Losing my faith? Was it ever there to start with...?

[TroubledTwenty]

When I was 17 I converted to Islam having been brought up with no real religion or concept of spirituality. I wasn't however as enthusiastic as I ought to have been, and I have never really felt it in my heart, although I think I do believe in God. I feel i have never really connected with Islam the way i wanted to, and as i am not a spiritual person ^at all^ i find it hard to talk about my feelings towards God and the Hereafter and such.

At the time of my conversion my sister had just converted so i was probably influenced by that, although she has just recently split from her husband and has stopped wearing hijab or being a muslim at all. It has been a long time since i prayed :confused: Im finding myself thinking of all the freedom i would have if i didnt wear hijab, like going swimming or just enjoying the sunshine, as i currently dread the summer and cant stand the heat because of my hijab.

My husband and I dont really socalise with many other muslims at the moment so i dont see many good muslim role models, although i also dont really want to IYSWIM, as I would feel like a fraud and an outsider. I feel an inner force is repelling me from all things islamic, like even hearing my father in law saying dua (oh just wondering, is he even supposed to say it out loud to himself? he does it like all the time and it drives me nuts!! i thought i read somewhere that u should say it in your head?)

I feel like a failure in that if i stop wearing hijab etc all my friends and family will question my integrity, and other muslims wouldn't take me seriously when interacting with them. But at the same time i feel like such a fraud and a fake when i put it on each day, as on the outside i look muslim but inside.. well inside is very confused. I think the issue is deeper than whether i want to wear hijab or not.. but i'm afraid of facing up to the real tough possibly life-changing questions that lie within.

I dont know why I'm posting here really, I know you're going to say go to the mosque, read the quran, pray and it will get better, but at the moment i dont actually want to be muslim anymore so I doubt i will do any of those things!

[Unregistered123]

Try answering this Q, what's your purpose in life?

[RaNdOm]

:salams

but ur here now, doesnt that mean theres a part within in u that knows its the truth and wants to follow the truth?

O mankind! Verily, the Promise of Allaah is true. So let not this present life deceive you, and let not the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allaah [Quran - Faatir 35:5]

from the moment u stepped onto the path of guidance u were a target for the shaytan, cos thats his goal in life to stop u believing, send u astray and try his hardest to make sure ur end will be as doomful as his...

“Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his Hizb (followers) that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire [Quran - Faatir 35:6]

(Iblees) said: ‘Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path.

Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You) [Quran - al-A’raaf 7:16-17]

he's out there to get u at every opportunity, that inner force u feel repellin within u..... he doesnt wanna give up until hes ruined u somehow, but in the Quran Allah warns us to protect ourselves from him

“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al Fahshaa’ , and Al Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)] [Quran - al-Noor 24:21]

“And if an evil whisper from Shaytaan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allaah. Verily, He is the All Hearer, the All Knower [Quran - Fussilat 41:36]

"He (the Shaytaan) makes promises to them, and arouses in them false desires; and Shaytaan’s promises are nothing but deceptions." [Quran - al-Nisaa’ 4:120]

shaytaans the chief deceiver, and do u really want to allow urself to fall into his traps so that he can bring u away from the truth and make ur end as miserable as his...

And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine [Quran - al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

we're told that no matter what difficulty u might face, theres a way out every time as long as u fear Allah and keep ur duty to Him, so when u face a test that weakens u, as long as u keep worshipping inshaAllah Allah swt will make it easy for u...


hmmmmmmm it seems like ur conversion was kinda rushed with ur sisters... but now u have been given that chance to excel and become independant of her and just cos ur sis chooses to follow that path doesnt mean u have to too... shouldn't a strength be aroused inside u, making u determined to stick to the truth even moreso, when people around u are findin it more difficult and slipping...?

hmmmm u know ur right about the praying.. cos it really WILL help u so much...

“O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him, and speak (always) the truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and will forgive you your sins. And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed achieved a great achievement (i.e., he will be saved from the Hell-fire and made to enter Paradise).” [Quran - al-Ahzaab 33:70-71]

when ur praying the first Surah u begin with is Surah Al-Fatiha, and in that ur saying:

The Opening - Al-Fatiha

1:1 In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful:
Bismillāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm
1:2 Praise be to God, the Lord of the Universe.
Al ḥamdu lillāhi rabbi l-'ālamīn
1:3 The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Ar raḥmāni r-raḥīm
1:4 King of the Day of Judgement.
Maliki yawmi d-din
1:5 You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help
Iyyāka na'budu wa iyyāka nasta'īn
1:6Guide us to the straight way;
Ihdinā ṣ-ṣirāṭ al mustaqim
1:7 The way of those whom you have blessed, not of those who have deserved anger, nor of those who stray.
Ṣirāṭ al-laḏīna an'amta 'alayhim ġayril maġḍūbi 'alayhim walāḍ ḍāllīn

ur asking for God's help, asking Him to guide u on the straight way, prayer will help u see things clearer, and we know that giving up prayer has such an impact on a persons imaan, so is it that strange that these kinda thoughts have started entering ur mind when uve given up sumt that keeps ur faith so strong usually...

we know that our hearts are fickle...

“The likeness of the heart is that of a feather in an empty plot of land, being blown over and over by the wind.” (Reported by Ibn Abi ‘Aasim in Kitaab al-Sunnah. No. 227. Its isnaad is saheeh, see Zilaal al-Jannah fi Takhreej al-Sunnah by al-Albaani, 1/102).

“The heart of the son of Adam changes more quickly than a pan of rapidly boiling water.” (Ibid., no. 226. Its isnaad is saheeh: Zilaal al-Jannah, 1/102)

n the prophet :saw: said

“The hearts of the children of Adam are as one between the fingers of the Most Merciful, and He turns them in whatever way He wills.” Then he said: “O Allaah, Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to obey You.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 2654).

so u have to ask God to direct ur heart to obey him... bein muslim aint easy, cos ur makin sacrifices against ur desires but thats all to earn the rewards of the true home in our hereafter...

“Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allaah’s Reminder (this Qur’aan), and that which has been revealed of the truth, lest they become as those who received the Scripture before (i.e., Jews and Christians), and the term was prolonged for them and so their hearts were hardened? And many of them were faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah).” [Quran - al-Hadeed 57:16].

Beautified for men is the love of things they covet: women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world’s life, but Allaah has the excellent return (Paradise).” [Quran - Aal ‘Imraan 3:14].

ur faith needs constant renewal and it's God u have to turn to ask Him to help u and guide u inshaAllah...

“Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.” (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak, 1/4; see also al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 1585. Al-Haythami said in Majma’ al-Zawaa’id, 1/52, “It was reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and its isnaad is saheeh.”)

theres always gonna be times that u feel stronger and weaker in ur faith, and once u taste the sweetness of imaan u'll wanna do everything u can in ur weaker times to help it return to bein strong in ur faith, the heart of a believer sometimes goes dark because its so overwhelmed by sin..

“There is no heart that is not covered by a cloud like the cloud covering the moon when it is shining, and so it suddenly goes dark, but when it (the cloud) goes away, it shines again.” (Reported by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah, 2/196; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 2268). 'Sometimes the moon is covered by clouds, which conceal its light, but after a little while they go away, and the light of the moon comes back to light up the sky. In the same way, the heart of the believer is sometimes covered with dark clouds of sin, so its light is veiled, and the person finds himself lost in darkness, but when he strives to increase his eemaan and seeks the help of Allaah, that cloud goes away, and the light comes back to shine in his heart as before.'

and u mentioned that u dont really socialise with muslims but the prophet :saw: said

Stay with the jamaa’ah (main body) of the Muslims. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The hand of Allaah is with the jamaa’ah.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2167) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

And he said: “You must stay with the jamaa’ah, for the wolf eats the sheep that wanders off alone.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 847 and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.

And he said: “The Shaytaan is with one, but he is further away from two.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2165; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

u automatically become an easier target for the shaytaan when u dont really spend much time with the muslims, i feel it aswell, when i'm with loadsa muslims and we're all together, prayin, strivin to reach the same goal in the hereafter... i can feel my emaan auto on a high alhamdulillah and i feel so :inlove: inside :D

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Worship and obedience illuminate the heart and make it strong and steadfast, until it becomes like a clear mirror, shining with light. When the Shaytaan draws close, he is struck by its light like those who try to eavesdrop (in the heavens) are struck by the shooting stars, and the Shaytaan flees from this heart with more terror than a wolf fleeing from a lion. End quote.

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 64

and honestly honestly honestly reading the Quran will help u so much...

“And We send down from the Qur’aan that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe…” [Quran - al-Isra’ 17:82].

“ … Allaah sets forth parables for mankind in order that they may remember” [Quran - Ibraaheem 14:25] and

“… Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect.” [Quran - al-Hashr 59:21].

when u sit and contemplate on all the ayahs of the Quran, it'll bring ease to ur heart "...Verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest." [Quran - al-Ra'd 13:28] and help u see things much much more clearly inshaAllah, it's a source of comfort, a guidance and a reminder for all of us

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) summed up what the Muslim has to do to remedy the hardness of his heart with the Qur’aan. He said: “There are two main things you have to do. The first is to move your heart from dwelling on the things of this world and move it to dwell on the Hereafter, then focus all your heart on the Qur’aan and ponder its meanings and why it was revealed. Try to understand something from every aayah and apply it to the disease of your heart. These aayaat were revealed (to treat) the disease of the heart, so you will be healed, by the permission of Allaah.”

“… It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allaah…” [Quran - Faatir 35:28].

if mankind ever saw the torment we'd have to face for disbelieving the thought wouldn't ever even cross our minds, all our actions have a consequence and it's left up to us to make sure the consequences are good :up:...

‘If you could but see when they will be held over the (Hell) Fire! They will say: “Would that we were but sent back (to the world)!…”’ [Quran - al-An’aam 6:27]

Allah swt gave u the opportunity to be part of that end and it's Him we need to submit to and seek repentance for all our wrongdoings cos..

"O mankind! It is you who stand in need of Allaah, but Allaah is Rich (Free of all wants and needs), Worthy of all praise." [Quran - Faatir 35:15]

we know that this life has been beautified and so many people get fooled by the glitter surrounding it, none of it is true happiness...

“… The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).” [Quran - Aal ‘Imraan 3:185].

‘… (it will be) as if they had not stayed (in the life of this world) but an hour of a day…’ [Quran - Yoonus 10:45]

This world is so nothing! and shaytan will constantly keep at u to sell ur soul to the life of this world at the price of everlasting happiness in the hereafter..

“Verily, the home of the Hereafter that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew”[Quran - al-‘Ankaboot 29:64]

inshaAllah after all ur struggles and efforts, u'll be able to enter the place of true happiness where

“A caller will cry out (i.e., to the people of Paradise): ‘You will be healthy and will never fall sick; you will live and will never die; you will remain young and will never grow old; you will feel ease and will never be miserable.’ This is what Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And it will be cried out to them: This is the Paradise which you have inherited for what you used to do’ [Quran - al-A’raaf 7:43]. (Narrated by Muslim, 2827) :love: :inlove:

we need to make sure we really do things so that we'll be able to earn the reward of paradise, and we need to repent to Allah swt for all the bad we have done and ask Him to guide us,

“And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islam)” [Quran - al-Zumar 39:54]

but don't ever think ur efforts are gonna be worth nothing cos shaytaans gonna try and fool u into thinking that...

As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths [Quran - al-‘Ankaboot 29:69]

u gotta stay strong inshaAllah and make sure that whatever you do, u don’t lose hope...

But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah's Way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves [3:146]

and that no matter how hard u try nothing ever happens, u need to make sincere duah to Allah, ask Him to guide u, and to help u inshaAllah

“And when My servants ask you concerning Me, (tell them)[I]I am indeed near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls” (Qur’an 21:187).

Surely, Allah's Mercy is [ever] near unto the good-doers [7:56]


:love: Verily, your Walî (Protector or Helper) is Allâh, His Messenger, and the believers, - those who perform As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), and give Zakât, and they bow down (submit themselves with obedience to Allâh in prayer). [5:55] :love:

[asifm]

When I was 17 I converted to Islam having been brought up with no real religion or concept of spirituality. I wasn't however as enthusiastic as I ought to have been, and I have never really felt it in my heart, although I think I do believe in God. I feel i have never really connected with Islam the way i wanted to, and as i am not a spiritual person ^at all^ i find it hard to talk about my feelings towards God and the Hereafter and such.

At the time of my conversion my sister had just converted so i was probably influenced by that, although she has just recently split from her husband and has stopped wearing hijab or being a muslim at all. It has been a long time since i prayed :confused: Im finding myself thinking of all the freedom i would have if i didnt wear hijab, like going swimming or just enjoying the sunshine, as i currently dread the summer and cant stand the heat because of my hijab.

My husband and I dont really socalise with many other muslims at the moment so i dont see many good muslim role models, although i also dont really want to IYSWIM, as I would feel like a fraud and an outsider. I feel an inner force is repelling me from all things islamic, like even hearing my father in law saying dua (oh just wondering, is he even supposed to say it out loud to himself? he does it like all the time and it drives me nuts!! i thought i read somewhere that u should say it in your head?)

I feel like a failure in that if i stop wearing hijab etc all my friends and family will question my integrity, and other muslims wouldn't take me seriously when interacting with them. But at the same time i feel like such a fraud and a fake when i put it on each day, as on the outside i look muslim but inside.. well inside is very confused. I think the issue is deeper than whether i want to wear hijab or not.. but i'm afraid of facing up to the real tough possibly life-changing questions that lie within.

I dont know why I'm posting here really, I know you're going to say go to the mosque, read the quran, pray and it will get better, but at the moment i dont actually want to be muslim anymore so I doubt i will do any of those things!

The fact that you have come on an Islamic Forum to share your thoughts, shows to me that there is some faith still inside you.

Believe me, there is not a bigger hypocrite on this earth like me, and me advising you here is just making me sick but I just felt that I shud say a few things.

I am a very bad muslim myself, miss my prayers and get lazy, go out with mates and have fun etc. But I always have hope and fear of Allah in my heart and I fear the day when I will meet God on the day of judgement particularly when I reflect on death and the punishment of the grave when I sleep at night. But I also have hope that He is the Oft-Forgiving Ever Merciful. We really do have a merciful Lord, honestly!

In a famous tradition, God Most High says
'O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you.'

And God also says: "I am to my servant as he expects of Me, I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly better than his..."

In regards to your Hijab, God commands humans to dress modestly so whether you take the hijab off or not, as long as you dress modestly then its fine. Maybe in time, you will realise the hikmah (wisdom) of wearing hijab but you don't see it yet. Having said that, your inner state is more important than the outward although both compliment one another. Have a good opinion of Allah and try to have a balance of hope and fear. You shouldn't worry what people will think of you......Honestly, I used to pray 5 times a day and regularly at the mosque but now I stopped going and become lazy and ocassionally go there to pray. And I get stared at and even some mates who pray at the mosque humiliate me and say where have you been etc etc and I feel really bad. But we shudn't let these things get to us. God is Most Forgiving and He wants to forgive us. God made us weak so we can make mistakes, so that we can turn to Him and that He can in turn, turn to us and forgive us. This is why we were created so the attribute of Mercy of Allah SWT could be manifest! Otherwise how could God show us that He has mercy?

So even if you do decide to take off your hijab, please don't lose faith in Allah. We are all weak and believe me when I say this, I am soooo very weak and I often cry to myself and think why am I such a hypocrite. But I hope and pray to God, that I leave this dunya on a good note, and that is 'there is no God but Allah, Muhammad is His Messenger'......

I hope I havn't insulted you with my words, and im sorry once again but i felt i shud share these similar thoughts with you.

[Babbage]

When I was 17 I converted to Islam having been brought up with no real religion or concept of spirituality. I wasn't however as enthusiastic as I ought to have been, and I have never really felt it in my heart, although I think I do believe in God. I feel i have never really connected with Islam the way i wanted to, and as i am not a spiritual person ^at all^ i find it hard to talk about my feelings towards God and the Hereafter and such.

At the time of my conversion my sister had just converted so i was probably influenced by that, although she has just recently split from her husband and has stopped wearing hijab or being a muslim at all. It has been a long time since i prayed :confused: Im finding myself thinking of all the freedom i would have if i didnt wear hijab, like going swimming or just enjoying the sunshine, as i currently dread the summer and cant stand the heat because of my hijab.

My husband and I dont really socalise with many other muslims at the moment so i dont see many good muslim role models, although i also dont really want to IYSWIM, as I would feel like a fraud and an outsider. I feel an inner force is repelling me from all things islamic, like even hearing my father in law saying dua (oh just wondering, is he even supposed to say it out loud to himself? he does it like all the time and it drives me nuts!! i thought i read somewhere that u should say it in your head?)

I feel like a failure in that if i stop wearing hijab etc all my friends and family will question my integrity, and other muslims wouldn't take me seriously when interacting with them. But at the same time i feel like such a fraud and a fake when i put it on each day, as on the outside i look muslim but inside.. well inside is very confused. I think the issue is deeper than whether i want to wear hijab or not.. but i'm afraid of facing up to the real tough possibly life-changing questions that lie within.

I dont know why I'm posting here really, I know you're going to say go to the mosque, read the quran, pray and it will get better, but at the moment i dont actually want to be muslim anymore so I doubt i will do any of those things!
Practically speaking:
There may well be women-only- or even muslim women-only- sessions at your local swimming baths. check and see or even organise. There are also these- http://www.ahiida.com/index.php?a=subcats&cat=20 - which are said to be both islamically modest enough to be usable in mixed company and practical swimming wear.
Where in the UK are you suffering from the heat at the moment? A lot of people would like to go there. When- if- it does get hot check around. People wear hijabs in claimates where it's much hotter than it ever gets to be in the UK, so there are probably ways of avoiding the worst effects- most obviously by wearing loose white material.

[Irfan GBH]

To hear of a Muslim ssiter in such a state saddens me very much. I can understand you miss the things you used to do to enjoy yourself, but remember there are many other things you can do to enjoy yourself.

Shaytan is trying his best to keep you off the straight path, the "inner force" repelling you from Islam is your qaareen, the devil that is with you at all times, he's not inside you but outside you. He whispers to, reminding you of your desires and tries to frighten you and make you feel weak. Regardless of how bad it feels sister, you can overcome every test because Allah is merciful and will never give you a test you cannot pass.

I was just looking at this website, sorry it's not something you can do outdoors but definatly something you can look at when your home, I hope it cheers you up :) http://www.anwary-islam.com/medina-pic/index.htm

As for stuff you can do outdoors, I dunno exactly where you are and you said you didn't feel like going to the masjid, but it is a good place to make some good Muslim lady friends who can help you and give you company. I'm sure you'll feel alot better just having some company sis.

You miss things like swimming and sunbathing, etc, more because those things are haraam and your qaareen is focusing on reminding you of those things. Find some other hobbies that aren't haraam. Find a sgregated swimming pool, hang out in your, or a female friends back garden with women only. Sometimes when i feel down there's nothing like some good halal nasheeds and qur'an recitation by a good recitor to cheer me up, might work for you too sis,please do try it :)

Well my post has gotten very long already so I'm afraid you might get tired of reading, Insha'allah I'll type somemore if I think of anything and if you're interested.

Take care sis, may Allah shower you with His Mercy and Blessings and help you overcome your tests.

[TroubledTwenty]

Hi, I actually double posted this in two parts of the forum, as I wasnt sure I would get enough replies in this section. I apologise if this is against forum rules, I hadnt intended to cause any porblems. The other thread can be found here http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131525

Practically speaking:
There may well be women-only- or even muslim women-only- sessions at your local swimming baths. check and see or even organise. There are also these- http://www.ahiida.com/index.php?a=subcats&cat=20 - which are said to be both islamically modest enough to be usable in mixed company and practical swimming wear.
Where in the UK are you suffering from the heat at the moment? A lot of people would like to go there. When- if- it does get hot check around. People wear hijabs in claimates where it's much hotter than it ever gets to be in the UK, so there are probably ways of avoiding the worst effects- most obviously by wearing loose white material.

Lol this summer has been so rainy its unbelievable, I am actually thankful its not hot. I was dreading another summer like last year, it was unbearable for me as I was 7/8 months pregnant in the hottest months. Thank you for your suggestions, i appreciate you taking the time to try to help me. Hoewever I think i need to search deeper than the hijab issue, thats probably just a symptom of how I'm currently feeling if you see what I mean?


The fact that you have come on an Islamic Forum to share your thoughts, shows to me that there is some faith still inside you.

Believe me, there is not a bigger hypocrite on this earth like me, and me advising you here is just making me sick but I just felt that I shud say a few things.

I am a very bad muslim myself, miss my prayers and get lazy, go out with mates and have fun etc. But I always have hope and fear of Allah in my heart and I fear the day when I will meet God on the day of judgement particularly when I reflect on death and the punishment of the grave when I sleep at night. But I also have hope that He is the Oft-Forgiving Ever Merciful. We really do have a merciful Lord, honestly!

In a famous tradition, God Most High says
'O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you.'

And God also says: "I am to my servant as he expects of Me, I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly better than his..."

In regards to your Hijab, God commands humans to dress modestly so whether you take the hijab off or not, as long as you dress modestly then its fine. Maybe in time, you will realise the hikmah (wisdom) of wearing hijab but you don't see it yet. Having said that, your inner state is more important than the outward although both compliment one another. Have a good opinion of Allah and try to have a balance of hope and fear. You shouldn't worry what people will think of you......Honestly, I used to pray 5 times a day and regularly at the mosque but now I stopped going and become lazy and ocassionally go there to pray. And I get stared at and even some mates who pray at the mosque humiliate me and say where have you been etc etc and I feel really bad. But we shudn't let these things get to us. God is Most Forgiving and He wants to forgive us. God made us weak so we can make mistakes, so that we can turn to Him and that He can in turn, turn to us and forgive us. This is why we were created so the attribute of Mercy of Allah SWT could be manifest! Otherwise how could God show us that He has mercy?

So even if you do decide to take off your hijab, please don't lose faith in Allah. We are all weak and believe me when I say this, I am soooo very weak and I often cry to myself and think why am I such a hypocrite. But I hope and pray to God, that I leave this dunya on a good note, and that is 'there is no God but Allah, Muhammad is His Messenger'......

I hope I havn't insulted you with my words, and im sorry once again but i felt i shud share these similar thoughts with you.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I received your PM and will try to write a reply when I have the time. Thanks

[mom2joseph2004]

I've gone through alot of moments of doubt so I know how you feel. It's hard to maintain your faith especially when you're seen as an outsider because of it in your own culture. But try to remember the good and decent things that make up Islam - helping others with Zakat and with kindness, fasting to understand the hardship imposed on others, the true logic of praying to a God who created us and bestows on us everything we have. It helps me when I learn more about Islam, like listening to CD's about the prophets and realizing how entwined Islam is with Christianity and Judaism and how there is this solid record of messengers coming to us, including Moses and Christ and Mohamed who have all tried to convey the same message of faith to us.

I don't know if I'm being helpful at all, but the fact that you're reaching out shows that you still feel some connection with God and your faith. I think if you learned more about Islam, in a forum or mosque that is tolerant and understanding of the culture you're in, you'll be able to reconnect with Islam. It's easy for others to raise arguments not to believe in your faith, but that path won't give you the peace of mind that reaching out to God will. I've had to reach out to God recently to deal with several hardships and choices I've made. By learning more about Islam on my own, I feel like I can connect better with God and filter some of the information that I don't think is right guidance or the true spirit of Islam.

I wish you the best in your quest for answers,

Alex