A Muslim woman's Greatest Challenge

[muslimahonline]

salam,

My greatest challenge I think is to obey my husband.

We are educated, taught to think, taught to speak our minds and suddenly we are cut off. That is hard. Very hard for me and many women around the world. but after these years, I have also learnt one other thing, we can obey our husbands AND voice our opinions. We just need to do it wisely..

ALLAH has given us the choice. Choose the right path.

What else is hard? Resisting temptations.

Make-up, jewellery, beautiful clothing, expensive furniture, new drapes every year, things we dont need etc

Do we need a chair to sit? if our husbands can afford it why not, but if he cant why do we need chairs?

How many marriages has ended because of money ? one of the weapons of Shaytan. Wives stay home, cook clean, raise the children and expect husbands to come home to pamper them and give them what they want as they think they deserve it. HUsbands go to work 10 hours a day come home expect their wives to attend and pamper them. Wives complaints of not having this and that, not having enough.

If we wives spend wisely and not follow temptations, the income that our husbands bring back would be enough. InshaALLAH. No MC DOnalds or KFC or DOminos. ISnt the responsibility of a husband is to provide shelter, protection, a clean place to live and raise the family, education, food and clothing?

Isnt a small house with 3 bedrooms enough, mattresses to sleep on, food on the floor as we dont need tables to eat, clothing that covers our awrah enough? why do we need to work? to pay for our vacations? To pay for our lipsticks and perfumes, to pay for our gold chains, to pay for the birthday gifts for our friends, that is not even practised by Islam?

Obeying our husband is not degrading, we are not oppressed in fact we are put in a special place where many women don't understand. If we have good husbands who obeys ALLAH, say Thank you ALLAH, ALhamdulillah for giving us responsible husbands who come back late because of working to provide halal income for the family. The least we can do is to give inspirational words, say thank you, pamper our husbands, give our best, have quality time with them, keep the marriage warm till our last breath.

Appreciate your husbands when you have them, no matter how bad you think they are, there is always some good in them, InshaALLAH, wives have the power to mould their husbands if they choose to. DO good to others, others will do good to you.

Obey our husbands, If he says please pick this for me, dont say later, do it straight away, treat him with respect, if he says dont leave the house say OK, ask later. If he says JUMP.. say How High.....

[THE PATH 2]

i treat my wife like a queen

because she treats me like a king:coolbro:


truly marriage is about co operation and working together

there should be no power struggles or issues

alhamdulillah ive now been married nearly 15 years:hidban:


it is a challenge of manhood too, a great struggle of patience and working together

it will make you a real man and woman ..

if the marriage is successful the children will benefit
the community will benefit

the world will benefit

inshaallah

[muslimahonline]

True, Agreed, May ALLAH SWT gives you barakah and peace always..

[Supernova Nebula]

salam,

My greatest challenge I think is to obey my husband.

We are educated, taught to think, taught to speak our minds and suddenly we are cut off. That is hard. Very hard for me and many women around the world. but after these years, I have also learnt one other thing, we can obey our husbands AND voice our opinions. We just need to do it wisely..

ALLAH has given us the choice. Choose the right path.

What else is hard? Resisting temptations.

Make-up, jewellery, beautiful clothing, expensive furniture, new drapes every year, things we dont need etc

Do we need a chair to sit? if our husbands can afford it why not, but if he cant why do we need chairs?

How many marriages has ended because of money ? one of the weapons of Shaytan. Wives stay home, cook clean, raise the children and expect husbands to come home to pamper them and give them what they want as they think they deserve it. HUsbands go to work 10 hours a day come home expect their wives to attend and pamper them. Wives complaints of not having this and that, not having enough.

If we wives spend wisely and not follow temptations, the income that our husbands bring back would be enough. InshaALLAH. No MC DOnalds or KFC or DOminos. ISnt the responsibility of a husband is to provide shelter, protection, a clean place to live and raise the family, education, food and clothing?

Isnt a small house with 3 bedrooms enough, mattresses to sleep on, food on the floor as we dont need tables to eat, clothing that covers our awrah enough? why do we need to work? to pay for our vacations? To pay for our lipsticks and perfumes, to pay for our gold chains, to pay for the birthday gifts for our friends, that is not even practised by Islam?

Obeying our husband is not degrading, we are not oppressed in fact we are put in a special place where many women don't understand. If we have good husbands who obeys ALLAH, say Thank you ALLAH, ALhamdulillah for giving us responsible husbands who come back late because of working to provide halal income for the family. The least we can do is to give inspirational words, say thank you, pamper our husbands, give our best, have quality time with them, keep the marriage warm till our last breath.

Appreciate your husbands when you have them, no matter how bad you think they are, there is always some good in them, InshaALLAH, wives have the power to mould their husbands if they choose to. DO good to others, others will do good to you.

Obey our husbands, If he says please pick this for me, dont say later, do it straight away, treat him with respect, if he says dont leave the house say OK, ask later. If he says JUMP.. say How High.....

:rubeyes:

[mara]

I can't believe it sis what are you writing. :(He should understand the wife its an intelligent woman and he can talk with her each issue.

[muslimahonline]

I can't believe it sis what are you writing. :(He should understand the wife its an intelligent woman and he can talk with her each issue.

"We are educated, taught to think, taught to speak our minds and suddenly we are cut off. That is hard. Very hard for me and many women around the world. but after these years, I have also learnt one other thing, we can obey our husbands AND voice our opinions. We just need to do it wisely.."

Yes, agreed, if you find an intelligent husband and not a man who doesnt respect women, then you can discuss every issue with your husband BUT always discuss wisely by using certain terms like, Didnt you said this first or wasnt it you who suggested.. Or I think in my humble opinion or I am not to sure but maybe it should be like this...

Sentences like that will make your marriage be in peace InshaALLAH. NOT You are wrong, thats is not right, WHy did you, What makes you think.. etc... There are ways to incoporate your thoughts and ideas into you husband and not making him feel lesser than you. And always take care of the tone of your voice, speak softly and gently and not raise your voice.

Just my opinion.

Wallahua'laam

[ibnKathir27]

You are amongst the few muslim women who I have come accross on any forum that understand this. The attitude of many women these days is that marriage is a power struggle and if she obeys her husband he has somehow 'won' and she is being oppressed or weak. If she asks her husbands permission before she leaves the house her friends will think bad of her. If her husband asks her to iron his shirt her first response would be 'why don't you do it yourself?' and after all this she expects her husband to fufuill all her rights and be tender and warm to her

[afsalim]

Salaam sister.

I am a bit disturbed about your topic. Sister, dedication and obedience are two different things. A Muslim wife is neither a slave, nor an object owned by a man. She is the better half, another human being with whom a Muslim man shares his life, his heart, his spirit, his faith and inshallah his afterlife. A conjugal life is not about blind obedience, but rather a cooperative life of two souls. Sister, I am a man who is soon to be married. I would never think, let alone ask my wife to blindly follow my orders. Because she's an educated human being, capable of good judgment.

[Noor_Usman]

Asalamalikum.

Sorry Bhai but I have also been taught if your husband says "jump you should ask how high". You can debate something with him but at the end of the day the decision is his and if he choses to go against your advice there is nothing you can do about it.

If my husband tells me I can't go out because we have had a disagreement and I have lost my temper with him (shame on me!) then that's it....I CAN'T go out. He is my provider and protector so I must listen to him.

Just as I'd rather not work at all and have children now but financially it's not the best of ideas and so my husband has told me I have to work to help him out...so I work.

He still buys me gifts often, gives me some 'allowance money' to spend on myself, gives me many nice compliments and spends lots of time with me including coming and doing the mundaine food shop with me....so I shouldn't really grumble.

[aisha2007]

Salaam sister.

I am a bit disturbed about your topic. Sister, dedication and obedience are two different things. A Muslim wife is neither a slave, nor an object owned by a man. She is the better half, another human being with whom a Muslim man shares his life, his heart, his spirit, his faith and inshallah his afterlife. A conjugal life is not about blind obedience, but rather a cooperative life of two souls. Sister, I am a man who is soon to be married. I would never think, let alone ask my wife to blindly follow my orders. Because she's an educated human being, capable of good judgment.

Asalaam Alaikum

Alhamdulillah I agree with you akhi.
There is no way my husband would tell me to jump just for me to say how high. Please.
This is why we are told to marry someone who is within our educational/intelligence rationale.
I would not blindly follow my husband, nor would he expect me to. I asked him to read this post and while he read he shook his head and told me to tell him if I ever felt that he was asking my to blindly follow.
My husband knows he is third in my life, he follows behind Allah subhanawat'Allah and the Prophet Peace be upon him, and thats the way it is.
I do what I want, when I want as long as it is within the boundaries of Islam. And my husband is more than happy with that.
We share the chores, we share the cooking, whoever wakes up first for fajr wakes the other....we live as a couple not master and servant.

[angel*]

Salaam sister.

I am a bit disturbed about your topic. Sister, dedication and obedience are two different things. A Muslim wife is neither a slave, nor an object owned by a man. She is the better half, another human being with whom a Muslim man shares his life, his heart, his spirit, his faith and inshallah his afterlife. A conjugal life is not about blind obedience, but rather a cooperative life of two souls. Sister, I am a man who is soon to be married. I would never think, let alone ask my wife to blindly follow my orders. Because she's an educated human being, capable of good judgment.

:up:

Marraige is all about compromise, giving and taking on both sides, its about enjoying each otherz comapny, its not supposed to be a dicatorship where everything 1 says is Law. Dif.of opinion is what mks a marraige interesting.

[aisha2007]

:up:

Marraige is all about compromise, giving and taking on both sides, its about enjoying each otherz comapny, its not supposed to be a dicatorship where everything 1 says is Law. Dif.of opinion is what mks a marraige interesting.

:up: :)

[FallenAngel]

truly marriage is about co operation and working together

there should be no power struggles or issues
I agree with this you have said. Unfortunately, too many times men and women are selfish.
it is a challenge of manhood too, a great struggle of patience and working together

it will make you a real man and woman ..

if the marriage is successful the children will benefit
the community will benefit

the world will benefit

inshaallah
Beautifully put!
You are amongst the few muslim women who I have come accross on any forum that understand this. The attitude of many women these days is that marriage is a power struggle and if she obeys her husband he has somehow 'won' and she is being oppressed or weak. If she asks her husbands permission before she leaves the house her friends will think bad of her. If her husband asks her to iron his shirt her first response would be 'why don't you do it yourself?' and after all this she expects her husband to fufuill all her rights and be tender and warm to her
Agreed, selfishness for control in relationships can be a killer of the relationship. Both men and women are guilty of often introducing this poison into their marriage. Often I think it is pride and other times I think it is arrogance. Peace and love are seldom given the real consideration they should be.
Salaam sister.

I am a bit disturbed about your topic. Sister, dedication and obedience are two different things. A Muslim wife is neither a slave, nor an object owned by a man. She is the better half, another human being with whom a Muslim man shares his life, his heart, his spirit, his faith and inshallah his afterlife. A conjugal life is not about blind obedience, but rather a cooperative life of two souls. Sister, I am a man who is soon to be married. I would never think, let alone ask my wife to blindly follow my orders. Because she's an educated human being, capable of good judgment.
If only more people viewed their partner like this, there might be hope for many many more. Both men an women often don't possess the ability to use good judgment though. And, some people deliberately choose to do what they want with little consideration for their partner because they are selfish.

[Ebony]

Your greatest challenge as a Muslim woman isnt to obey your husband; you are not a child who requires disciplining and nor is he your father. Obedience in terms of "do what I say or else Hell is your destination" is a load of hogwash and a brilliant tactic in scaring women into doing what he wants you to do. The husband is not a demi-god. Mind you, if you end up with such a plonk then you're best getting out of there sooner rather than later.

Salaam sister.

I am a bit disturbed about your topic. Sister, dedication and obedience are two different things. A Muslim wife is neither a slave, nor an object owned by a man. She is the better half, another human being with whom a Muslim man shares his life, his heart, his spirit, his faith and inshallah his afterlife. A conjugal life is not about blind obedience, but rather a cooperative life of two souls. Sister, I am a man who is soon to be married. I would never think, let alone ask my wife to blindly follow my orders. Because she's an educated human being, capable of good judgment.

Wholeheartedly agree :up: Sane response.

[muslimahonline]

Your greatest challenge as a Muslim woman isnt to obey your husband; you are not a child who requires disciplining and nor is he your father. Obedience in terms of "do what I say or else Hell is your destination" is a load of hogwash and a brilliant tactic in scaring women into doing what he wants you to do. The husband is not a demi-god. Mind you, if you end up with such a plonk then you're best getting out of there sooner rather than later.



Wholeheartedly agree :up: Sane response.

I dont think there is such a thing as "do what I say or else Hell is your destination". In Islam, women are lifted ffrom being treated like slaves, less than dirt, a punchbag or a prostitute. In Islam, Women are supposed to be treated with respect, spoken to gently, treated with compassion and love, be pampered, not lift a finger in the house, be provided a helper if the husband can afford one. A good muslim husband would always be tolerant,understanding, not ask from his wife more than she can give etc

WHat I was talking about all falls under the boundaries of Islam, meaning the wife should obey her husband as long as her husband is pious, religious and obeys ALLAH.

WHy do we need GIrl Power or a feminist group or public protest or burn our bras for equality when we already have the power as a woman. I dont want to have equality then I would have to carry all the furniture and bags!

ALLAH designed us differently physically, emotionally, mentally.

Men are our protectors, our leaders, and we are leaders in our homes with our children and with our husband's wealth. IF both were to become leaders, who is supposed to lead? There would be chaos everywhere, no peace.. Oh Wait! isnt that whats going on in the world right now?

[Umm 'Umarah]

sister you made a lovely post, it's a great reminder for our married sisters.

A wife must be dutiful to her husband and she must obey him in righteousness.

Our Prophet :saw: said “After fear of Allah a believer gains nothing better for himself than a good wife who obeys him if he gives her a command, pleases him if he looks at her, is true to him if he adjures her to do something, and is sincere towards him regarding her person and his property if he is absent." (at-Tirmidhi)

There is a huge problem with people having their own pre-conceived ideas of obedience... people should know that;

“There is no obedience if it involves sin; obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” (Muslim)

[muslimahonline]

sister you made a lovely post, it's a great reminder for our married sisters.

A wife must be dutiful to her husband and she must obey him in righteousness.

Our Prophet :saw: said “After fear of Allah a believer gains nothing better for himself than a good wife who obeys him if he gives her a command, pleases him if he looks at her, is true to him if he adjures her to do something, and is sincere towards him regarding her person and his property if he is absent." (at-Tirmidhi)

There is a huge problem with people having their own pre-conceived ideas of obedience... people should know that;

“There is no obedience if it involves sin; obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” (Muslim)

ALHAMDULILLAH

Its also a reminder for own self, who is only human, and forgets sometimes..

I hope and hope on the Day Of Judgement, we will be raised as Solehah wives and would be asked to enter HIS Jannah..

I hope....

[neelu]

The important thing for me is to find a good, practising, considerate Muslim husband. I've always said I can be an obedient wife- if by his character and nature he can show that he is worthy of my obedience;)

[muslimahonline]

The important thing for me is to find a good, practising, considerate Muslim husband. I've always said I can be an obedient wife- if by his character and nature he can show that he is worthy of my obedience;)


InshaALLAH sis

[sunrise]

i treat my wife like a queen

because she treats me like a king:coolbro:


truly marriage is about co operation and working together

there should be no power struggles or issues

alhamdulillah ive now been married nearly 15 years:hidban:


it is a challenge of manhood too, a great struggle of patience and working together

it will make you a real man and woman ..

if the marriage is successful the children will benefit
the community will benefit

the world will benefit

inshaallah


:up: alhamdulilah


but manhood why

the prophet pbuh was very much a man and he married successfully alhamdulilah

[Arifa]

Masha'Allah nice advice to married sisters :up:

[ummbilal]

Asalamalikum.

Sorry Bhai but I have also been taught if your husband says "jump you should ask how high". You can debate something with him but at the end of the day the decision is his and if he choses to go against your advice there is nothing you can do about it.

If my husband tells me I can't go out because we have had a disagreement and I have lost my temper with him (shame on me!) then that's it....I CAN'T go out. He is my provider and protector so I must listen to him.

Just as I'd rather not work at all and have children now but financially it's not the best of ideas and so my husband has told me I have to work to help him out...so I work.

He still buys me gifts often, gives me some 'allowance money' to spend on myself, gives me many nice compliments and spends lots of time with me including coming and doing the mundaine food shop with me....so I shouldn't really grumble.


inshaallah it will be easy for you sister and you wont have to work and you can stay home with babies to look after!

[*hayat*]

great reminder,nice advice for married but also unmarried girls to learn from it thanks for starting this thread,

[Abu Mu'adh]

Salaam,

just out of curiosity where were you born & bred?

Mash'Allah nice post.


salam,

My greatest challenge I think is to obey my husband.

We are educated, taught to think, taught to speak our minds and suddenly we are cut off. That is hard. Very hard for me and many women around the world. but after these years, I have also learnt one other thing, we can obey our husbands AND voice our opinions. We just need to do it wisely..

ALLAH has given us the choice. Choose the right path.

What else is hard? Resisting temptations.

Make-up, jewellery, beautiful clothing, expensive furniture, new drapes every year, things we dont need etc

Do we need a chair to sit? if our husbands can afford it why not, but if he cant why do we need chairs?

How many marriages has ended because of money ? one of the weapons of Shaytan. Wives stay home, cook clean, raise the children and expect husbands to come home to pamper them and give them what they want as they think they deserve it. HUsbands go to work 10 hours a day come home expect their wives to attend and pamper them. Wives complaints of not having this and that, not having enough.

If we wives spend wisely and not follow temptations, the income that our husbands bring back would be enough. InshaALLAH. No MC DOnalds or KFC or DOminos. ISnt the responsibility of a husband is to provide shelter, protection, a clean place to live and raise the family, education, food and clothing?

Isnt a small house with 3 bedrooms enough, mattresses to sleep on, food on the floor as we dont need tables to eat, clothing that covers our awrah enough? why do we need to work? to pay for our vacations? To pay for our lipsticks and perfumes, to pay for our gold chains, to pay for the birthday gifts for our friends, that is not even practised by Islam?

Obeying our husband is not degrading, we are not oppressed in fact we are put in a special place where many women don't understand. If we have good husbands who obeys ALLAH, say Thank you ALLAH, ALhamdulillah for giving us responsible husbands who come back late because of working to provide halal income for the family. The least we can do is to give inspirational words, say thank you, pamper our husbands, give our best, have quality time with them, keep the marriage warm till our last breath.

Appreciate your husbands when you have them, no matter how bad you think they are, there is always some good in them, InshaALLAH, wives have the power to mould their husbands if they choose to. DO good to others, others will do good to you.

Obey our husbands, If he says please pick this for me, dont say later, do it straight away, treat him with respect, if he says dont leave the house say OK, ask later. If he says JUMP.. say How High.....

[heaven2002]

a question-

say ur husband orders you to work as financially his wage aint enough
now say u cant find a job within islamic limits
and ur job requires you to mingle with men
then by islam ur allowed to 'disobey' him by not working, is that right?

[Umm 'Umarah]

a question-

say ur husband orders you to work as financially his wage aint enough
now say u cant find a job within islamic limits
and ur job requires you to mingle with men
then by islam ur allowed to 'disobey' him by not working, is that right?


“There is no obedience if it involves sin; obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” (Muslim)

[afsalim]

I dont think there is such a thing as "do what I say or else Hell is your destination". In Islam, women are lifted ffrom being treated like slaves, less than dirt, a punchbag or a prostitute. In Islam, Women are supposed to be treated with respect, spoken to gently, treated with compassion and love, be pampered, not lift a finger in the house, be provided a helper if the husband can afford one. A good muslim husband would always be tolerant,understanding, not ask from his wife more than she can give etc

WHat I was talking about all falls under the boundaries of Islam, meaning the wife should obey her husband as long as her husband is pious, religious and obeys ALLAH.

WHy do we need GIrl Power or a feminist group or public protest or burn our bras for equality when we already have the power as a woman. I dont want to have equality then I would have to carry all the furniture and bags!

ALLAH designed us differently physically, emotionally, mentally.

Men are our protectors, our leaders, and we are leaders in our homes with our children and with our husband's wealth. IF both were to become leaders, who is supposed to lead? There would be chaos everywhere, no peace.. Oh Wait! isnt that whats going on in the world right now?

Sister. I understand your point. But marriages are not a political party to be lead. Rather a cooperative partnership. Mashallah my parents have been married for 40 years and never in my life I have seen my father ordering my mother or my mother blindly following his commands. Both my parents are well educated and they love and treat each other with respect, dignity and equality. No one is superior to the other. If someone takes the leading role, marriages turn into dictatorships, not partnerships. I cannot, in my good conscience treat my wife-to-be as a subservient individual.

[Ebony]

I dont think there is such a thing as "do what I say or else Hell is your destination". In Islam, women are lifted ffrom being treated like slaves, less than dirt, a punchbag or a prostitute. In Islam, Women are supposed to be treated with respect, spoken to gently, treated with compassion and love, be pampered, not lift a finger in the house, be provided a helper if the husband can afford one. A good muslim husband would always be tolerant,understanding, not ask from his wife more than she can give etc

WHat I was talking about all falls under the boundaries of Islam, meaning the wife should obey her husband as long as her husband is pious, religious and obeys ALLAH.

WHy do we need GIrl Power or a feminist group or public protest or burn our bras for equality when we already have the power as a woman. I dont want to have equality then I would have to carry all the furniture and bags!

ALLAH designed us differently physically, emotionally, mentally.

Men are our protectors, our leaders, and we are leaders in our homes with our children and with our husband's wealth. IF both were to become leaders, who is supposed to lead? There would be chaos everywhere, no peace.. Oh Wait! isnt that whats going on in the world right now?

The obedience line of argument always falls back onto "Obey the husband in what he says (so long as its not haram) and he will be your gateway to Heaven". Sorry but he isn't my entry to heaven - and he isn't a demi god nor will he be treated like that.

Being a maintainer doesnt mean that you are "in control" of the other person and therefore he/she must obey you. Being a leader doesnt mean dictatorship - it means consultation, mutual agreement, taking into account the other persons POV and sometimes doing things you dont want to do but are better for both of you. And you can't do that if one is dishing the order and the other is a mute puppet.

I've yet to see this "obedient" kind of r'ship between a husband and wife - because the ones I have seen are based on mutual trust, love and treating one another as an equal in the r'ship, not asking for obedience. If you want obedience then buy a dog and tell it to roll over.

the only sane person on this thread with decent and realistic input is afsalim.

[neelu]

the only sane person on this thread with decent and realistic input is afsalim.

Gee thanks:p

[afrasayab]

i treat my wife like a queen


'she cooks, and I clean'

it rhyms :)
me being goofy

[muslimahonline]

The obedience line of argument always falls back onto "Obey the husband in what he says (so long as its not haram) and he will be your gateway to Heaven". Sorry but he isn't my entry to heaven - and he isn't a demi god nor will he be treated like that.

Being a maintainer doesnt mean that you are "in control" of the other person and therefore he/she must obey you. Being a leader doesnt mean dictatorship - it means consultation, mutual agreement, taking into account the other persons POV and sometimes doing things you dont want to do but are better for both of you. And you can't do that if one is dishing the order and the other is a mute puppet.

I've yet to see this "obedient" kind of r'ship between a husband and wife - because the ones I have seen are based on mutual trust, love and treating one another as an equal in the r'ship, not asking for obedience. If you want obedience then buy a dog and tell it to roll over.

the only sane person on this thread with decent and realistic input is afsalim.

InshaALLAH when you have a family of your own you will understand this point of view.

From Afsalim "I understand your point. But marriages are not a political party to be lead. Rather a cooperative partnership. Mashallah my parents have been married for 40 years and never in my life I have seen my father ordering my mother or my mother blindly following his commands. Both my parents are well educated and they love and treat each other with respect, dignity and equality. No one is superior to the other. If someone takes the leading role, marriages turn into dictatorships, not partnerships. I cannot, in my good conscience treat my wife-to-be as a subservient individual."

Have you ever seen your mother saying No! I will do it later! or Do it yourself !to your father when he requests her to do something for him? I doubt it if there have had a peaceful 40 years of marriage.

This is what I mean by being obedient, Not being Obedient BLINDLY. BUt what do we witness everyday these days? husbands and wives arguing over small matters. just because the wife thinks she shouldnt iron his clothes or the husband thinks she should and demands her to do it. As most of you said here, that marriage is about compromise, tolerance and give and take, What I am saying is that in this world today, women are taking more than giving, and to make a marriage work that shouldnt be. IF we find good husbands that treat us like queens, we shouldnt take advantage of it, instead we should give him more. And husbands also shouldnt take their wives for granted and treat them badly. All I am saying is that I realize that being a muslim woman at this time, my greatest challenge is not to say Sorry Honey, I will do it later, or Now? All I am saying is that our minds have been tuned to become other than a good muslim wife and mother. Re-tuning is not easy and to me that is the greatest challenge. AFter being 100% obedient to my husband, I finally found peace and I feel content with my life. REdha of a husband is very important, and for husbands (men) redha from mothers are very important.

[muslimahonline]

Salaam,

just out of curiosity where were you born & bred?

Mash'Allah nice post.

Malaysia.

[Supernova Nebula]

Malaysia.

heyyy salamu alaykum sister, i'm from Malaysia too:D

[muslimahonline]

heyyy salamu alaykum sister, i'm from Malaysia too:D

Wa'alaikum salam Wrh Wbt, Are you melayu ?

[Supernova Nebula]

Wa'alaikum salam Wrh Wbt, Are you melayu ?

yea:D and u?

[Umm 'Umarah]

The obedience line of argument always falls back onto "Obey the husband in what he says (so long as its not haram) and he will be your gateway to Heaven". Sorry but he isn't my entry to heaven - and he isn't a demi god nor will he be treated like that.

Being a maintainer doesnt mean that you are "in control" of the other person and therefore he/she must obey you. Being a leader doesnt mean dictatorship - it means consultation, mutual agreement, taking into account the other persons POV and sometimes doing things you dont want to do but are better for both of you. And you can't do that if one is dishing the order and the other is a mute puppet.

I've yet to see this "obedient" kind of r'ship between a husband and wife - because the ones I have seen are based on mutual trust, love and treating one another as an equal in the r'ship, not asking for obedience. If you want obedience then buy a dog and tell it to roll over.

What’s the issue here?

Nobody is disputing that marriage is –undoubtedly- a two way thing.

The Qur’an talks of obedience to the husband, and obedient is what we will be as Allah has told us to hear and obey our lord. Allah has given us the perfect example, we have our Prophet Muhammad :saw: and the ummahatul mu’mineen as walking examples of the Qur’an.

"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband)” (An-Nisa:34)

Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Any woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah".
[At-Tirmidhi].

The Qur’an takes precedence over any human opinion, however ‘sane’ the person may come across as being. Anyone with pre-conceived thoughts on obedience influenced by western ideologies should understand that the obedience mentioned in the Qur’an is obedience ordered from Allah.

“It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path” (Al-Ahzaab:36)

[Kal-El]

I guarantee you every Muslim man is greatful he was not born a woman :coolbro:

[Reptile]

I guarantee you every Muslim man is greatful he was not born a woman :coolbro:


the feelings mutual :coolsis:

[ibn suleman]

I guarantee you every Muslim man is greatful he was not born a woman :coolbro:


alhumdulillah :D

the feelings mutual :coolsis:

alhumdulillah :D

[sunrise]

OMG y alhamdulilah:torture::torture:

[ibn suleman]

:eek:

cos everyone should be happy with what they are and not want to be something else... so ALhumdulillah :D

[Reptile]

Although i used wish i was a boy when i was kid, to fit in with my brothers but now not at all :D no offence ofsourse :p

[THE PATH 2]

:up: alhamdulilah


but manhood why

the prophet pbuh was very much a man and he married successfully alhamdulilah

not the asian idea of manhood:rolleyes:

out with the friends or work all the time

feeling it shameful to be seen looking after the kids etc

[Ebony]

What’s the issue here?

Nobody is disputing that marriage is –undoubtedly- a two way thing.

The Qur’an talks of obedience to the husband, and obedient is what we will be as Allah has told us to hear and obey our lord. Allah has given us the perfect example, we have our Prophet Muhammad :saw: and the ummahatul mu’mineen as walking examples of the Qur’an.

"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband)” (An-Nisa:34)

Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Any woman dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah".
[At-Tirmidhi].

The Qur’an takes precedence over any human opinion, however ‘sane’ the person may come across as being. Anyone with pre-conceived thoughts on obedience influenced by western ideologies should understand that the obedience mentioned in the Qur’an is obedience ordered from Allah.

“It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path” (Al-Ahzaab:36)

The Quran does not talk about a wifes obedience to her husband. It states his obligations towards hers and hers towards his, but it does not state that obedience is borne and commanded through these responsibilities. His "maintaining" her isnt done as a favour so in return she "obeys" him. He may be the "leader" of the house but marriage is not a dictatorship and commandeering in a marriage reduces it to that state.

A man may look for an obedient woman but that isn't obedience to him, but rather one who is watchful and is obedient to Allah (swt) and to the Messenger (saw) (Never ever read a hadith without referring to its context - its just wrong and gives an inaccurate interpretation - so these lay people who pluck hadith out of obscurity and say "see this is what it says" ought to re-think their approach). No-one purposely rebels and refuses to do whats asked of them. That's detrimental to any relationship. But to be treated as though you are a child and he is your father denotes the wife's position and status in the marriage to be one that is lower than his (this is a common theme across Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism and Sikhism to name but a few religions/faiths - the "command" that the wife obey the husband)when anyone with an iota of understanding of r'ships knows that this kind of an arrangement isn't conducive at all.

Thats my entire point. But it seems some people are quite happy to play the "yes sir whatever you say i will do" card. You might as well be mute and passive in that case and not question anything he asks you to do since of course "he knows better for you" when infact in some instances he probably doesnt and thats why one is allowed to question the husband (examples of this can be found in instances of the times when the Prophets (saw) wives argued with him)

[muslimahonline]

“There is no obedience if it involves sin; obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” (Muslim)

Absolutely.

If he cant work I think its better for him to get help from his family rather then you working with men. When you say enough, how much is enough? IF he can only afford a tiny apartment then get a small apartment, spend in the limits of his income, it will be enough InshALLAH..

[heaven2002]

[QUOTE=Noor_Usman;1999384]Asalamalikum.

Sorry Bhai but I have also been taught if your husband says "jump you should ask how high".

Just as I'd rather not work at all and have children now but financially it's not the best of ideas and so my husband has told me I have to work to help him out...so I work.

QUOTE]

if ur husband asks you do to something which contradicts islam then u can say no

[Raziel]

[QUOTE=Noor_Usman;1999384]Asalamalikum.

Sorry Bhai but I have also been taught if your husband says "jump you should ask how high".

Just as I'd rather not work at all and have children now but financially it's not the best of ideas and so my husband has told me I have to work to help him out...so I work.

QUOTE]

if ur husband asks you do to something which contradicts islam then u can say no

you still don't Have to work...

it is your choice...

he has no authority to force you or demand that you do, the burden of finances is laid on his shoulders, not yours...

:jkk:

[Tahiyah]

marriage is about cooperation, communication and respect. obedience to husbands does not mean he has the right to even say jump and you say how high

we are obedient to our husbands so that they can can feel appreciated and respected, they are able to fulfill their obligations easier. when you treat them like crap, why should they treat you any better? be nice to him, it makes paying the bills a little easier. treat him bad hes gonna wonder whats the point in killing himself to provide for people who don't appreciate it?

but you dont have to bring him his slippers in your mouth and wait to be patted on the head..:rolleyes:

[Tahiyah]

[QUOTE=heaven2002;2002056]

you still don't Have to work...

it is your choice...

he has no authority to force you or demand that you do, the burden of finances is laid on his shoulders, not yours...

:jkk:


agreed

however, sisters who do not work must realize the difficulties a man faces with finances. its a true jihad trying to provide for a family these days. women have to learn to lower their expectations a little bit. if they want more, they could learn how to make a "halal" living.. it could really help her and him if she chooses to do so.

[ur_yusra]

If my husband told me to jump.. I wouldn't do it. I would probably send him to the nearest psychiatrist.. mind you they probably wouldn't be able to help him.

[Umm 'Umarah]

I don’t recall the sister saying anywhere in her posts that if a husband should ask a women to jump she should say how high…so I don’t know where all this talk of blind obedience and jumping dictatorship and commandment of the husband has come from.

The sister gave some advice on how a women should be patient and be considerate of her husband –which is general ‘sane’ advice. Many ‘realistic’ marriages have problems where women are not satisfied with the husband provisions. The husband does not have sufficient earnings to provide enough for the wife to keep up with the Jones’s.

It’s quite obvious the women should carrying out her duty to ultimately please Allah, that should be the aim of every Muslim on this earth – otherwise deeds will be in vain.

[Ebony]

He must indeed be warped if he tells her to hop on one foot and expects her to comply without question.

Talk about throwing your weight around!:rubeyes:

[Raziel]

[QUOTE=Raziel;2002086]

agreed

however, sisters who do not work must realize the difficulties a man faces with finances. its a true jihad trying to provide for a family these days. women have to learn to lower their expectations a little bit. if they want more, they could learn how to make a "halal" living.. it could really help her and him if she chooses to do so.

I know sis...:o

ditto to that bit in black Highlighted... :outta:

:jkk:

[Raziel]

If my husband told me to jump.. I wouldn't do it. I would probably send him to the nearest psychiatrist.. mind you they probably wouldn't be able to help him.

Why would he tell you to Hop/Jump anyway? :scratch:

Unless he want to play Hopscotch with his wife... :D lol! :outta:

:jkk:

[Raziel]

I don’t recall the sister saying anywhere in her posts that if a husband should ask a women to jump she should say how high…so I don’t know where all this talk of blind obedience and jumping dictatorship and commandment of the husband has come from.

Most likely from Western societies or from Pagans, or a combination, Women weren't treated as Human a Few Hundred years back...

The sister gave some advice on how a women should be patient and be considerate of her husband –which is general ‘sane’ advice. Many ‘realistic’ marriages have problems where women are not satisfied with the husband provisions. The husband does not have sufficient earnings to provide enough for the wife to keep up with the Jones’s.

It’s quite obvious the women should carrying out her duty to ultimately please Allah, that should be the aim of every Muslim on this earth – otherwise deeds will be in vain.

Both the Husband and the Wife should please each other, according to what is Permissible in Islam...

The Husband can Only command according what is Permissible by Allah and his Messenger :saw:, if he says anything to the Contrary to the Sunnah or the Quran, his commands are worthless...

:jkk: sis...

Jones? :scratch:

you mean expenses?

[Umm 'Umarah]

Both the Husband and the Wife should please each other, according to what is Permissible in Islam...

The Husband can Only command according what is Permissible by Allah and his Messenger :saw:, if he says anything to the Contrary to the Sunnah or the Quran, his commands are worthless...

:jkk: sis...

Jones? :scratch:

you mean expenses?

Akhi, Jazak’Allah Khayr for your post, as I mentioned in my initial post and others the wife should obey her husband in righteousness.

“Keeping up with the Joneses” is a western phrase used to describe people who want to be like their neighbour’s and people in society in terms of material gains... sort of like a nowadays example it could be referred to as people in society trying to keep up with the Beckham’s.

[ibn suleman]

A Muslim woman's Greatest Challenge....

to get into jannah.

same as a Muslim man

[Raziel]

Akhi, Jazak’Allah Khayr for your post, as I mentioned in my initial post and others the wife should obey her husband in righteousness.

Ditto Ukhti... :o

“Keeping up with the Joneses” is a western phrase used to describe people who want to be like their neighbour’s and people in society in terms of material gains... sort of like a nowadays example it could be referred to as people in society trying to keep up with the Beckham’s.

Oh!!! those people...

:jkk: for the heads up... :o

[Raziel]

A Muslim woman's Greatest Challenge....

to get into jannah.

same as a Muslim man

another way of puttin it bro...

A Muslim woman's Greatest Challenge....

to Please Allah Subhana Uta'ala, so that he says He is Pleased with them on the Day of Judgment...

same as a Muslim man

:jkk:

[umm umamah]

assalam o aleikum

interesting thread sis!

i hvnt read all of it so if its alrdy been mentioned thn 4giv me..

would you brothers out there (married or nt married) but preferably nt married...wnt ur wives to work once u are married?? i know that u have to consider the financial situation n all that but jus on a general note, would u?? its jus smfin i need to hear from u bros inshaAllah jus to clear my conscious if u like.

[umm umamah]

assalamu alaikum!

interesting thread sis.

i hvnt read it all so if sm1 alrdy mentioned this then do forgive me

i just wanted to ask the brothers out there married or nt married (preferably nt) tht would u wnt ur wives to work once u are married?

i know u gotta consider the financial sitations n all tht but jus on a general note..would u?

it jus nid to hear n answer from u bros jus to clear my conscious if u like.

[Raziel]

assalam o aleikum

interesting thread sis!

i hvnt read all of it so if its alrdy been mentioned thn 4giv me..

would you brothers out there (married or nt married) but preferably nt married...wnt ur wives to work once u are married?? i know that u have to consider the financial situation n all that but jus on a general note, would u?? its jus smfin i need to hear from u bros inshaAllah jus to clear my conscious if u like.

I don't Want her to work, nor does she have to...

if she decides to work in a halal manner, I've got no issues ...

the sisters don't have to work...

the Bro's Have to... they havent got a choice...

:jkk: Ukhti...

[umm umamah]

jazakallah for ur reply bro.

but would you prefer for them to stay at home and look after the house etc. assuming this is before children.

[krystal~sky]

I agree with you but I think you're missing some points. I don't think the biggest challenge for a woman is to obey her husband, but to talk and remain silent in the right times. Men don't really demand that much and all they need is to be encouraged, appreciated, trusted, admired, recognized for their efforts and to be accepted just the way they are. They feel inadequate if their wife tries to advise or improve them. Although the wife's intention is pure love and caring but it's not interpreted that way by her husband. This is the biggest challenge for a woman, to be silent in the times where her husband is trying to do it right, and to talk only when her husband is ready to support her because men are unable do that in the times when they need solitude, when they're sorting things out on their own.

Furthermore, a woman's greatest need isn't luxury or makeup or all the materialistic things that you mentioned. A woman needs to be understood, cared for, respected, reassured, feel like her husband's queen...etc.
It's not enough for a husband to only work and expect his wife to be completely satisfied. And it's ridiculous as well to expect a woman to be cheerful and nice all the time. Women feel overwhelmed sometimes and they need to talk about their problems, and this is healthy and natural and if a woman oppresses her negative feelings she won't be able to relate to her positive feelings either. These dark phases that women go through are inevitable yet temporary. However wives must remember not to blame or accuse their husbands for these negative feelings. And husbands should understand the importance of listening to their wives patiently and keep in mind that they're not being blamed. If they can't listen to their wives at the moment then they should simply admit it and for example say," Give me some time to think about that problem then we will talk about it." He might not have satisfied his wife but at least she'll understand and respect him. At these times a wife should seek her friends' support instead and leave her husband alone for a while. It's a burden on a husband to expect him to give all the love and caring that his wife needs.
The Prophet Muhammad respected such needs. In the Hadith of Abu Zar', Khadija talks and talks and in the end the Prophet reassures her that he will love her like Abu Zar' loved his wife. The Prophet understood Khadeeja's feelings, listened to her patiently and finally reassured her of his love. What an amazing example the Prophet sets for Muslim husbands.

I never saw marriage as a power struggle. I believe that arguing is the most destructive factor in marriage, and spouses should avoid or end arguments before they even start. It doesn't mean ignoring problems in marriage, but to address these problems to the spouse respectfully .In my opiniona married couple should work on solving their problems and not attacking each other.
Only when a spouse feels satisfied they'll be able (and automatically subhanallah) to give all the love and satisfaction that their partner needs.

[heaven2002]

^^^^ has someone been readin men are from mars and women are from venus? :)

[krystal~sky]

^^^^ has someone been readin men are from mars and women are from venus? :)

Yes yes, but I've already admitted that in another thread :inlove: I love that book.

[krystal~sky]

however, sisters who do not work must realize the difficulties a man faces with finances. its a true jihad trying to provide for a family these days. women have to learn to lower their expectations a little bit. if they want more, they could learn how to make a "halal" living.. it could really help her and him if she chooses to do so.
Well said, jazaki Allah khair.

[Raziel]

jazakallah for ur reply bro.

but would you prefer for them to stay at home and look after the house etc. assuming this is before children.

I would, because it would prevent her and protect her from many Evils and fitna ...

:jkk: sis...

[NailaC]

I am new here and not sure how to use the "quotes" function so please bear with me.

Kamilah*: "I don’t recall the sister saying anywhere in her posts that if a husband should ask a women to jump she should say how high…so I don’t know where all this talk of blind obedience and jumping dictatorship and commandment of the husband has come from."




Obey our husbands, If he says please pick this for me, dont say later, do it straight away, treat him with respect, if he says dont leave the house say OK, ask later. If he says JUMP.. say How High.....

This was written towards the end of the very first post in this thread, so it has indeed been mentioned - even if it isn't easy to keep up with everything that's been said in this lengthy conversation.

[krystal~sky]

I would, because it would prevent her and protect her from many Evils and fitna ...

:jkk: sis...

I agree that a wife shouldn't work if her husband doesn't want her too, but honestly when it comes to fitna I don't think women are that vulnerable.For example, I disagree with people who see that a girl can't go to college because it's mixed. I think people should have better instincts for their daughters or wives and let them out for education. A woman can be strong and smart to realize the evils and the goods out there. If a mixed college is "fitna" for a woman then it is for men too. It depends on a person's deen and taqwa to fight evils, not gender.

[umm umamah]

It depends on a person's deen and taqwa to fight evils, not gender.

well said sis :)

[Umm 'Umarah]

This was written towards the end of the very first post in this thread, so it has indeed been mentioned - even if it isn't easy to keep up with everything that's been said in this lengthy conversation.

Well done for pointing it out to me...

The sister didn't mean it literally... she was being figurative, sister's on this forum have the sense to know when to take something literally and when not to.

[aisha2007]

[QUOTE=heaven2002;2002056]

you still don't Have to work...

it is your choice...

he has no authority to force you or demand that you do, the burden of finances is laid on his shoulders, not yours...

:jkk:

But that is the whole point.
If you love and respect your husband and see he is struggling with financial burden and worry and you are capable to go out to work...then why wouldn't you????
This is a completely selfish comment. 'the burden is his'....why should it be? Allah gave you two hands, two feet and a brain, help your husband now, and who knows what rewards you will receive.
Yes it's easy to sit at home isn't it? Take a couple of hours everyday to clean and cook, then spend the rest of it reading or pottering around the garden while your husband is breaking his back. Subhanallah......it drives me crazy when I listen to some sisters....they complain they don't have equal rights then others complain because they don't see why they should go to work.
YOU ARE MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS HALF OF YOUR DHEEN. YOU ARE MARRIED BECAUSE YOU ARE THE OTHER HALF OF A PAIR.
A PAIR =TWO
So behave that way. How much more would your husband love you even if you had a part-time job that only paid for a utility bill????? If you have kids well, that's different, but if you don't have kids yet, go to work, help the man you love.

[aisha2007]

assalamu alaikum!

interesting thread sis.

i hvnt read it all so if sm1 alrdy mentioned this then do forgive me

i just wanted to ask the brothers out there married or nt married (preferably nt) tht would u wnt ur wives to work once u are married?

i know u gotta consider the financial sitations n all tht but jus on a general note..would u?

it jus nid to hear n answer from u bros jus to clear my conscious if u like.

Why would you need to hear from a brother to clear your conscience sis?
Alhamdulillah I am a married woman, we have no children as yet, and I go out to work. My husband is more than happy with that. I contribute to the household economy, I also attend masjid, give talks to sisters who are looking to revert, and manage my household. I attend classes on saturday and sunday and am halfway through a degree in Islamic Studies.
You don't need to clear your conscience, everything you do is judged only by Allah subhanawat'Allah, and if you keep everything within the boundaries of Islam, and follow the Sunnah and Hadith and your husband is happy with what you are doing, go ahead as you have been.
My husband sees me as a well rounded INDIVIDUAL, who happens to be his wife. We have lots to talk about when we are together, which means our relationship is always fresh and we are both learning from each other. When you are married, you are still you. You have to remember that your husband married you for the person you were then, don't lose sight of that person.
Insha Allah you both know what works for you and your relationship.
I pray Allah blesses all of our unions, and gives us all as an Ummah strength, tolerance and patience. Ameen.

[Ebony]

People keep emphasising that a womans role is to raise her children and manage the household. That may be her primary role as she is the most suitable carer for her children, but that doesnt not mean that is her only role in life. And if you dont have children, then my mind boggles at what some women do home all day. There's only so much cleaning, cooking and ironing to do. Studying you could do, but that also doesnt take the whole day.

[heaven2002]

[QUOTE=Raziel;2002086]

But that is the whole point.
If you love and respect your husband and see he is struggling with financial burden and worry and you are capable to go out to work...then why wouldn't you????
This is a completely selfish comment. 'the burden is his'....why should it be? Allah gave you two hands, two feet and a brain, help your husband now, and who knows what rewards you will receive.
Yes it's easy to sit at home isn't it? Take a couple of hours everyday to clean and cook, then spend the rest of it reading or pottering around the garden while your husband is breaking his back. Subhanallah......it drives me crazy when I listen to some sisters....they complain they don't have equal rights then others complain because they don't see why they should go to work.
YOU ARE MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS HALF OF YOUR DHEEN. YOU ARE MARRIED BECAUSE YOU ARE THE OTHER HALF OF A PAIR.
A PAIR =TWO
So behave that way. How much more would your husband love you even if you had a part-time job that only paid for a utility bill????? If you have kids well, that's different, but if you don't have kids yet, go to work, help the man you love.

that wasnt my quote so stop shouting at me

[heaven2002]

if a woman has to work to help her husband with finanaces then as long as its halal work then its ok
but if hes sending her into a harram environment then he will be accountable

[munyeka]

Sallams all

Ive been reading some of the stuff of here and WOAH there are some mixed views....
I think many sisters, maybe in thier attempts to be good wives/potential wives are giving in to to some of thier rights as Muslim women.

In essence a married muslim womans duty is undoubtedly to her husband, for if any human were to be commanded to bow to another humna, a wife would be commanded to bow to her husband, masahallah. Thats the greatness of her husband. Any in obeying him is the pleasure of Allah, Inshallah.

However, if my husband is wrong in issues, I would not blindly let him go ahead with it. I have a brain alhumdollilah, and Allah has blessed me with knowledge. My duty is to use my capabailities to inshallah work towards a good marriage, even if it at time it means, guiding, helping and disagreeing with my husband. That is the beauty of marriage.

A woman is not told to blindly follow her husband in everything, be it right and wrong. We women are made women to bring out the best in our men, and masahallah that is the greatest GIFT of a woman. The greatest challenge is pleasing Allah, and in pleasing her husband a woman attains Allahs pleasure.

And lest you forget, the mercy and the love that Allah places between the hearts of spouses is a sign of Allahs existence. If the intention is correct and sincere, no doubt the help of Allah is never far behind!

Marraige is two way interaction process, a little bit of give and take. Its up to both husband and wife equally to make the marriage workk, not for sisters to work at alll day long with little contribution from the brothers.

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings of our Lord. Cherish it, and protect it, and give it you all, be you a husband or a wife. At the end of the day, fear Allah for you will be acountable for your actions! :inlove:

[aisha2007]

[QUOTE=aisha2007;2007792]

that wasnt my quote so stop shouting at me

I'm not shouting sister....I rarely raise my voice, I use capital letters to stress a point not to shout.

[aisha2007]

Sallams all

Ive been reading some of the stuff of here and WOAH there are some mixed views....
I think many sisters, maybe in thier attempts to be good wives/potential wives are giving in to to some of thier rights as Muslim women.

In essence a married muslim womans duty is undoubtedly to her husband, for if any human were to be commanded to bow to another humna, a wife would be commanded to bow to her husband, masahallah. Thats the greatness of her husband. Any in obeying him is the pleasure of Allah, Inshallah.

However, if my husband is wrong in issues, I would not blindly let him go ahead with it. I have a brain alhumdollilah, and Allah has blessed me with knowledge. My duty is to use my capabailities to inshallah work towards a good marriage, even if it at time it means, guiding, helping and disagreeing with my husband. That is the beauty of marriage.

A woman is not told to blindly follow her husband in everything, be it right and wrong. We women are made women to bring out the best in our men, and masahallah that is the greatest GIFT of a woman. The greatest challenge is pleasing Allah, and in pleasing her husband a woman attains Allahs pleasure.

And lest you forget, the mercy and the love that Allah places between the hearts of spouses is a sign of Allahs existence. If the intention is correct and sincere, no doubt the help of Allah is never far behind!

Marraige is two way interaction process, a little bit of give and take. Its up to both husband and wife equally to make the marriage workk, not for sisters to work at alll day long with little contribution from the brothers.

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings of our Lord. Cherish it, and protect it, and give it you all, be you a husband or a wife. At the end of the day, fear Allah for you will be acountable for your actions! :inlove:


:up:

[heaven2002]

QUOTE]

if ur husband asks you do to something which contradicts islam then u can say no


i said this

then raziel edited it with this

[QUOTE=heaven2002;2002056]

you still don't Have to work...

it is your choice...

he has no authority to force you or demand that you do, the burden of finances is laid on his shoulders, not yours...

:jkk:

[QUOTE=Raziel;2002086]

But that is the whole point.
If you love and respect your husband and see he is struggling with financial burden and worry and you are capable to go out to work...then why wouldn't you????
This is a completely selfish comment. 'the burden is his'....why should it be? .

we were talking about a husband commanding his wife into harram environment to work. and actually in islam the 'burden' of finance is at the mans feet as hadiths from the prophet SAW show. islamically a man has to provide shelter, clothing and food, its not something a wife is responsible for. thats the point we were making
obviously if the wife wants diamonds etc then thats a different story
but the finance for the basics lies with the husband, as the woman wil be the main carer for the children.
if a women doesnt have kids and can work in a halal environment which wont sacrifice her hijab or her prayers or other religious duties then thats fine. but if her husband commands her to work in a haraam environment as she cant find work in a halal , or if her kids are then neglected or her prayers, then basically he will also be responsible, as in a hadith the prophet SAW says a man is the shephard of his wife and children, he is responsible for them.
so the financial burden in islam is layed at the husbands feet for the basics that he has to provide to his wife and children.

[krystal~sky]

Thank you munyeka:up:
Jazaki Allah khair.

[Abu Mu'adh]

Malaysia.

I thought as much you wern't from the UK, it's very difficult to find a girl from here with your line of thinking.

[THE PATH 2]

i treat my wife like a queen

because she treats me like a king:coolbro:


truly marriage is about co operation and working together

there should be no power struggles or issues

alhamdulillah ive now been married nearly 15 years:hidban:


it is a challenge of manhood too, a great struggle of patience and working together

it will make you a real man and woman ..

if the marriage is successful the children will benefit
the community will benefit

the world will benefit

inshaallah

:coolsis::nerdbro: