View Full Version : Guys: how big an issue is weight in prospective brides?
Salaamz, heya!
2 all the guys out thr - wots ur opinion - is weight a big issue...wud u expect her 2 chnge l8tr on....?
N, girls, r u conscience of ur weight cuz of future marriage proposals......wud u chnge ur size 4 him.....?
:jkk:
Tax-Man
26-06-07, 02:52 PM
A BIG issue no pun intended.
Bint_Khalid
26-06-07, 02:53 PM
NOT again :rolleyes::smack:
urban_rose
26-06-07, 02:53 PM
:scratch: shouldnt this be in the marriage section?
.: hayat :.
26-06-07, 02:58 PM
Salaamz, heya!
2 all the guys out thr - wots ur opinion - is weight a big issue...wud u expect her 2 chnge l8tr on....?
N, girls, r u conscience of ur weight cuz of future marriage proposals......wud u chnge ur size 4 him.....?
:jkk:
i always had same weight no matter wht i ate..and think no need to change it as i think is not so bad..maybe i would need around 2 kilos more but no big thing i suppose..:torture:so marrying won't change nothing as i have no effort to do abt weight..
muwahid
26-06-07, 02:59 PM
weight shouldnt be a major issue, unless its maybe life threatning.
munyeka
26-06-07, 03:00 PM
i think this question depends on what your weight is..................personally, as a sister im happy with myself the way i am, alhumdollilah.
But if i was fat it would really bother generally in terms of health and other issues.
After marriage, given we have a good relationship, I would make the effort to maintain my current weight. A wife has to keep her husband happy............right?:up:
ABDELTAWWAB
26-06-07, 03:09 PM
I would make the effort to maintain my current weight. :insha: in'shaa'ALLAH
:salams Ukhtee Munyeka
For God's sake people...
weight, colour, complexion, race...ain't there something better to chat about?
:scratch: shouldnt this be in the marriage section?
yeh - soz it shud - my mistake
Tax-Man
26-06-07, 03:12 PM
For God's sake people...
weight, colour, complexion, race...ain't there something better to chat about? Super-Massive Black-Holes maybe?
insomniac
26-06-07, 03:13 PM
A BIG issue no pun intended.
are you joking me? :rolleyes:
Tax-Man
26-06-07, 03:14 PM
are you joking me? :rolleyes:Nope:o
Mmmm in a way, cz apart from being a clean freak i also happen to a b a health freak!!!!
so its :hidban: <<< 4x a week 4 him if hez overweight!!!!
You obviously need to be attracted to the person you're going to marry. Some men find large women unattractive, whilst others in some cultures feel that is extremely desirable and vice versa.
Some women naturally gain more weight than others, and at a faster rate and hence cannot shed that much weight naturally, or with just will power.
It's sad to say this, but large women are most commonly found undesirable in most societies
AbuMusaab
26-06-07, 03:16 PM
It's important because a person's weight is a reflection of their habits.
insomniac
26-06-07, 03:16 PM
Nope:o
I guess that's your personal opinion and I respect that....
sometimes you gota look beyond the physical appearance cos you could get a beautiful person with a butt-ugly personality
insomniac
26-06-07, 03:17 PM
It's important because a person's weight is a reflection of their habits.
clinical problems?
peace2u
26-06-07, 03:19 PM
NOT again :rolleyes::smack:
:rolleyes: this topic is tired :zzz:
Peace
munyeka
26-06-07, 03:21 PM
As the above post says........you need to be mutually attracted to each other. I have friends who are short and quite plump, yet theyre married and they make the most cutest couple.
But I wouldnt imagine myself with a overly overweight man. As much as it applies to women, the weight thing applies to men as well. In the same way I dont find skinny men attractive either.
That doesnt make me a shallow person................its jut whatever rocks the individuals boat really isnt it.
But after marriage.....id hope to love my husband for the man he is, as we were ordained to be together....even if he does get fat becuz of my cooking. And id expect the same treatment from him as well!:)
I guess that's your personal opinion and I respect that....
sometimes you gota look beyond the physical appearance
:up:
It's a wonder why we men have such specific demands on what we'd want in a woman, where we mostly don't have any physical attributes that women would want. Generally speaking, ofcourse *dont want to get attacked*
Cristiana
26-06-07, 03:23 PM
Salaamz, heya!
2 all the guys out thr - wots ur opinion - is weight a big issue...wud u expect her 2 chnge l8tr on....?
N, girls, r u conscience of ur weight cuz of future marriage proposals......wud u chnge ur size 4 him.....?
:jkk:
NO and NO.
"I'll marry you if you lose/put on 20 pound"... sounds like cattle market to me.
Cristiana
26-06-07, 03:28 PM
:up:
It's a wonder why we men have such specific demands on what we'd want in a woman, where we mostly don't have any physical attributes that women would want. Generally.
I wasn't gonna say that but since you brought it up... I totally agree:up:
This is very annoying for me as, where I come from, women are under HUGE pressure not to become fat (= size 12 or above!...) and in the common imagery all expectations that exist are those of men from women and women TAKE IT!
women there think the fact this silly expectations are unilateral is totally natural: "Woman looks for man that makes her laugh. Man looks for woman with such and such measurements/hair lenght and colour/skin shade etc...".
:torture:
Honey87
26-06-07, 03:31 PM
It's all down to personal preference at the end of the day. let's just leave it at that.
:up:
It's a wonder why we men have such specific demands on what we'd want in a woman, where we mostly don't have any physical attributes that women would want. Generally speaking, ofcourse *dont want to get attacked*
:up:
I wasn't gonna say that but since you brought it up... I totally agree:up:
This is very annoying for me as, where I come from, women are under HUGE pressure not to become fat (= size 12 or above!...) and in the common imagery all expectations that exist are those of men from women and women TAKE IT!
women there think the fact this silly expectations are unilateral is totally natural: "Woman looks for man that makes her laugh. Man looks for woman with such and such measurements/hair lenght and colour/skin shade etc...".
:torture:
Although having said that, I think women naturally are concious of their appearance. Some non-Muslim women routinely have breast enlargement operations simply because they are insecure of their appearance and consequently of themselves.
If one day you have a daughter, she will understand the social norm of what a "beautiful" woman, or atleast what men see as that, would be and she might feel that she doesn't fit into that category - even though she's had no gentlemen callers :coolbro: It's like this natural anxiety for them and it stems from how they perceive their appearance.
For example..
Let's say I choose someone to marry and although most men would find her unattractive, I would tell her "I find you beautiful". She may appreciate that sentiment and not doubt it as a lie, but still she might not feel totally comfortable with her appearance because she does not think of herself as "beautiful".
You deal with the cards ya dealt :rolleyes: my god people are so obsessed with the superficial these days its unreal! I find it amusing that people are so fussy over looks when god forbid should something happen to your spouse after youre married to them such as losing a limb or one of their senses is impaired... would you then leave them? Maybe then you should wonder what it is about that person that youre going for in the first place. Dont feel arrogance and pride over yourselves... Allah is the one who gives it, He is the one who can also take it away from you in a second. Concentrate on the person's heart.. because thats what defines them inshaAllah :)
People should take care of themselves i agree... but judging people on height/weight/looks/bank balance.. what the heck is that about? Get a lifeeee :D
You deal with the cards ya dealt :rolleyes: my god people are so obsessed with the superficial these days its unreal! I find it amusing that people are so fussy over looks when god forbid should something happen to your spouse after youre married to them such as losing a limb or one of their senses is impaired... would you then leave them? Maybe then you should wonder what it is about that person that youre going for in the first place. Dont feel arrogance and pride over yourselves... Allah is the one who gives it, He is the one who can also take it away from you in a second. Concentrate on the person's heart.. because thats what defines them inshaAllah :)
People should take care of themselves i agree... but judging people on height/weight/looks/bank balance.. what the heck is that about? Get a lifeeee :D
But the thing is, you don't know this person. If you did, then their appearance would not matter because you value them from what you know of them.
If you know close to nothing about them however, you take whatever you can hear, and see.
But the thing is, you don't know this person. If you did, then their appearance would not matter because you value them from what you know of them.
If you know close to nothing about them however, you take whatever you can hear, and see.
Personal preferences are fine Kally.. aslong as it doesnt beocme judgemental :D
Anyway ugly blokes are the best :rofl1: they have personality!
*hayat*
26-06-07, 04:01 PM
i always had same weight no matter wht i ate..and think no need to change it as i think is not so bad..maybe i would need around 2 kilos more but no big thing i suppose..:torture:so marrying won't change nothing as i have no effort to do abt weight..
hey! thats not fair...you are so lucky you can eat anything and as much as you want...:( .maybe you should put this in talent thread as ur talent!!
Cristiana
26-06-07, 04:31 PM
You deal with the cards ya dealt :rolleyes: my god people are so obsessed with the superficial these days its unreal! I find it amusing that people are so fussy over looks when god forbid should something happen to your spouse after youre married to them such as losing a limb or one of their senses is impaired... would you then leave them? Maybe then you should wonder what it is about that person that youre going for in the first place. Dont feel arrogance and pride over yourselves... Allah is the one who gives it, He is the one who can also take it away from you in a second. Concentrate on the person's heart.. because thats what defines them inshaAllah :)
People should take care of themselves i agree... but judging people on height/weight/looks/bank balance.. what the heck is that about? Get a lifeeee :D
...half a dozen pregnancies anyone? :)
Personal preferences are fine Kally.. aslong as it doesnt beocme judgemental :D
Anyway ugly blokes are the best :rofl1: they have personality!
Be sure to past that onto your Wali :up:
Be sure to past that onto your Wali :up:
:crying: wont make any difference.. my wali thinks im too "sensible"
:crying: wont make any difference.. my wali thinks im too "sensible"
:rubeyes: i wonder where he got that idea 4rm :scratch:
just messin' sweetie!:p
Medievalist
26-06-07, 04:51 PM
Aint a MAJOR issue unless its really bad. Personally speaking - I never saw her before marriage so cant have been that big of issue for me - but I can understand how for some it is.
Everyone has their own preferences - some prefer real skinny, some prefer real fat, some prefer in the middle.
Having said that - I think its unrealistic to expect yr wife/husband to have the same body size after 5 years of marriage. Things always change - and if she has children then you should expect her to become heavier.
rmba tho bones are nt comfy to cuddle n a bit of fat will always keep u warm lol
:crying: wont make any difference.. my wali thinks im too "sensible"
:scratch: I don't get it
Peacenik
26-06-07, 05:06 PM
I want her to weigh like an elephant.
Am I normal ?
Peacenik
26-06-07, 05:07 PM
Anyway ugly blokes are the best :rofl1: they have personality!
Hey, don't forget ugly chicks too :D
Hey, don't forget ugly chicks too :D
ermm bro... thats haraam.. not my kinda thing likeee
Medievalist
26-06-07, 05:08 PM
Anyway ugly blokes are the best :rofl1: they have personality!
I must be a gem then :rotfl:
:hidban:
I must be a gem then :rotfl:
:hidban:
Muahahahaha! :D
lol! :nerdbro: :rotfl:
:jkk:
insomniac
26-06-07, 07:30 PM
talking of big....ITV3 fat brides.....some of the food facts are craaaazzyyy :rubeyes:
Islamiyyah
26-06-07, 07:31 PM
Why is this such an issue? What about her Imaan? SubhanAllah Im so tired of this crap (rubbish :rolleyes: ).
Guys... the bigger your bride, the bigger reward you get...
RashidD
27-06-07, 05:55 AM
Guys... the bigger your bride, the bigger reward you get...
Expanation please...
Expanation please...
Means if you can see her beyond her size... means you have big heart... so the bigger the size, the bigger your heart, the bigger the reward...:D
Means if you can see her beyond her size... means you have big heart... so the bigger the size, the bigger your heart, the bigger the reward...:D
awww dats soo sweet! :inlove:
Bint_Khalid
27-06-07, 10:41 AM
Means if you can see her beyond her size... means you have big heart... so the bigger the size, the bigger your heart, the bigger the reward...:D
lol :D
why is it that people are so picky about how a girl looks and how fat/skinny she is wen they guy could hav a noticible potbelly but no one even cares its always about the girl being too skinny or too fat :rolleyes:
munyeka
28-06-07, 12:18 PM
Does MUTUAL ATTRACTION mean anything to anyone on this post???
Would a pretty, slim sister find a pot bellied man attractive...............i know i wouldnt!! and yes it is important.
Its not the primary factor, but to those who say its not importnat at all, you live in shrouded world.
And yes it is Allah who places the love and mercy between the heart of the spouses,
but a husband needs to be pleased when he sees his wife right.......?
and the wife needs to find her husband attractive enough to make the effort for him.................right?:D
jinokhanum
28-06-07, 12:40 PM
i don't mind if the guy is ugly (i think) but as oong as he is a nice caring good muslim, (i'm not exactly gorgeos)- and i would force hime to eat healthy and exercise!!!!
insomniac
28-06-07, 01:28 PM
i don't mind if the guy is ugly (i think) but as oong as he is a nice caring good muslim, (i'm not exactly gorgeos)- and i would force hime to eat healthy and exercise!!!!
:scratch:
overweight does not automatically mean ugly
insomniac
13-07-08, 01:56 AM
it's so ironic how most women don't see weight as too much of an issue and most guys want a supermodel wife :rolleyes:
Metroid
13-07-08, 02:21 AM
Salaamz, heya!
2 all the guys out thr - wots ur opinion - is weight a big issue...wud u expect her 2 chnge l8tr on....?
N, girls, r u conscience of ur weight cuz of future marriage proposals......wud u chnge ur size 4 him.....?
:jkk:
This thread is a tricky "would you":rolleyes:, nice try:)
Its not a problem to me. In fact, I had been rejected by an obese sister before:(
it's so ironic how most women don't see weight as too much of an issue and most guys want a supermodel wife :rolleyes:
And the ones who want a supermodel wife are not more of a looker themselves :rolleyes:
Neurostyler
13-07-08, 11:30 AM
Either partner being overweight and verging on the obese suggests they aren't eating healthily. Obese people often have difficulty conceiving.
sunrise
13-07-08, 11:58 AM
it's so ironic how most women don't see weight as too much of an issue and most guys want a supermodel wife :rolleyes:
You know men or some 'brothers' need to get a reality check, and realise the women they see on tv are not real they don't exsist in real life.
If they realised that just as they are not like the men on tv nor are women like the women on tv.
I spoke to a sister once who was looking for her brother a proposal, and asking me if i knew of anyone, subhanAllah he wanted a 'supermodel' stick thin with all the bumps in the 'right places' and for her to be a hafidha and an alima. :smack: I'm sorry i think he must have thought he was in Jannah because on Earth people like that don't exsist.
Just as the opposite most likely does not.
I think brothers understand that women are not perfect and stop thinking they will look like what is on tv because once you see those women in real life you will be so greatful for your wife she is a million times better!
And sisters, relax don't think that omg i'm not getting married i got a few spots and a marks on my legs etc cause chances are he has them too! we are human we cut ourselves and we have acne and weight problems and everything else.
Be healthy and be happy:)
-Shamil-
13-07-08, 12:01 PM
it's so ironic how most women don't see weight as too much of an issue and most guys want a supermodel wife :rolleyes:
i think its strange how women seem to think they know what most guys want...
insomniac
13-07-08, 01:03 PM
i think its strange how women seem to think they know what most guys want...
just seems to be something I keep coming across.
Maybe you're not one of them guys, but a large and ever growing number of guys seem to want 'supermodels'
-Shamil-
13-07-08, 01:38 PM
just seems to be something I keep coming across.
Maybe you're not one of them guys, but a large and ever growing number of guys seem to want 'supermodels'
kafir guys maybe?
and how well do you know them that theyre just randomly telling ya, "yeah when i get married its gonna be to a supermodel" ? im not having a go...im just saying your talking rubbish :p
Im a naturally skinny and exercise regularly just to keep fit and I dont want to marry someone who is overweight.
Nothing wrong with overweight people, dont think I'm hating or anything!
RashidD
13-07-08, 01:44 PM
You know men or some 'brothers' need to get a reality check, and realise the women they see on tv are not real they don't exsist in real life.
If they realised that just as they are not like the men on tv nor are women like the women on tv.
I spoke to a sister once who was looking for her brother a proposal, and asking me if i knew of anyone, subhanAllah he wanted a 'supermodel' stick thin with all the bumps in the 'right places' and for her to be a hafidha and an alima. :smack: I'm sorry i think he must have thought he was in Jannah because on Earth people like that don't exsist.
Just as the opposite most likely does not.
I think brothers understand that women are not perfect and stop thinking they will look like what is on tv because once you see those women in real life you will be so greatful for your wife she is a million times better!
And sisters, relax don't think that omg i'm not getting married i got a few spots and a marks on my legs etc cause chances are he has them too! we are human we cut ourselves and we have acne and weight problems and everything else.
Be healthy and be happy:)
That's a good post, but it goes the other way too.
bhatti00
13-07-08, 01:44 PM
as long as she's not really fat, as in fat fat. then its all good. :up:
-Shamil-
13-07-08, 01:57 PM
i wouldnt mind marrying a girl with a bit of fat lol but i dont think i could marry any of those stick-thin people...all bones, and pointy shoulders - i cant believe some people chose to look like that :(
insomniac
13-07-08, 02:03 PM
kafir guys maybe?
and how well do you know them that theyre just randomly telling ya, "yeah when i get married its gonna be to a supermodel" ? im not having a go...im just saying your talking rubbish :p
my brothers, cousins, family friends - even other sisters have noticed this.... I guess it's more of a Pakistani thing then.
-Shamil-
13-07-08, 02:09 PM
my brothers, cousins, family friends - even other sisters have noticed this.... I guess it's more of a Pakistani thing then.
ok
still think its a bit wierd tho...but each to his own :up:
abdulhakeem
13-07-08, 02:31 PM
as long as she's not really fat, as in fat fat. then its all good. :up: some ppl see it this way:
the fatter she is the more wife you ll get for your mahr :D
sis_niqabi
13-07-08, 04:17 PM
Salam
i wouldn't mind marrying a man who is a little chubby. but if he is like huge then no. im very obessed about weight, so if im going to be keeping myself slim and fit i would expect the same thing from my husband.
i think there is too much of a double standard in our soceity how women are expected to be slim and toned yet it is exceptable for a man to have a belly the size of a beach ball.
and on TV you see it all the time. the husband is fat but the wife is like a size 0
See i wouldn't mind, but there'd be problems, like i'm an active and healthy person, that might to lead problems, as i encourage everybody else to be healthy and active, for example me and my mum walk a mile or so, just to keep her fit, so if shes willing to be working out and has that sort of will power, then why not, of course the element of attractiveness will be there when deciding.
perfectpearl
13-07-08, 05:11 PM
I have 4 brothers and each of them dont or didnt want a huge wife for sure. Not a supermodel, but just someone with average weight.
scribble
13-07-08, 05:14 PM
Forget what the husband thinks. I wouldn't want to be fat. :(
People want me to put on weight, if my husband to me (if I get one) asks me to get fatter, I'll flip.
Oh and I wouldn't mind my husband to be a bit ...more than average.. If he is.. nothing that is health threatening though.. or overweight. No overweight husband.
Salam
i wouldn't mind marrying a man who is a little chubby. but if he is like huge then no. im very obessed about weight, so if im going to be keeping myself slim and fit i would expect the same thing from my husband.
i think there is too much of a double standard in our soceity how women are expected to be slim and toned yet it is exceptable for a man to have a belly the size of a beach ball.
and on TV you see it all the time. the husband is fat but the wife is like a size 0
Funny thing is with some married couples, when the wife is pregnant, the husband gains weight too. Why the heck is that? :torture:
i wouldnt mind marrying a girl with a bit of fat lol but i dont think i could marry any of those stick-thin people...all bones, and pointy shoulders - i cant believe some people chose to look like that :(
I hate the way people think it is wrong to make fun of fat people but ok to take the **** out of slim people.
-Shamil-
13-07-08, 05:39 PM
I hate the way people think it is wrong to make fun of fat people but ok to take the **** out of slim people.
so do i, we should take the ****out of both
:salams
For me weight is a non-issue as long as it is not to the extent of causing medical problems. Weight doesn't necessarily determine whether people will be attracted to each other.
*hijab*
13-07-08, 08:42 PM
Funny thing is with some married couples, when the wife is pregnant, the husband gains weight too. Why the heck is that? :torture:
LOOOOOL
sum men get big bellys (BIG FAT DID) coz their wives feed them too much maybe...dnt know about the pregnancy thing though...
LOOOOOL
sum men get big bellys (BIG FAT DID) coz their wives feed them too much maybe...dnt know about the pregnancy thing though...
Comfort eating to deal with their wives' moodswings :p
Comfort eating to deal with their wives' moodswings :p
I am soooo glad that someone else said that because I almost did :rotfl:
:p it's true though right? Somebody once told me that pregnant women had as many hormones as a normal woman does in 3 years :eek:
*hijab*
13-07-08, 10:28 PM
Comfort eating to deal with their wives' moodswings :p
lol yeah maybe :rolleyes:
:p it's true though right? Somebody once told me that pregnant women had as many hormones as a normal woman does in 3 years :eek:
ummm yeah...I'm only 43 and there's a reason why my hair is mostly white now. Living in a house with 5 females is enough to turn any man's hair white :D
squidster
14-07-08, 11:11 AM
weight is not an issue for me :)
coz i know she will lose weight when she is with me :hidban:
LastFriday
14-07-08, 03:10 PM
In ways yes. I would like my spouse to be phit phat.
*hijab*
14-07-08, 03:34 PM
weight is not an issue for me :)
coz i know she will lose weight when she is with me :hidban:
u gna make her exercise????
Ruprecht
14-07-08, 04:41 PM
How big an issue it is depends on how big the bride is.
Still... more is more.
Butterfly18
14-07-08, 06:49 PM
hmmmmmmmm yes but no but yes but no.
a brother needz to marry ME as a whole person. the whole package brother:up: otherwise get da steppin. das why i think da niqaab is da most genius thing everrrrr. i wud advice every woman to wear it. no man or woman shud set the rules on your beauty. keep it covered. keep them curious
the whole package
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
Of Beauty - Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)
tayfah-mansurah
15-07-08, 01:48 AM
yes it is a MAJOR issue, especially if brides fatness makes you unattracted to her. its not fair for the girls to let themselves go, when guys work like a dog to keep in shape
Salaamz, heya!
2 all the guys out thr - wots ur opinion - is weight a big issue...wud u expect her 2 chnge l8tr on....?
N, girls, r u conscience of ur weight cuz of future marriage proposals......wud u chnge ur size 4 him.....?
:jkk:
tayfah-mansurah
15-07-08, 01:50 AM
hmmmmmmmm yes but no but yes but no.
no man or woman shud set the rules on your beauty. keep it covered. keep them curious
then what happens after marriage and husband is in for a big shock! lol
Cartman
15-07-08, 01:50 AM
big issue...
I dont want them to be fat...
some ppl see it this way:
the fatter she is the more wife you ll get for your mahr :D
nice way to look at it :coolbro:
Kasim2k7
15-07-08, 10:51 AM
Big issue for me. Dont like fat. Thats my opinion like most of the guys
Norton360
15-07-08, 11:32 AM
I think thats such a shallow way to look at things. Weight is a temporary issue and obsessive weight can always be lost by the prospective bride. If on the other hand it was a permanent feauture (ie disability) then the question raised would be understandable. Why is weight an issue in society in general. Lets be honest kids love flab surfing (ie cuddly people) we need more of them around!:D
Ur sis in Islam
15-07-08, 12:01 PM
I think thats such a shallow way to look at things. Weight is a temporary issue and obsessive weight can always be lost by the prospective bride. If on the other hand it was a permanent feauture (ie disability) then the question raised would be understandable. Why is weight an issue in society in general. Lets be honest kids love flab surfing (ie cuddly people) we need more of them around!:D
I totally agree, weight is a temporary issue, it can go up and down at any time! therefore it woudn't really be an issue for me personally, but everyone has there own personal references, of course! but if its affecting the person's health, then its a no no!! after all to be healthy is the number one prioroty, theres nothing wrong with having a bit of flab here and there! you could look at it as having your own human sized teddybear!!:inlove:
*hijab*
15-07-08, 03:02 PM
then what happens after marriage and husband is in for a big shock! lol
oh well :rolleyes: LOL
nah inshallah a man wudnt marry a woman if he didnt like wot he saw i think
-Shamil-
16-07-08, 12:15 AM
theres n'owt wrong with a short-arse :1peace: (i believe thats the technical term for the littl'uns)
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