Death

[Nero]

This is a difficult post, I apologise in advance:

My wife and I where lucky enough to have a little girl just over three years ago, a good friend of my wife’s happened to give birth to anther girl just two weeks beforehand. By default of having a young family, we all became very close, the young girls loved playing with each other, and the new mothers (and fathers) where able to share the difficulties and pleasures of new parenthood.

I found out this morning that my friends three year old died this weekend.

I’m not a poster to any other forums on the internet, and I realise as I’m not a Muslim I really should not be posting this here. But the anonymity of posting here allows me to type this. I’m crying……………..

What can I say to my friends, what can I say to my daughter?

[>UserName<]

Death is the only guarantee in life. Everbody has to go through it at some stage- some early on in life and some a little while later.

Its always an extremely sorrowful time when someone dies and it leaves a big hole in our heart. These are our feelings, and its okay to grieve over our loss, but we should realise the Maker has simply taken away what was His - when a child dies, its good to remember that they are in a better place, happy, and waiting for their parents in Heaven (this is what we as Muslims believe).

I hope some of the above words may be a comfort to your friend and your daughter.


Death is universal and knows no boundary, and that is probably one of the reasons you felt compelled to post here. And you're welcome to do so whenever you like.

[Nero]

Thankyou for taking the time to post a reply UserName.

At this stage I have no idea why I posted my comment on this forum, apart from the fact this is the only forum I post to.

I feel so horrible, my friends have lost their daugther, ............

[Saeed Al-Muslim]

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioon, to Allah (swT) we belong, and to Him is our return. May Allah (swT) open the gates of paradise for this girl, Ameen.

[Arsalan]

I think saying too much can belittle the tremendous loss.

Giving company, and being theire for your friends is better. Just dont talk too much. Sometimes a few words rather then many is far more comforting. Also give ur friend space and just BE THERE to offer a prescence and they are not alone in this tradgedy.

[Ignatius F. Peace]

I feel your hurt bro ... just assure your friends that you are there for them ... losing a child must be unimaginable ...

[Nero]

I feel your hurt bro ... just assure your friends that you are there for them ... losing a child must be unimaginable ...

If I had a choice, and of course I don't, I would just absorb all their pain myself..........

She was the most beutiful three year old in the world, aren't they all........

[Nero]

I think saying too much can belittle the tremendous loss.

Giving company, and being theire for your friends is better. Just dont talk too much. Sometimes a few words rather then many is far more comforting. Also give ur friend space and just BE THERE to offer a prescence and they are not alone in this tradgedy.

Thanks

[aisha2007]

It is an awful time when anyone dies, but to lose a child must be the worst of all. But remembering the child is an innocent, is sinless and passes straight to Jennah.

I hope that you and your friends find peace and comfort with each other, just be there for them .... grief is a natural process, it takes time, just be there for each other.

[Nero]

It is an awful time when anyone dies, but to lose a child must be the worst of all. But remembering the child is an innocent, is sinless and passes straight to Jennah.

I hope that you and your friends find peace and comfort with each other, just be there for them .... grief is a natural process, it takes time, just be there for each other.

Thank You

[Redmist]

I can only imagine what that would be like :(

But best to let the whole grieving process follow thru. Dont hold anything back, celebrate the 3 year olds life, what she did, what she said, how she was and really cry.

[assia]

Inna liahi wa inna wa ilahi rajioun..... to Allah we belong to Allah we shall return...



Dear friend.... i feel the pain and hurt your friends are going through, i lost my first born this year, he would be 21 next week... It hurts so bad...but we have to accept that what we all have in common in this world is that we all shall die.... only some die young, and as parents we expect to die before our children.. Be there for them, there is nothing else you can really do but share the moments of remembering the life of this little princess who is now in paradise, my heart goes out to you and your friends. It must be hard for you also and im sorry for your loss also, and now you have to explain to your little girl where her friend is, tell her she is in paradise and that she will see her one day! For me it hurts everyday ..... i miss my son so much, the pain for me has not gone away, but i believe he is in paradise/Jannah and that i shall be with him one day, thats what keeps me strong! I hope your frineds can find peace, just be there for them dear friend. Again im sorry for your loss!!!!:(


Sister in islam

[Nero]

Inna liahi wa inna wa ilahi rajioun..... to Allah we belong to Allah we shall return...



Dear friend.... i feel the pain and hurt your friends are going through, i lost my first born this year, he would be 21 next week... It hurts so bad...but we have to accept that what we all have in common in this world is that we all shall die.... only some die young, and as parents we expect to die before our children.. Be there for them, there is nothing else you can really do but share the moments of remembering the life of this little princess who is now in paradise, my heart goes out to you and your friends. It must be hard for you also and im sorry for your loss also, and now you have to explain to your little girl where her friend is, tell her she is in paradise and that she will see her one day! For me it hurts everyday ..... i miss my son so much, the pain for me has not gone away, but i believe he is in paradise/Jannah and that i shall be with him one day, thats what keeps me strong! I hope your frineds can find peace, just be there for them dear friend. Again im sorry for your loss!!!!:(


Sister in islam

Thank you, so very much.

Witnessing the pain my friends are going through gives me an inkling of what it must must have been and still is, for youself.

I'm so sorry for you, thank you for sharing.

[Eemaan]

I am so sorry for your grief and despite who we are and our differeances we feel your grief and loss.

I hope time heals Allah willing and that your friends can gradually accept her loss and readjust somehow. I hope they heal soon, im so sorry again.

From Allah we come and unto him is his return. you thread poses such an important reminder about how fickle human mortality is and how we need live in accordance with knowing we could lose anyone of our loved ones at any time.

Thank you for this thread.

[Abdulah]

What can I say to my friends, what can I say to my daughter?

Just tell your friends.
As for your daughter, she is still very young, so just let her down gently, as a parent you know your daughter best, you'll what to say when the time comes.

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

inalilahi wa ina ilaihi rajion

to Allah we belong to him we return, its sad to hear about ur friend's loss ur loss, at this point u cant do any thing but b helpfull to the girl's family, go there stay with them if needed, try to make em cumffy with ur presence and hopefuly they will get over their loss inshaAllah

may Allah have mercy on us n guide us all Ameen

[MG]

Thankyou for taking the time to post a reply UserName.

At this stage I have no idea why I posted my comment on this forum, apart from the fact this is the only forum I post to.

I feel so horrible, my friends have lost their daugther, ............


we all belong to Allah and to him we must return.

im sorry to hear of the loss of your friends. They will get thru this, somehow in a very strange way, wen we lose a close one to death, we still do carry on with our lives, we have to and they must too.


I find it difficult to know what to say to non-muslims in regards to their dead, becos alot of what gives comfort to muslims when death comes , is the quran and giving verses of the quran to a non-muslim, they might feel insulted or something.

losing your child is one of the worst things to go thru in life.

[Nero]

I find it difficult to know what to say to non-muslims in regards to their dead, becos alot of what gives comfort to muslims when death comes , is the quran and giving verses of the quran to a non-muslim, they might feel insulted or something.

I'm not religious, but I do respect the beliefs of others. Reading some of the posts above that evoke "returning to Allah" etc are in many ways very moving, and comforting.

As I mentioned in my initial post, I'm really not sure why I posted this here, perhaps I just felt the need to "communicate".

I've decided not to mention anything to my daughter just yet. I really don't think that a three year old would be able to comprehend what death is.

My wife and I are offering all the help and support we can to our friends, it's hard.

Thank you one-and-all for your replies.

[MG]

I'm not religious, but I do respect the beliefs of others. Reading some of the posts above that evoke "returning to Allah" etc are in many ways very moving, and comforting.

As I mentioned in my initial post, I'm really not sure why I posted this here, perhaps I just felt the need to "communicate".

I've decided not to mention anything to my daughter just yet. I really don't think that a three year old would be able to comprehend what death is.

My wife and I are offering all the help and support we can to our friends, it's hard.

Thank you one-and-all for your replies.


IMO i would certainly not tell a 3 yr old what has happened, it is completely not within their comprehension.

Thats all u can do, be there for them, although it must be very difficult for them to see your 3 yr old and know that their one is not here anymore :(

Probably best to keep ur daughter of their way until they get over the worst, must be very difficult for all of u :(

i wouldnt keep questioning why u posted here, we dont bite u know, as u can see from the responses :)

Verily to Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed time.