Dear Brothers Don't Be 50% Man Of The House!!

[curious_man]

Salamz brothers of Islam -

I am a 50% man of the house and my advice to single brothers is simple -

DEAR BROTHERS DON'T BE 50% MAN OF THE HOUSE!!

The moment you ask your spouses to contribute towards household finances --- your respect goes downhill.... that effectively makes them 50% man of the house...

which means where before you would just get on with things at home now you gotta get it cleared from other half on pretty much everything ---

so annoying --- there I have ad my whinge of the day.. quite theraputic lol

go on tell me am a wuss all of u lot... lol

[Arrakis]

go on tell me am a wuss all of u lot... lol


You're a wuss.:D

You are wrong though, if anything going 50 50 on all things including decisions would gain my respect as it shows that respect is being given by the husband in seeking to share.

[curious_man]

Argghhh it annoying at times though - sometimes u just want to get on with it rather then frign discussing it around the round table all the time...

frustratedddd by MRSSSS...

[MG]

Argghhh it annoying at times though - sometimes u just want to get on with it rather then frign discussing it around the round table all the time...

frustratedddd by MRSSSS...

once your married, even though the husband makes most (if not all) the decisions, he is still supposed confer with the wife before making most of these decisions, wether she pays 50% or of her income or not! :smack:

[Kal-El]

I know a few married couples of all ages. And the perception that the men rule the house or do most of the decision making is out-dated, trust me. If anything, their wives are the ones who wear the trousers in the family, so to speak.

[curious_man]

once your married, even though the husband makes most (if not all) the decisions, he is still supposed confer with the wife before making most of these decisions, wether she pays 50% or of her income or not! :smack:
most ?

sis ur species dont allow us to make any - i even need wee wee permission in my house :-(

I used to be like a BULL and now I'm a mouse :-(

am a wusssssssssssss!!!! (sobs heavily)

[curious_man]

I know a few married couples of all ages. And the perception that the men rule the house or do most of the decision making is out-dated, trust me. If anything, their wives are the ones who wear the trousers in the family, so to speak.
i only wear shorts...

[funk999]

Visit Chechnya with your wife.. hope that helps!

[curious_man]

Visit Chechnya with your wife.. hope that helps!
yeh go to chechnya and leave my mrs near land mine -BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM- lol ok bad joke..

but y chechnya?

[MG]

I know a few married couples of all ages. And the perception that the men rule the house or do most of the decision making is out-dated, trust me. If anything, their wives are the ones who wear the trousers in the family, so to speak.

most ?

sis ur species dont allow us to make any - i even need wee wee permission in my house :-(

I used to be like a BULL and now I'm a mouse :-(

am a wusssssssssssss!!!! (sobs heavily)

from the islamic point of view, the husband takes most of the decisions but he should confer with the wife before doing so.,... yes alot of men and women unfortualtely forget this and become wuss's :D and the women become the "men" of the house:rolleyes:

its kinda embarrassing to watch actually

[Kal-El]

from the islamic point of view, the husband takes most of the decisions but he should confer with the wife before doing so.,... yes alot of men and women unfortualtely forget this and become wuss's :D and the women become the "men" of the house:rolleyes:

its kinda embarrassing to watch actually

I dont' have an ego problem so I wouldn't my mind my wife making decisions for herself or for us as long as I agree with them. I find it embarrassing those who believe that they should always be the ones to make decisions. Naturally, I have a certain responsibility and thats for my family but that doesn't mean my wife is stupid or incapable of making the best choices for us.

I intend to have a pretty equal marriage, but if shes having a moment where she is making a harsh choice then I step in. I'd expect the same if I was making a bad choice. And I dont find that mentality embarrassing at all :)

[Islamic Sister]

that effectively makes them 50% man of the house...


Is marriage not about companionship? Or am I missing the point?

[MG]

I dont' have an ego problem so I wouldn't my mind my wife making decisions for herself or for us as long as I agree with them. I find it embarrassing those who believe that they should always be the ones to make decisions. Naturally, I have a certain responsibility and thats for my family but that doesn't mean my wife is stupid or incapable of making the best choices for us.

I intend to have a pretty equal marriage, but if shes having a moment where she is making a harsh choice then I step in. I'd expect the same if I was making a bad choice. And I dont find that mentality embarrassing at all :)

wen u confer with the wife, thats both of u making the decision isnt it? :rubeyes:

and jus becos the husband is one who should be listened too or takes the decisions, does not mean the wife is incapable or stupid, its those who feel they dont need to confer with the wife for any decisions that have an ego problem imo :rolleyes::smack:

[Kal-El]

wen u confer with the wife, thats both of u making the decision isnt it? :rubeyes:

and jus becos the husband is one who should be listened too or takes the decisions, does not mean the wife is incapable or stupid, its those who feel they dont need to confer with the wife for any decisions that have an ego problem imo :rolleyes::smack:

That may be true but people for some reason associate decision making only with the husband/man. I don't think that mentality is right and I don't think its representative of relationships as the treatment and perception towards women has greatly improved over the century. Especially our generation. Alot of the bro's here are actually gentle men in private lol, they just act hard and emotionless on the public forums - they'll treat their wives like queens. ;)

Marriage is about love, sincere love for one another. Not the responsibilties or roles of the gender.

[elji]

Salamz brothers of Islam -

I am a 50% man of the house and my advice to single brothers is simple -

DEAR BROTHERS DON'T BE 50% MAN OF THE HOUSE!!

The moment you ask your spouses to contribute towards household finances --- your respect goes downhill.... that effectively makes them 50% man of the house...

which means where before you would just get on with things at home now you gotta get it cleared from other half on pretty much everything ---

so annoying --- there I have ad my whinge of the day.. quite theraputic lol

go on tell me am a wuss all of u lot... loli will get a lot of flack for this. But in todays context you are right

IF you wanna be 100% you should pay your wife weekly for the cooking and cleaning

[MG]

That may be true but people for some reason associate decision making only with the husband/man. I don't think that mentality is right and I don't think its representative of relationships as the treatment and perception towards women has greatly improved over the century. Especially our generation. Alot of the bro's here are actually gentle men in private lol, they just act hard and emotionless on the public forums - they'll treat their wives like queens. ;)

Marriage is about love, sincere love for one another. Not the responsibilties or roles of the gender.


bro the husband is the ameer of the house for a reason, it has been advised that the husband must confer with the wife when making any family decisions, personally as long as my future husband took my opinons and views into account when making decisons, it wouldnt bother me, or make me feel stupid, inadequate or unequal that he stand at the forefront and state the decison he has made. As long as im being listened to as another human being its all good.

I think u might be getting confused in thinking that the wen the husband takes decisions the wife is ignored ,this is not the case in what im stating from an islamic point of view inshallah.

P.S. i dont believe the above highlighted statement u made :rubeyes::rolleyes: how much did they pay u to write that

[elji]

bro the husband is the ameer of the house for a reason, it has been advised that the husband must confer with the wife when making any family decisions, personally as long as my future husband took my opinons and views into account when making decisons, it wouldnt bother me, or make me feel stupid, inadequate or unequal that he stand at the forefront and state the decison he has made. As long as im being listened to as another human being its all good.

I think u might be getting confused in thinking that the wen the husband takes decisions the wife is ignored ,this is not the case in what im stating from an islamic point of view inshallah.

P.S. i dont believe the above highlighted statement u made :rubeyes::rolleyes: how much did they pay u to write that

just simply well said.

[curious_man]

i will get a lot of flack for this. But in todays context you are right

IF you wanna be 100% you should pay your wife weekly for the cooking and cleaning
thank you - the GREAT ELJI agrees with me - OMG>OMG- lol

[imran1976]

bro the husband is the ameer of the house for a reason, it has been advised that the husband must confer with the wife when making any family decisions, personally as long as my future husband took my opinons and views into account when making decisons, it wouldnt bother me, or make me feel stupid, inadequate or unequal that he stand at the forefront and state the decison he has made. As long as im being listened to as another human being its all good.

I think u might be getting confused in thinking that the wen the husband takes decisions the wife is ignored ,this is not the case in what im stating from an islamic point of view inshallah.

P.S. i dont believe the above highlighted statement u made :rubeyes::rolleyes: how much did they pay u to write that

lol~ i believe the statement to be true :D

[elji]

I know a few married couples of all ages. And the perception that the men rule the house or do most of the decision making is out-dated, trust me. If anything, their wives are the ones who wear the trousers in the family, so to speak.

yes it is outdated, from what you've seen

But i know a few too where the men do wear the trousers in the house. So thats an opinionated comment.

[MG]

lol~ i believe the statement to be true :D

what a shock , u would say that :rolleyes:

[Lord Summerisle]

Salamz brothers of Islam -

I am a 50% man of the house and my advice to single brothers is simple -

DEAR BROTHERS DON'T BE 50% MAN OF THE HOUSE!!

The moment you ask your spouses to contribute towards household finances --- your respect goes downhill.... that effectively makes them 50% man of the house...

which means where before you would just get on with things at home now you gotta get it cleared from other half on pretty much everything ---

so annoying --- there I have ad my whinge of the day.. quite theraputic lol

go on tell me am a wuss all of u lot... lol

Are you actually living in 2007?

[imran1976]

what a shock , u would say that :rolleyes:

thats true. from what i have seen in real life. most of guyz pretending to be the Man are in reality run'mureed (under wife's thumb)...:p

[MG]

thats true. from what i have seen in real life. most of guyz pretending to be the Man are in reality run'mureed (under wife's thumb)...:p


aksar yahi hota hain, baahar shehr aur ghar ke andar murghi :rolleyes:


Translation: "that normally is the case, a tiger in public and a chicken at home"


:D

[imran1976]

aksar yahi hota hain, baahar shehr aur ghar ke andar murghi :rolleyes:


Translation: "that normally is the case, a tiger in public and a chicken at home"


:D

yup that's the point~ chicken at home :D

[shaquille20]

most ?

sis ur species dont allow us to make any - i even need wee wee permission in my house :-(

I used to be like a BULL and now I'm a mouse :-(

am a wusssssssssssss!!!! (sobs heavily)

Bro, u gotta be a man... just dont give into her... Dont give her ur weak points so she can play you... If she doesnt listen, dont think twice about leaving her (long enough so she learns her lessons)...

U gotta break the sentiments man... women take u by the %$#% , especially if you let your wife do it... be strong man.... U always have a second chance... show her whos boss

[$HugoBoss$]

My future wife is going to be making more money than me so i do expect the fiances to be 50/50.

[nomoreillusions]

A man's home is his castle.
There he is king.
He always has the final word: "Yes dear."


:evilb:

[Umm Al Shifaa]

personally as long as my future husband took my opinons and views into account when making decisons, it wouldnt bother me, or make me feel stupid, inadequate or unequal that he stand at the forefront and state the decison he has made. As long as im being listened to as another human being its all good.

The prophet said to 'lend your wife more of an ear then if you were spying on the enemy.'

[mansoor36]

Can't stop myself from contributing to this topic.

Prophet says: Laa yaflahu Qawmun tawallaw amrahum imratan" No people will succeed if they let a woman lead them. In Quran Allah says: Arrijaalu Qawwaamuna alal-nisaa" Yusufali translation 4:34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard." Pickthall translation gives better meaning as qawwamuna means in charge, PICKTHAL: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded.

Man should lead the house, should guide the members, should make the major decisions, and should be responsible.

At the same time, there is nothing bad in consulting his wife about a certain decision, The prophet did many times, one instance is in Ghazwatul Hudaybiya, where he ordered the sahabas to cancel their umra by performing animal sacrifice and they refused, he was very angry and he went to his wife Ummu Salamah explaining that people are near to getting Adhab as they refuse to obey their Rasul, Ummu Salamah gave a suggestion to him, saying, why don't you go and perform sacrifice infront of them ? I am sure they will then follow you, Prophet did and all the sahabah followed.

Man should be the responsible for his decisions, there is a nice Hadith starting with كلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته which puts a light on each person's responsbility, man's responsibility, and a wife's responsbility in the husband's house.

And Allah knows the most

[curious_man]

aksar yahi hota hain, baahar shehr aur ghar ke andar murghi :rolleyes:


Translation: "that normally is the case, a tiger in public and a chicken at home"


:D
phrases like 'under the thumb' by friends can ruin many marriages. how can anyone say that to anyone when they dont even know for sure.

Imran do you go to around looking inside people's houses listening to their conversations and figuring out who's under the thumb? you are not a peeping tom are you? lol

[curious_man]

Bro, u gotta be a man... just dont give into her... Dont give her ur weak points so she can play you... If she doesnt listen, dont think twice about leaving her (long enough so she learns her lessons)...

U gotta break the sentiments man... women take u by the %$#% , especially if you let your wife do it... be strong man.... U always have a second chance... show her whos boss
good to see so much compassion for a man down lol...

sobbing post was suppose to be an attemp at humour - dont get carried away.

even though 50% financial help is appreciated from my other half I make up for it by helping her at home with cooking and cleaning - since she got pregnet it seems am doing all the house work too :-)

but I dont mind so long as my mum dont see me doing it lol

Ideally I'd rather not take anything of her in terms of help in finance but that dont mean I wont help her at home.

[PiElle2]

good to see so much compassion for a man down lol...

sobbing post was suppose to be an attemp at humour - dont get carried away.

even though 50% financial help is appreciated from my other half I make up for it by helping her at home with cooking and cleaning - since she got pregnet it seems am doing all the house work too :-)

but I dont mind so long as my mum dont see me doing it lol

Ideally I'd rather not take anything of her in terms of help in finance but that dont mean I wont help her at home.



you mean you are only willing to help out with the housework because she contributes 50% finance...?

since when being seen doing housework is demeaning to a man...?

[imran1976]

phrases like 'under the thumb' by friends can ruin many marriages. how can anyone say that to anyone when they dont even know for sure.

Imran do you go to around looking inside people's houses listening to their conversations and figuring out who's under the thumb? you are not a peeping tom are you? lol

brother the phrase was never directed towards u.

we don't necessarily have to go around looking inside ppl's house to find out who's under the thumb........:D

[curious_man]

PIE read my post again I think u misunderstood my post there.

I'd help out at home regardless of if she helped me financially or not.

[curious_man]

brother the phrase was never directed towards u.

we don't necessarily have to go around looking inside ppl's house to find out who's under the thumb........:D
I didnt think it was directed at me bro - I was talking generally.

[imanalistic]

What if this happens...

Husband: Do you think we should get this thing?
Wife: Whatever you think is best.
Husband: I don't know what's best, that's why I am asking you.
Wife: I don't know either.
Husband: Ok, what would you prefer?
Wife: Whatever you think is best?
Husband: Aaaaaarrrrgggg.....

:banghead:

[curious_man]

What if this happens...

Husband: Do you think we should get this thing?
Wife: Whatever you think is best.
Husband: I don't know what's best, that's why I am asking you.
Wife: I don't know either.
Husband: Ok, what would you prefer?
Wife: Whatever you think is best?
Husband: Aaaaaarrrrgggg.....

:banghead:
Were you listening to my conversation with my Mrs yesterday?

Now I know who lives in the bleeding LOFT - I thought it was a mouse but its really you isnt it

[MG]

phrases like 'under the thumb' by friends can ruin many marriages. how can anyone say that to anyone when they dont even know for sure.

Imran do you go to around looking inside people's houses listening to their conversations and figuring out who's under the thumb? you are not a peeping tom are you? lol

bro the only times what friends say can ruin marriages is if the WIFE or the HUSBAND (whoevers friends they are) take their freinds jibes on board and then LET it affect marriages, outsiders will comment on your relationships but only YOU know what and how your relationship is, so if your confident in yourself , rise above it and ignore it cos u know u got it good at home.

brother the phrase was never directed towards u.

we don't necessarily have to go around looking inside ppl's house to find out who's under the thumb........:D



:rotfl:

[thurber]

Salamz brothers of Islam -

I am a 50% man of the house and my advice to single brothers is simple -

DEAR BROTHERS DON'T BE 50% MAN OF THE HOUSE!!

The moment you ask your spouses to contribute towards household finances --- your respect goes downhill.... that effectively makes them 50% man of the house...

which means where before you would just get on with things at home now you gotta get it cleared from other half on pretty much everything ---

so annoying --- there I have ad my whinge of the day.. quite theraputic lol

go on tell me am a wuss all of u lot... lol

There once was a man who was curious
His want for authority was furious
With a wife [and a child] :inlove:
He felt left out and riled
So his whining was actually spurious.

[curious_man]

There once was a man who was curious
His want for authority was furious
With a wife [and a child] :inlove:
He felt left out and riled
So his whining was actually spurious.
funny hahahahah

[curious_man]

bro the only times what friends say can ruin marriages is if the WIFE or the HUSBAND (whoevers friends they are) take their freinds jibes on board and then LET it affect marriages, outsiders will comment on your relationships but only YOU know what and how your relationship is, so if your confident in yourself , rise above it and ignore it cos u know u got it good at home.





:rotfl:
MG stop following me in all my threads - you are scaring me - lol

[MG]

MG stop following me in all my threads - you are scaring me - lol


not my fault you got 12 threads in each section of this forum, where am i supposed to go :(

[curious_man]

not my fault you got 12 threads in each section of this forum, where am i supposed to go :(
uff ya allah - she evens knows how many threads I have -- i jus hope ur not investigative...

[MG]

uff ya allah - she evens knows how many threads I have -- i jus hope ur not investigative...


i should charge for all that precious advice posts i did for u, all my blood and sweat went into those ....:rolleyes: ungrateful:rolleyes:

[Nine Elms]

If she disagrees with a descion you make just get her in a headlock and rub your knuckles on her head until she changes her mind :)

[curious_man]

BLOODY AND SWEAT urghhhh --- U NEED TO WASH UP QUICK..

oops am bleeding - must stop writing :P

[Supernova Nebula]

i should charge for all that precious advice posts i did for u, all my blood and sweat went into those ....:rolleyes: ungrateful:rolleyes:

:rotfl:

[MG]

:rotfl:


some people are so ungrateful :confused:

[Raziel]

You're a wuss.:D

You are wrong though, if anything going 50 50 on all things including decisions would gain my respect as it shows that respect is being given by the husband in seeking to share.

There is No Obligation on the Sisters to pay for the Financial affairs, that rests on the Husbands/Brothers ...

asking the Wife to pay for half the expenses is shameful, if she does it in a Halal way of her own accord thats up to her, but the brothers shouldn't be asking their Wives to pay up ...

They already do much of the Work at home, so asking them to pay up would mean overburdening them too ...

this type of 'Sharing' entails neglecting the Duties placed upon the Man by Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala ...

May Allah give my Brothers the Strength and determination to earn the Livelihood for and pay for the expenses of the Household in a way acceptable to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala ...

:jkk:

[afsalim]

Dont be a dictator either. Share the responsibilities of a household. :up:

[curious_man]

There is No Obligation on the Sisters to pay for the Financial affairs, that rests on the Husbands/Brothers ...

asking the Wife to pay for half the expenses is shameful, if she does it in a Halal way of her own accord thats up to her, but the brothers shouldn't be asking their Wives to pay up ...

I disagree with your comment SIS.. it is not easy living in UK and only one person working and providing. Especially since sisters these days want their own house pretty much straight away with nice driveway, garden, conservatory, 40" TV etc.. not to mention the big mrotgage that comes with it :-) I am more then happy to not ask my wife she is ok to live in a one bedroom falt on rent :p

They already do much of the Work at home, so asking them to pay up would mean overburdening them too ...

by the way I do most of the cooking, cleaning and washing at home too as well as working f/t - my mrs has it easy - at least twice a week she has a meal ready as she comes back from work :P
this type of 'Sharing' entails neglecting the Duties placed upon the Man by Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala ...

May Allah give my Brothers the Strength and determination to earn the Livelihood for and pay for the expenses of the Household in a way acceptable to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala ...

ameen to your dua .. also may Allah grant our sisters wisdom to never neglect their wifey duties such as 'massaging their hubbies every night lol' and entertaining them in every possible islamic way :P AMEEEEEEEEEN! To never complain and exercise sabr should the poor hubby wants to watch champions league football AMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN, To always be ready to fulfil all the jaiz commands of their poor hardworking hubby's ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen


:jkk:


ameen ameen

[miss-islamic]

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!:hidban:

The prophet (saw)'s first wife worked. Nothing to be ashamed about imho. Those who forbid their wives from working because of silly reasons are those who should be ashamed.

The prophet saw) also worked around the house but nowadays that are many Muslim brothers who call that sunnah “sissy”. Astagfirullah.

[curious_man]

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!:hidban:

The prophet (saw)'s first wife worked. Nothing to be ashamed about imho. Those who forbid their wives from working because of silly reasons are those who should be ashamed.

The prophet saw) also worked around the house but nowadays that are many Muslim brothers who call that sunnah “sissy”. Astagfirullah.

the brothers who do that suffer from 'ego' which is really bad - I think it is more to do with culture then our religion.

I must admit there are times I get a bit "ego'd" too -

Sisters need to be understanding at times and not :torture:a brother -

one of the best feeling is to cook a nice meal and have it ready for your mrs as she comes back from work (thats if you get home b4 ur mrs like me :-)) - the smile of appreciation makes all the effort worth a while .........

oh and some advice for bros -

when you think ur mrs is going to be upset for you being out late with ur mates. go to a 24 hour tesco, buy some flowere for £1.99 - and it always works.. and then next time buy chocolates ,, but dont make a habit of it lol..

[Believer1984]

lolz.