Niqaab-how do you know?

[Khubaib]

As-salamu alaikum

Mashallah many sisters wear niqaab. My question is how do you know whether or not to approach them for marriage. For instance if someone does not have blood sisters who can meet with them and let a brother know if she has the qualities of beauty he is looking for. I don't have anyone in mind, just a question that I have been considering. Is it appropriate to go speak with her and her wali and then decline? If you approach someone don't they assume that you have already decided and you are looking for their family to approve? If I am missing something let me know otherwise I will just make dua and approach someone on the basis of character/reputation and ask Allah to make me happy with their appearance. Jazakallah khair.

[Al-Irhaab]

As-salamu alaikum

Mashallah many sisters wear niqaab. My question is how do you know whether or not to approach them for marriage. For instance if someone does not have blood sisters who can meet with them and let a brother know if she has the qualities of beauty he is looking for. I don't have anyone in mind, just a question that I have been considering. Is it appropriate to go speak with her and her wali and then decline? If you approach someone don't they assume that you have already decided and you are looking for their family to approve? If I am missing something let me know otherwise I will just make dua and approach someone on the basis of character/reputation and ask Allah to make me happy with their appearance. Jazakallah khair.

walaikum assalam

after you speak to the wali he will usually let u see the daughter if you then decide not to marry her then you can widthraw from it...

barakallahu fik

[sunny_skies]

Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah the Prophet said:
“When one of you asks a woman for marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so….” (Abu Dawud).

Muslim reported Abu Hurairah as saying that a man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and told him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar. "Did you look at her?" the Prophet (peace be on him) asked. "No," he said, 'Then go and look at her,' said the Prophet (peace be on him), 'for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar,' meaning that some of them have a defect of their eyes.

Al-Mughira ibn Shu'bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her. When I replied that I had not, he said 'Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.' I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet's advice. They seemed to disapprove of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, 'If the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.' I looked at her, and subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi.)

The Prophet (peace be on him) did not specify either to Mughirah or to the other man how much of the woman they were permitted to see. Some scholars are of the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands. However, it is permissible for anyone to see the face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore, if asking for woman in marriage is an exemption, obviously the man making the proposal should be able to see much more of the woman than that. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, "When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so." (Reported by Abu Daoud.)

[Bint_Khalid]

As-salamu alaikum
If you approach someone don't they assume that you have already decided and you are looking for their family to approve?


No this is usually not the case but if you have doubt then you should make sure that your parents or wali tell her wali before hand. Insha'Allah.

Couple agrees to pursue marriage after certain steps are undertaken for instance; Salatul-Istikharah(Prayer of Seeking Allah’s Guidance) to seek Allah's help in making a decision. Family investigates candidate further - talking with friends, family, etc. to learn about his or her character. So that initial step should not make people assume that the marriage is approved.

:jkk:

[Kal-El]

Family investigates candidate further - talking with friends, family, etc. to learn about his or her character. So that initial step should not make people assume that the marriage is approved.

:jkk:

I've always wondered about that particular aspect. What friend of family member would say anything other than positives?

[Bint_Khalid]

I've always wondered about that particular aspect. What friend of family member would say anything other than positives?

hmm that depends on the wali as to how deep they wanna dig inorder to get what they want. lol but a few questions and alot of Du'a and prayer should help the individual to affirm whether to proceed further or what not.

[Kubs]

I’ve always wondered, if the man after asking the sister to take of her niqab (to see her face) rejects her…..how would this particular sister feel? Rejected because she isn’t good looking enough?

[Kal-El]

Yes.

It's cruel but imagine she rejected him because he wasn't good looking enough for her!

[Honey87]

I’ve always wondered, if the man after asking the sister to take of her niqab (to see her face) rejects her…..how would this particular sister feel? Rejected because she isn’t good looking enough?

Perhaps. But most people know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It may not always be the case that he didn't think she was pretty. I know it sounds silly, but he may not feel anything when he sees her. as a woman, may see a handsome man, and it may just stop there.:o