please what should I do ?

[All mixed up]

Well Im a convert to Islam, and my family HATE the idea and they treat me like a outkast, well last sunday I was out and all that week I tried so hard to please my mother and treat her how islam tells me to treat her, so I did verything she asked and that, but then one day I feel so light headed and tired and I came in and sat down I asked my mom for the saunday paper and she looked and never answered I just said forget it, but she was like dont come here and give your attiude and then I just had enough I stormed out and I said that I will do what I want and she came up and started banging at my door. I was like go away she was calling me very bad names and I did the same but under my breath so she wouldnt hear, I was fuming. but I got so mad that I loss control of my temper and very srtupidliy gave my self a black eye by acidently hitting the phone off my head, cant exactly remeber how becvause it was the heat of the moment,
then she said to get the F out of her house and F off to my F'in Pakis.
I got my stuff and I went to my sisters till wedsenday,

I came back wedsenday and then my brothers accused me of being in a mercs and I dont even no any one that owns one, then on the thursday he was like your back then and still wearing yhat thing on your head, and it turns out yeah that some one has been snooping around in my room and found the pill which I have to take due to personal reasons, not haraam purposes.

I still hadnt spoken to my mom, it is not just due to I wont spoeak to her I just dont know what to say, so then saturday came she went out and she came back with a random bloke whichshe did some times, and she was havin g you know what with him down stairs and I could hear it and I mean she had me awake from say 2pm till 4.30 doin it which really made me mad, so then I went mad I said that you need to stop and I said Im your daughter I dont want ot hear that just be quiet and she was like what ever when I said Im your daughter, and also the man came into my room Twice once by mistake but then on purpose luckyl I have a lock on my room but what is I was assleep what would of he done to me? I havent spomen to my mom for a week now and I dont want ot because Im slightly ashammed I know I shouldnt say but my ma is always bringiong men home I dont want to listen to my mom having sex.

I know Im in the wrong but I feel I cant face her,

[Muslimsis22]

You are not wrong for disliking what your mother does, but you have to respect her nonetheless. If you behave in an honourable way towards her and show her the Islam teaches kindness and respect towards mothers, she may become interested in Islam. Talk to her about Islam and why you decided to revert.

Start by telling your mother that you're really sorry if you've done anything to upset her sis. "Mum I'm sorry if I've upset you in anyway. Please forgive me." will work well insha-Allah. May Allah help you and your mother.

Go out to the mosque whenever you can (obviously not at 2-4 in the morning) and keep yourself busy with your studies or work.

[angel*]

Wow thats sum predicement ur in, how old are you? Is there anyway that perhaps u culd go stay with sum1 else, like ur sis?

[assia]

You appear so young..... you poor thing, this is no life for you in this environment, it wont do you any good mentally, yes you have to respect your parents but if this is the same thing day in and day out then it will become bearable for you to continue living at home. You really need to get help depending also on your age, it is not good to encourage a child, youth, teenager etc to leave home, however in this case in my opinion maybe it would be wise too, but also ur safety is important and you need to take that into consideration my dear....Your mother doing those things must be heartbreaking for you, they have no understanding of the hearafter. I think maybe its best if you keep out her way. There are a lot of brothers and sisters on this forum who can give you the best advise MashaAllah.... If you are older enough to leave home and you have the abilty to then maybe it is best for you as that way you can concentrate on your new islamic life better. Give your mother time, she may come round one day and accept it. But well to islam, you will find peace and love insha'Allah, and you are on the right path my dear. You can teach yourself so much more about islam, on this forum and so many other places, books on praying and gaining much more knowledge about islam. If you have no support from your family and your all alone it can be hard for you as some non muslims just see islam the way they want to see it, they have no knowledge on islam but maybe negitive knowledge, and that maybe on what they hear, read etc... So maybe it would be hard to try and talk to your mother about it now and she is not ready to listen, maybe she needs to accept that you have become muslim first, then maybe in future talk to her about it. If you can live with another family member or a friend perhaps then in my opinion i think it would be best for you untill you can get your own place, again depending on your age, what your mother is doing to you and in front of you is abuse and this is not right. Do what is best for you, you are a person and your safety and mental health comes first. I wish you luck and i hope the brothers and sisters on this forum can advise you better, they are brilliant. Try going to your local misjid to speak to some one there, maybe they can advise you, also they maybe some muslim help sites im not sure, again the brothers and sisters here can tell you that.

May Allah (swt) guild you and protect you Ameen

Sister in islam

[perfectpearl]

Aslamu Alkum

Try to get married and leave the house. Try to find a good practicing muslim Husband. Be nice to your mother but show that you have limits. She has to respect you for who you are and who you want to be.

I said this 1000 times before but again; wake up in the middle of the night and pray to Allah to help you. Be very sincere. INshaa Allah may Allah help you and guide to whats best.

[Emani]

All Mixed Up: I am so sorry for your situation. Alot of times I forget this, but you have to try to remember that God only tests those he loves, and you will receive rewards for hte difficulties you are going through if you can face them with patience and tolerance...I know, easier said than done. But you have to try and find something in your life you can use to help you...you must try to pray and pray often. Going to the masjid is a GREAT suggestion, from Muslimsis22. Do you have access to a masjid? Do you know where one is in your area, and would you feel comfortable going there? I think it would benefit you greatly....

I did not grow up in a situation like yours, but I can make suggestions to you for things that I do to cope with this life. Remember, also, this life is nothing compared to what happens after. You must keep doing good deeds, so that in the end, you will be rewarded for all of your struggles. God loves you so much, and it is promised to you that if you do your duties as a Muslim, you will be rewarded. Insha'allah, God-willing, you will be able to strengthen your faith through your pains....

What I do to cope with life:
1. pray
2. read Qur'an
3. drink coffee with a friend
4. go to the library. Sometimes I spend hours and hours there because it is so quiet and calm. Alot of times there are little kids there and you can look at them and remember how it feels to be innocent. I write and read books there for hours and hours, and no one bothers me or talks to me or anything, you can just be there and be alone.
5. listen to Qur'an. If you go online, you can order a copy of Qur'an on CD or tape. If your mom hears you listening and it makes her angry, just listen to it with headphones on. Some think music helps, but music is not allowed in Islam, and listening to the Qur'an is so much better for your heart and mind.
6. take walks away from your house. Maybe this is hard for you if you are covering your head, if you are in an area that doesn't have many muslims. so maybe this isn't a good idea for you. But I like to be outside, so that is why I say that. if you are old enough and you have a license, you could drive to a park and just be outside there.
7. pray, pray, and pray.
8. take care of an animal. It is hard to take care of cats in the house, especially not good to teh animal if there is already chaos in teh house. But I think it would help you if you got a fish or something else to have for yourself. It can be therapeutic.
9. Therapy is another option that might help give you more advice, options, a safe place to share your feelings with another human being. Alot of times there are places you can go who offer services for free if you weren't able to afford them.
10. Give yourself some thought to focus on through the day, during your troubles. For example, in times of stress, I remind myself "patience and tolerance. Patience and tolerance" and I will repeat this to myself over and over to help calm my mind. It can be a verse from the Qur'an or a special hadith (the sayings and doings of the prophet muhammed (salaahu alayhi wasalaam, peace and blessings be upon him). Or it can be salaat (prayer). Anything to help your mind calm itself.

Just remember that God is with you and God sees everything that you are going through. If you remain steadfast and follow the right path (which, as it sounds, you are earnestly trying to do), then you will be rewarded. Say alhumdulilla for God only tests those that he loves.

Take care and keep fighting the good fight....