Marriage and Istikhara.....

[munyeka]

okay so we all know we sheould do istikhara when choosing a marriage partner.

But can somone shed a little light on how these dreams ought to be interpreted. What is said to be positive and what is regarded as negative indications.......anyone know?

[elji]

Dont have a clue to be honest.

[Neena77]

Erm,

I have heard about the dream signs, but not sure if I place too much importance on it...
My understanding is that Allah makes your path easier for you ( to achieve it if it is right for you), and harder for you (if the thing is bad for you).
That does not mean that it will be a sign via a dream,although some people say that...it could be just as simple as finding something out that could influence your decision, one way or the other.
I can't help you with the dream thing though....

If what I think is right is wrong...let me know!!!!

Humbly

Neena

[UniQue_BeDouin]

From my experiences its either a dream or a sign but most of the time i had dreams and i would base it if i felt the dream was a good dream or a bad dream example i did istikhara about a guy but in my dream he was violent and obsessive and when i woke up i had a bad feeling about him. another example is i had several dreams about another guy they were postive like his mum ringing nd telling me congradulations you and my son will be wed very soon. or me and him getting ready to do are nikah and i would wake up with a positive feeling. i dont think allah makes it hard for you that u have to sit and ponder over it day and night it usually comes easy. you'll know if it's positve or not :up:

[Treasured Soul]

^^ I agree ... i think it only becomes hard when you yourself want one thing but the Istihkaara is the opposite.

I've experienced it myself ... but to be honest, Allah does it make it easier if its sincere guidance your after.

I've performed Istihkaara three times in a span on year and half and I think Iv finally come to a decision.

But still, I wil just let events guide me to the right destination.

[`asiya]

okay so we all know we sheould do istikhara when choosing a marriage partner.

But can somone shed a little light on how these dreams ought to be interpreted. What is said to be positive and what is regarded as negative indications.......anyone know?

istikara is a prayer to ask u to help u to accept the decree of Allah for u, there is nothing to say u should have a dream, or "a sign" the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam once told a man arrived at the masjid and just left his camel to wander around, the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam asked whoose is this camel the man said it was his, he asked him why didnt u tie it up so it wouldnt wander off, and the man said i trust in Allah, so the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam said to him, tie your camel and trust in Allah, so just tie ur camel in regards to obeying the advice of the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam in marrying for the deen only, this is the only criterion for a sucessful marriage as the prophet salAllahu allayhi wa salam said marry for the deen or u will be a looser. so make istikarah and ask Allah to guide u to goodness and trust in Him ta ala. :up:

[`asiya]

How to pray Istikhaarah


The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said:

“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan. He said: ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say: Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name) khayran li fi ‘aajil amri wa aajilihi (or: fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri) faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta’lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri (or: fi ‘aajili amri wa aajilihi) fasrifni ‘anhu [wasrafhu ‘anni] waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi

(O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad).

Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:

“Istikhaarah is a word which means asking Allaah to help one make a choice, meaning choosing the best of two things where one needs to choose one of them.

Concerning the phrase ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach us to make istikhaarah in all things,’ Ibn Abi Jamrah said: ‘It is a general phrase which refers to something specific. With regard to matters that are waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (liked or encouraged), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to do them, and with regard to matters that are haraam (forbidden) or makrooh (disliked), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to avoid them. The issue of istikhaarah is confined to matters that are mubaah (allowed), or in mustahabb matters when there is a decision to be made as to which one should be given priority.’ I say: it refers to both great and small matters, and probably an insignificant issue could form the groundwork for a big issue.

The phrase ‘If any one of you is concerned…’ appears in the version narrated by Ibn Mas’ood as: ‘if any one of you wants to do something…’

‘Let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer.’ This is mentioned to make it clear that it does not mean fajr prayer, for example. Al-Nawawi said in al-Adhkaar: He can pray istikaarah after two rak’ahs of regular sunnah prayer done at zuhr for example, or after two rak’ahs of any naafil prayers whether they are regularly performed or not… It seems to be the case that if he made the intention to pray istikhaarah at the same time as intending to pray that particular prayer, this is fine, but not if he did not have this intention.

Ibn Abi Jamrah said: The wisdom behind putting the salaat before the du’aa’ is that istikhaarah is intended to combine the goodness of this world with the goodness of the next. A person needs to knock at the door of the King (Allaah), and there is nothing more effective for this than prayer, because it contains glorification and praise of Allaah, and expresses one's need for Him at all times.

The phrase ‘then let him say’ would seem to imply that the du’aa’ should be said after finishing the prayer, and the word thumma (then) probably means after reciting all the words of the salaat and before saying salaam.

The phrase ‘O Allaah, I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge’ is explaining ‘because You know best.’ Similarly, ‘by virtue of Your power’ most likely means ‘seeking Your help.’ ‘I seek ability’ (astaqdiruka) means ‘I ask You to give me the power or ability (qudrah) to do’ whatever is being asked for, or it probably means ‘I ask You to decree (tuqaddir) this for me.’ So it may mean making it easy.

‘I ask You of Your great bounty’ refers to the fact that Allaah gives out of His great generosity, but no one has the right to His blessings. This is the opinion of Ahl al-Sunnah.

‘You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not’ refers to the fact that power and knowledge belong to Allaah alone, and the slave has no share of them except what Allaah decrees for him.

‘O Allaah, if in Your knowledge this matter…’ According to one report, he should mention it by name. It is apparent from the context that he should state it, but it is probably sufficient to be thinking of the matter whilst making this du’aa’.

‘Then ordain it for me’ means ‘make it happen for me’ or it may mean ‘make it easy for me.’

‘Then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it’ means ‘so that my heart will no longer feel attached to it after it has been turned away.’

‘Make me pleased with it’ means ‘make me content with it, so that I will never regret asking for it or be sorry that it happened, because I do not know how it will turn out, even if at the time of asking I am pleased with it.’

The secret is that one’s heart should not be attached to the matter in question, because that will result in a person becoming restless. Being pleased with something means that one’s heart is content with the decree of Allaah.

(Summarized from the commentary of al-Haafiz Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) on the hadeeth in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Da’waat and Kitaab al-Tawheed.).



Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

[Abu-Amr]

okay so we all know we sheould do istikhara when choosing a marriage partner.

But can somone shed a little light on how these dreams ought to be interpreted. What is said to be positive and what is regarded as negative indications.......anyone know?

http://www.simplyislam.com/iteminfo.asp?item=1681

The Three Abandoned Prayers - an excellent book. I really recommend it. Tells you in detail how to it and explains how it works. Its authentic aswell.

[munyeka]

Well the problem is ive done the istikhara, the outcome is as i wanted. Although it was a positive inclination, the things that are happening all seem to be negative and it seems to be getting harder and harder. hence my confusion!

[Abu-Amr]

I think your inclination is your desire/wish. All the negative things is the outcome of your istkikhara. That’s my understanding only, so you don’t have to take it on board.

Allah knows best.

[munyeka]

but the istikhara dream i had was a positive one. incredibly vivid.
its the other person whose making it difficult, otherwise its easy. a man behaving like a man............so very confused!

[Neena77]

but the istikhara dream i had was a positive one. incredibly vivid.
its the other person whose making it difficult, otherwise its easy. a man behaving like a man............so very confused!

Sounds like that is the outcome of your Istikhara then.. we may all want something,think about and then dream about it,even positively..but the fact that the other person is making this difficult seems to be your real answer.
Do the istikhara again and be more open to what happens afterwards, inlcuding the interactions you have with this person...

Inshallah things will be clear to you.

[sada]

assalam...the first one is 'istishara' and then you must make 'istikhare'...cos istishara's 'wajeb'...maassalam...

[niqaabi_muslima]

Well the problem is ive done the istikhara, the outcome is as i wanted. Although it was a positive inclination, the things that are happening all seem to be negative and it seems to be getting harder and harder. hence my confusion!

Sis istikhara is not only based on dreams.. Its when you make a decision to go about somthing and make sincere dua Allah guides you to what is right for your life ,hereafter etc...hence istikhara dua..

Now lets say you make dua to continue with this brother..things might not come your way easily...and you seem to be feeling this negative feeling...Then maybe Allah doesnt wish for this to happen for you.. Your heart can play tricks and make u feel inclined but go with your brain.. Leave this matter and make dua to Allah that if it is meant to be let it happen with ease insha'Allah..and if not be grateful and place your trust in Allah and he will only deliever the best to you insha'Allah..

[ADZ w3]

okay so we all know we sheould do istikhara when choosing a marriage partner.

But can somone shed a little light on how these dreams ought to be interpreted. What is said to be positive and what is regarded as negative indications.......anyone know?

its not all about dreams , its more about praying the pray and going ahead with it or not and what ever happens from there on, problems or if it becomes easy then thats the istikhara taking action...

[Stylish-Girly]

You dont necessarily have to see a sign in your dream, sometimes its what your hearts set on, in marriage matters and i mean mainly those in which the boy and girl have been dating beforehand, its advisable they get someone else to do it on their behalf as their hearts are obviously gonna be set on a yessssss

[munyeka]

uhhhh just to set the records striaght....we have NOT been dating.

Believing men and women are prohibited from doing such things, and may Allah protect us all.

Umm well, i've done all that i can, the rest is with Allah. I have come to realise sometimes what we want is not always what is best for us.....anyway Allah has been good to me, and I know he will look after in this aspect of my life too....so we'll wait and see and hope for for the best......i'll keep you posted!

[Neena77]

assalam...the first one is 'istishara' and then you must make 'istikhare'...cos istishara's 'wajeb'...maassalam...

Thank you for sharing..I did not know that:-)

[Stylish-Girly]

uhhhh just to set the records striaght....we have NOT been dating

No i didnt mean you have, just giving some general info for that kind of scenario, sorry if i offended you

Believing men and women are prohibited from doing such things, and may Allah protect us all.

Ameen stay pure and proud

Good luck

[Amatullaah]

:start:

:salams

Just to make a correction here, it's Istikhara that comes first, then Istishara, because the outcomes of your istikhara should be relflected in your istishara. Afterwards, you can to istikhara again to be sure.

Insha'Allaah I hope this information is of some use.

[sada]

assalam...
İstisharah’s mentioned in Qor’an like that:
Ash Shura 38. Those who respond to their Lord, and establish regular prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual Consultation; who spend out of what We bestow on them for Sustenance;
Al i İmran 159. It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).
So it’s wajeb and Rasolullah saw had exhorted istisharah,when He had heard that Abo Sofyan had come in Badr,He made istisharah with Ansar in Badr about how it had been taken preventive measures.also He made it for lots of considerations like them:about captives of Badr,in gazwahs of Uhud and Handaq,in Hodaybeyah and Taef,during event of İfq and about Azan.Even Abo Hurayrah ra had clarified that he hadn’t never seen anyone who had made istisharah with Ashab ra like Rasolullah saw.Ashab ra formed a committee of moshawarah.too.
(Nevevî, Şerhu'l, Müslim, Kahire 1347-49/1929-30, IV, 76).
Wacib diyenler(Cessâs, Ahkâmü'l-Kur'an, Beyrut, ts., V, 263; M. Tâhir b. Aşûr, a.g.e, IV, 148).; (Ibn Sa'd, et-Tabakât (nşr. Ihsan Abbas), Beyrut 1388/1968, II, 350-352; Beyhakî, es-Sünenü'l-Kübrâ, Haydarâbâd 1355, X, 114- 115; Müttakî el-Hindi. Kenzu'l-Ummâl, Beyrut 1405/1985, V, 627; Said Ramazan el-Bût;, "eş-Şûra sî Cahdi'l-Hulefai'r-Raşidin (eş-Şûrâ fi'l-Islâm içinde), l, 113-167).
Rasolullah saw said that who makes istikharah,he’s not harmed and who makes istisharah,he doesn’t regret. (65 el-Hîndî VN/813 (H. 21532)
so,by being istishrah's wajeb and istikharah's sunnah,two of them should be applied in lots of conditions like marriage...when you decide to estimate someone for marriage,you must ask someones who have at least 'fıqh' and are good at İslam,also asking to family...but when you make these istisharahs,you're allowed to make istikharah,too...cos it's also a dua asking to decide for khayr about you.it helps your istisharah...maassalam...

[alia_kh4n]

Salaams, I am new to this forum and am struggling to find how to post a thread!lol so im just going to add what i wanted to say here as its related. Basically I done istikhara for marriage the other day and I have known for a long time that someone wants my hand in marriage, and now I have recently found out someone else is also interested. I done Istikhara and saw the second person in my dream, the person who I just recently found out wants to marry me. I just wanted advice on this issue. Do you think that is a clear sign that I should marry the person I saw in my dream or do you think it could be a coincidence as since then I am having many dreams about that person? Also do you have details for a scholar who knows how to interpret this as I don't to make a decision unless I have spoken to someone who is experienced in this area.
Thankyou, hope someone can help me!!

[abood]

Salaams, I am new to this forum and am struggling to find how to post a thread!lol so im just going to add what i wanted to say here as its related. Basically I done istikhara for marriage the other day and I have known for a long time that someone wants my hand in marriage, and now I have recently found out someone else is also interested. I done Istikhara and saw the second person in my dream, the person who I just recently found out wants to marry me. I just wanted advice on this issue. Do you think that is a clear sign that I should marry the person I saw in my dream or do you think it could be a coincidence as since then I am having many dreams about that person? Also do you have details for a scholar who knows how to interpret this as I don't to make a decision unless I have spoken to someone who is experienced in this area.
Thankyou, hope someone can help me!!
ASSALAM ALAIKUM,
sister 1st of all i want to congurate u.ALF SALAT WASSALAM ALAIK YA HABIB ALLAH MUHAMMED..:inlove:.......subhanALLAH....
here my advice ask imam.........
WASSALAM.

[alia_kh4n]

how do i do that?

[nami]

deleted

[summer786]

well dont be going thinking you'll get a dream about it....that's really rare.

another thing is you're not supposed to 'expect' a clear sign.....coz if you think about it the more you look out for a sign, even little things will seem significant when they're not.

then you just go about your business as usual, (i think i've heard you shouldn't do it too many times...not more than 3 times?) and if it works out then that is your answer.

hope all goes wll insha'Allah :)

[GuCcI]

well dont be going thinking you'll get a dream about it....that's really rare.

another thing is you're not supposed to 'expect' a clear sign.....coz if you think about it the more you look out for a sign, even little things will seem significant when they're not.

then you just go about your business as usual, (i think i've heard you shouldn't do it too many times...not more than 3 times?) and if it works out then that is your answer.

hope all goes wll insha'Allah :)

wat?! :rubeyes:

wat if u already know the person.. and everything but still arent sure wat to do.. to go ahead with it or not? even after istikhara there was no clear answer, guide, dream or sign. do u keep doing it? wat if ur heart and mind really are NEUTRAL? it is even possible to have 'neutral' feelings about something?

[summer786]

wat?! :rubeyes:

wat if u already know the person.. and everything but still arent sure wat to do.. to go ahead with it or not? even after istikhara there was no clear answer, guide, dream or sign. do u keep doing it? wat if ur heart and mind really are NEUTRAL? it is even possible to have 'neutral' feelings about something?

i dont knorr :rubeyes: