adultery

[badguy]

I need help.
I'm married, but I get temtped to meet up with this girl that I know. I know that it will end up in fornication. I keep begging god to help me control my nafs but I keep finding myself foning her. We had met up a frequently last year and things always ended up in fornication. Recently I found my way back to the rightous path, but I keep getting tempted. I don't want to do it, but I can't control my nafs. what can i do ?

I dont understand it, because i do love my wife, but it's like when i used to be with this other girl, everything was chilled (no stress and tension).

Please help me

[.: Anna :.]

can you move house to a dif town so that it will b physically alot harder 2 meet up with her? and delete her number out of ur phone

[Al-Nasser]

this is adultery not fornication

try burning your own ships.....next time you talk to this girl insult her really badly and tell her that you don't want to see her dirty face ever again

this is called cold turkey......hard to do.....but it is the most successful way to stop an addiction

[badguy]

i've got her number stored in my head.

I don't want to run, i want to control my nafs before i end up down the wrong path again. if it's not her, i'm scared i'll just look for anyone

[badguy]

can you move house to a dif town so that it will b physically alot harder 2 meet up with her? and delete her number out of ur phone

I've got her number stored in my head, and even if i did, i'm scared that i'm so weak, that i'll find some one else. I want to control my nafs instead of them controling me.

[assia]

this is adultery not fornication

try burning your own ships.....next time you talk to this girl insult her really badly and tell her that you don't want to see her dirty face ever again

this is called cold turkey......hard to do.....but it is the most successful way to stop an addiction

awww thats not very nice:( to insult her it's his fault as well as hers... Read Qur'an... seek mercy from Allah (swt) say oth billa min al shaytan every time your tempted to ring her, Pray to Allah (swt) to guide you brother, and keep reading more Qur'an!!!
Or if still your tempted... then marry her and save yourself from the hellfire!!!
Do not let the whispers of shaytan affect your heart.

May Allah (swt) guide you!

Sister in islam

[Medievalist]

Theres only one thing to do and that is cutting all contact with her. Thats the hardest and simplest thing. Delete her fone number, delete her messages, avoid places where you might "bump" into her. You mention you have her number in your head, truth is bro that that number might not ever leave you but that isnt your responsibility. You stop the action you are capable of.

If your wife were to be doing this activity with another man you'd be fuming, why is it any different that you are doing this to her. If a woman is keeping herself pure for you you need to be a man and be pure for her. Seriously bro I feel like giving you a slap - go cold turkey as Al-Nasser said.

May ALLAH Ta'ala grant you nija'at from this other woman, and fill your house with mercy, mutual affection and blessings. May He Ta'ala protect you housepeople from your evil and keep them in His Special Protection - ameen

[Al Qadr]

Spend more time with your wife
Delete this girls number
Your a married man, you have responsibilities, your actions can lead to hurt for a lot of people.
Is this "quickie" or whatever it is worth the risk of the hellfire?
This life is nothing but play and amusement.

[badguy]

awww thats not very nice:( to insult her it's his fault as well as hers... Read Qur'an... seek mercy from Allah (swt) say oth billa min al shaytan every time your tempted to ring her, Pray to Allah (swt) to guide you brother, and keep reading more Qur'an!!!
Or if still your tempted... then marry her and save yourself from the hellfire!!!
Do not let the whispers of shaytan affect your heart.

May Allah (swt) guide you!

Sister in islam

erm sister,I am already married

[angel*]

I think its imp. 4 you to bulid a stronger realtionship with ur wife. what has the "other" girl got that ur wife hasnt? U need to strt valuing her more mk her the only significant person in ur life and stop thinking about other women.

[*hayat*]

well get the number out of your head, just think once if your wife was doing this to you then?

spend more time with your wife, just move away from this girl and dont talk to her, i am sure in only few weeks you will forget her,

also tell your wife about your problem, she might become more carefull and might be able to help you more,

cheating really is a terrible thing, and even talking to this girl is wrong as its not allowed, if you love this girl then speak to your wife and marry oherwise stop havign contact with her

[~Jafrene~]

try explaining to ur wife she may understnd inshAllah, coz if u deal with this on ur own u may find it a lil difficult

[Nazias]

Remember that you will have to answer to Allah(swt) for all that you do. You are married and you will (like evryone else) will be asked how you spent your time and the way in which you treated your loved ones.

What you do is between you and Allah(swt) and I am neither judging nor saying what you are or are not doing, as Allah Alim and that's all that matters but below are some remindsrs:

...Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. - The Noble Qur'an 24:30

Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the house of Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr also entered (and she was at that time his wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of it and he made a mention of that to Allah's Messenger (saaws) and said: I did not see but good only (in my wife). Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: Verily Allah has made her immune from all this. Then Allah's Messenger stood on the pulpit and said: After this day no man should enter the house of another person in his absence, but only when he is accompanied by one person or two persons. - Hadith: Al-Bukhari Book 25, No. 5403

Allah's Apostle said, "When a slave (of Allah) commits illegal sexual intercourse, he is not a believer at the time of committing it; and if he steals, he is not a believer at the time of stealing; and if he drinks an alcoholic drink, when he is not a believer at the time of drinking it; and he is not a believer when he commits a murder." 'Ikrima said: I asked Ibn Abbas, "How is faith taken away from him?" He said, Like this," by clasping his hands and then separating them, and added, "But if he repents, faith returns to him like this," by clasping his hands again. - Hadith: Sahih Bukhari 8.800B, Narrated Ikrima from Ibn Abbas

Insha'allah, I hope that helps! :up:

[Umm 'Umarah]

he can't tell his wife he is cheating on her! that's diabolical.

first and foremost change your mobile number

tell this girl that you are a married man! if that shouldn't put her off then I don't know what will. she must be a filthy creature otherwise.

you really need to control yourself, you need to start by keeping good company, making new male practicing friends (if you don't already have friends that are practicing)

spend more time with your wife and children, and keep yourself occupied with family and friends, when you leave the house... take someone with you,

relocate if possible.

Most importantly... fear Allah and have some consideration for your wife.
how would you feel if she cheated on you?!

You have a lovely wife whom Allah has made pure and halaal for you, take care of her, love her if you did this properly you would not feel the urge to look elsewhere.

[Abu Mus'ab]

I need help.
I'm married, but I get temtped to meet up with this girl that I know. I know that it will end up in fornication. I keep begging god to help me control my nafs but I keep finding myself foning her. We had met up a frequently last year and things always ended up in fornication. Recently I found my way back to the rightous path, but I keep getting tempted. I don't want to do it, but I can't control my nafs. what can i do ?

I dont understand it, because i do love my wife, but it's like when i used to be with this other girl, everything was chilled (no stress and tension).

Please help me
Why not marry her? :confused:

[advisor7]

you can control ur nafs if u tried hard enuf
millions of husbands the world over can do it
so why not u?
change ur number and email address
never meet up with her
what will you do when ur wife finds out? coz if u carry on, believe me she will, the truth has a way of showing up when u least expect it

[Mutawwa]

Astagfrullah.
Why is it that you keep going to this other woman? Try fasting to control the desires of the opposite gender. Spend time with your wife and sort out whatever is causing stress and tension in the household.
The punishment for adultery is stoning to death I believe?

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:


:salams



I dont understand it, because i do love my wife, but it's like when i used to be with this other girl, everything was chilled (no stress and tension).

Please help me

Firstly if you were one of my male relatives i'd give you a smack on the head - i kid you not, i'm not a violent person but these things make me furious.:lailah:

Everything chilled - of course brother because this girl isn't with you making decisions about bill paying, managing the house and other activities a husband and wife share- she's good for a few stress relieving things and that's it.


You live with her for a month and it'll wear off. Life has stress and tension. Islam keeps them in check. If you wife ever found out Allah forbid - you would wish that day never came- d not take advantage of her sweet trusting nature because if she ever finds out SubhanAllah.:(

Change your number- this is a path leading you to the fire. You are messing with someone's sister...someone's daughter :ahb: :( Allah Hu Akbar if she doesn't have the modesty and decency to end it and stop throwing her modesty away...then let it be you!

You are doing haraam acts with a girl that if one of our female relatives was done the same we'd go up in flames. Let her go- you are throwing yourself and this girl in a destructive pit.

Why not marry her? :confused:

Many guys don't trust these sort of girls- they're good for a few things but marriage isn't one of them. They like to mess around but no way are their characters good enough to be their wives and mother of their children. There is no trust hence why this whole mess is destructive- there isn't a good thing in it :ahb:

[ur_yusra]

How about you start praying five times a day?

[Lu'Lu]

The sin is greater for you because you are married, Allah has provided a means for you to vent your desires yet you still wish to go to this other woman. The sin of zina is greater for an old man than it is for a young man as desire diminishes with age and so it is less justified for an old man to fornicate than an young man to. Likewise, if you are married there is no justification for your actions.

FEAR ALLAH, is this woman worth risking your dunya and akhirah for? As we are not living in an Islamic state you would not be subject to the hadd (capital punishment), which is worse because it means that punishment in the akhirah will be greater.

Start fasting, especially since the days are long in the summer. It will weaken your desire and make things easier for you.

[Baybars]

Think about how hurt your wife will be if she discovers that you cheat on her. She will be devastated beyond all measure. If you think you are stressed now, wait till she finds out, then you'll know the meaning of stress and tension; when the prospect of losing the wife that you love becomes real, and when you see her suffer in the grief you have caused her.

When you entered into a contract of marriage, you agreed to be faithful too her, and you agreed to take care of her and her heart. She is a trust to you from Allah, and you are charged with her protection. You have already broken the covenant that you made with her and with Allah. You have created a situation that is out of balance and unjust. Remember, no matter what, when all is said and done, the scales will have to be balanced. Either you repent (ask Allah for forgiveness, be sincerely sorry in your heart and VOW to Allah that you will never do it again) and hope Allah forgives you, or you will pay for your sins one way or another. Nothing happens in this world that isn't rectified either in this world or in the hereafter. It's time for you to become a man my brother. It is not becoming for a slave of Allah, one that bows and submits to Allah's grace, to disobey Allah directly, and to create a situation that has the potential to cause another of His slaves such pain and suffering.

The strength lies within you to cut ties with this pariah woman, and concentrate on fulfilling your obligations, but only you can summon it.

Where there is will, there is always a way. Follow Allah’s will and you will find your way.

[muslimuk]

you said arranged marriahe right? maybe you not ready formarriage. maybe you want free no strings attached relationship. but remember you are already i na contract. temptation will be there shaytan will temp you all the time. to make you commit sinful acts.
the eason you are going to another women is due to the fact you dont love your wife. even though you say it its not true other wise there would be no need.

If your wife is not satisfying your needs then get married again. As much as your wife may not want it. at least you wont be doing haram islamically

may allah make it easy for you