I want a divorce

[AbuMubarak]

Carry me in your Arms......
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, " you are not a man!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did'nt care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build a relationship.
Author: Unknown Courtesy: AL-ISLAAH PUBLICATIONS

[Zesty]

:crying: howwww beautiful! omggg im soo touched! :crying:

[ur_yusra]

Stupid man.

[Zesty]

Stupid man.

:eek: loooolll... but but.. he realised.. Alhamdullilah :o

[Lambo5688]

This was a tear jerker.

So emotional.

I think I'll carry my wife too...but to the kitchen.

[Medievalist]

Abu Mubarak bro you got me worried with that title :torture:

But :jkk: for the story. very inspiring :up:

[Zesty]

This was a tear jerker.

So emotional.

I think I'll carry my wife too...but to the kitchen.

:rofl1: :rofl1: so she can grab the frying pan to whack you over the head with for assuming shes gona cook for you!?!? *sweet angelic smile*
(was a tearjerker though.. i think im going soft.... in the head)!:rolleyes:

[Zesty]

Abu Mubarak bro you got me worried with that title :torture:

But :jkk: for the story. very inspiring :up:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: ohh here we ggooo.. wannabe romeos gona want to carry their wife now! :rofl1:

[Kal-El]

This article is extremely bias and reinforces the negative stereotype that men are the main cause for unhappy marriages or divorces. I call for an immediate removal of it.

[ur_yusra]

:eek: loooolll... but but.. he realised.. Alhamdullilah :o

Once a cheat.. always a cheat.. in my humble opinion.

[Kubs]

So that makes it alright now does it? He cheats on her and then chooses to divorce her for someone much younger. Who says he won’t do it again?

[Lambo5688]

:rofl1: :rofl1: so she can grab the frying pan to whack you over the head with for assuming shes gona cook for you!?!? *sweet angelic smile*
(was a tearjerker though.. i think im going soft.... in the head)!:rolleyes:

No I was joking about the kitchen part...Ill carry her wherever she wants.:o

[Lambo5688]

uh oh....Male Bashing about to start. Take cover!!

[Zesty]

This article is extremely bias and reinforces the negative stereotype that men are the main cause for unhappy marriages or divorces. I call for an immediate removal of it.


gaawwdd cant you just take the good from it?! dya have to become so analytical about the whole thing :p it was the dude in this story that was cheating... deal with it :p

Once a cheat.. always a cheat.. in my humble opinion.

:rubeyes: hhmm.. maybe. I dunno... can only hope right that when people say theyve changed their ways they mean it and theyre sincere?

[Zesty]

No I was joking about the kitchen part...Ill carry her wherever she wants.:o

lol :) mashaAllah.. very sweet.

[AbuMubarak]

you women,sheeeesh

first off, there is no such thing as a man "cheating" on his wife in islam

he either marries a second time, or he commits adultery, which is a sin between him and His Lord, but he is not "cheating" on his wife, he is sinning

you girls gotta give up that christian/kufr idea of marriage and relationships, because it not only infects YOUR mind, but you will pass that garbage on to another generation of young sisters

[neelu]

Very cheesy, overly simplistic. I am not impressed.

Word of warning Abu M, some people might naively think that YOU wrote that story about yourself and would give you the "astaghfirullah akhi" lecture;)

[Kal-El]

She will always remember that her husband cheated on her and wanted to walk out on her and their family. I'd like to fast forward that marriage a few months/years and see how it's doing :coolbro:

[neelu]

She will always remember that her husband cheated on her and wanted to walk out on her and their family. I'd like to fast forward that marriage a few months/years and see how it's doing :coolbro:


Actually in that story, he doesn't admit to her that he wanted to leave her for someone else- but I see your point.

[Kal-El]

Having read brother Abu Muburak's post, honestly, it's time like these you are GLAD you are male. :o No offence to the sisters

[Medievalist]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: ohh here we ggooo.. wannabe romeos gona want to carry their wife now! :rofl1:

mind yr beeswax :torture:

She will always remember that her husband cheated on her and wanted to walk out on her and their family. I'd like to fast forward that marriage a few months/years and see how it's doing :coolbro:


if she's a desi wife then chances are she'll forgive him and get on with her marriage. In womens favour - they put up with a lot more than a man would.

[ur_yusra]

you women,sheeeesh

first off, there is no such thing as a man "cheating" on his wife in islam

he either marries a second time, or he commits adultery, which is a sin between him and His Lord, but he is not "cheating" on his wife, he is sinning

you girls gotta give up that christian/kufr idea of marriage and relationships, because it not only infects YOUR mind, but you will pass that garbage on to another generation of young sisters


Of course he is cheating on his wife. What else is it.. he's betraying her trust.

[Medievalist]

Of course he is cheating on his wife. What else is it.. he's betraying her trust.

I agree.

Bro - if a man is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on his marriage. If a woman is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on her marriage.

[AbuMubarak]

Very cheesy, overly simplistic. I am not impressed.

Word of warning Abu M, some people might naively think that YOU wrote that story about yourself and would give you the "astaghfirullah akhi" lecture;)

first problem with that is imagine me with some chick named DEW

what is a dew?

she may as well be named Bubbles or Tootsie

[Kal-El]

Is it me or has brother Medi had a dramatic transformation :scratch:

[AbuMubarak]

I agree.

Bro - if a man is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on his marriage. If a woman is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on her marriage.
so if he marries a second time, is he also cheating?

if he commits adultery after having two wives, has he cheated on them?

[ur_yusra]

I agree.

Bro - if a man is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on his marriage. If a woman is having an extramarital affair then that is cheating on her marriage.

You agree.. noway I must be seeing things.. No wonder.. its wayyyyy passed my bedtime.

[Lambo5688]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: ohh here we ggooo.. wannabe romeos gona want to carry their wife now! :rofl1:

Jealous!

[Medievalist]

first problem with that is imagine me with some chick named DEW

what is a dew?

she may as well be named Bubbles or Tootsie

She was probably called Shabnam and you gave the english meaning of her name. Im onto you :torture:

Is it me or has brother Medi had a dramatic transformation :scratch:


its u. :zzz:

so if he marries a second time, is he also cheating?

if he commits adultery after having two wives, has he cheated on them?

Bro - he's not cheating if he is married to another 3 wives - but I'd say he's cheating on his wives if he has extra-marital affairs.

[Lambo5688]

She was probably called Shabnam and you gave the english meaning of her name. Im onto you :torture:

:outta: this gonna get rough.

[AbuMubarak]

She was probably called Shabnam and you gave the english meaning of her name. Im onto you :torture:
.

what is a shabnam?

is that a man's name?

[bint]

wow subhanAllah..that woman had alot of patience, i dunno how she did it.but she did mashaAllah.

[Medievalist]

what is a shabnam?

is that a man's name?

its a girls name. Means morning dew. I think it's quite a pretty name actually. Perhaps I'll have a daughter called Shabnam :inlove:

[AbuMubarak]

thats good

but actually, i like names that remind me of islam, such as fatima, ruqayyah, zaynab, etc

cultural names do nothing for me

[Maureen]

gaawwdd cant you just take the good from it?! dya have to become so analytical about the whole thing :p it was the dude in this story that was cheating... deal with it :p



:rubeyes: hhmm.. maybe. I dunno... can only hope right that when people say theyve changed their ways they mean it and theyre sincere?
Males who cheat rarely change their ways. Drop em fast!

[Medievalist]

thats good

but actually, i like names that remind me of islam, such as fatima, ruqayyah, zaynab, etc

cultural names do nothing for me

I didnt like the name so much before but after finding out its meaning - I think its a very nice name for a girl.

[Kal-El]

Is it okay to name mine 'Serenity'?

[Medievalist]

Is it okay to name mine 'Serenity'?


You can name her Serena - after the sister of Sayyidatuna Maria radhiyallahu anha:up:

[Kal-El]

You can name her Serena - after the sister of Sayyidatuna Maria radhiyallahu anha:up:

Mashallah, that's nice. "Serena Warsame" :D

How about her sister though - I really like the name Serenity.

[Medievalist]

Mashallah, that's nice.

How about her sister though - I really like the name Serenity.


Go and ask the Mufti bro. ;)

[Ignatius F. Peace]

I liked the story ... nuff said ...

[Tax-Man]

Aww, I'll only carry my future wife(inshallah) if she's a size zero, back issues:o

[Lambo5688]

Aww, I'll only carry my future wife(inshallah) if she's a size zero, back issues:o

:rotfl: Your avatar is too good.

What level are you in snipes and slayer?

[mara]

you women,sheeeesh

first off, there is no such thing as a man "cheating" on his wife in islam

he either marries a second time, or he commits adultery, which is a sin between him and His Lord, but he is not "cheating" on his wife, he is sinning

you girls gotta give up that christian/kufr idea of marriage and relationships, because it not only infects YOUR mind, but you will pass that garbage on to another generation of young sistersYes, i always found the misyar marriages a much better covering for men's unfortunatelly bad temper.

[heaven2002]

what a stupid story
if a man can cheat once he can cheat again
and so can a woman
and if they cheat and u take them back then ur giving the message that no matter what they do ul be ok with it

[Tax-Man]

ur giving the message that no matter what they do ul be ok with itShe didn't know the reason, plus people change

[Abu Ahlam]

It's a nice story when its fictional, but not so nice if it were true.

[ummbilal]

this wife was very wise indeed,

[AbuMubarak]

yes she was

she didnt go off on a wild tirade, she used wisdom

she realized the value of her husband and his weakness and battled it with wisdom and not blind emotion

thats the moral of this story

if she left him, where would she be? if he left her, where would he be?

she was a wise woman and acted in a wise manner, and thats the point

[`asiya]

I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her...

This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me...

I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart...

Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world....


the biggest lesson in that story is for the men, appreciate what women go through to serve you, how they sacrifice their bodies, and how much pain they go through to carry, bear and raise your children, how they would give the last morsel in the house to their husband and children rather than eat it themselves... remember the sacrifices a woman makes forsaking her looks, her health and her happiness to give her husband and her children all of her love and remember how she cries alone when u are not there over ur harsh words and treatment of her..

she works and is on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the rest of her married life... she doesnt get to lay in bed and sleep in,she does not get even one day off, not even one day a year, from the minute the children arrive till they leave home again...

that piece made me weep for it showed clearly the selfishness, and ungreatfullness of some men towards their wives who sacrifice so much to make men happy...

[AbuMubarak]

it made you weep?


i just thought it was an interesting story

yes, people, men and women tend to get caught up in their own selves and forget about the other

but lets not turn this into some man bashing thread, because i got a lot of ammo i can throw at the sisters, and it aint pretty

[`asiya]

it made you weep?


i just thought it was an interesting story

yes, people, men and women tend to get caught up in their own selves and forget about the other

but lets not turn this into some man bashing thread, because i got a lot of ammo i can throw at the sisters, and it aint pretty

:confused:

[sis_niqabi]

salam

i read this weeks ago on another forum. its such a nice story.

[ummbilal]

it made me weep too, for all the women who are unappriciated and all my sisters who are without loving husbands to care for them.

Inshaallah it will be easy for my sisters.

[carol_au]

it touched me and made me cry too, but for a completely different reason.. but Allah knows best.

[Zesty]

Males who cheat rarely change their ways. Drop em fast!

:) its easier said than done. I always said that if my husband ever cheated on me (i mean in the future) i would up and leave- simple as that. Why shoudl i ahve to deal with that? Problem is, as you get older- you realise that the complexities of marriage are many. I know this story is only a story but its actually a reality for many and the simple fact is.. alot of women will put up with it for the sake of their children or even because... well they still love their husband :o
Call it being a victim or gullible or whatever but the fact of the matter is... women have a much harder time letting go then men. It takes men ages to realise the worth of their wife.. and thats a truth too!

[heaven2002]

She didn't know the reason, plus people change

men who cheat rarely change
and a wife usually knows when her husbands having an affair but she wont mention it , as shel be afraid

[Zesty]

men who cheat rarely change
and a wife usually knows when her husbands having an affair but she wont mention it , as shel be afraid

I think thats very true.. she has a gut instinct that tells her somethings not quite right.. but the fear of finding out and facing it i guess is even bigger/

[heaven2002]

I think thats very true.. she has a gut instinct that tells her somethings not quite right.. but the fear of finding out and facing it i guess is even bigger/

yes
shel put her head in the sand and carry on as normal
and when he says like int he story 'i want a divorce' shel know that its another woman

[Amaara]

Sweet...

[Al-Irhaab]

its a story people a story... its meant to teach a lesson.... i mean didnt you realise the by the name dew etc... i mean do u really think the woman would have asked to be carried to the door every day.... its just a story to teach a lesson.... i mean next youl be asking where was the islamic police, why did the guy have shares... why did he tell her to have all of the house... did the guy have a beard... was the woman wearing hijab.... why did the man let his wife catch the bus to work *rolleyes*

[Amaara]

its a story people a story... its meant to teach a lesson.... i mean didnt you realise the by the name dew etc... i mean do u really think the woman would have asked to be carried to the door every day.... its just a story to teach a lesson.... i mean next youl be asking where was the islamic police, why did the guy have shares... why did he tell her to have all of the house... did the guy have a beard... was the woman wearing hijab.... why did the man let his wife catch the bus to work *rolleyes*

erm I kinda figured it was a- is it called fable...

[Eemaan]

its a story people a story... its meant to teach a lesson.... i mean didnt you realise the by the name dew etc... i mean do u really think the woman would have asked to be carried to the door every day.... its just a story to teach a lesson.... i mean next youl be asking where was the islamic police, why did the guy have shares... why did he tell her to have all of the house... did the guy have a beard... was the woman wearing hijab.... why did the man let his wife catch the bus to work *rolleyes*

Yes :torture:

moral of the story, you have to carry yer wife to the door every day :D

and i mean EVERY DAY al be ringing up to check plonk :coolbro:

[MMS]

Yes :torture:

moral of the story, you have to carry yer wife to the door every day :D

and i mean EVERY DAY al be ringing up to check plonk :coolbro:

ur husbands gonna need a crane :rotfl::rotfl:

[ukprinces]

:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

[Eemaan]

ur husbands gonna need a crane :rotfl::rotfl:

oh so funna PMS :zzz:

least my hubby wont need to cover my face with a paper bag ever mornan :coolbro:

[MMS]

oh so funna PMS :zzz:

least my hubby wont need to cover my face with a paper bag ever mornan :coolbro:

ya coz hes gonna have one permanently attached to yer face so he doesnt need to go through the trouble everyday :up:

[Al-Irhaab]

oh so funna PMS :zzz:

least my hubby wont need to cover my face with a paper bag ever mornan :coolbro:

yeah hel want to use something a bit thicker and stronger and less porous *rotfl*

[Eemaan]

oh PMS and Plonk.

both as thick as bricks :D

May Allah bless you both with pleasant, god fearing and patient real life spouses. Ameen. Ameen

[Redmist]

yeah hel want to use something a bit thicker and stronger and less porous *rotfl*



Like a breeze block or sumt ? :rotfl:


Ps good to see ya back bro! good to see sum old familiar faces on here :D

[Asmara]

Some men are so opportunistic and selfish.

If your husband wants to divorce you why would you ask him to carry you from A to B everday? :scratch: Most women would punch him in the face and say "Good I'm glad. The house is mine now so get out!"

Women should have a prenuptial agreement which will never make him consider divorcing you.

[Al-Irhaab]

Some men are so opportunistic and selfish.

If your husband wants to divorce you why would you ask him to carry you from A to B everday? :scratch: Most women would punch him in the face and say "Good I'm glad. The house is mine now so get out!"

Women should have a prenuptial agreement which will never make him consider divorcing you.

errr a prenuptial agreement will stop him marrying u never mind divorcing you *outta*

[Asmara]

errr a prenuptial agreement will stop him marrying u never mind divorcing you *outta*

Men who are against prenuptial agreements should be avoided anyway. Women should not consider marrying them. We need to plan ahead because anything can happen.

[Al-Irhaab]

Men who are against prenuptial agreements should be avoided anyway. Women should not consider marrying them. We need to plan ahead because anything can happen.

what do you class as a pre-nup ? do you mean pre-nup as in the kuffar pre-nup ie you divorce me and i take half ur money.... or do u mean as in the islamic sense ie woman stipulates she has the right to such and such...

[Asmara]

what do you class as a pre-nup ? do you mean pre-nup as in the kuffar pre-nup ie you divorce me and i take half ur money.... or do u mean as in the islamic sense ie woman stipulates she has the right to such and such...

The woman should take the house if she's got kids in my opinion. What really bothers me is that some men throw their wife out after divorcing her, remarry and keep the kids. It happens in Muslim countries quite a lot. So the woman is left with nothing, which is unfair of course.

[Abu Mus'ab]

its a story people a story... its meant to teach a lesson.... i mean didnt you realise the by the name dew etc... i mean do u really think the woman would have asked to be carried to the door every day.... its just a story to teach a lesson.... i mean next youl be asking where was the islamic police, why did the guy have shares... why did he tell her to have all of the house... did the guy have a beard... was the woman wearing hijab.... why did the man let his wife catch the bus to work *rolleyes*
Yeah man it's just a story :smack:

The people in the story weren't muslim so there's no question of beards and the like *Roll Eyes*

[MG]

what this story shows is how people are so quick to divorce so they can follow their lusts and desires and think the grass is greener on the other side, normally it hits most when its to late and they have lost everything.

[Abu Mus'ab]

Mashallah, that's nice. "Serena Warsame" :D

How about her sister though - I really like the name Serenity.

What happened to Nevaeh? *Roll Eyes*

Anyhoo I would strongly strongly like really really strongly advise you to name your children with Muslim names, and the ulema would agree with me on that.

And besides people need to get back to Islam not go further away, "some" muslims in the west suffer from an identity crisis, they're drifting more and more away from Islam, the last thing they need is to get christian names.

You should remember what happened with mustafa kemal attapork in turkey, would you want your children to become like how the secular turks are?

Give your daughters names like Aisha, Hafsah etc, names of great people, who can be as role models for your children, because without an inkling of doubt a persons name has an effect on them.

And that's not something i'm sucking out of my thumb, a sahabi radhiallahu ta'aala anhu named his son harb (war) so his son got those qualities, and his father came to complain to rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about his son (i'm no gonna give the whole story) that's why rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam ordered his name to be changed, and commanded that people name their children with proper names.

[*hayat*]

vert meaningful and so sad story, its really nice actually if looked at from a positive point of vew

ps: the tittle was scary though!

[lost.com]

very moving...the way this society is now, we need to remind our brothers and sisters how easy it is to fall into the weastern ways.....
.......lower your gaze and higher your iman!!....

[Medievalist]

HafizJee: Serena is a muslim name as far as Im aware. :scratch:

[Abu Mus'ab]

HafizJee: Serena is a muslim name as far as Im aware. :scratch:
I woz talking about serenity :smack:

If you want serena then rather use sakeenah, it's much better :smack:

[Medievalist]

I woz talking about serenity :smack:

If you want serena then rather use sakeenah, it's much better :smack:

Whats wrong with Serena? She was a Sahabiya radhiyallahu anha?

[Raziel]

This was a tear jerker.

So emotional.

I think I'll carry my wife too...but to the kitchen.

:D Muahahahah! :rotfl:

lol!

:jkk:

[Abu Mus'ab]

Whats wrong with Serena? She was a Sahabiya radhiyallahu anha?
If people wanna use it then fine, i won't say owt.

[algharib]

I found this story to be so beautiful, as well lessons to be derived from...felt good ater reading it yesterday only to reach home and learn that my big brother had just divorced his lovely wife of 15 years, subuhanalah this made me sad.Pls make dua for them to make up...barakallahu feekum.

[umm_yusuf]

Awww miskin. It is sad when the muslim family unit break up. May Allah make it easy for them Insha Allah.

[afsalim]

A beautiful story...

[shamson]

Go easy on the men, sisters wow:torture:

I don't think many 'practising' couples will be in this situation inshAllah (adultery) because of the consequences with Allah. At most I think the bro. might wana get married again but mashAllah most of us know the punishment in this life and worse in the hereafter.

[Abdulah]

That was nice:)

[Al-Irhaab]

The woman should take the house if she's got kids in my opinion. What really bothers me is that some men throw their wife out after divorcing her, remarry and keep the kids. It happens in Muslim countries quite a lot. So the woman is left with nothing, which is unfair of course.

well fortunately according to islam your opinion has no basis... if a man divorces his wife she gets nothing apart from the mehr which she already has... she doesnt get the house... she only gets the kids if theyre below a certain age... and if she remarrys she automatically loses the right to have the children... she doesnt get half his wealth nada nothing he only has to maintain her until the iddah if im not mistaken....

[Black_Flag]

Once a cheat.. always a cheat.. in my humble opinion.

hear hear!

[ur_yusra]

well fortunately according to islam your opinion has no basis... if a man divorces his wife she gets nothing apart from the mehr which she already has... she doesnt get the house... she only gets the kids if theyre below a certain age... and if she remarrys she automatically loses the right to have the children... she doesnt get half his wealth nada nothing he only has to maintain her until the iddah if im not mistaken....

Thats why women should have degrees..

[Abu Mus'ab]

Thats why women should have degrees..
That's why women should marry men that aint gonna divorce them *Roll Eyes*

[angel*]

That's why women should marry men that aint gonna divorce them *Roll Eyes*

:rolleyes: umm well seeing as guyz dont usually have thingz written on thier forehead, how can u stop urself from marrying sum1 who might end up divorcing you?

[MG]

That's why women should marry men that aint gonna divorce them *Roll Eyes*

:rolleyes: umm well seeing as guyz dont usually have thingz written on thier forehead, how can u stop urself from marrying sum1 who might end up divorcing you?

when it is decreed by the almighty for you to be divorced by your hubbie/wife, wether they walk with a sign on their head or not, u would still end up marrying them

[MG]

Thats why women should have degrees..

or learn how to make samsosas :D

[Asmara]

well fortunately according to islam your opinion has no basis... if a man divorces his wife she gets nothing apart from the mehr which she already has... she doesnt get the house... she only gets the kids if theyre below a certain age... and if she remarrys she automatically loses the right to have the children... she doesnt get half his wealth nada nothing he only has to maintain her until the iddah if im not mistaken....

The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

[angel*]

when it is decreed by the almighty for you to be divorced by your hubbie/wife, wether they walk with a sign on their head or not, u would still end up marrying them

ur right sis, thats true.


The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

Mmmm that does sound unfair in gotta say.............

[MG]

The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

its true sis:

In a Hadith recorded by Imam Abu Dawud in his Sunan, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said to a woman who complained that her husband was intending to take her child away from her: “You are more rightful of the child as long as you don’t marry” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2276 & Mustadrak al-Hakim, 2/207).


http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/ccustody1.htm

[`asiya]

The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

that is only true if u re-marry ukhti,and if the children are over a certain age. there is a lot of wisdom in this arrangement alhamdulillah and it does not mean that the woman does not see her children.

Who has more right to custody of the child – the father or the mother?

Question:
My question is as follows:
I married a sister who had a child with her husband before me. The little brother is currently three years old.
If their is any evidence to show clearly my wife's right to visitation. And the behavior of the Sahaabah and their implimention of the hadeeth,"And the women has more right unless she remarries." How did those men who took custody of the children give their former wife her right to the child. Please help us we are truly being oppressed

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The best way for a child to be brought up is with both of his parents, because if he is cared for by both this will strengthen him physically, enhance his intellectual development, keep his soul pure and prepare him for life.

If it so happens that the parents separate, then the mother has a greater right to custody than the father, unless there is reason not to give priority to the mother or there is a reason to give the child the choice in the matter.

The reason why the mother is given priority is that she is the primary caregiver and is the one who breastfeeds the child; she is also better able to care for the child and take care of him. She has more patience than a man in this regard, and has more time than he does, so the mother is given priority in the best interests of the child.

It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a woman said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my womb was a container for this son of mine and my lap was a haven for him, and he drank from my breast, but his father is claiming that he should take him from me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You have more right to him (to custody of him) so long as you do not remarry.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2/182; Abu Dawood, 2276; al-Haakim, 2/225. Classed as Saheeh by al-Haakim).

Yahyaa ibn Sa’eed said: “I heard al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad said: ‘ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab had a wife from among the Ansaar who bore him ‘Aasim ibn ‘Umar, then ‘Umar divorced her. ‘Umar came to Quba’ and found his son ‘Aasim playing in the courtyard of the mosque. He took him by the arm and seated him in front of him on his riding-animal, but the child’s grandmother caught up with him and fought with him over the child until they went to Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq. ‘Umar said, ‘(He is) my son!’ and the woman said, ‘(He is) my son!’ Abu Bakr said: ‘Leave them alone,’ and ‘Umar did not answer back.” (Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 2/767; al-Bayhaqi, 8/5). Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: this hadeeth is well known with a variety of isnaads, complete and incomplete, and is accepted by the scholars.

According to some reports, [Abu Bakr] said: the mother is more compassionate, more kind, more merciful, more loving and more generous, and she has more right to her child unless she remarries.

Abu Bakr’s description of the mother as being more compassionate and more kind is the reason why the mother has more right to the custody of her young child. And Allaah knows best.



(See Fiqh al-Sunnah, 2/289-290)


If a divorced woman remarries, she has no right to custody

Question:
I am divorced and my x-wife. My x-wife has remarried to a Muslim. We have four sons ages 1, 3, 5, & 7. I have requested majority custody of our sons, but she has refused and has made it very difficult for me to visit with our sons. What are my rights and obligations under these circumstances?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

The mother has more right to custody of her children before the age of seven so long as she does not remarry, in which case the right passes to the one who is most entitled to that after her, because Ahmad (6707) and Abu Dawood (2276) narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr that a woman said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine and my breasts gave him (milk) to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but now his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

It is obligatory to allow the father to see his children and to ask how they are, whether they are in the custody of the mother or of someone else.

Because the mother’s right to custody is lost when she remarries, then it should be given to the one who is most entitled to that after her. There was some difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ as to who has more right after the mother. Some scholars said that the right passes to the mother’s mother. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was of the view that the father has more right than the mother’s mother, on which basis custody should be given to you. Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/26, complete edition).

Similarly if the mother’s mother is a kaafirah or an immoral person, then custody must be given to the father, even according to those who say that the mother’s mother, has more right than the father.

It should be noted that what is meant by custody is keeping and raising the child. Hence a person’s right to custody is lost if he is immoral and corrupt, or careless and heedless, or if he travels a great deal which will harm his children’s interests.

The parents should cooperate in this matter, and pay attention to the child’s interests, so that their disputes will not adversely affect the children.

There is no Qur’aanic verse concerning this matter which specifies who is more entitled to custody, but the following verses should be sufficient for the Muslim:

“And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad) gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it). And fear Allaah; verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment”

[al-Hashr 59:7]

“But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you (O Muhammad) judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission”
[al-Nisa’ 4:65]

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error”

[al-Ahzaab 33:36]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled that the mother loses the right to custody if she remarries, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above, so the believing woman has to accept that and submit.

And Allaah knows best.



Islam Q&A

[Asmara]

I feel like crying. :( Who was it that said it's a man's world? I beleive them now.

No wonder many Muslim women ask for a lot of money as mahr. In the gulf countries some women ask for a house lol I see why now. But like sis ur_yusra said, a Muslim woman needs to get a degree and a job before she marries.

[`asiya]

I feel like crying. :( Who was it that said it's a man's world? I beleive them now.

No wonder many Muslim women ask for a lot of money as mahr. In the gulf countries some women ask for a house lol I see why now. But like sis ur_yusra said, a Muslim woman needs to get a degree and a job before she marries.

ya ukhti dont say that, look remember that Islam is a whole yes, and what we see from the muslims today is not islam, and this is why women are being driven to these lengths by injustice, but that doesnt make it right what they do because we have been told all aspects of our deen and we musnt make marriage difficult by asking for massive dowries.

ukhti in an truely islamic society no woman would ever have to worry about anything material or financial, she would never have to provide for herself at all, as she would always have a man taking care of her as Allah has said "men are the maintainers and protectors of women" so no muslim woman should not be provided for, if she gets divorced then the husbands provides for the kids and her father/uncle/granfather/brother/ or the imam/ would then have to provide for her needs. There is always a man who is supposed to be taking care of us ukhti. and when we remarry, and our sons get to about 10 years old , beleive me sis as the mother of two sons what a blessing it would have been to let them spend the time under the custody of their father to keep them in check let me tell u sister, when kids get to puberty they do not listen to their mothers anymore..especially the boys they can be difficult to deal with if the mother doesnt have their father to back them up, plus they find it hard to adjust to the new man in the house its better they are with their own father.

so in an ideal islamic world one that was lived by all muslims according to Allah as his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam u would see ur kids every day, get to do all the fun stuff with them, then hand them back to daddy to deal with all the difficult stuff. u wouldnt miss anything, it would actually give u a chance to get to know your new husband and u would be safe in the knowledge that ur practising muslim ex-husband was taking good care of your sons for the night.

problem is today not all the muslims are being islamic. so thats why it makes u worried sis, but trust in Allah ta ala, because there are always a party of muslims on the truth Alhamdulillah so we have to strive hard insha Allah to follow the commands of Allah and his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam,knowing that in them is great wisdom for mankind Alhamdulillah

[heaven2002]

in many cases the father wil decide he doesnt want the children to live with him anyway , either because of a new marriage or he cant look after them bcoz of work or the children want to stay with their mother

[`asiya]

in many cases the father wil decide he doesnt want the children to live with him anyway , either because of a new marriage or he cant look after them bcoz of work or the children want to stay with their mother



exactly sis :jkk: every case is flexible according to the parents circumstances, and will be judged by the qadhi, and ruled upon as such insha Allah ta ala.

[MMS]

i fink the wife shud have told him to get lost and kept the house and his money :)

[`asiya]

i fink the wife shud have told him to get lost and kept the house and his money :)

islamically that woman would get a good inheritance from his wealth to care for her children after her was stoned to death for his confession of adultery :up:

[MMS]

islamically that woman would get a good inheritance from his wealth to care for her children after her was stoned to death for his confession of adultery :up:

that would be ideal :o

[Asmara]

ya ukhti dont say that, look remember that Islam is a whole yes, and what we see from the muslims today is not islam, and this is why women are being driven to these lengths by injustice, but that doesnt make it right what they do because we have been told all aspects of our deen and we musnt make marriage difficult by asking for massive dowries.

ukhti in an truely islamic society no woman would ever have to worry about anything material or financial, she would never have to provide for herself at all, as she would always have a man taking care of her as Allah has said "men are the maintainers and protectors of women" so no muslim woman should not be provided for, if she gets divorced then the husbands provides for the kids and her father/uncle/granfather/brother/ or the imam/ would then have to provide for her needs. There is always a man who is supposed to be taking care of us ukhti. and when we remarry, and our sons get to about 10 years old , beleive me sis as the mother of two sons what a blessing it would have been to let them spend the time under the custody of their father to keep them in check let me tell u sister, when kids get to puberty they do not listen to their mothers anymore..especially the boys they can be difficult to deal with if the mother doesnt have their father to back them up, plus they find it hard to adjust to the new man in the house its better they are with their own father.

so in an ideal islamic world one that was lived by all muslims according to Allah as his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam u would see ur kids every day, get to do all the fun stuff with them, then hand them back to daddy to deal with all the difficult stuff. u wouldnt miss anything, it would actually give u a chance to get to know your new husband and u would be safe in the knowledge that ur practising muslim ex-husband was taking good care of your sons for the night.

problem is today not all the muslims are being islamic. so thats why it makes u worried sis, but trust in Allah ta ala, because there are always a party of muslims on the truth Alhamdulillah so we have to strive hard insha Allah to follow the commands of Allah and his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam,knowing that in them is great wisdom for mankind Alhamdulillah

Islam is fair and just but many men are not. Only an evil man would take a child from his/her mother.

[theikhlaas]

The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

Women lose their right because of the mahram situation. If the person she marries is a non-mahram to the child, then in this case she will lose her right. This info can be found here...

http://www.theikhlaas.com/projects/marriage.php

look in the 'Rights' section' under the heading 'custody of the children'.

[`asiya]

Women lose their right because of the mahram situation. If the person she marries is a non-mahram to the child, then in this case she will lose her right. This info can be found here...

http://www.theikhlaas.com/projects/marriage.php

look in the 'Rights' section' under the heading 'custody of the children'.

but when u marry a woman her daughter becomes forbidden for u in marriage for the rest of your life as Allah ta ala says :in surah nisaa 23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives' mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in - but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), - the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allâh is Oft*Forgiving, Most Merciful.



so what is the mahram issue ?

just checked ur website theres nothing in that section about custody issues. and some daif evidences have been used in the writing in regard to the ancestory of the children making an impact on the piety of the child, and saying you should marry a woman from a pious and noble family, this is not from Islam as ancestry and lineage has no place in Islam as mentioned by the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam,all of the sahabba came from mushrik impious families and even the parents of the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam were kuffar.

also there is incorrect information there about why a child resembles its parents, it says there that a child will always resemble its mother and her brothers and sisters more than the husband, this is not correct rasoolAllahu salAllahu alleyhi wa salam has said that the child resembles which ever parent omits fluids first during marital relations, and has more resembelence to that parent. so i would review that section of your website and check out the evidences for which u will find clear daleel about what has been mentioned insha Allah ta ala.

[angel*]

Islam is fair and just but many men are not. Only an evil man would take a child from his/her mother.

*nods*

mashallah sis asyia love ur posts! :inlove:

[AbuMubarak]

so when the sharee'a says that when a woman remarries, the father has better right, is that evil?

does not a man also have rights over his children?

could it even be possible that he is a better father than the woman is a mother?

this thread has really shown some of the deep rooted issues sisters have

[AbuMubarak]

The woman loses her right to her kids if she remarries? Do you have proof for this? So let me get this straight, I give birth to MY children, in excruciating pain and the father get custody of them? That does not sound Islamic to me in the least.

basic islam, 101

if you dont like it, find a Lord other than Allah to worship, surely Allah is not unjust to any of His servants


why should a man pay to have his exwife and some dude raising his kids? gimme my kids, you can go on and have kids with the newjack

there are many ways to look at this thing, it aint about who is gettin over, nobody gets over

sisters really need to reflect on their approach to islam

their attitude is damaging to them, their marriages and their children

[Asmara]

so when the sharee'a says that when a woman remarries, the father has better right, is that evil?

does not a man also have rights over his children?

could it even be possible that he is a better father than the woman is a mother?

this thread has really shown some of the deep rooted issues sisters have

A mother has 3 times the right over a child than his/her father.

Of course the Sharia is not evil. There is a good reason for every law. I'm just trying to figure out this one. Brother/Sister theikhlaas and sis asiya made things clearer, may Allah bless them.

[Asmara]

basic islam, 101

if you dont like it, find a Lord other than Allah to worship, surely Allah is not unjust to any of His servants



Did you really have to say this? You went a little overboard with this comment.

Islam is a logical religion. You have to ask questions in order to get an understanding of the religion. As far as I'm aware there is a reason behind every rule.

[AbuMubarak]

a mother does NOT have three times the right of anything

the prophet said honor and respect

not rights

lets just make up things to support our ideas

[Mujaheedah]

Wow... nice story. Almost made me cry.. almost ..because I don't cry.:D

[AbuMubarak]

Did you really have to say this? You went a little overboard with this comment.

Islam is a logical religion. You have to ask questions in order to get an understanding of the religion. As far as I'm aware there is a reason behind every rule.
excuse me

the Prophet said, that whosoever is displeased with the trials and tribulations that Allah puts him thru, tell him to find a Lord other than Allah to worship

you think thats mean? thats not mean, it gets the point across crystal clear

if you dont like what is happening, complain to Allah, of which is silly, and thats the point

read emaans signature, it also says the same thing



you guys mistake wishywashy for compassion, they are not the same

[Asmara]

a mother does NOT have three times the right of anything

the prophet said honor and respect

not rights

lets just make up things to support our ideas



Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. "

If a mother and a father have the same status in Islam, paradise would not be under the the feet of one's mother.

[Abu Mus'ab]

Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. "

If a mother and a father have the same status in Islam, paradise would not be under the the feet of one's mother.
That's what happens when people try and interprete Islam themselves :smack:

Do you know that your father is your center door to jannah?

[AbuMubarak]

they dont undersand the difference between respecting and obeying

who does YOUR MOTHER have to listen to?

so it all falls back to the man being the leader, which means he MUST act like a leader, and that he is responsible for everyone under him

including his children, and if his ex remarries, he is still responsible for them, though they must still honor their mother

[Amaara]

That's what happens when people try and interprete Islam themselves :smack:

Do you know that your father is your center door to jannah?

No I didn't...could you tell us all more about that?

[Asmara]

That's what happens when people try and interprete Islam themselves :smack:

Do you know that your father is your center door to jannah?

Oh! Well please interpret this hadith for us. It takes a certain type of mind to be able to understand a hadith :rolleyes: Please excuse me for my sheer ignorance.

Which hadith states that my father is my centre door to jannah?

[Abu Mus'ab]

No I didn't...could you tell us all more about that?
"Your father is the center (or best) door of paradise, so if you like guard it (by obeying him) or destroy it (by disobeying him)"

It's in both Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah.

[theikhlaas]

but when u marry a woman her daughter becomes forbidden for u in marriage for the rest of your life as Allah ta ala says :in surah nisaa 23. Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives' mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in - but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), - the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allâh is Oft*Forgiving, Most Merciful.



so what is the mahram issue ?

just checked ur website theres nothing in that section about custody issues. and some daif evidences have been used in the writing in regard to the ancestory of the children making an impact on the piety of the child, and saying you should marry a woman from a pious and noble family, this is not from Islam as ancestry and lineage has no place in Islam as mentioned by the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam,all of the sahabba came from mushrik impious families and even the parents of the prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam were kuffar.

also there is incorrect information there about why a child resembles its parents, it says there that a child will always resemble its mother and her brothers and sisters more than the husband, this is not correct rasoolAllahu salAllahu alleyhi wa salam has said that the child resembles which ever parent omits fluids first during marital relations, and has more resembelence to that parent. so i would review that section of your website and check out the evidences for which u will find clear daleel about what has been mentioned insha Allah ta ala.


You need to state references and which school of thought you follow as we follow the Hanafi school of thought. You can find the

just checked ur website theres nothing in that section about custody issues.

look under the 'Rights | Huquq' section in the 'Marital Bliss' tool and it will be the 5th topic under that section.

www.theikhlaas.com/projects/marriage.php

[AbuMubarak]

No I didn't...could you tell us all more about that?

amaara, who did your avatar?

[algharib]

I found this story to be so beautiful, as well lessons to be derived from...felt good ater reading it yesterday only to reach home and learn that my big brother had just divorced his lovely wife of 15 years, subuhanalah this made me sad.Pls make dua for them to make up...barakallahu feekum.

Alhamdulilaah my brother and his wife are back again...

[Khadija222333]

Alhamdulilaah my brother and his wife are back again...

Alhamdulillah

[NailaC]

Alhamdulillah, that is good news.

[muslimahonline]

Men are naturally polygamus. Wouldnt it be better if the husband just told her that no matter what happens he will NEVER divorce her that he appreciates the 10 years of sacrifies that he has fallen pity for a woman in need and would like to protect her too. How many women are widows and single mums just because women dont agree to polygamy? How many childnre grow up without father figures because women dont agree with polygamy? ALLAH gave this rights to men as HE IS ALL WISE. WHo are we to defy HIS ruling. Women's greatest challenge is to obey their husbands, That is why The Prophet SAW said ( rough translation as I dont have the exact hadeeth in front of me now) that to the solehah women who are obedient to their husbands, who their husbands redha till their deaths CHOOSE between the seven heavens, women have the easiest way to enter paradise, Just OBEY our pious husbands!

[Abu Mus'ab]

amaara, who did your avatar?
erm that would be me, did i do something wrong? :rubeyes:

[Khadija222333]

erm that would be me, did i do something wrong? :rubeyes:

U did it?! That looks sooo cool Masha Allah.

[peace2u]

Nice story. In the end, the lady saved her marriage and family, which is the most important lesson of the story. The husband may or may not change but in the end, he tried. As far as the children are concerned, just because your children go to live with their fatahers does not mean they are taken from you or that you lose them. Actually, it makes it easier for the woman to remarry and a lot safer for the children, especially daughters. Let's face it, men are men and their eyes will wander as girls become women. One thing is for sure, if more men had to take care and custody of their kids, there may be fewer divorces. Having a bunch of kids may deter some women from marrying a divorcee especially if she has never been married before.


Peace

[muslimahonline]

Women are to breastfeed their babies for 2 years, and in these 2 years whether she is still married or divorced, the husband or ex-husband MUST provide for her as if she was his wife. Below 7 years of age, children are supposed to stay with the mother and the father has to provide for them as long as she cares for them, after 7 years the child(children) are given the right to choose who to live with. HUsbands who truly obey this ruling will think twice before divorcing as they still must provide for their children and the mother who is caring for them. If ex-husbands were to care for their children, who would provide of rtheir ex-wives? This ruling is a protection for mothers. If the ex-husband cannot afford to do so, then it is the responsibility of the maharam ( brother,s father, uncles ) to provide, if none, the family, if none her neighbours, if none the community. Baitul Mal was a practised at the time of the Prophet SAW and sahabahs where they collect donations and provide for the poor and needy. These days we live it to the governemnt. When was the last time any of us asked ou neighbour or sister or brother or mother or father or friend if she or he had enough to last her / him for the next few days?

Wallahu'alam

[Abu Mus'ab]

U did it?! That looks sooo cool Masha Allah.
erm no not her current one, i didn't make that, Abu Mubarak asked about her previous one (like LFC and tru muslimah has)

I don't know who made her current one.

[Lost_Princess]

that was a beautiful story im not one for romantic stuff but it got to me

[Abandoned-Mind]

that was a beautiful story im not one for romantic stuff but it got to me

Says the girl with a pink diamond avatar, pink writing, and purple sig?

[`asiya]

Women are to breastfeed their babies for 2 years, and in these 2 years whether she is still married or divorced, the husband or ex-husband MUST provide for her as if she was his wife. Below 7 years of age, children are supposed to stay with the mother and the father has to provide for them as long as she cares for them, after 7 years the child(children) are given the right to choose who to live with. HUsbands who truly obey this ruling will think twice before divorcing as they still must provide for their children and the mother who is caring for them. If ex-husbands were to care for their children, who would provide of rtheir ex-wives? This ruling is a protection for mothers. If the ex-husband cannot afford to do so, then it is the responsibility of the maharam ( brother,s father, uncles ) to provide, if none, the family, if none her neighbours, if none the community. Baitul Mal was a practised at the time of the Prophet SAW and sahabahs where they collect donations and provide for the poor and needy. These days we live it to the governemnt. When was the last time any of us asked ou neighbour or sister or brother or mother or father or friend if she or he had enough to last her / him for the next few days?

Wallahu'alam

:up: :jkk:

[Lost_Princess]

Says the girl with a pink diamond avatar, pink writing, and purple sig?

have u got a problem with my pink avatar, pink diamond and purple sig or r u just making fun of me huh?:):):up::D

[Abu Mus'ab]

have u got a problem with my pink avatar, pink diamond and purple sig or r u just making fun of me huh?:):):up::D
You're misunderstanding him, you said "i'm not one for romantic stuff", so what he was saying is how can someone who has a pink diamond avatar, type in pink, and have a purple signature (with hearts in) not be one interested in romantic stuff? if that made sense :scratch:

[peace2u]

It only proves she's girly not romantic :rolleyes:


Peace

[UZMA KHALID]

salam


nice story, good ending :up:



bye

[Abu Mus'ab]

It only proves she's girly not romantic :rolleyes:


Peace
Well blame Abandoned Mind, cos he said it not me :rubeyes:

[muslim_sis]

wow subhanAllah..that woman had alot of patience, i dunno how she did it.but she did mashaAllah.
uhuh mashallah may allah reward her !

[sunrise]

subhallah v touching jzk

we all forget sometimes but in any relationship the smamm details r the most significant

[Abandoned-Mind]

It only proves she's girly not romantic :rolleyes:


Peace

How many "girly" girls do you know who do want some tall handsome guy in a black suit (Or camoflourge thawb) blah blah....

Or the rich football star..(Anasheed singer)...

sure you've heard the rest.

Lost_Princess - I have no problem sister nor I'm I making fun of you...

[krystal~sky]

you women,sheeeesh

first off, there is no such thing as a man "cheating" on his wife in islam

he either marries a second time, or he commits adultery, which is a sin between him and His Lord, but he is not "cheating" on his wife, he is sinning

you girls gotta give up that christian/kufr idea of marriage and relationships, because it not only infects YOUR mind, but you will pass that garbage on to another generation of young sisters

I disagree with you, when a married man has a romantic relationship with another woman it does mean cheating on his wife. That's why the punishment for such a crime is so severe...stoning to death (in case of a country ruled by Islam). If it was just " a sin between him and his Lord" then Allah wouldn't put down such a strong punishment for it.

Our minds aren't infected Alhamdulillah and I think you need to address the subject more respectfully instead of attacking women. A woman has the complete right to feel angry if her husband cheats on her and it's not "kufr" and she's not the one to blame!

[krystal~sky]

wow subhanAllah..that woman had alot of patience, i dunno how she did it.but she did mashaAllah.

I agree! Mashallah I think I would immediately ask for divorce if I found out that my husband is cheating on me by having such affairs.

[krystal~sky]

Oh and the story was very touching *tears tears*

[Taalibah 4 Life]

Yikes man,i felt slapping u,lol, only 2 find out at the end dat its not ur scenario!

indeed a lesson 2 learn from.if only evry1 cud save their marriages like this,i must say whoever does,has got all 4 of their wisdom teeth orite!
itz actually quite common,av met a few divorcees ova this week an wen u get to hear their stories u feel for the kids,coz its them that lose out,not the parents,they even get another partner but the child,poor thing,grows up without the love of both the parents,when he needs it the most.

ppl take it as such a small issue these days,not realising the consequences.

i like the way,the women has used her brains an didnt let da child knw about anything due 2 examz,unlike those who wud just slap the guy an make things worse. in such cases,u shud make the guy realise wot his getting into& pull him towards u ,like the way the women has brought him bk 2 her in a month & made him realise thats what he'd b happy with etc...
sum do realise that wot theyve done is wrong,but itz often 2 late,lets hope all those who are goin thru divorces realise like the guy in the story,b4 itz too late.

love is blind,an no one thinks at that time & doesnt realise wot they're gettin themselves into e.g early marriage etc (talking of this day n age)
itz summut that has 2 have alot of thoughts put into it an look at the consequences,will u b able 2 put up with them,all the responsibilites etc...
dnt rush into things...take ur time n do istikhara & ur investigation etc...

may Allaah grant us all a suitable spouse,a long lasting benificial marriage that others can learn from, like the... Once upon a time...& ... lived happily ever after ones..LOL!!!

P.S. erm...soz,i cnt remmeber the bro'z name,but the brother whos bro an sis inlaw hav got bk 2gether,congrats 2 them & i hope they stay 2gether an clear any misunderstanding etc...wish dem the best & a blessed marriage inshAllaah!

[3thm4n]

well fortunately according to islam your opinion has no basis... if a man divorces his wife she gets nothing apart from the mehr which she already has... she doesnt get the house... she only gets the kids if theyre below a certain age... and if she remarrys she automatically loses the right to have the children... she doesnt get half his wealth nada nothing he only has to maintain her until the iddah if im not mistaken....

LOL owned!

[$HugoBoss$]

I think I'll carry my wife too...but to the kitchen.

:scratch:

Maybe you should just bring the food to her instead :D

[MeYnot]

A very nice story.


well fortunately according to islam your opinion has no basis... if a man divorces his wife she gets nothing apart from the mehr which she already has... she doesnt get the house... she only gets the kids if theyre below a certain age... and if she remarrys she automatically loses the right to have the children... she doesnt get half his wealth nada nothing he only has to maintain her until the iddah if im not mistaken....

Marrige is a contact between two, they decide what to has eventhough there are basics one of those basics is that woman's money is hers but man's money is shared.

Who would kick a person who lived with him for sometimes out of the house, would he do that with a friend? how about someone who shared his bed, usualy the man leaves the house to her and gave her the late mahr (which they dealt on in the 1st place).

Islam has the solution, why the divorce, he (the husband) can still marry another wife and of course he need to inform his wife about that and she has to agree otherwise she is to choose either for him to marry another or to ask for a divorce.

[umm shuyookh]

Quote:
Originally Posted by AbuMubarak View Post
you women,sheeeesh

first off, there is no such thing as a man "cheating" on his wife in islam

he either marries a second time, or he commits adultery, which is a sin between him and His Lord, but he is not "cheating" on his wife, he is sinning

you girls gotta give up that christian/kufr idea of marriage and relationships, because it not only infects YOUR mind, but you will pass that garbage on to another generation of young sisters

I disagree with you, when a married man has a romantic relationship with another woman it does mean cheating on his wife. That's why the punishment for such a crime is so severe...stoning to death (in case of a country ruled by Islam). If it was just " a sin between him and his Lord" then Allah wouldn't put down such a strong punishment for it.

Our minds aren't infected Alhamdulillah and I think you need to address the subject more respectfully instead of attacking women. A woman has the complete right to feel angry if her husband cheats on her and it's not "kufr" and she's not the one to blame!

where did brother abu mubarak get this thot that there is nothing like a man cheating on his wife in islam? if non muslims call it cheating, then it is worse than cheating for a muslim man; someone Allah has given the right to rightfully enjoy the love and company of four women at a time? what more could anyone ask for?

[Suliman]

I think most people are missing the point. It's kinda saying learn from others mistakes. Keep your relationship fresh and alive. Do the fun things that were from the early days to make you feel young and keep the intimacy.

True the man in the story is a complete idiot at first, but people make mistake, we all do, you learn from them and the story is saying learn from the husbands mistake and keep the relationship alive.

Alhumdulilah, I'm very lucky as me and my wife have been together for over 13 years and we still feel like there is so much to learn. You have to notice the new things and really appreciate them.