I want him to leave me alone

[Green light]

AOA

There is this guy where i work who is annoying me to an extent where i am very distracted when in my workplace enviornment. He just keeps staring- another colleague saw this on one occasion and she is a non-Muslim and thankfully i managed to brush it off in front of her - but over the course of the past few weeks he keeps staring - he stops near i work and stares- sometimes i'm worried if others mind find out and you know how some people like to make a big thing out of it.

I'm deeply embarrassed by the situation - i swear i have shown him i am not interested- not in words but by actions. I blank him whenever i walk past- he tries to include me in conversations i will give a curt hello if necessary and walk off or listen to my Nasheeds to blank his droning vice.

Yesterday it got to a point where he was staring for about 20 minutes and i didn't know where to look so i ended up looking up and giving him the most annoyed/evil stare imaginable - i'm just so fed up. I don't need this in my life right now- it's not flattering- i find it downright insulting.

Can i please have suggestions as to what i can do? If he said something it'd be easier for me to flatten him down with rejection and he knows im not interested but im just so fed up and tense when he's around. He doesn't work in my team - All praise be to Allah but he's always got some excuse to be ear where i work and i change desks a lot. I'm fed up and sometimes i feel like i could damage him with my hidjaab pin - :(

:jkk:

I want him to leave me alone.

[Eemaan]

sounds like a raat weirdo sorry for your troubles :(



a) let your line manager know immediately. is this flippin nutjob cant keep his googly eyes to himself and doesnt understand your body language twelling him clearly 'im not interested, do one' then you really do need thrid party intervention to speak to him and have him removed from your vicinity

oh and has he verbally experessed an interest in you?

[Zesty]

Hijab stabbing idea sounds fine to me! :mad:
I suggest you tell your senior manager or someone who can have a word with him if he cant seem to understand your blatant "im not interested bozo, get out of my face," looks.
Alternatively, you could always ask him/tell him directly yourself that you dont appreciate being stared at, you find it rude and it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Maybe if you confront him about it he will get embarassed and feel some shame (although im guess maybe not.. if he car stare art you for 20 mins straight- what a weirdo! doesnt he have work to do) :eek3:

[Omar Mukhtar]

not in words but by actions. I blank him whenever i walk past- he tries to include me in conversations i will give a curt hello if necessary and walk off or listen to my Nasheeds to blank his droning vice.

Try telling him by word then.

[bin khalid]

Ask your brothers/cousing to sort him out and have a "word" with him.

[Green Light]

AOA

He hasn’t said it verbally – I think this would be so much easier if he did as I can really express my thoughts on his stupid idiotic behaviour – times I get so annoyed and angry and sometimes I feel wary and I don’t know what’s going to happen next.

I’m also wary of getting the line manager involved – what will I say ‘he keeps staring’? he can deny this as I have already managed to get a work colleague to brush off the incident where he was caught staring by her.

He is a Muslim and he should know better- granted he’s unmarried but if he ever expressed in words what he want I would be there for hours expressing all the negative feelings he has made me have. I’m tired of all this – just really tired.

[myself]

Sister,
It would be advisable if you took employment where there were sisters only, if that is possible. :confused:

It's not allowed for sisters to work in mixed environments, and we see the results from your post. May Allah make your affairs easy for you.

[anonymous007]

GET YOUR BROTHER/FATHER/COUSIN TO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM. only then will he understand.

[Green light]

AOA


:jkk: for the useful replies – I have thought of one of my male relatives getting involved but I think that would turn physical.

The thing is he does not work where I am working- he works in the same building- same floor but not in my department- our department is near the exit as so he would have to use it for the bathroom or going out but he does it all the time.

Wallahi just now he walked past with his friend and I was with a non Muslim and he said hello and I blanked him out and did not return his greeting.

I cannot explain how tired I am – I’m so tired and weary of this mess. I feel bad for taking up people’s time but I don’t see a solution here that’s obvious to me :Insha: there is a solution but I don’t know.

I’m so shy and I cant turn up to him and announce that he should quit being a pervert the thought of him string makes me feel nauseous. At first I brushed it off as some idiotic thing he does to pass his time but it’s just getting to the point where I am tired of this.


There is a brother who works around here and he’s a lovely brother always looked out for me but I kind of thing I shouldn’t tell him? Maybe he can observe and look out for me? Yet I’m saddling him with my problem and that would put him in a tight spot.

Seriously may Allah reward all of you for helping this sister out

[Unregistered123]

well the next time he stares at you, say out loud "excuse me, what are you staring at? it's been like 20 mins now, whats ya problem? that'll teach him a lesson and he'll get the pic if not, stab him wid ur PIN! lol

[Eemaan]

yeah get a fork :D

i jork :p

asking the other bro to get involved to play hero might be a bit dodgy too :smack:

[Zesty]

Personally I think you should just have it out with him. Dont get anyone else involved just yet. Im sure you can be civilised about this inshaAllah. Just ask him politely whats your problem (looll ok more polite than that but you know what i mean) and tell him you dont find him staring at you flattering or anything, if anything it distresses you.
InshaAllah if you talk to him in a polite manner he wont see it as confrontational and might just get the hint.. if he doesnt.. hen get the bro/cousin to have a WORD :D (im not advocating violence here *cough* theres no need for it really).

[`asiya]

I wouldnt get the other brother involved it will may make fitnah then between brothers, but i would blatantly just tell him the ayat of the Quran, that says " and tell the beleiving men to lower their gaze " ( An-Nur 24: 30) and then say in a very firm tone " stop looking at me and fear Allah brother " that should do it, and as the brother above suggested you must find another job, you cannot work with men , and your experience is why men and women working together daily is known as one of the biggest sources of fitnah imaginable, how many marriages are broken up, and how much fornication goes on because of men and women working together in close proximity and getting freindly and starting to "fancy" each other...

i understand some women are alone and have no choice but to go out and work, and of course revert sisters are in an extremely difficult situation when it comes to providing for themselves. However if you are from a born muslim family then you should have an amir, a muslim mahram ukhti.. ur father or an uncle.. someone taking care of you, may Allah send u a pious husband amin, because really you shouldnt be working in a job like this at all and it is the responsability of your mahram/ amir to provide for you, untill you can find a job with women only, if your father is your mahram/amir of your family, then your father will be asked about this, why he let his daughter go out into such fitnah... its no small matter ukhti. may Allah ta ala assist you in all you do amin. :)

[Green light]

asking the other bro to get involved to play hero might be a bit dodgy too :smack:

AOA sister - this is what makes me pull back a little because i don't want a whole staged Muslim hero premiere.

And this would probably occur if i got a male member of my family involved- i just need this guy to express what he thinks then i can give him a piece of my mind. :(

[heaven2002]

tell him that ur going to report him to line manager (even if you dont)
and then look for a another job, it sounds like its too mixed

[Irfan GBH]

I'd say just speak to his or your line manager and ask them to have a private word with him. the manager could easily get the messege through without causing anyone unneccasry embarresment insha'allah.

[cyber_abdullah]

Well get a line manager and yourself to have a meeting with him to discuss this behaviour. I think there can be a harassment case in there somewhere.


AOA


:jkk: for the useful replies – I have thought of one of my male relatives getting involved but I think that would turn physical.

The thing is he does not work where I am working- he works in the same building- same floor but not in my department- our department is near the exit as so he would have to use it for the bathroom or going out but he does it all the time.

Wallahi just now he walked past with his friend and I was with a non Muslim and he said hello and I blanked him out and did not return his greeting.

I cannot explain how tired I am – I’m so tired and weary of this mess. I feel bad for taking up people’s time but I don’t see a solution here that’s obvious to me :Insha: there is a solution but I don’t know.

I’m so shy and I cant turn up to him and announce that he should quit being a pervert the thought of him string makes me feel nauseous. At first I brushed it off as some idiotic thing he does to pass his time but it’s just getting to the point where I am tired of this.


There is a brother who works around here and he’s a lovely brother always looked out for me but I kind of thing I shouldn’t tell him? Maybe he can observe and look out for me? Yet I’m saddling him with my problem and that would put him in a tight spot.

Seriously may Allah reward all of you for helping this sister out

[Abu Ahlam]

To add to some of the other useful suggestions. Find a lady that works with you, one with the biggest mouth, and a whole load of attitude and tell her right in front of him what he’s been doing. It seems like he gets his frills from embarrassing you, so embarrass him. Or ignore him like he doesn’t exist, don’t look at him etc. I know women are really good at making a men feel small.

[RashidD]

I don't think the answer to your problem lies in ridiculing the brother in any way. Perhaps he genuinely is interested in you and is too shy to go about expressing his feelings or making an entry to find out about proposing etc.

That being said, you two having it out might not be the best thing either as i don't like the idea of you two being alone (as if you have it out in public well that could cause ridicule etc) and talking to each other.

Perhaps 3rd party intervention would be good - someone impartial like an imam of the masjid, perhaps set up a meeting between the 3 of you or even just the imam and the brother in order for the imam to advise the brother. Furthermore if the brother is considering marriage then this may give him a chance to propose/ express his true feelings... Which you could then accept or decline.

[perfectpearl]

Whenever he looks, ask him:

Do you need anything?

That way maybe he will realize that you know his looking at you and he will stop.

If that doesnt work, talk to your boss and tell him. I am sure from then on he will be staring the other way.

[Aquarious]

Asalamualikum
Yeah certainly just go up to him when he stares at u for long and say to him why he stares at u for that long and does he have a problem as it is affecting your life. And tell him to stop staring at you ,you would appreciate it.
Just get it out. Gd luk sister

[Destination]

the solution is with you of course, but you need to get some courage, if your very shy then why working, go home and blush to yourself...and if you want yourself protected then stop depending on others, stop thinking about using someone else's shoulders, Allah has given you everything to protect your honour inshaallah..get up, go to him and tell him ****off, shout at him, tell him he's harrassing you, and tell him the sicko to stop staring at you like a pervert or your going to tell the whole world, or your going to tell his family about what he does at his workplace, bluff him that your gonna tell your bros and uncles and pet dogs about him, lol, well im serious, you should have to do something for yourself, like you eat yourself and no one comes to put the food into your mouth.

another way is to be friendly with him, go to him, say salam, and tell him he looks like a brother, and tell him that you are going to marry a nice guy who wouldn't be a pervert and who wouldn't be staring at girls, say that in an innocent and meaningful way, that he would understand what you mean, and if he is so shameless then follow the mehtod number 431 as above.

[Te'oma]

Just get a little card and keep it close by. Write on it, "Stop staring, I'm not interested" or something to that effect. Next time that you catch him looking just hold up the card. The other thing that you can do is just hold up a card with your walli's number on it and let him sort the guy out.

[Abandoned-Mind]

Don't work in a mixed envrionment.

[Abandoned-Mind]

Don't work in a mixed environment. Sincerely seek something better.

May Allaah aid you in the good.

[*hayat*]

by the way are you really sure he likes you?

i think like the people above you said you should just go and speak to him, it would ease your trouble inshallah,

[neelu]

No offence, but I think most of you are trying to tackle this guy from a Western angle when he sounds like a 100% freshie $cumbag. Guys like that always think that you're interested in them; if you're nice and polite they think you love them and are flirting but if you're curt and stern, they think you're shy but deep down you like them (they think real life is like all those bollywood movies where a guy flirts with a girl and she tells him to shut up then turns her back to him and starts giggling :wacko:). I don't care if you're a shy person, obviously your decent manners and shyness are not getting you very far with this perv so your only option is to do something about him. I've had personal experience of these kind of sickos so I know what I'm talking about. Here's what I suggest:

1- The first time you catch him looking, say firmly "stop staring you perv!" which will shock him and he'll try to play all innocent, pretend he wasn't staring and accuse you of being too paranoid but it doesn't matter- just saying it would be a show of strength.

2- If that doesn't deter him, report him to a senior member of staff who you feel comfortable approaching about it. They might only have a polite word with him at first but that's okay- the important thing is that they'd already have it reported that he's harassing you and that allows them more power to act if it continues.

3- If that doesn't deter him, repeat step 1 whenever he looks at you, report him to management again (by this time they'd probably have cctv footage or other staff would keep an eye and notice the same problem so they'd be in a position to take action). By this point, he'd get a more stern warning from senior staff and may even be threatened with getting sacked. This could make him turn hostile and encourage other staff members to turn against you- but someone as sick as that is unlikely to be taken seriously inshallah. He will complain about you to management and make it look like you're paranoid but don't worry about that, you're on the right track.

4- If those steps don't work and staff decide to side with him, then you should tell the other Muslim colleague what's going on.

5- Failing that, do you know if the perv has any family living nearby? If so, some local brothers should pay his home a visit to do his besti in front of his parents and tell them that if they don't keep him in line, they will find their son in the middle of the night tied to a lampost in the freezing rain with no clothes on.

[Abu Nuh AMW]

asalamu'alaikum

yea id recommend the 'poking eyes out' business too. that'll do the job fo sure :D

speak to your mahram, thats what hes there for, your protection, speak to ur brothers and go an threaten ... I mean cautious him :o, 'if you dont keep your eyes down mate then im gonna rip em out and stamp on them.understand?'... yea I tihnk that should do it !

[Khubaib]

Just get a little card and keep it close by. Write on it, "Stop staring, I'm not interested" or something to that effect. Next time that you catch him looking just hold up the card. The other thing that you can do is just hold up a card with your walli's number on it and let him sort the guy out.

This is a good idea! The number might make him think she is interested though. But inshallah stop staring at me will work. He is Muslim but maybe he does not know it is haram. He should be given the benefit of the doubt. Do whatever it takes to get the point across. Don't get your father involved but maybe with a brother or cousin it will not escalate to something physical inshallah. Don't return his stare though, maybe he is really that dense and doesn't get what an evil stare means.

[abu imaan]

As-sallamu 'alaikum

Simple solution.

As he is a muslim, he probably sees you as a "possible wife"

I would definitley involve a male relative. The reason why, if you actually approach the brother yourself, then you have broken the barrier that you have worked so hard to maintain, and the shaytan will try his hardest to try and get you to soften to the brother:

"I'm sorry sister, my intentions were pure"

"I love women who wear Hijaab"

"blah blah blah"

If you can arrange for a responsible male relative to come and advise the brother to "Lower his gaze" then do that. If you can't get a male relative ask a sister you know with a husband who would be willing to help you out!

I have heard cases where people were in a situation and when contact was initiated from one of them, it led to serious consequences with regards to their deen! So I would advise, do not approach a person who cannot respect the fact that you want some form of privacy and modesty in your place of work.

And as has been suggested, talk to your boss if all else fails, as this could be considered sexual harrassment.

wa ALLAHU A'lam

[$i$ter]

Just get a little card and keep it close by. Write on it, "Stop staring, I'm not interested" or something to that effect. Next time that you catch him looking just hold up the card. The other thing that you can do is just hold up a card with your walli's number on it and let him sort the guy out.

LOL!!! ...thats a rely gud i dea!! ...Specialy if your yhe shy type!
...he'll think its ur number, & den wen he calls he'll have a big shock!:up:


Peace!...x

[ummbilal]

sister, If I was in the situation u are in I would confront the guy and ask him to stop, also i'd being looking for a job in a famale enviroment.

bro teomas idea of the card thing is pretty good too,

[Green Light]

I don't think the answer to your problem lies in ridiculing the brother in any way. Perhaps he genuinely is interested in you and is too shy to go about expressing his feelings or making an entry to find out about proposing etc.
Furthermore if the brother is considering marriage then this may give him a chance to propose/ express his true feelings... Which you could then accept or decline.

AOA - the guy isn't practising and he makes disgusting comments for e.g. the female colleague working with me (whose a bit loud) he says stuff like she is the right size for her figure :s and also on fri he said in front of me to that girl that she's showing too much knee. He walks past singing dirty songs at times - 'smack that' - i dont need to know the top 40 to know he isn't talking about a donkey!!

Even if he's interested then he should know that i'm not and that he should back off. I 'tsked' in front of him on fri and i think he got the message but he's a person who forgets easily and he'll most likely start his campaign again on Monday.

I'm going to observe tomorrow and if he does i will most likely flip - the loud girl in my office has gone on hol otherwise she already saw him oogling and she could have had a word with him.

You know when i am there it really affects me - i'm so tense and nervous and fed-up but as one of you said i need to stand up for myself - i'm sure quite a few sisters know that this isn't easy for a girl esp. since the guy hovers over 6 foot and looks menacing. Not that i am afraid of him but if he tries anything i will get some brothers to have a word with him.

I will have a word with him tomorrow :insha: but what should i say- when i see him looking he looks away then he does it again- i look back in his direction with a ferocious menacing scowl and he looks away then walks off only to do the same process again and again. I want to put a poster on top of my PC with the words 'And tell the Believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty' but the kuffar may eat their porkie firends for breakfast and ridicule it. :(

I just need to think of what i need to say to him in an efficient and good manner :jkk:

[Unregistered060]

AOA - the guy isn't practising and he makes disgusting comments for e.g. the female colleague working with me (whose a bit loud) he says stuff like she is the right size for her figure :s and also on fri he said in front of me to that girl that she's showing too much knee. He walks past singing dirty songs at times - 'smack that' - i dont need to know the top 40 to know he isn't talking about a donkey!!

Even if he's interested then he should know that i'm not and that he should back off. I 'tsked' in front of him on fri and i think he got the message but he's a person who forgets easily and he'll most likely start his campaign again on Monday.

I'm going to observe tomorrow and if he does i will most likely flip - the loud girl in my office has gone on hol otherwise she already saw him oogling and she could have had a word with him.



You know when i am there it really affects me - i'm so tense and nervous and fed-up but as one of you said i need to stand up for myself - i'm sure quite a few sisters know that this isn't easy for a girl esp. since the guy hovers over 6 foot and looks menacing. Not that i am afraid of him but if he tries anything i will get some brothers to have a word with him.

I will have a word with him tomorrow :insha: but what should i say- when i see him looking he looks away then he does it again- i look back in his direction with a ferocious menacing scowl and he looks away then walks off only to do the same process again and again. I want to put a poster on top of my PC with the words 'And tell the Believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty' but the kuffar may eat their porkie firends for breakfast and ridicule it. :(

I just need to think of what i need to say to him in an efficient and good manner :jkk:


Salams I can understand your fustration tell him you are no going to end this than you are going to put the sexual harassement case against him. It will get him back to the track if he has even a bit self respect.

[heaven2002]

I just need to think of what i need to say to him in an efficient and good manner :jkk:

guys who are as immature and silly as this dont respond to polite and efficient requests, and he will be pleased that he is getting a reaction from you when u speak to him and everytime u look at him to scowl, its exactly what he wants

the best thing to do is ignore and report him, let someone else , pref his line manager, deal with him

dont give him any kind of reaction, he will soon give up , everytime u give him a reaction , it spurs him onto more of his stupidity

[Abu Nuh AMW]

seriuosly though this sounds seriuos... just get one of your brothers of dad to talk to him. dont let him get the satisfaction of speaking with you.

[me.sawda]

Hijab stabbing idea sounds fine to me! :mad:
I suggest you tell your senior manager or someone who can have a word with him if he cant seem to understand your blatant "im not interested bozo, get out of my face," looks.
Alternatively, you could always ask him/tell him directly yourself that you dont appreciate being stared at, you find it rude and it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Maybe if you confront him about it he will get embarassed and feel some shame (although im guess maybe not.. if he car stare art you for 20 mins straight- what a weirdo! doesnt he have work to do) :eek3:

bozo means what ukhti? it sounds funny:D

[Green Light]

AOA – the good news is that I’ll be finishing my job soon :insha: and so there is not long left but I do not want this guy to carry on with his extreme oogling and put others at unease. I think a harassment case is kind of severe and I do not want the br to get into such big trouble as I can see office incidents do get blown out of proportion as little things such as even two employees fighting gets a massive coverage and people’s reputations are sullied/damaged.

I would like to basically ensure the br never does it again – i was thinking if my dad/uncles collected me from work at times may indicate to him that she has Mahrems and they will intervene if necessary and this may cause him to back off. As I’m generally on my own here and he knows this as there aren’t many Muslimahs here and the ones that are work 10 mins away.

:jkk: for bearing with me – as you guys have been great- All Praise to Allah. Maybe sometimes you might be frustrated with me all I can say is Wallahi it is not easy. A few sisters may know what I am talking about but generally when you cannot look at a brother in the eye for more than 2 seconds then you need a lot of courage to address this issue which shouldn’t even be taking place if it wasn’t for his roving eye. :(

[neelu]

AOA – the good news is that I’ll be finishing my job soon :insha: and so there is not long left but I do not want this guy to carry on with his extreme oogling and put others at unease. I think a harassment case is kind of severe and I do not want the br to get into such big trouble as I can see office incidents do get blown out of proportion as little things such as even two employees fighting gets a massive coverage and people’s reputations are sullied/damaged.

I would like to basically ensure the br never does it again – i was thinking if my dad/uncles collected me from work at times may indicate to him that she has Mahrems and they will intervene if necessary and this may cause him to back off. As I’m generally on my own here and he knows this as there aren’t many Muslimahs here and the ones that are work 10 mins away.

:jkk: for bearing with me – as you guys have been great- All Praise to Allah. Maybe sometimes you might be frustrated with me all I can say is Wallahi it is not easy. A few sisters may know what I am talking about but generally when you cannot look at a brother in the eye for more than 2 seconds then you need a lot of courage to address this issue which shouldn’t even be taking place if it wasn’t for his roving eye. :(

I hope this ignorant perv is not the reason for your job finishing. It is in the nature of sick pervs like this to look away when you catch them looking so that they can pretend to be innocent. You're not imagining the problem and he will not stop if you ignore him. He will not care if there are men in your family picking you up from work unless they confront him VERY sternly. Do your hands have a good aim? If so I suggest EVERY time you catch him looking, throw things at him (careful you don't hit anyone else). Make sure there are some heavy items like paperweights and staplers around you. He might pretend to act innocent and questions would arise as to what you're doing but you can just say that you're sick of him harassing you and your colleague will be able to confirm this when she returns from holidays anyway. He is perving around you PRECISELY BECAUSE you're too nice and respectable to treat him with the contempt he deserves. I cannot believe you're showing so much consideration for him by refusing to report harassment. You say harassment is a severe case issue but this IS a severe case because it is affecting you. Your suggestions (asking uncles to pick you up etc) are TOO SUBTLE and boneheads like that do NOT understand subtlety otherwise he'd have got the message when you gave him evil looks in the first place. Wake up sister, guys like this thrive on your inaction and that gives them enough encouragement to do it again and do worse things (so far he's just looking, next he'll be finding excuses to 'accidentally brush past'). Make sincere dua, inshallah Allah (swt) will give you the ability to stand up to him and he'll get what he deserves.

[Debater]

Well, neelu is right, you are showing so much leniency towards this monkey, you need to teach him a lesson, maybe his next prey is someone more innocent and lenient than you are, maybe he can harm other innocent sisters after you, I believe if someone caused you a mental torture, do something more than that to one so one should be careful to think about that next time. In Urdu we say, eent ka jawab patthar say, I have tried that very recently and trust me, if you react more rigorously than the intensity of any undesirable action, you are not going to see the same thing again because the culprit knows he's going to face severe consequences of what he used to do.

[Debater]

I don't know why our girls still live like bakris (goats), haha, but yeah seriously, they should grow up and defend themselves.

[Ish264u]

Sister I don't know what type of organisation you work for but most now have disciplinary procedures and supervision/appraisal sessions.

If you want the matter to be dealt with as low key as possible and get the offender to back off then I suggest you speak, write or send an email to your line manager and ask him/her to have a quiet word with him. Explain how you feel, how it's invading your personal space. This should be documented in case it's needed.

Maybe in hindsight you should have told your colleague who also noticed him staring rather than brush it away. at least she would have been aware of how you felt and stopped this behaviour earlier?

Anyway good luck and deal with it asap.

[Green Light]

AOA


The good news is he has lessened his campaign against me as he doesn't come past my desk much anymore but i did see him walking behind me today after i came back from lunch ad this unnerved me but :insha: if he ever does anything or stares like he does i will take action.

:jkk: for so many encouraging comments which have really made me see this situation from a new light which is what i required.

As i have been going through my mind 'is it something i've done/encouraged' thus enabling him to seek me out, but there are people like him who will exploit a person's quiet nature to their own ends. All Praise be to Allah we also have our uses and can use other methods if required.

Please keep me in your Duas as i will need them esp. to take any action to put a stop to this leech's ways.

[strict2thasunna]

INsha'Allah make sure your next job doesn't involve free mixing..

[Green Light]

AOA

Good news is that he has left me alone- Alla praise be to Allah

Although i am wary he may start his ugly campaign again but please do keep me in your Duas Insha-Allah!


May Allah reward you all. Ameen!

Your sis
Green light
x

[Tosh]

Without insulting, simplistic or judgemental inshaAllah:

1. Make Dua, ask Allah for help. If you are relying on this work, ask Allah to give you a workplace free from fitnah and then make efforts towards it.

2. Give him nothing to oogle at - Loose Jilbab, Make-up free, non-sparkly hijaab.

3. Your scowl's sound a bit like playing 'hard to get.' Ignoring is better.

4. I think you should write a letter to him, within the knowledge of others, NOT SECRET. Post or get it to him by a friends hand. Short, inshaAllah, explaining the consequences of not lowering the gaze, of the Hell-Fire. Don't make it hateful (which some sickos like), or personal, or horrible, or suggestive. Focus solely on the fact that he stares at you, NOT that he fancies, or anything else that could possibly have been assumed in anyway. This will be better for him whether you stay or not, with regards to how he treats other women as well.

Perhaps you could post a draft up here and we could help you edit.

5. If he persists you have no choice but to involve someone else. The only fact is, he is staring at you, and he shouldn't be. So sort this out.

I am sorry but I do sense some sense of attitude/ego here. Your issue should not be that you reject him, or anything along those lines, or that you feel you can judge easily his level of Islam. Once again, Just solely that he stares, and he shouldn't.

Anyway, may Allah help you and us all against fitnah, and mixing in a wrong way. Ameen.

Allahu Alim. Allah knows best.