View Full Version : Anger
salamolaikum
Ive a problem, i have a lot of anger inside of me. Little things can annoy me, people annoy me i get v.angry and can say mean things about people.
how can i stop this?
i dnt wana get ghunnaa but its just that things like when people tel u somefink at the last minute and expect u do to wot they say, or when some1 does not listen. it gets me soo angry
guess who
26-07-07, 11:50 PM
haha, i'm like you, but i have improved a lot, since i always think after i get angry that what i did before was wrong, you also do it, maybe we both get better with time inshaAllah.
find some sort of physical activity to take out your aggression on
salamolaikum
Ive a problem, i have a lot of anger inside of me. Little things can annoy me, people annoy me i get v.angry and can say mean things about people.
how can i stop this?
i dnt wana get ghunnaa but its just that things like when people tel u somefink at the last minute and expect u do to wot they say, or when some1 does not listen. it gets me soo angry
Summary of article below
1 - Simple advice for following Islam - Don't get angry
2 - As narrated by Bukhari, the Prophet(saw) spoke of a sentence that would keep anger away, and that was Ta’awwuz – “I seek refuge from the rejected Shaytaan” (Au'uthu billah hi min Ash-Shaytaan nir Rajim)
3 - ‘Anger is from Shaytaan and Shaytaan has been created from fire. Since water extinguishes fire, therefore, when one of you is overtaken by anger let him make Wudhu’ (Abu Dawood) He also said, ‘The one who becomes angry while standing should sit down. If his anger has still not subsided, then he should lie down’. (Ahmad, Tirmidhi).
Anger Management
A man once approached the Prophet (saw) expressing that he was somewhat overwhelmed with learning Islam’s injunctions. The man asked for simple advice that he could follow, to which the Prophet (saw) replied, “Don’t get angry.” (Tirmidhi)
The Prophet (saw) also explained the true reality of strength, he said, ‘He who can overpower others in wrestling is not really a strong man. True strength is in that individual who can control himself at the time of anger’ (Bukhari)
What is Anger? It can be defined as that emotional state for which the symptoms might include reddening of the face, clenching of the fists, and befogging of the mind, oh, and saying stupid things should probably fall into that too.
So, why so much importance on anger? Firstly, restrain your anger, and Allah will restrain His anger on you. Secondly, well, I think we can all relate to the fact that we are not fully in our right minds when we get angry. We do things that we don’t want to do. Things that we often regret later. In fact, one writer puts it thus, ‘A moment of patience at the time of anger saves one from years of regret and sorrow’. Sometimes we get angry at things that we shouldn’t. Perhaps it is possible to contain anger altogether through the remembrance of Allah (like in the next hadith), but this is very difficult, it is probably more realistic to focus on controlling ones anger with activity.
The Prophet (saw) once was cleaning his teeth using miswaak, he called out to a maid servant who didn’t respond. She was seen playing outside, to which his reaction was “Had I not feared retribution on the Day of Judgement I would have thrown this miswaak at you.” (Bukhari) The Prophet (saw) was known to be a very soft person, he was probably quite angry to even reach this state, but he controlled it through the remembrance of Allah. The hadith shows it is only human to get angry; the importance is in controlling it. It also pays heed to the fact that the beating of servants was strictly prohibited by Islam, whilst for the Arabs at that time it was a given.
A practical approach to dealing with anger was given to us by our beloved messenger, Muhammad (saw) – I mean, before the advent of stress balls and punch bags, which it could be argued, that although they redirect anger, still promote an aggressive response. As narrated by Bukhari, the Prophet(saw) spoke of a sentence that would keep anger away, and that was Ta’awwuz – “I seek refuge from the rejected Shaytaan”. He taught us that, ‘Anger is from Shaytaan and Shaytaan has been created from fire. Since water extinguishes fire, therefore, when one of you is overtaken by anger let him make Wudhu’ (Abu Dawood) He also said, ‘The one who becomes angry while standing should sit down. If his anger has still not subsided, then he should lie down’. (Ahmad, Tirmidhi). The physiological cooling of Wudhu is very effective at dealing with Anger.
Therefore follow the simple advice of the Prophet (saw), “Don’t get angry,” and then be witness to your increase in Iman, the betterment of your actions for the sake of Allah, and your heightened sense of contentment, happiness and tranquility. Isn’t Islam complete?
The Prophet (saw) said: "The best of you (meaning, in the eyes of Allah) are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down (Tirmidhi)
Gosh I have the same problem! I get angry and run on the mouth very quickly aswell ... and then i regret it terribly. I've been trying to do the following in all heated moments - hold my tongue, say a'oodhubillah...to clear your head , calm myself, if need leave the room for a few moments, take a breather, drink something etc
Mutawwa
27-07-07, 03:40 PM
Anger is from the embers of the fire.
Make wudu
Sit if standing
Lie down if sitting
Manage your anger.
The Prophet (saw) also explained the true reality of strength, he said, ‘He who can overpower others in wrestling is not really a strong man. True strength is in that individual who can control himself at the time of anger’ (Bukhari)
^Subhanallah, thanks.
Thank u seven, advice, guess who and mutawa.
Is there anything besides a punchbag that is good 4 anger?
Anger is from shaytaan hm, wot if ur dad is very rude to ur mother and dsnt provide her money 4food or clothes and dsnt pay d rent, jus bosses her, swears and expects her 2 do everythin,&this makes u angry, iv seen it for too many yrs now, it jus gets me 2 angry.
SubhanAllah bro. May Allah rectify your situation and reward those who are patient as he has promised. Ameen.
Try to remember from your point of view, do not hate a person, but hate their wrong actions. We do not always know from where they stem, but this also does not justify them. And still, even though it is hard, it does not justify rudeness towards a person; so we should try not to say things that we will later come to regret.
InshaAllah talking about anger, and the good things that the Prophet (saw) has taught us about the one who controls it, will help remind us all to try to stop being angry. The problem with anger is that it doesn't help us to act in a way that is good for us or well thought out but often leads to something we regret later, something that incurs a sin. Feeling hate in our heart for something which is against something bad, something which is against the command of Allah, is not something bad. But letting personal anger take over, so that we end up going against the command of Allah, is perhaps not.
Another lesson on anger, to control our tongues, that I quite liked:
take a sip of your water in your mouth and do not swallow it or spit it out, but keep it there until "s/he" has calmed down. Well, he practiced that and a few months later, he reported back that it did work.
I gave a textbook answer earlier, because it is good to start from the foundation. By no means did I mean to belittle your situation. May Allah help you in your situation and provide you with a good solution. May Allah help us all to restrain our anger, and keep within the limits He has set for us, in order that we may attain His pleasure and forgiveness, so that we may attain Paradise. Ameen.
Allahu Alim. Allah knows best.
SubhanAllah bro. May Allah rectify your situation and reward those who are patient as he has promised. Ameen.
Try to remember from your point of view, do not hate a person, but hate their wrong actions. We do not always know from where they stem, but this also does not justify them. And still, even though it is hard, it does not justify rudeness towards a person; so we should try not to say things that we will later come to regret.
InshaAllah talking about anger, and the good things that the Prophet (saw) has taught us about the one who controls it, will help remind us all to try to stop being angry. The problem with anger is that it doesn't help us to act in a way that is good for us or well thought out but often leads to something we regret later, something that incurs a sin. Feeling hate in our heart for something which is against something bad, something which is against the command of Allah, is not something bad. But letting personal anger take over, so that we end up going against the command of Allah, is perhaps not.
Another lesson on anger, to control our tongues, that I quite liked:
I gave a textbook answer earlier, because it is good to start from the foundation. By no means did I mean to belittle your situation. May Allah help you in your situation and provide you with a good solution. May Allah help us all to restrain our anger, and keep within the limits He has set for us, in order that we may attain His pleasure and forgiveness, so that we may attain Paradise. Ameen.
Allahu Alim. Allah knows best.
im a sis :$
Thank u soo much 4 ur ansnwer, it makes sense, but when things happen u get angry in a second and forget to be calm most the tym :(
yes, we should all control out tongues, hadith is those who control tongues and private parts will be granted jannah inshaallah :)
is the answer from an actual textbook? or u mean textbook answer in general.
ameen 2 adiyah :)
Baybars
29-07-07, 11:21 AM
I think the thing with anger is that every time a person loses their temper, that individual becomes more and more accustomed to it, and eventually becomes predisposed to getting angry. It’s almost as though the person is waiting for the next issue to set them off.
In general this is the way things go where a person’s nafs (desires) is concerned. It’s the same with food, zina etc. The more the nafs is fed, the more hungry it gets, creating a vicious circle. Think of it in terms of feeding an addiction.
It seems as though you may have gotten to this level with the issue of anger, which is quite unfortunate. It is unnatural not to feel or experience anger. Anger is a natural part of our being, otherwise we’d all be like donkeys. In some instances anger is a good thing. For example it helps us recognise oppression and injustice. Anger can also stimulate our sympathy and influence us to act in a sympathetic way. However, it is the uncontrolled expression of anger that will get an individual into trouble, and will also cause at the very least, discomfort in the person that the anger is being directed at, which may be unjustified.
The 2nd Caliph, Umar (RA) was well known for his temper, and it was the Prophet (PBUH) whose teaching and influence helped bring Umar’s (RA) temper under control. Umar’s (RA) temper did not vanish or dissapear, and was still a part of his personality, but he learned to become a master of it through the control of his nafs, and his fear of Allah. He eventually became one of the greatest personalities to have ever walked this earth, even though anger was very much an integral part of his persona.
It is true; anger to a person who has a short fuse is a very heavy burden. It is a test from Allah, and indeed it is a struggle that is fought throughout one’s life. I also am somewhat hot headed, and at this very moment am getting seriously annoyed with a situation (extremely loud music) that is unfolding in the house within which I am staying as a guest. It’s proving to be quite a challenge, but allowing my temper to overtake me will just push people away (not to mention getting me thrown out!).
I think the first step is to recognise that all people have strengths and weaknesses that are different from your own. Just as you see something in a person that provokes distaste within you, they may also see something in you that they disapprove of. In the absence of self-control, you would be at each other’s throats. Accept that we all have different perspectives, and it is this uniqueness that helps move individuals and societies forward.
Sometimes, you will face more then just a difference of opinion, especially when it concerns a major moral issue, which may make you very angry. You will find that the expression of your anger silences your opinion, and no matter how loud you shout, it will fall on deaf ears.
The above suggestions that others have posted are excellent, and you would be wise to follow such advice. You may also try counting to ten slowly in your head, concentrating on each number and drawing yourself into a calm state, every time your anger is provoked.
The trick is not to concentrate on suppressing your anger, but focussing on staying calm, and controlled. Know that you are not alone. I feel your pain! May Allah help us all.
I think the thing with anger is that every time a person loses their temper, that individual becomes more and more accustomed to it, and eventually becomes predisposed to getting angry. It’s almost as though the person is waiting for the next issue to set them off.
In general this is the way things go where a person’s nafs (desires) is concerned. It’s the same with food, zina etc. The more the nafs is fed, the more hungry it gets, creating a vicious circle. Think of it in terms of feeding an addiction.
It seems as though you may have gotten to this level with the issue of anger, which is quite unfortunate. It is unnatural not to feel or experience anger. Anger is a natural part of our being, otherwise we’d all be like donkeys. In some instances anger is a good thing. For example it helps us recognise oppression and injustice. Anger can also stimulate our sympathy and influence us to act in a sympathetic way. However, it is the uncontrolled expression of anger that will get an individual into trouble, and will also cause at the very least, discomfort in the person that the anger is being directed at, which may be unjustified.
The 2nd Caliph, Umar (RA) was well known for his temper, and it was the Prophet (PBUH) whose teaching and influence helped bring Umar’s (RA) temper under control. Umar’s (RA) temper did not vanish or dissapear, and was still a part of his personality, but he learned to become a master of it through the control of his nafs, and his fear of Allah. He eventually became one of the greatest personalities to have ever walked this earth, even though anger was very much an integral part of his persona.
It is true; anger to a person who has a short fuse is a very heavy burden. It is a test from Allah, and indeed it is a struggle that is fought throughout one’s life. I also am somewhat hot headed, and at this very moment am getting seriously annoyed with a situation (extremely loud music) that is unfolding in the house within which I am staying as a guest. It’s proving to be quite a challenge, but allowing my temper to overtake me will just push people away (not to mention getting me thrown out!).
I think the first step is to recognise that all people have strengths and weaknesses that are different from your own. Just as you see something in a person that provokes distaste within you, they may also see something in you that they disapprove of. In the absence of self-control, you would be at each other’s throats. Accept that we all have different perspectives, and it is this uniqueness that helps move individuals and societies forward.
Sometimes, you will face more then just a difference of opinion, especially when it concerns a major moral issue, which may make you very angry. You will find that the expression of your anger silences your opinion, and no matter how loud you shout, it will fall on deaf ears.
The above suggestions that others have posted are excellent, and you would be wise to follow such advice. You may also try counting to ten slowly in your head, concentrating on each number and drawing yourself into a calm state, every time your anger is provoked.
The trick is not to concentrate on suppressing your anger, but focussing on staying calm, and controlled. Know that you are not alone. I feel your pain! May Allah help us all.
jzkALLAH khair
ameen
im a sis :$
Whoops, for some reason presumed. Sorry sis.
forget to be calm most the tym :(
I think forgetfulness is one of the biggest human weaknesses. Maybe this is why our Iman falls sometimes and then we are reminded of a hadith or an ayah of the Qur'an and it is restored. Perhaps that is why we take time to recover from emotional states, because we don't immediately remember certain things.
Verily, we have sent down the Reminder, and, verily, we will guard it. Qur'an 15:9
Allah has called the Qur'an 'The Reminder,' this makes it an excellent and most suitable gift for us. Alhamdulillah.
yes, we should all control out tongues, hadith is those who control tongues and private parts will be granted jannah inshaallah :)
May Allah make us of those people. Ameen.
is the answer from an actual textbook? or u mean textbook answer in general.
Not actually a textbook. It was an article in a newsletter. Someone I know wrote it and doesn't mind me posting it without reference.
Wasalaam.
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