Confused, scared, worried...

[alna]

Salam to all brothers & sisters in Islam.

I'm not sure where to start, my life and even myself is so complicated. I used to handle all my problems alone, no one to speak with, ever, and I seldom share my problems with anyone. I don't know if what I'm doing here is correct, but I need to get this off my chest. Sorry if my English is bad, just that it's not my native language.

I'm a female Muslim, 33 years old, single, wearing scarf (fully covered by the way). Recently, I feel a strong urge to wear the full jilbab (the black jilbab that Muslim women always wear anywhere they go). The one that you can only see the hands and the face. Every time I see Muslim women down the road wearing this, I feel so awed; I always think they are all better than me. They are so brave to wear that kind of clothing. Each day, something inside me urges me to change the way I dress, to be a more practical Muslim, not just in the way I dress, but to practically practice Islam as Ad-Deen, which I never got the chance to do so.

At this moment, all I want is to make the 1st step, which is to wear a full jilbab. But the problem is, should I? Am I really ready to wear it? I did try it once, but something happened in my life, that made me returned to my scarf dressing. I do not want the same thing to happen again. I am dying to be a practical Muslim, but here, where I am living; there is no Muslim ummah for women. My heart cries out, how I want so much to be a good Muslimah, but there is no one to teach me and no one to guide me. I am left alone (yes, I know God is here).

I am self-employed, struggling to make ends meet. I intend to take up on a freelance job, where I get to meet a lot of people, but my fear is, can they accept me if I wear full jilbab? My family would be shocked, definitely, but I don't worry about that. I'm only worried about other people's perception, and how it will affect my work. Will people make a deal with a Muslim woman with full jilbab on her body?

I am scared that if I change the way I dress, it would be hard for people to deal with me, especially corporate people. I know, I should not doubt Allah's love, but I have been through this before, and I really don't want the same thing to happen again. I don't ever want to go back to my old self. If something goes wrong, and my fear turns into reality, where will I find the money to survive? No one is going to help me this time.

That's why I am confused, scared, worried... Should I wear the full jilbab now, or should I wait? Please help me. I thank you for all your feedbacks. God bless.

[RaNdOm]

:wswrwb:

mashaAllah :D:D:D:D -"So hasten towards all that is good". (2:148)

lol u remindn me of me not that long ago...


but today it was like i went shoppin and i was lookin at all these clothes and i proper felt kinda suffocated like i wouldnt really be able to wear like what i wanted anymore... and once i start i wanna forever stay one inshaAllah and move on to bigger and better things inshaAllah

but then just made me sad cos i was thnkn about that believer rushin to do good deeds thing, so it must make me like evil to like hesitate... cos like really i should jump at the chance of pleasin Allah swt but instead its like im takin lil lil steps that i dont know are gonna end up where...

and i feel really bad cos this must mean im stuck in a world thats too like indulgent in the temptations of this dunya and wantn to look nice and all that, when really i should be thinkn about ma final destination :(:(:(:(

i kept puttin it off... kept findin excuses, everytime id get close id find sumt was holdin me back at the very peak of the hill... then one fine sunny day was on a high alhamdulillah (emaan wise :p - dont be gettin ideas :nono: lol ) but anyway i was proper feelin ready to start, even tho there was like that lil feelin within me still lurkin about tellin me that i dint need to as long as i was wearin skirts and stuff but then i just thought to maself this is one of those things i really gotta do, and no matter when i approach it, i think those doubts would always be there... so one day i got up and just wore it :D and dint listen to those negative feelins in ma mind and just kept thinking about how when the verse of hijab was revealed the believing women tore their clothes just so they could abide by it... and really thats how we should wanna be inshaAllah :inlove:

As for those who choose the Hereafter as their priority, and work righteousness, while believing, their efforts will be appreciated. [17:19] :inlove:

u know ur only ready when u make urself ready cos shaitaans always gna keep at u to find another 1000 reasons to put u off, but its part of ur own test to overcome that inshaAllah...

about what may happen as a result of it... just remember

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all of it is good, and that applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad befalls him he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).

the consequence of every situation ur ever in will be good for u inshaAllah as long as u put ur trust in Allah and leave ur affairs to Him, altho u might face daily tests, dont let urself become short sighted without thinkin about the benefits long term...

whatever u might worry about just always always remember

"And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way out" [65:02]

"And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him, of his matter ease." [64: 04]

whats to say that what ur worried of wont happen if u dont follow the commands of Allah swt...? and isnt it better that u obey Him and know that ur pleasing Him so that inshaAllah everything that happens will be to ur benefit rather than the chance of it becoming a punishment..?

Anyone who works righteousness, male or female, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense (on the Day of Judgment) for their righteous works. [16:97] :love:

As long as u try ur hardest, and its true that at the beginning u might find urself in difficult situations but...

As for those who strive in Us, We surely guide them to Our paths, and lo! Allah is with the good. [29:69] :inlove:

u've gotta keep urself strong inshaAllah, and know that anythin that comes in ur path is a test from Allah swt, cos it's easy for anyone to decide one day and the next day change their mind and go back to their old ways, but when u strive, its all about fightin those inner desires to try and please ur Lord

But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah's Way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves [3:146]

and alwayssssssssss remember...

:love: Surely, Allah's Mercy is [ever] near unto the good-doers [7:56] :love:

[perfectpearl]

Mashaa Allah sister you have the ambition to wear it. Thats really a great step.
I think you should wear it. It doesnt necessarily have to be black but you can just wear the full piece. Its a lot more covering than many cloths these days.

Just remeber Allah is with you. Dont be scared. Inshaa Allah at work they will accept you.

If your not really sure, make istakra. Pray 2 rakat and ask Allah to guide you. If you feel comfortable than wear it.

May Allah make it easy for you. :up:

[Debater]

:wswrwb:

mashaAllah :D:D:D:D -"So hasten towards all that is good". (2:148)

lol u remindn me of me not that long ago...


i kept puttin it off... kept findin excuses, everytime id get close id find sumt was holdin me back at the very peak of the hill... then one fine sunny day was on a high alhamdulillah (emaan wise :p - dont be gettin ideas :nono: lol ) but anyway i was proper feelin ready to start, even tho there was like that lil feelin within me still lurkin about tellin me that i dint need to as long as i was wearin skirts and stuff but then i just thought to maself this is one of those things i really gotta do, and no matter when i approach it, i think those doubts would always be there... so one day i got up and just wore it :D and dint listen to those negative feelins in ma mind and just kept thinking about how when the verse of hijab was revealed the believing women tore their clothes just so they could abide by it... and really thats how we should wanna be inshaAllah :inlove:

As for those who choose the Hereafter as their priority, and work righteousness, while believing, their efforts will be appreciated. [17:19] :inlove:

u know ur only ready when u make urself ready cos shaitaans always gna keep at u to find another 1000 reasons to put u off, but its part of ur own test to overcome that inshaAllah...

about what may happen as a result of it... just remember

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all of it is good, and that applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad befalls him he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).

the consequence of every situation ur ever in will be good for u inshaAllah as long as u put ur trust in Allah and leave ur affairs to Him, altho u might face daily tests, dont let urself become short sighted without thinkin about the benefits long term...

whatever u might worry about just always always remember

"And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him a way out" [65:02]

"And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him, of his matter ease." [64: 04]

whats to say that what ur worried of wont happen if u dont follow the commands of Allah swt...? and isnt it better that u obey Him and know that ur pleasing Him so that inshaAllah everything that happens will be to ur benefit rather than the chance of it becoming a punishment..?

Anyone who works righteousness, male or female, while believing, we will surely grant them a happy life in this world, and we will surely pay them their full recompense (on the Day of Judgment) for their righteous works. [16:97] :love:

As long as u try ur hardest, and its true that at the beginning u might find urself in difficult situations but...

As for those who strive in Us, We surely guide them to Our paths, and lo! Allah is with the good. [29:69] :inlove:

u've gotta keep urself strong inshaAllah, and know that anythin that comes in ur path is a test from Allah swt, cos it's easy for anyone to decide one day and the next day change their mind and go back to their old ways, but when u strive, its all about fightin those inner desires to try and please ur Lord

But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah's Way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves [3:146]

and alwayssssssssss remember...

:love: Surely, Allah's Mercy is [ever] near unto the good-doers [7:56] :love:
SubhaanAllah, a very practical and nice example for us all brothers and sisters.

[Debater]

MashaAllah, your spirit sis, keep trying and one day you will be wearing it to set an example of a working lady in proper hijab where you'd work.

[angel*]

Repty wkd post mashallah! :up:

Mmmm i didnt use 2 wear the hijb let alone jilbab till a while ago, just didnt feel the need and when i realised i wanted 2, sumthingz alwayz held me bk cuz most of my friends wernt practsing and i wasnt sure what theyd mk of it so i 4rgt all about it, Then 1 day, i came 2 the conclusions that, although its alwayz good to think b4 hand what other ppl may or may not think, i shuld never let other pplz opinion overrule my own judgement. Since then. allhumlillah i feel gr8 wearing both thingz and infact have found ut that my friends and otherz actually respect me 4 it and have since started wearing it themselves!!!!

[alna]

Salam all,

Thank you for your wonderful feedbacks, I really appreciate it. May I ask a few questions though?

Once I wear this jilbab, do I also have to change everything else at the same time? Does my income needs to be clean as well? If I were to change everything drastically, I would face a lot of troubles. I wouldn't have any money, no place to stay and no foods to eat. Believe me, I hate the way I live my life at this moment, but I don't have any other choices. Here at my place, when you're a 30++ female (whatmore if you're wearing a scarf/veil or jilbab), you won't get any jobs. One of my elder sisters is currently working overseas because of this (she's 41). No one wanted to hire her anymore, unless she works in the pub, as my other elder sister (the one I'm staying with now).

I truly want to follow the religion, in every aspect, but I don't think I can afford to change drastically, especially moneywise. And once I start this freelance job, I don't know if I will get any money for the 1st 3 months. If I leave everything behind, drastically, and I don't get any income within that time, what would I do? How will I pay my rent? How will I pay for my dad's car? How will I eat? I want so much to wear jilbab and really follow the religion in detail, but with my situation now...

Sometimes, I see people with nice homes, loads of money, and yet, they forget Allah. And here I am, trying to be a good Muslimah, but my path always seems to be difficult. Why? I always ask myself this question. Why is it that people who are trying to be pious, face more obstacles than those who forget Allah? I know maybe God is testing our love for him, but obstacle after obstacle... Sometimes, I am tired. I am alone in this battle, alone in this misery, no one to help, guide, protect... I think it would be different if you have family who supports you, or friends.. but when you're all alone against this cruel world...

I guess my burden is mine to bear. Thanks for reading...

[dhakiyya]

Yes, you do need to change your lifestyle to be totally halal - but of course this will take time and you need to take each step when you are ready. The first generation of Muslims at the time of the Prophet :saw: did not learn Islam overnight - Islam was revealed bit by bit over 23 years mashaAllah, they changed their lifestyle as each new revelation was sent to Muhammad :saw: and he taught it to them.

You do need to start taking steps to overcome the obstacles to living a totally halal lifestyle. For your financial situation, no it would not be wise to quit your job and be unable to support yourself - but if your job is not a halal job (you don't say what your job is) then you will need to change it sooner or later, maybe you could start retraining? There are schemes where you can retrain whilst you carry on with your old job, so you can get qualified for a new job, then apply and get a new job, before you quit your old one.

Also, there is a section on the forum for new Muslims, which is for discussing all these kinds of issues faced by new Muslims, swapping advice on how to do lifestyle changes etc.

[Umm 'Umarah.]

Your post made me smile so much sister, May Allah reward you. It’s nice to know that we have sisters who are striving to adhere to correct Hijab. I was once like you…..in two minds about whether I should take up observing it, I was worried and confused (just as you are) on whether or not I will be consistent in my actions.

Sister, there is no time like the present and if it is constantly on your mind then hasten towards this good action… indeed you will be rewarded.

Sister, It is very likely, Non-Muslims will not receive you as you would like them to…it is to be expected. It’s not easy but we already know this;

"And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient, Who says, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return": They are those on whom (descend) Blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance". (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

Sister do you think these people are really worth the hassle if they can’t see past the clothes you wear? Those that have sense will hire you for your ability, We are Muslim women, we are not sexual commodities like the women of the west who are judged more on appearance rather than ability, if anyone mistreats you, they are the problem, they are the one’s who are shallow and prejudice. It will bother you, but don’t let them deter you from doing what’s right…. ultimately…. it is between you alone and Allah. Whoever works for the hereafter, Allah will take care of his worldly concerns for him.

“And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him”
(al-Talaaq 65:3)

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "He whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction" (Al-Bukhari).

[alna]

Salam,

Thank you sisters... Before I asked this question in the first place, I did not know that Jilbab is actually compulsory. I read about it, and found a verse in the Quran that actually mentions the word jilbab... I now know what I have to do. Thank you again for all your kind support. May Allah bless you always...