View Full Version : Muslim Speed dating - Halal or Haram ?
Went to one of these tonight. Felt like a cattle market, really artifical. You spent about 4 mins with each person. It felt like you were basing your whole decsion on looks.
I think deep down islamically it was wrong, maybe that why there was no fruitfullness in it.
Has anyone else been on one of these things ? Would people on here go ?
Lord Summerisle
17-10-07, 09:37 PM
Went to one of these tonight. Felt like a cattle market, really artifical. You spent about 4 mins with each person. It felt like you were basing your whole decsion on looks.
I think deep down islamically it was wrong, maybe that why there was no fruitfullness in it.
Has anyone else been on one of these things ? Would people on here go ?
I've been to three over the years (not Muslim ones, of course!). They do have quite an artificial feel to them, very 'conveyor belt'. That said, they can be a great laugh and possibly a good way to meet people.
I've been to three over the years (not Muslim ones, of course!). They do have quite an artificial feel to them, very 'conveyor belt'. That said, they can be a great laugh and possibly a good way to meet people.
lol @ conveyer belt
huh? What's muslim speed dating? :S
I've been to three over the years (not Muslim ones, of course!). They do have quite an artificial feel to them, very 'conveyor belt'. That said, they can be a great laugh and possibly a good way to meet people.
non muslim ones ?
Sabr&Shukr
17-10-07, 09:52 PM
err whats this - a rishta every 5 mins and then you give your answer at the end??
Doesnt sound like the best way to meet your potential spouse. No disrespect to anyone but you could have any tom, david or hassan turning up...
And what about the ladies? Mahrems present? Hijab adhered to? How can you assess someones deen in 5 minutes?
Sorry 'Muslim Speed Dating 'sounds like just another non-islamic thing tried to make halal.....my best advice would be to stay away insha'allah, im not surprised you didnt feel comfortable.
Lord Summerisle
17-10-07, 09:54 PM
non muslim ones ?
Yes, but I imagine that they are run on the same principles.
15-25 men and women, each wearing a badge with their name and a number on it. Everyone has a score card (cheesy!!!), and they spend 3-4 minutes with each person until a bell rings then the men move round to the next woman.
If a couple 'tick each others boxes' on the score card, the organisers put them in touch after the event. Was that the same for you?
Lord Summerisle
17-10-07, 09:55 PM
Did anyone wear Niqab? That would kind of defeat the object!
"Doesnt sound like the best way to meet your potential spouse. No disrespect to anyone but you could have any tom, david or hassan turning up..."
ha ha ha ha, lit did feel like that. some guys were clearly players, male & female.
a couple fo the more sensible girls left early. i think they were just as comfortable as me. there was a girl in hijab, was the loudest of them all.
yes, perhaps it wasnt the best option. but desperate times called for desperate measures. so how do people here go about finding a spouse ? being a revert, i dont have friends or family who can find me someone so easliy. i have tried muslim matrimonial sites too, not much luck either.
Sabr&Shukr
17-10-07, 10:14 PM
du'a brother.
I know you want more practical advice than that but that really is the best advice.
Having said that Allah swt isnt gonna drop mrs right on your doorstep just like that. If you are hungry for food you go to the shops right? If you need an education you go to school.So where is the best place to meet people insha'allah? through the mosque.
My best advice to you, apart from the du'a, would be to get yourself as involved in the community as possible, via the mosque preferably. You never know what brother you may meet you has a sister......etc etc...this is how Allah swt makes people's paths cross insha'alllah.
Remember pious women are for pious men - so keep yourself on the Deen no matter how hard you may find it and you will have your reward insha'allah.
Stay away from things like the speed dating though - its like fake bacon - something haraam disguised or re-worked as halal.
I know its tough....but its a test for you, Allah swt is preparing you for marriage by giving you patience insha'allah :D
Abu Mu'adh
17-10-07, 10:18 PM
"Doesnt sound like the best way to meet your potential spouse. No disrespect to anyone but you could have any tom, david or hassan turning up..."
ha ha ha ha, lit did feel like that. some guys were clearly players, male & female.
a couple fo the more sensible girls left early. i think they were just as comfortable as me. there was a girl in hijab, was the loudest of them all.
yes, perhaps it wasnt the best option. but desperate times called for desperate measures. so how do people here go about finding a spouse ? being a revert, i dont have friends or family who can find me someone so easliy. i have tried muslim matrimonial sites too, not much luck either.
Hit the GPU event in London.
Hit the GPU event in London.
what the :rubeyes:
Sabr&Shukr
17-10-07, 10:20 PM
are you serious?
Abu Mu'adh
17-10-07, 10:23 PM
The dude is desperate, I'm just opening up avenues for the brother.
Sabr&Shukr
17-10-07, 10:26 PM
well just keep them halal yeah? Dont want to be held accountable for encouraging someone to do something that led to sin - do you?
Desperate times dont call for desperate measures and they sure as dont call for haraam behaviour. Desperate times call for du'a - and Sabr ( patience) and Shukr ( gratitude) .
Hit the GPU event in London.
whats the GPU event ? tell me more :confused:
[QUOTE=Sabr&Shukr;2196926]du'a brother.
I know you want more practical advice than that but that really is the best advice.
Having said that Allah swt isnt gonna drop mrs right on your doorstep just like that. If you are hungry for food you go to the shops right? If you need an education you go to school.So where is the best place to meet people insha'allah? through the mosque.
jazakallahukairun for your advice bro. but i was hungry and go try to find food, ok maybe it wasnt as halal as it should have been.
at the mosque ? they exactly meant to be pick up joints ? how you suppose meet sisters there. at my local, its very strict segregation, most of them ninja'd up to the max! :(
Sabr&Shukr
17-10-07, 10:48 PM
Salaams ( Im a sister BTW)
At the mosque - Im not saying you go into the women's sections! no!
What I mean is that the more brothers you meet - the more chance of them introducing you to their sister/cousin/neighbour etc who is looking for a husband - you can hear of people this way insha'allah - through extending your presence in the community. The mosque is the meeting place for the muslim community - like school is where you get your education, the mosque is where you meet other muslims and become involved in the ummah insha'allah.
The more brothers you know the more chance you have of meeting a sister. Sounds funny I know but its true!
Aladdin
17-10-07, 10:54 PM
that;s really great
whats the GPU event ? tell me more :confused:
GPU is an islamic conference held every year in london,with speakers from all allover the world attending to talk on islamic topics, ignore his comment.
sis_niqabi
18-10-07, 08:06 AM
salam
it doesn't sound very halal to to me. i couldn't imagine talking to so many different men in one night. it's not very modest. would any of you brothers here allow your sisters or mother to do such things?
Treasured Soul
18-10-07, 10:09 AM
lol @ conveyer belt
Not my typa thing :smack:
Abu-Amr
18-10-07, 10:10 AM
Oh my days! :rubeyes:
Really is a small world!
Oh my days! :rubeyes:
Really is a small world!
You what ? Were you there too ?
Abu-Amr
18-10-07, 04:47 PM
No bro. I wasn't there.
Stylish-Girly
18-10-07, 09:31 PM
Weird
afrasayab
19-10-07, 02:19 AM
du'a brother.
I know you want more practical advice than that but that really is the best advice.
Having said that Allah swt isnt gonna drop mrs right on your doorstep just like that. If you are hungry for food you go to the shops right? If you need an education you go to school.So where is the best place to meet people insha'allah? through the mosque.
My best advice to you, apart from the du'a, would be to get yourself as involved in the community as possible, via the mosque preferably. You never know what brother you may meet you has a sister......etc etc...this is how Allah swt makes people's paths cross insha'alllah.
Remember pious women are for pious men - so keep yourself on the Deen no matter how hard you may find it and you will have your reward insha'allah.
Stay away from things like the speed dating though - its like fake bacon - something haraam disguised or re-worked as halal.
I know its tough....but its a test for you, Allah swt is preparing you for marriage by giving you patience insha'allah :D
That is a very good advice sis, one of the more sensible post on this thread.
I wouldn't be comfortable in that speed dating thing, how can you know someone in 5 min? I don't want someone to judge me based on 5 akward min of my life...
Went to one of these tonight. Felt like a cattle market, really artifical. You spent about 4 mins with each person. It felt like you were basing your whole decsion on looks.
I think deep down islamically it was wrong, maybe that why there was no fruitfullness in it.
Has anyone else been on one of these things ? Would people on here go ?
They had one of these things at an Islamic Conference I attended. I just dont think it is an Islamically sound practice.
~Imaan~
25-10-07, 11:46 AM
:salams
i dnt agree wiv d whole speed dating thing eitha...... i hav 2 say dis is the first time iv eva herd of a 'muslim' 1.... i think its jst 1 of the many practises of the disbelivers that us muslims shud nt adopt..... we shud try our best nt 2 fall into traps like this that tke us away frm our deen becoz we r very differnt frm the disbelievers n wt they consider as normal and o.k, we dnt neccesarily see things like that. i think it is very unislamic and nt modest, specially 4 the sistas.... n then therz the whle issu of hijab n presens of a mahram.....i personally cnt c any mahram letn his daughter, sister etc go 2 places like this let alone go with her. i think u shud tke sista SabrShukr's advice. jst b patient, put ur full trust in Allah n inshaAllah everithing will be fine. :up:
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