Help about merriage

[moni88]

salam:
This is my friend's problem and she desires to get some suggestions from you's

She is 38 years old still unmarried and work in an office. She is pretty and attractive. Her boss who is 67 years old and marriage two times before his first wife is deid. He has 4 childern from his first wife and all the childern married and live seprately.His second wife is live but unfortunately from her he has no child.She is a working women.
Now I come to the problem.
Her boss is propose her.She do not reply till.She is double minded due to age difference.

She has some question?

Is he satisfy during intercourse in the age of 67?

Is he able to make her pergnant in the age of 67?

Please give the answer these above question. She ask these questions because she virgin so she does not know about the men.

Please give suggestions she marry him or not. I hope you give some fruitful suggestions as early as possible
waslam

[bint]

woahh

man..if love is that strong then marry!

but i wudnt!

[zammy]

She should look at his deen first..

That's a staggering age difference...

I can't really answer your questions but i've heard of men who are 100 yrs old and giving rise to offspring at that age, men aren't like women in that aspect..

Tell the sister to pray istikhara

[niqaabi_muslima]

Perform salatul istikhara... Ask Allah for sincere guidance and he swt will guide you to the path that is best for your deen and hereafter insha'Allah...

[dunya_or_akhira]

Oh Allah, help Your servants and the mujahideen in Your way in all places; Oh Allah help your worshippers in Iraq, Aghanistan, Chechnya; and in Bosnia; and in Palestine; and in Lebanon; and in all other places

Oh Allah, make firm their feet; Oh Allah guide their aim; oh Allah, join them on the word of clear truth

[algharib]

Oh Allah, help Your servants and the mujahideen in Your way in all places; Oh Allah help your worshippers in Iraq, Aghanistan, Chechnya; and in Bosnia; and in Palestine; and in Lebanon; and in all other places

Oh Allah, make firm their feet; Oh Allah guide their aim; oh Allah, join them on the word of clear truth

Allahumma amin:up:

[brjimc]

She has some question?

Is he satisfy during intercourse in the age of 67?

Is he able to make her pergnant in the age of 67?

Please give the answer these above question. She ask these questions because she virgin so she does not know about the men.

Please give suggestions she marry him or not. I hope you give some fruitful suggestions as early as possible
waslam

Men are capable of getting a woman pregnant most of their lives. So the age is not an issue there.

frankly, at 38, I wouldnt suggest marrying someone that old.. but its entirely up to her preference.

[`asiya]

salam:
This is my friend's problem and she desires to get some suggestions from you's

She is 38 years old still unmarried and work in an office. She is pretty and attractive. Her boss who is 67 years old and marriage two times before his first wife is deid. He has 4 childern from his first wife and all the childern married and live seprately.His second wife is live but unfortunately from her he has no child.She is a working women.
Now I come to the problem.
Her boss is propose her.She do not reply till.She is double minded due to age difference.

She has some question?

Is he satisfy during intercourse in the age of 67?

Is he able to make her pergnant in the age of 67?

Please give the answer these above question. She ask these questions because she virgin so she does not know about the men.

Please give suggestions she marry him or not. I hope you give some fruitful suggestions as early as possible
waslam


:wswrwb: my step sister is married to a man of the same age ( shes not a muslim ) she is in her twenties, they have their second child on the way insha Allah ta ala, and they are happily married for some years now alhamdulillah. In Islam the mans deen is what is important and as long as he is in relatively good health then his age shouldnt effect his abilty to have children and so on insha Allah ta ala. :salams

[Kal-El]

salam:
This is my friend's problem and she desires to get some suggestions from you's

She is 38 years old still unmarried and work in an office. She is pretty and attractive. Her boss who is 67 years old and marriage two times before his first wife is deid. He has 4 childern from his first wife and all the childern married and live seprately.His second wife is live but unfortunately from her he has no child.She is a working women.
Now I come to the problem.
Her boss is propose her.She do not reply till.She is double minded due to age difference.

She has some question?

Is he satisfy during intercourse in the age of 67?

Is he able to make her pergnant in the age of 67?

Please give the answer these above question. She ask these questions because she virgin so she does not know about the men.

Please give suggestions she marry him or not. I hope you give some fruitful suggestions as early as possible
waslam

There is more to considering proposals from people than by simply judging whether or not they are fertile and whatnot. I think a sister would be best suited to answer your questions privately because its not appropiate discussing the dynamics of sex publicly

[neelu]

Yes a man of that age is capable of making a woman pregnant. As for satisfaction from sex- that is a very individual thing that none of us can really know. My guess is, he'd be very unlikely to propose to her if he had problems with performing sexually but that's just my hunch. I'm concerned that this is all you're asking- there's SO much more to a marriage than questions like this such as:

- Does she really like him or is she only considering this because she's scared of being left alone as a spinster (contrary to popular desi opinion, that is NOT a good reason for getting married in itself)?

- Would she be expected to live with the second wife and how does the second wife feel about all this?

- Would the grown up children have any influence on this marriage in terms of: would they encourage it or give their dad a guilt trip to make him change his mind and even if they don't live with him, they're still a part of his life so would they be able to make her life difficult if she goes ahead and marries him?

- How does her own family feel about this guy?

- What role does he foresee her having in the home and what kind of role does she want to have in the family; sometimes people can view their idea of marriage in very different ways and it's better to find out about that before making a commitment than when it's too late

It's not my place to say whether these two people are suited to each other or not cos' I don't know either of them but they have a lot to consider and need to ask themselves and each other some serious questions before deciding one way or the other.

[.: Anna :.]

But what can any sister say to advice her, the man is an individual so his situation can be different of another guy the same age.

It is a bit of a weird question... normally when you look to marry a person you don't think to ask around about this topic to see if people think he is gonna be 'good' in this sense :rubeyes: but just focus on the things which u are able to see and assess like how is his deen, how is his character...and also isn't it slightly demeaning to the guy to put the focus on this :S

Like people have said pray istikhaara insha Allah but also keep the priorities in order

[jammal12]

salam sis,

well here's my advice,i think she should marry some of the same age range because she would have more things in common and you needed worry if the
person can perform.and if did decided to marry him think about your children,they have a right over you,you know.they would probably want a daddy that they could play with...if get my drift.

take sis, i hope everything goes well for you what ever decision you make.

[angel*]

Mmm hez 67 and shez in her 30'z i think th thing that she shuld be worrying about is not if she can get preggers but that if she does, what then? At his age...:S may Allah swt give every1 long healthy lives but say in another 10 or so years he isnt here or if he has i doubt hez going to be able 2 work and provide properly 4 the 3 of them, is it really wise? :o

[Kubs]

Wow! :rubeyes:

[jammal12]

salam sis,

well here's my advice,i think she should marry some of the same age range because she would have more things in common and you needn't worry if the person can perform.and if did decided to marry him think about your children,they have a right over you,you know.they would probably want a daddy that they could play with...if get my drift.

take sis, i hope everything goes well for you what ever decision you make.

[brjimc]

:rotfl: i think i best not contribute to this thread,

Wow, at the age of 67? I know of afew who're going strong at the age of 70+, so erm yeah.. its hard to say.


er uh.. [edited by me] its best I stop here. :rolleyes:

[aisha2007]

She should look at his deen first..

That's a staggering age difference...

I can't really answer your questions but i've heard of men who are 100 yrs old and giving rise to offspring at that age, men aren't like women in that aspect..

Tell the sister to pray istikhara

I agree.
And if she is so concened about the age difference then she should politley decline the offer.
As for intimacy then that's not something any of us are able to advise on... it's an individual thing.

[PiElle2]

She should seriously think that he has only 10-15, max. 20 years to go so what big plans has he for her...? And is she willing to have that instead of finding someone around her age and they could live for another 30-40 years.

I know someone 62 man married to 38 women, he has grown up kids, just became grandfather himself, she has 2 young daugthers herself... i think them being together is fine, but he has like 10-20 years left to go... and who's going to look after them after he leaves...?

know what i mean...?

[Aamaal]

This is a bit off topic but talking about age gaps, there was a couple (it was in the news a few days ago), with the man aged 24 and the women aged 82 in Argentina who got married. So, in my opinion, it depends on whether that person can fulfil their role as a companion/friend and I think the intimate part of it shouldn't really be the most important part. Marraige is more than just fulfilling your sexual desires.

However, having said that, the way the question is asked suggests to me that your friend doesn't have anything in common with the man. If this is the case then I seriously advice her not to marry a man she is going to share the rest of her life with if all she wants from him is sexual satisfaction.

[nasib]

Istikharak is the best way to know the answer :)

[ibn_abdul]

salam alakum,
im in a bad position, i really like this girl from college ( due to islamic reasons only, ) and want to marry her, and i know she wants to marry me too as her friends hav told me, but the thing is that this other girl already asked me to marry her and i said yes if only she becomes a gd pious muslim, and at this moment shes gonig through phase where shes not even sure if the quran is the word of allah, but anywho, most of the sisters in college think that im "saved"/ "taken" by this girl and so does that girl i like!
what can i do or say to tell her that i really want to marry her rather then this other non-practising sister?
please help
salam

[Supernova Nebula]

salam alakum,
im in a bad position, i really like this girl from college ( due to islamic reasons only, ) and want to marry her, and i know she wants to marry me too as her friends hav told me, but the thing is that this other girl already asked me to marry her and i said yes if only she becomes a gd pious muslim, and at this moment shes gonig through phase where shes not even sure if the quran is the word of allah, but anywho, most of the sisters in college think that im "saved"/ "taken" by this girl and so does that girl i like!
what can i do or say to tell her that i really want to marry her rather then this other non-practising sister?
please help
salam

bro, that's beyond not practicing issue, its bigger and most dangerous, AQIDAH issue:S

[PiElle2]

salam alakum,
im in a bad position, i really like this girl from college ( due to islamic reasons only, ) and want to marry her, and i know she wants to marry me too as her friends hav told me, but the thing is that this other girl already asked me to marry her and i said yes if only she becomes a gd pious muslim, and at this moment shes gonig through phase where shes not even sure if the quran is the word of allah, but anywho, most of the sisters in college think that im "saved"/ "taken" by this girl and so does that girl i like!
what can i do or say to tell her that i really want to marry her rather then this other non-practising sister?
please help
salam

i dun see any real problem, bro... you should be going for what you want and what is right.

if you still feel stuck, pray istikhara and wait with patience... we muslims must do things for the sake of Allah and your future wife should understand that.

just tell all the girls they can think what they like but you have not made any final decision yet and may the most pious muslimah be your future wife.. Inshallah...

:)

[ibn_abdul]

im not confused about who to marry, i know who , but its just how can i go up to her and say that i want to marry her, while she thinks that im already "saved" for someone else?

[PiElle2]

im not confused about who to marry, i know who , but its just how can i go up to her and say that i want to marry her, while she thinks that im already "saved" for someone else?

arrange for a wali to go approach her with your proposal... :)

[ibn_abdul]

wouldnt that be bit out of the blue as the sister thinks im gonig to get married to some next girl?

how can I (me) go and speak to her about this topic?
jazakualla khair

[Supernova Nebula]

wouldnt that be bit out of the blue as the sister thinks im gonig to get married to some next girl?

how can I (me) go and speak to her about this topic?
jazakualla khair

why complicate matter? just talk to her in non-fitnah environment, email her etc? Islam is not that difficult, is it?

[Kal-El]

wouldnt that be bit out of the blue as the sister thinks im gonig to get married to some next girl?

how can I (me) go and speak to her about this topic?
jazakualla khair

The chance of her saying no or reacting negatively is always there when you ask a woman to marry you. Just have to be a man bro

[ibn_abdul]

haha lol jazakullah khair, i will inshallah after ramadan,

another thing, she was telling me how she needes help with her iman and sutff and cant really talk to sisters as they rumble on to different topic, its halal for me to talk ot her about islam right?
just trying to talk about islam,
as i was listening to imam anwer al-waki (sp?) lecture on the life of the prophet (pbuh) and he said that the sisters used to interact with the brother but they knew their limits , just giving and taking advice , nothing else..

is there anything contrdicting to that where we brothers are not even allowed to help a sister in deen?
salam

[niqaabi_muslima]

Peopleeeeeeeeee! My muslim aid team are on islam channel live shots from our offices please donate.. insha'Allah tonight could be laylatul Qadr and the reward subhanAlllahhhhhhh!

[mujahids-turn]

Salaam Sis...Thats heavy! Are at the offices too?

[zammy]

haha lol jazakullah khair, i will inshallah after ramadan,

another thing, she was telling me how she needes help with her iman and sutff and cant really talk to sisters as they rumble on to different topic, its halal for me to talk ot her about islam right?
just trying to talk about islam,
as i was listening to imam anwer al-waki (sp?) lecture on the life of the prophet (pbuh) and he said that the sisters used to interact with the brother but they knew their limits , just giving and taking advice , nothing else..

is there anything contrdicting to that where we brothers are not even allowed to help a sister in deen?
salam

lol yea i remember that lecture by anwar awlaki..the seerah one right?
but really ..whats the point of you (a brother who she is probably gonna be attracted to) helping her with her 'deen'...when another sister can help her out?? Yu kno what I mean? Just marry her already :rolleyes: but uhmm..i suggest you let go of the other girl before u approach this one cuz she won't take ur proposal seriously if she thinks your still with that other girl?

[PiElle2]

haha lol jazakullah khair, i will inshallah after ramadan,

another thing, she was telling me how she needes help with her iman and sutff and cant really talk to sisters as they rumble on to different topic, its halal for me to talk ot her about islam right?
just trying to talk about islam,
as i was listening to imam anwer al-waki (sp?) lecture on the life of the prophet (pbuh) and he said that the sisters used to interact with the brother but they knew their limits , just giving and taking advice , nothing else..

is there anything contrdicting to that where we brothers are not even allowed to help a sister in deen?
salam

you need know your role and duty. it's not your duty to teach her cos she's not your wife. dun even think of starting it cos you may not know what it leads to... just say it's best she goes to a proper teacher or regular class...

she should, as in every muslim should... go for proper class and education. what is this personal you teach me nonsense... are you qualified to teach her in the first place? please... the first thing you should teach her is ayah and dun use the excuse about the sisters and she turns to you and put you in a spot! (shaking head)

[abood]

ASSALAM ALAIKUM,
sisters i need a dua or something that a girl can get marry ...i know its up to destiny but want dua too.......some1 need it.....
jazakALLAHkum khair,
WASSALAM.