Question...

[newandconfused]

I don't know exactly how to ask this question. I'll try to explain as best as I can. It might sound stupid, and i hope i don't offend anyone. If there are any people here from egypt, i would be really interested in hearing your point of view.

Ok..here goes..I know everyone has feelings, obviously..but with the muslim men being somewhat "allowed" to marry a 2nd wife. Does that change the feelings of if a husband were to cheat on his wife with another woman? I would think not, but I'm trying to figure out, if there is a difference, in how a woman from egypt, and a woman from the u.s. would react or feel, if they found their husband was unfaithful to them? I'm just trying to hear if there is any cultural difference between this subject? I know some things are done differently and seen differently sometimes between the two cultures but I'm just wondering if anyone knows about this situation. :confused:

[Umm Al Shifaa]

I dont think there is a comparison... in polygamy they are fully aware of eachother (as in wives) and there are many who are even friends.

It basicly comes down to our deen, because thats the only thing that governs our life....so if is islaam says its correct; we shout: ITS CORRECT!

hope that helps?

[Abu Mu'adh]

Cheating and polygny are two different issues, I don't think race comes into it when a man cheats on his wife, regarding polygny some races/cultures are open minded about it some won't allow it, pakistani women by their nature are far more clingy and jealous type compared to middle eastern/Arab women.

[.: Anna :.]

Its not the same thing. If a Muslim woman found that her husband cheated on her by commiting zina... I don't think she will say "well he would have been allowed another wife anyway, so its practically the same thing."
Just because we do try to accept the idea that our husbands are allowed to remarry if they want to, it doesn't mean we will accept Zina and the reason why is because polygamy is from our religion and we have to try to accept it for that reason. Honestly if most people do find their husband wants to remarry, they probably will find that hard to deal with and difficult, upsetting... but would force themselves to accept it because we know from our religion is alright. As for Zinaa we would be even more upset and angry and because it is totally forbidden in our religion there is nothing there to tell us that we should accept it or become okay with it. Rather, knowing all the rights the husband has that he could even have taken up to 4 wives if he felt it really necessary, and that still despite this he chose to transgress the bounds and disobey Allah, and disrespect his wife like that.... I think very few people will accept it

[Umm Al Shifaa]

Anna you put it in a much better way!

pakistani women by their nature are far more clingy and jealous type compared to middle eastern/Arab women.

Doesn't have anything to do with their 'nature',just because they have perhaps not been exposed to it as much as some arab cultures.

[Abu Mu'adh]

Anna you put it in a much better way!

.

Doesn't have anything to do with their 'nature',just because they have perhaps not been exposed to it as much as some arab cultures.

Both are exposed to it equally in the UK.

[Pro_Candy]

If my husband cheated on me, I'd probably leave him. If he got a second wife, we could discuss and possibly work through it. Maybe.

[Kal-El]

The idea of cheating in the context of relationships is based on monogamous relationships mostly. The concept of "cheating" is being with another at the same time with your first partner, or not telling them of your change of heart so its basically evoking a "love triangle" so to speak.

In Islam, polygamous marriages are acceptable so the idea of cheating is very different. Firstly, if your husband becomes interested in another woman - he can court her. In non-Muslim relationships, this is defined as "cheating" or betrayal. But in Islam, he can only do this with the intention of marriage. If he is courting her without that intention, then yes we see this also as cheating and betrayal. But if he does have the intention of marriage, then you cannot define it as that as he is allowed a polygamous relationship.

It's just the transition from monogamous to polygamous on paper can be defined as cheating, but in Islam - it all depends on the method and motive. But it can have emotional similarities without a doubt. Most wives would not take too kindly for their husband to one day tell her hes getting married to another woman.

[newandconfused]

Thank you guys for the responses, they have helped :)

[newandconfused]

So....Is it safe to say that cheating, is still cheating, and for the most part unacceptable, no matter what your culture or religion is?

[.: Anna :.]

Yes of course!!

[neelu]

What is the difference between a relationship in which:

a) A Muslim woman moves into the house of a Muslim man and they have a sexual relationship and

b) A Muslim woman who goes to a masjid to say 'qabool' 3 times among witnesses THEN moves into the house of a Muslim man and they have a sexual relationship?

The action (ie the sexual relationship) is the same in each instance, the only difference is a) is haraam and b) is permitted by Allah (swt). I feel your line of questioning is trying to do the same by comparing two types of relationships involving the same action but in which only one of those options is permitted by Allah (swt)- meaning only one of the actions should be deemed as acceptable by the Ummah.