameen.
WASSALAM.

How do you know for a fact if he doesn't marry her a non practicing brother is going to?????

[abood]

How do you know for a fact if he doesn't marry her a non practicing brother is going to?????

ALLAH HHU ALEM brother any thing can happen no 1 knows.....and if he will marry him then he will be rewarded by ALLAH.

[$HugoBoss$]

ALLAH HHU ALEM brother any thing can happen no 1 knows.....and if he will marry him then he will be rewarded by ALLAH.

:eek:

[abood]

:eek:
really inshaALLAH.....if he will not feel any petty on her.....u know wat i mean...he should think that may be its right to marry her and he loves her 4 the sake of ALLAH.and seconly he should do this 4 islam....and 4 this ummah.