View Full Version : finkin:this needs to STOP
what if u keep finkin bout someone that u aint suposed to fink bout coz ur not married or nefing so its just best u dont
how do u stop finkin about them cs marriage aint an optoin eitha
.: Anna :.
24-07-07, 06:28 PM
Well r u totally totally sure marriage is not an option, if u think it is possible try to consider it and talk to ur parents insha allah
if not maybe u can fast to try and keep urself busy in other good things like reading quran, islamic books, memorising... this will occupy ur mind alot. or even jst spend time with good ppl, as wen ur alone ur mind can wander onto watever u want to think about. if ur busy with ppl u dnt have so much chance... after a while of not thinking or seeing this person, gradually u mght forget them anyway or become less bothered about them
Well r u totally totally sure marriage is not an option, if u think it is possible try to consider it and talk to ur parents insha allah
if not maybe u can fast to try and keep urself busy in other good things like reading quran, islamic books, memorising... this will occupy ur mind alot. or even jst spend time with good ppl, as wen ur alone ur mind can wander onto watever u want to think about. if ur busy with ppl u dnt have so much chance... after a while of not thinking or seeing this person, gradually u mght forget them anyway or become less bothered about them
thats just it marraige cant happen
too mnay resons
this is probz 1 sided n'all so it has to STOP
J/k
thats just it marraige cant happen
too mnay resons
this is probz 1 sided n'all so it has to STOP
J/k
Just STOP then, no point thinking about something which you are so sure for not happening..no point wasting ur time and energy in something so meaningless...occupy urself in doing more good deeds, maybe when u start thinkin about whatever ur thinking about start doing dikhr or something...just replace it with something else and keep doing it until u completely STOP thinking about this.
Hope Allah makes it easy on you to forget it.
Debater
24-07-07, 09:33 PM
Try to avoid the way the other person goes to. Find something to keep you busy, and go away from everything which leads to the thoughts of that person. It's better to get some trouble in order to avoid the pains.
therapy
25-07-07, 05:45 AM
If marriage isn't an option and you are in contact with this person then I think you should end all contact - whether that's seeing them or meeting them, email, text, phone and so on. Delete phone numbers, email addresses, from instant message services etc.
Avoid things that remind you of the person or bring you into contact with them.
Make duah that Allah removes these feelings from your heart in every sujood and at the best times to make duah, in the last part of the night. Whenever these thoughts come to mind, make duah that He removes them.
Say inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon and make duah that He replaces it with something better.
Read Quran, make a lot of adhkar, keep yourself busy with other beneficial activities and with company - avoid being alone.
Perhaps try to address the reasons why you feel this way about this person - maybe you are idealising them. Focus on their faults and weaknesses, whatever you find offputting; focus on why marriage is impossible in this situation.
If you fell into this situation due to some sin (even if minor) on your part (like not lowering the gaze, speaking, corresponding or meeting the opposite sex etc) then make a lot of istighfar and tawbah, and try to focus of the magnitude of the sins in His sight to deter you from returning to that.
Read books and listen to lectures about the akhira, His punishment and the rewards for good deeds to help you in this.
Try to get married to someone else if possible.
May Allah help you to overcome this and replace it with something better in marriage.
muslim_sis
25-07-07, 04:12 PM
Assalamu Alaykum sister,
InshAllah you should try your best to make marriage an option, because you keep thinking about this brother, it would mean that you want to marry him. Allahu Alam, you said it was one sided, though you wont know until you ask. If you've exhausted all means of the option of marriage being available, then you should really make dua to Allah for what is best for you as you may feel that the feeling is so strong. Ask Allah to give you good out of this experience in your life, whether its that you actually persevere and wait to make marriage an option and so successfully get married or if you move on and inshallah become closer to Allah.
Remember to always thank Allah for the situation you are in regardless of how hard it is. This brings you automatically closer to Allah as you are in need of His help and you are content with what what Allah has given you. You have trust and hope in Him to answer your duas by giving you what is best for you !
And remember Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear. Keep making dua to Allah and your situation wont be as bad as a person in the same situation without knowledge of his/her Lord.
May Allah be with you and make it easy for you - Ameen
If marriage isn't an option and you are in contact with this person then I think you should end all contact - whether that's seeing them or meeting them, email, text, phone and so on. Delete phone numbers, email addresses, from instant message services etc.
Avoid things that remind you of the person or bring you into contact with them.
Make duah that Allah removes these feelings from your heart in every sujood and at the best times to make duah, in the last part of the night. Whenever these thoughts come to mind, make duah that He removes them.
Say inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon and make duah that He replaces it with something better.
Read Quran, make a lot of adhkar, keep yourself busy with other beneficial activities and with company - avoid being alone.
Perhaps try to address the reasons why you feel this way about this person - maybe you are idealising them. Focus on their faults and weaknesses, whatever you find offputting; focus on why marriage is impossible in this situation.
If you fell into this situation due to some sin (even if minor) on your part (like not lowering the gaze, speaking, corresponding or meeting the opposite sex etc) then make a lot of istighfar and tawbah, and try to focus of the magnitude of the sins in His sight to deter you from returning to that.
Read books and listen to lectures about the akhira, His punishment and the rewards for good deeds to help you in this.
Try to get married to someone else if possible.
May Allah help you to overcome this and replace it with something better in marriage.
J/K all
Mmmm rough place to be in, i think u shuld 1st find out if all of this is 1 sided if it isnt try thinking about marraige, if both options arnt agreeable keep urself occupied and have faith in Allah swt, pray istikhara, if ur still confused.
Anon.1.
28-07-07, 03:20 PM
what if u keep finkin bout someone that u aint suposed to fink bout coz ur not married or nefing so its just best u dont
how do u stop finkin about them cs marriage aint an optoin eitha
Delete them frm ur memory, if u hav there # delete that, all emails, everything.
u said marriage isnt an option, then what can hapen? u dnt want to commit zina so u have 2 do everythin to stop thinkin of this person, take up a hobby or something
Delete them frm ur memory, if u hav there # delete that, all emails, everything.
u said marriage isnt an option, then what can hapen? u dnt want to commit zina so u have 2 do everythin to stop thinkin of this person, take up a hobby or something
Mmm have u seen this person?
Mmm have u seen this person?
seen who? i hav no idea who the ppl involved r.
seen who? i hav no idea who the ppl involved r.
:smack: im asking the brother-sister who made the thread the reason i quoted u is bcuz u said delete emails and numbers ect. i was going to say if he-she had met the person its gonna be harder 4 them!
perfectpearl
08-08-07, 04:44 AM
If you know you cant marry him/her just forget them completely!
e14 don
08-08-07, 11:49 PM
you probably have a crush on her... dont worry the feelings dissapear... eventually
ayt well alot of sisters have da same problem, but d truf is if u n dis brother r meant to b den Allah TaAllah will bring you 2getover but if u aint den Allah has sum1 better 4 u dat will love u 4 hu u r n love evry last bit of u. waheva is written in ur kismat will happen and all bad fngs happen 4 a gud reason.
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