**** life

[why me!]

yeah read the title its exacli what im gonna say... basically my life is gettin worse by the day... im nearly 19 years old and as i read more about islamic stuff i seem to be gettin more fustrated with my life... i know alot of stuff, i try to read my namaz but i read bout 3/4 times a day and after every namaz i read i read about 2 pages of the Quran. after that i dont feel satisfied, i just feel lyk **** after wards.

ive had many problems since i was a child and my parents werent helpful, they always had negative views towards me, called me names, and thats why i keep my self isolated from people around me. even at school i never had any mates i kept my self to my self and not involved with anyone. even in my early teens i was at an all boiz scool and obv i didnt know any girls, but i had a few guy mates and they wernt as they seemed, they all did drugs, abd influence and i ended up things makin my parents ****ed and that. i obviously do recognize i did bad things.. but i been at college for 2 years and its been a living nightmare for me, ma dad always on my back side sayin y u not at college coz i only go to college a few days a week and then he goes to me seems like college is bull**** and u jus waste ur time.. always sayin **** to me... now got a place at uni, and im behind in my grades for tht uni and the teachers makin it hard for me to get to tha uni......

Everyday damn day im the only one who does most of the house chores coz apprently im fit and well, ma mum ent her self coz her mum passed away.. ma dad got back pains and that so he cant do much except shout at me all the time, ma bro wont do jack **** evn tho hes 17, ma sis is only 8 but she wont do anything except make a mess, i spend a few hours cleanin tha house, helpin ma mum in tha kitchen, and then ma dad says why arnt u doin ur college work, now im behind in ma college work and i doubt ill get into tha uni that i wanna go to...

i been doin loads of house chores since i was about 12 or 13 and i strtd listenin to nasheeds when i was bout 14 and i still do... i get so angry seeing that i read my namaz, read the Quran, listen to my paretns do wha teva i can and yet ma bro dusnt do any of that and hes got an easy life, doenst have to worry about anything, he only prays when he has exams and im praying everyday... it hurts me seeing him bein happy and im there struggling with life. and yeah i know that Allah tests the people he loves but how can after every hardship comes with ease if im cryin most nights and hate my life?

if the mods dont like this thread then delete it.

any suggestions from Ummah forums. J/K

[dhakiyya]

You said it in the last paragraph - Allah tests those that He loves. Allah rewards His servants, all the prayes, reading Qur'an, all ibada, all the charity you give to your family (yes doing chores for them counts as charity) all has its rewards. Keep on persevering. You may feel sad all the time now, but only Allah knows what is in the future, inshaAllah there may be a time in the future when you have a wife inshaAllah and a child or children of your own inshaAllah and inshaAllah you will be happy and look back and thank Allah that you got through the hard times inshaAllah.

Being happy is about attitude too, of course when you are under so much stress, especially worry about passing exams it is very hard to remember that - but sometimes it helps to find out about someone who has much worse problems than you, and to count your blessings. I saw a piece in a documentary about two little children, both under five, their parents died from AIDS, they were living on the streets in Africa in a city, with no-one to look after them but each other, and the little one who was just a year old, had never learned to walk because rats on the streets had eaten his toes when he was too small to get away from them. Stories like that touch your heart and make you remember however bad your problems, there are people suffering far more.

For your studies at college, have you gone to see your tutor about how you are feeling, and how you are finding it hard to do all the work as you are doing so much housework for your parents? Your tutor may be able to arrange something to help you catch up. Your tutor wants you to pass, so should be willing to help you. If your tutor can't/won't help, maybe theres another teacher in the school that can? Also, even if you don't get the grades you need for this course, first of all you can contact them to see if they will still take you anyway (some do, some don't, depends on numbers, if they are struggling to fill the course very likely they will still take you) - secondly, you can always retake your exams and re-apply to go to uni.

Also and most importantly, keep on praying and doing all your ibada, really it is the most important thing, keep on asking Allah to help you. There is no power besides Allah. Ask Allah to give you patience and help you get through these testing times, as well as asking Allah for practical help, like improving your grades etc.

[K h a l i l]

i been doin loads of house chores since i was about 12 or 13 and i strtd listenin to nasheeds when i was bout 14 and i still do... i get so angry seeing that i read my namaz, read the Quran, listen to my paretns do wha teva i can and yet ma bro dusnt do any of that and hes got an easy life, doenst have to worry about anything, he only prays when he has exams and im praying everyday... it hurts me seeing him bein happy and im there struggling with life. and yeah i know that Allah tests the people he loves but how can after every hardship comes with ease if im cryin most nights and hate my life?


He may be enjoying life now.. But considering that he only prays for exams.. Looks like you will be enjoying the after-life.. not him..

[neelu]

I think you should spend more time studying at college, even if you don't have lessons, you'd get some time and space to complete your assignments and you're less likely to fall behind with your work. Your family sound like they'll harass you no matter what you do so don't let them talk you out of staying in college longer cos' your dad was the one who was telling you off for not spending enough time there in the first place! If you go home straight after lessons, then you're placed under pressure to do the chores cos' you're the obedient one so it's easier for them to have a go at you about it when they should be having a go at your brother. I'm also guessing it would be harder to study at home because at home you don't get the free time, space, privacy or motivation to study properly and you certainly wont feel like doing it when you're being harassed and told off a lot.

[angel*]

Mmm u seem 2 b going thru a tough time but dont let it get u down, thingz may seem really bad but they wont stay like this 4ever. Keep up ur prayers thas the most imp. thing, try and get sum "me" time, where u can chill and relax, as 4 studies, whatever u do dont stop or give up on them trust me life will b ever so much worse, if u leave ur studies, belive me 5-6yrz down the line u dont wanna look bk and have regrets about ur education. Make a sced. or sumthing, sort ur routine out so u kno what ur doing when ur doing it, then set ur priorites straight. Inshallah thingz will get better just have Faith in Allah swt.

[Why me!]

Hmm True... but im at college now and i only got about a week left to get my grades and that, i cant waste this year and wait nother year, i alreyd wasted a year after my gcses and my dad wud be proepr ****ed.... i told him i can get the grades and i know i can get the grades but some of tha teachers r idiots and do my head in when they r marking the work. its not much work but its just long and effort is needed.

ive got a new job that i will start next week so i only got a few days to really get my work done and that. i get distracted easily as i study IT it gets boring doing lots of assignments and when i have a break i do something else but its hard to get back to my work.

Once im at uni inshallah ill go the uni i want to go. ill do my best at uni because my dad said to me, if you dont make it to the second year u can kiss goodbye your education. Hes always had it for me about education and has it helped no i dont think so, its been hard work at college with lots of people there needin help and that. Now im nearly finished college and i have taken back no friends with me as i realised there are alot of 2 faced people here at college and coz of that i dont really trust anyone. ive stopped talking to girls or i talked very little to girls and guys all they ever do is take the **** out of people but me more so, i dony know why though. but i dont care any more, so at uni im not really gonna mingle with people coz i managed to come this far by my self with no help from anyone and im sure i can manage at uni.

I always think about marriage and how i can meet a potential spouse and that? bcoz firstly i know u shudnt talk to tha opposite sex so how can u meet the person then? if i dont find anyone at uni i know im gonn have to work for 2/3 years after uni and i know im gna get an arranged marriage which i dont want to... but then agen i catn get forced into marriage but if nothing happens then ill just agree with my parents advice on which girl to marry and if i ent happy then so be it coz so far i ent been happy with my life, i struggled most of my life.

any suggestions plz feel free to post or comment. J/K

[RaNdOm]

:salams

hmmm and its only through the struggles that we learn and become wiser, even tho u might not like them at the time all of this will only make u stronger inshaAllah...

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allaah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…” [al-Nisa’ 4:79]

Allah's help will reach u much faster inshaAllah if u try and successfully carry out the duties u've been commanded to do... praying is obligatory and mashaAllah i can see ur makin an effort, but if u really want that ease to get closer u've got to try ur hardest to pray all ur prayers inshaAllah...

“Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allaah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Saabiroon (the patient)?”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:142]

u were put on this world to go through tests and bein the oldest in ur fam is also part of ur test, havin that responsibility now inshaAllah will train u up for ur own family in the future...

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Israa’ 17:23]

“…be good and dutiful to your parents…” [al-An’aam 6:151];

“…give thanks to Me and to your parents…” [Luqmaan 31:14];

such an emphasis has been placed on the treatment of parents in islam... and rather than concentrating on all the negatives inshaAllah try and think about the reward u will get for every good action u perform for ur parents, making them happy will inshaAllah in turn please Allah swt... so dont give up what ur doing, and all those aches and pains u get after helping them just think that theyre making ur good deeds scales heavier so inshaAllah u'll be able to reach paradise.. and especially since ur parents dont sound to be in the best of health, helping them is even more important inshaAllah and u try to help them and inshaAllah Allah swt will help u with all ur affairs...

“And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e. the torment in the life of this world, i.e. disasters, calamities) prior to the supreme torment (in the Hereafter), in order that they may (repent and) return (i.e. accept Islam)” [al-Sajdah 32:21 – interpretation of the meaning]

when bad stuff happens in our life, it should make us stop and reflect on whether we're truly obeying the commands of Allah, only He can bring u ease and only He has power of all things, and its Him you have to please, and that includes keeping ur duties to Him and making sure inshaAllah that u do pray all ur prayers... so turn to Him and ask Him for forgiveness for all the prayers u have missed and from now on inshaAllah pray all of ur prayers...

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell. Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allaah and His Messenger Muhammad), and work righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in aught.” [Maryam 19:59-60]

whatever good u do... dont think it'll be lost, just cos u cant see the effects now doesnt mean that u wont ever... do u think Allah swt will ignore how much effort u put in to help ur parents...?

“Is there any reward for good other than good?’ [al-Rahmaan 55:60]

and everytime it does bring u down dont let shaitaan get the better of u and make u think its all pointless and that all that help to ur parents isnt worth it... just remember...

“No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but Allaah will expiate for some of his sins because of that.” (Agreed upon. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5641)

as for ur wife... inshaAllah make lots and lots and lots of duah, my mum always tells me how much duah she made and alhamdulillah we've been blessed with a proper :inlove: family alhamdulillah, duah is ur weapon and its up to u to make sure u use it...

“And when My servants ask you concerning Me, (tell them) I am indeed near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls” (Qur’an 21:187).

And your Lord said, invoke Me and I will respond to your invocation” (Qur’an 40:60).

“Invoke your Lord with humility and in secrecy” (Qur’an 7:55).

“So invoke Allah making your worship pure for Him” (Qur’an 40:14)

and no matter what happens dont let urself become too disheartened inshaAllah cos...

"How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for everything is good for him, and this applies only to the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it, and this is good for him; if something bad befalls him, he bears it with patience, and this is also good for him." :love:

[NoLongerLost]

salaam akhi i totally get how ur feeling. ur situation reminds me of a bro hu i know and he had similar problems 2 u and hez managed 2 overcome them and inshaAllah u will be able 2 do that 2.

u myt think that its a real strain doin all that housework now but imagine the reward ur gettin 4 helpin ur parents out! u may not see it now but inshaAllah in the hereafta ur gonna b sooo pleased that u did so much to help them out, and ur gonna benefit from it in the end.

Also, u say that ur sis is 8 and she just makes more mess. i got nieces aged 5, 6 and 7 and u no what, when i hav a lot of work 2 do and theyr not really helpin, i just ask them 2 help me and just say things like "if u help me work then i'll take u 2 the park after/ i'll giv u some sweets" or whatever and it really helps. try doing that 2 ur sista, im sure she'll want 2 help then. As 4 ur bro, i suppose u could try and ask him and tell him that u cant do it all and u need help and then u never know he might help too.

ive just finishd my exams and i totally get how ur feeling. i actually used 2 fall asleep wen i started revising. but if u find it hard 2 concentrate y not go 2 a place where there r no distractions? set urself time limits, with only short breaks and stick 2 it. dont worry it will all be ova soon, u just gotta work hard 4 the time being.

i dont think u should worry so much about marriage now seein as though u hav so much goin on at col and at home, but again dont worry u can meet someone thru friends/family...and u never know..the girl ur parents pick may be someone u really like. its not always a bad thing.

bro u say uve struggled most of ur life - well just so u know - Allah tests those whom He loves, so 2 an extent u should be happy that ur experiencing all these trials and tribulations bcuz u know that Allah cares 4 u and He loves u, and He wants 2 c wether u can pass this test. Just make lots of dua akhi thats the best thing. I did a lot of that when i was feelin low and trust me it helps soooo much...just pour ur heart out...cry...talk 2 Him about everything bcuz He is always there, always listening and always by ur side.

[Why me :(!]

hmm i do know that, i cant ask my bro as he nver listens to me all my parents, if my parents ask him to do something he will ignore them and i end up doing it always, even wen my parents go out and tel us to clean the house, does he do it no, i do it bcoz i know if neither of us do it we both gna get dun in so i do it for my sake coz i know wha my dad is like when he flips at me or anyone.

there is no place that i can go to, i dont get out the house that much, i never did before and i still dont, i got no place to go as i gotno mates and i realised most people are 2 faced as i found out from college so i dont really want to mingle with anyone from college or work now. all a bunch of monkeys.

i have read alot about islam on the net and stuff and it makes me wonder if im doing all of these things helping out and that, how would i know ill get to paradise in the hereafter bcoz iknow ive done alot of bad things to hurt my parents when i was younger and i obv make dua that he forgives me for my sins, i see this as punishment bcoz i did loads of things to hurt my parents and only in the last 6/7 years its been really bad for me and maybe its bcoz of that, i try to read all my namaz i read about 3/4 and i read the Quran at least once a day or more and read about 2 pages. so i do my best but i guess my best is not the best.

i make dua all the time for my self and my family and i dont think i see the result of that, its becomming worse now, my dad is more in a stroppy mood now, mum has her momens, bro is ****ed with sometimes and my sis does my head in, my sis wont listen to me even if i ask her to put her rubbish in the bin she wud say no and leave it on the floor and i wud pick it up.

i wud clean the kithchen if it is a mess as i know my mum will say go and clean the kitchn so i do it on her behalf. ive got a job now and its a decent job and i dont think i can make friends there as they are all older than and im not here to makefrends to earn some money for uni as i know ma mum will flip out if i dont get a job and i thank Allah that i got a job. my bro got a job without praying and doin **** all really, i been praying reguratly for months and i don tthink most of my duas are being answered. time will fly by and by the time i know it its time to get married.

it haunts me the word marriage, i wud think to my self who wud in their right mind wud wanna marry me? my parents bring up marriage sometimes and my dad always says to me, u gna marry sum1 from tha uk with an education and sum1 who can fit in our life style, basically he means, extra hands in the kithcn, cleaning , hoovering and other amenities.. if i did get married i wud still clean the kitchen, hoover, do the laundry and other things, why whud i get married and let my wife do all the things when i can do most things.

Any suggestons wud be helpful J/K

[dhakiyya]

Salaams bro,

I sympathise with your situation and inshaAllah the people here can give you good advice to help you, but please could you try not to post swearwords? I know the forum automatically censors them, but I just had to edit out a misspelled one. Its not proper for good Muslims to use these words, and this forum can be read by children as well as adults.

Thank you for your co-operation,

Dhakiyya (moderator)

[neelu]

Allah (swt) does not necessarily put hardships in our lives as a punishment. Look at people like Pharoah; people worshipped him and he grew up with luxuries, but he turned away from Allah (swt) and was sent to hell. Look at our Nabi (saw); all of his sons died before the age of 4 and losing a baby is a bigger hardship than anything you mentioned, but none of that was a punishment.

I think that if your parents ask you to do things around the house then it is good that you do them, but don't pick up and clear up after your siblings, they're learning to take you for granted so they don't care. You're not their servant. Let your dad vent on them instead.

I hope you find the means to move out when you're at uni because it sounds like you need some time away from home. My mum is always more appreciative of me and my siblings when we're not living at home cos' she remembers that certain things don't get done in the house when we're not around, but when we're living at home she could get very critical over little things. Sounds like you need to live away for a while to get your head together and get your parents to realise what happens in the home when you're not there.

[NoLongerLost]

hmm i do know that, i cant ask my bro as he nver listens to me all my parents, if my parents ask him to do something he will ignore them and i end up doing it always, even wen my parents go out and tel us to clean the house, does he do it no, i do it bcoz i know if neither of us do it we both gna get dun in so i do it for my sake coz i know wha my dad is like when he flips at me or anyone.

there is no place that i can go to, i dont get out the house that much, i never did before and i still dont, i got no place to go as i gotno mates and i realised most people are 2 faced as i found out from college so i dont really want to mingle with anyone from college or work now. all a bunch of monkeys.

i have read alot about islam on the net and stuff and it makes me wonder if im doing all of these things helping out and that, how would i know ill get to paradise in the hereafter bcoz iknow ive done alot of bad things to hurt my parents when i was younger and i obv make dua that he forgives me for my sins, i see this as punishment bcoz i did loads of things to hurt my parents and only in the last 6/7 years its been really bad for me and maybe its bcoz of that, i try to read all my namaz i read about 3/4 and i read the Quran at least once a day or more and read about 2 pages. so i do my best but i guess my best is not the best.

i make dua all the time for my self and my family and i dont think i see the result of that, its becomming worse now, my dad is more in a stroppy mood now, mum has her momens, bro is ****ed with sometimes and my sis does my head in, my sis wont listen to me even if i ask her to put her rubbish in the bin she wud say no and leave it on the floor and i wud pick it up.

i wud clean the kithchen if it is a mess as i know my mum will say go and clean the kitchn so i do it on her behalf. ive got a job now and its a decent job and i dont think i can make friends there as they are all older than and im not here to makefrends to earn some money for uni as i know ma mum will flip out if i dont get a job and i thank Allah that i got a job. my bro got a job without praying and doin **** all really, i been praying reguratly for months and i don tthink most of my duas are being answered. time will fly by and by the time i know it its time to get married.

it haunts me the word marriage, i wud think to my self who wud in their right mind wud wanna marry me? my parents bring up marriage sometimes and my dad always says to me, u gna marry sum1 from tha uk with an education and sum1 who can fit in our life style, basically he means, extra hands in the kithcn, cleaning , hoovering and other amenities.. if i did get married i wud still clean the kitchen, hoover, do the laundry and other things, why whud i get married and let my wife do all the things when i can do most things.

Any suggestons wud be helpful J/K

lol bro i totally get u im like that with my siblings. if we get asked 2do something then i wud b the one ending up doin it cuz none of them would do it and we'd get in2 trouble but its ok cuz it happens 2 a lot of people and its not just u.

well if u got work u could alwayz go library? or college? its still open..even tho most courses are finishd ryt??? i went the other day 2 get sum peace and quiet! and i can totally understand where ur coming from cuz i dont go out much either but i mean u cant always stay home..u need fresh air and a walk, to clear ur head

well akhi u say ur trying really hard 2 do gd now and that is evident with all the housework u do, but how do u know Allah wont 4giv u? u make dua, just b sincere and inshAllah he will. where r not perfect and we all do bad things but Allah is the most merciful and forgiving. He is more merciful than a mother is 2 her child, imagine that! and only Allah knows how hard ur trying...u try 2 read all ur prayers..inshAllah try all 5, u read quran everyday and that is exellent, it really is. dont understand what ur doing. i think its exellent what ur doing.

whatever happens, even if u dont see the results, do not stop makin dua - dua is ur strongest weapon and ur sharpest sword, more so than anything else.

that is rlly gd u found a job, me and my mates been lookin ages and couldnt find 1. u really are lucky :o

aww that was sweet what u said abt ur wife..but i mean when ur married u could move away. and im sure ur dad wants the best 4 u. and dont think so negatively. inshAllah ull find a really gd wife...

[NoLongerLost]

here's an idea. why dont u spend some time in the masjids and u can meet brothers that way?

[Unregistered11]

Dear brother,
Thank you for sharing your worries-you have no idea how much you've "helped".
Trust me you are not the only one in this world in this situation.
I do believe that each and everyone of us hold the key to our own happiness it's just about recognizing it:
Like you said: you've managed to get so far by yourself and not with the help of other ppl.
Then dear bro you can also get through this by yourself. I want you to think about this:

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

Keep rising up.

But don't rise up to the same conditions.
You have to change something bro.
It seems to me you are neglecting yourself.
Find out your passion in life- a hobby?
Do you have something that you use your freetime on?
Doesn't have to be a big thing.
Something that you look forward to doing?
Or is your life full of routine only?
Cuz maybe that's the problem:
you're always there for others
but not for yourself
and since there are no others who can be there for you
YOU MUST BE THERE FOR yourself.
And bro remember,,,,,,,,even in your darkest hour you are not alone.
God is always listening. Trust me all your prayers are heard and if you don't get what you've asked for it's because it's for your best interest, GOD LOVES YOU.
HE LOVES YOU!!!
He does not burden a person with more than he knows that person can bear.

I sincerely feel for you and I'll keep you in my prayers inshallah even though I don't know you

[WHY M3 :(]

hmm go the mosque, thats a good one... i dont like talkin to guys any more.. i had a few religious mates but i wrnt close with them or gd mates... everyone changes so i jus stick to readin my namaz at home and not meeting anyone, how is that gonna help me? a few brothers and that... what use is that to me.. i got a bro and i hardly even chat to him about anything let alone meet other guys at the mosque...

[Why mEEE:(]

Dear brother,
Thank you for sharing your worries-you have no idea how much you've "helped".
Trust me you are not the only one in this world in this situation.
I do believe that each and everyone of us hold the key to our own happiness it's just about recognizing it:
Like you said: you've managed to get so far by yourself and not with the help of other ppl.
Then dear bro you can also get through this by yourself. I want you to think about this:

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

Keep rising up.

But don't rise up to the same conditions.
You have to change something bro.
It seems to me you are neglecting yourself.
Find out your passion in life- a hobby?
Do you have something that you use your freetime on?
Doesn't have to be a big thing.
Something that you look forward to doing?
Or is your life full of routine only?
Cuz maybe that's the problem:
you're always there for others
but not for yourself
and since there are no others who can be there for you
YOU MUST BE THERE FOR yourself.
And bro remember,,,,,,,,even in your darkest hour you are not alone.
God is always listening. Trust me all your prayers are heard and if you don't get what you've asked for it's because it's for your best interest, GOD LOVES YOU.
HE LOVES YOU!!!
He does not burden a person with more than he knows that person can bear.

I sincerely feel for you and I'll keep you in my prayers inshallah even though I don't know you

ummm ive got no passion now, i used to read books, go out and tht but i lost interest now, im not bothered bout going out playing sports, i had my time in playing sports and it doenst excite me any more. i just keep on reading things about Islam, reading the Quran and most of all reading my Namaz coz no1 in my family reads and then thrs ma rents sayin go and read when thy dont read them selves.

i do lots of things in my FREE time, i clean, hoover, do the laundry, clean the house and just do house chores really, ive finished college and i got my grades i needed for uni so i got time on my hands doing more things that i did before and i obv got a job which is some income for me.

i got a routine for my self, read my namaz on time and read about one or two pages of the Quran after each of the namazes i read and thats it. i got no interest in anything now coz its jus a waste of time, y keep fit and healthy when u know u gonna die wheneva even when ur fit or not so m jus preparin my self b4 i die...

i dont look forward to anything now, its just dull... it was my bday last wednesday and not my parents or my bro or sis sed happi bday and i expected that and i also expected a normal day that consitided of cleanin, hooverin, doin tha laundry, sortin clothes out... so it didnt bother me at all.

well im gonna start uni now inshallah and i cudnt careless if i have any mates now.. coz i been used and abused but ma dad said u need to mingle with ppl nd use them to hlp u wiv tha uni work nd that..... i dno if i can do that coz i defo dont wna meet anyone or talk to ppl......

I know he dusnt answers coz its for the best..... but y make duas when u know ur life is predestined? evn if u make dua it ent come true ... thas how i see it but i also know i read it sumwhere that only way to change ur destiny is to make dua.. and so far... zilch has happened except my doin well in college and goin to tha uni i wanna and getn a job..... even when i got all that i still feel lyk crp nd not excitin bout anything i do..

[Destination]

most of the ppl are not happy with their lives, dont worry, thats not new to you only, ask your dad even he wouldnt be happy, your quite young bro, dont worry, things will get right as time goes inshaallah. do one thing stop thinking too much, if your bro is happy then dont worry about him, if you worry about everyone how can you be happy then?
you dont get admission in that uni, so what, you may get admission in another one, uni is not everything, your not going to be the president of america, why to worry man?
you doing house work since very young age, so what, thats good for you, you would be more responsible and active in your practical life than others, its better to avoid these things and look at those things which you have as blessings from Allah e.g your life, your health, your parents, siblings, your house, food, and sleep at the least.

[NoLongerLost]

bro ur rlly pessimistic! try 2 be more optimistic and look at the good side of things. u even said urself, uve got the grades u needed, uve been accepted 2 go 2 uni and uve also got a job! alhamdulillah that is such good news and im sure there are many students out there who would love to be in ur position! please focus on the good. when ur feeling down just compare urself 2 ppl with less than u and then ull find a smile on ur face and ull be thanking Allah 4 all the good things He has blessed u with.

try going to the masjid and praying ur namaz rather than doin it at home, u do realise there is more reward in going 2 the mosq. plus im sure the fresh air would rlly do u gd. when uve finishd prayin just start havin a conversation with a brother and ull make gd mates in no time inshAllah. :D and course its gonna help u!! having mates its sooo important! especially good loyal pious mates! sometimes u just need 2 get away from ur family 4 a bit and b with other ppl, and friends are gr8 4 that! dont let ur past experiences hav that bad effect on ur future. if u hang around with religious ppl then inshaAllah u wil b 2. they will b able 2 influence u in a gd way. plz try it!

do u know that islam encourages us 2 be fit and healthy? y not try 2 b? its fun and it helps 2 pass the time, and if u have the right intention then u also get rewarded 4 it. we r all gonna die 1 day and thats a fact, but having said that it doesnt mean that it can prevent us from doing things. we should live our lives 2 the full and b content with what we have been given.

bro i rlly think its importnt that u do make mates otherwise its gonna b verrrry difficult 4 u, all u gotta do is be careful with hu u make friends with. trust me, friendship is very importnt.

[neelu]

I know he dusnt answers coz its for the best..... but y make duas when u know ur life is predestined? evn if u make dua it ent come true ... thas how i see it but i also know i read it sumwhere that only way to change ur destiny is to make dua.. and so far... zilch has happened except my doin well in college and goin to tha uni i wanna and getn a job..... even when i got all that i still feel lyk crp nd not excitin bout anything i do..

The answer to the first bit I highlighted is that you make dua because you don't know beforehand what has been predestined or whether you would get what you are seeking without making dua. That is a matter which only Allah (swt) knows.

That second bit I highlighted is not necessarily true and is a sign of a defeatest mentality. Islam is not defeatest. Allah (swt) says in the Quran that he does not change the condition of the people until they change what is within themselves (ie put in effort themselves to help changes take place)- this depends on the situation, in some cases it means physical effort and in other cases such as yours or mine it can mean changing the way you look at things so that you don't let hardships get you down and you don't see hardships as an excuse to lose patience or trust in Allah (swt). If you make dua for something and don't get it, this can often mean that Allah (swt) has something better in store for you which you will only realise later on.

[wHYYY m33333:(]

bro ur rlly pessimistic! try 2 be more optimistic and look at the good side of things. u even said urself, uve got the grades u needed, uve been accepted 2 go 2 uni and uve also got a job! alhamdulillah that is such good news and im sure there are many students out there who would love to be in ur position! please focus on the good. when ur feeling down just compare urself 2 ppl with less than u and then ull find a smile on ur face and ull be thanking Allah 4 all the good things He has blessed u with.

try going to the masjid and praying ur namaz rather than doin it at home, u do realise there is more reward in going 2 the mosq. plus im sure the fresh air would rlly do u gd. when uve finishd prayin just start havin a conversation with a brother and ull make gd mates in no time inshAllah. :D and course its gonna help u!! having mates its sooo important! especially good loyal pious mates! sometimes u just need 2 get away from ur family 4 a bit and b with other ppl, and friends are gr8 4 that! dont let ur past experiences hav that bad effect on ur future. if u hang around with religious ppl then inshaAllah u wil b 2. they will b able 2 influence u in a gd way. plz try it!

do u know that islam encourages us 2 be fit and healthy? y not try 2 b? its fun and it helps 2 pass the time, and if u have the right intention then u also get rewarded 4 it. we r all gonna die 1 day and thats a fact, but having said that it doesnt mean that it can prevent us from doing things. we should live our lives 2 the full and b content with what we have been given.

bro i rlly think its importnt that u do make mates otherwise its gonna b verrrry difficult 4 u, all u gotta do is be careful with hu u make friends with. trust me, friendship is very importnt.

hmmm... yh i knw u get reward fr goin to the mosque bt i dnt gt time to pry at home let alone go mosque and that.... i dont need guy mates, i had enuff guy mates and thy all 2 faced... u saud ang round with religious ppl and ill be one too.... i am religious, i had a religious mate but hes not tht religious.. and he did me no good either.. used nd abused me for college work and that... so hows that gd influence to me? didnt think so...

i do get away from my family, in my room, i listn to nasheeds and tha Quran on my fone and yet i never have tym for ma self as ma rents r alwys caln me to do trivial things thy can do thm selves but thy neva ask my bro to do it even tho hes in tha same room.... i dont get that at all....


y is frendship impotant? frends come and go.. i hd frends nd thy gne and i knwo u gna say make new mates... well i dont wann but i know it gnna happen at uni coz ma dad sed u need to mke loads of mates wen at uni u cnt do it on ur own... well actually i can coz most of ma uni course is based on assignments and corusework and i can do well in them so i dnt give a crp if i dont make any mates at all... coz i dont intend to either... i lyk to be on ma own i dnt tlk to ppl tht mch or rarely, i jus keep to my self nd not wste time in idle talk evn wth tha religious guy in ma class he wud alwys talk bout gym , showin pics to his mates... tha girls in tha class and that nd he calls him self religious... ive tld him many new things and i dno if he gonna follow it. i read alot of stuff bout islam on diff websites....

i know there r ppl less than me, and u nt tha only prsn to tel me tht so its nothn new for me... i do what i can.. i give zakat at every jummah...

i usd to go to the gym but mum stopd me coz i wnt to often..... i used to play tennis bt i got no interests any more in anythin..... goin out, havin a laff and what eva wnt get me to jannah will it? it will jus waste time...

mst of tha ppl here evn guys r jus twts, gangstrs and what not.. not many kids go to tha mosque weneva i go tho... i see adults, me and very little of kids nd teenagers...

[WHYYYY meh]

most of the ppl are not happy with their lives, dont worry, thats not new to you only, ask your dad even he wouldnt be happy, your quite young bro, dont worry, things will get right as time goes inshaallah. do one thing stop thinking too much, if your bro is happy then dont worry about him, if you worry about everyone how can you be happy then?
you dont get admission in that uni, so what, you may get admission in another one, uni is not everything, your not going to be the president of america, why to worry man?
you doing house work since very young age, so what, thats good for you, you would be more responsible and active in your practical life than others, its better to avoid these things and look at those things which you have as blessings from Allah e.g your life, your health, your parents, siblings, your house, food, and sleep at the least.

hmmmm ma dad neva happi in life.. so he takes hs anger out on me on trivial things...uni is not evrythn tell ma dad that....he sed education i tha foundation for a decent job and a decent future.....yeah i know i got a life, health, parents (dont give a **** about me, thy prefer my bro and sis more, coz im tha failure one in their eyes) siblings id prefer to be an only one coz i hardly cht to my bro or sis and i do evrything aftr thm like clean up and that and not once do they listen... ma dad wont say nothn to em alwys me and some day im gonna run awy or somethin..... a house yeah.. which im a prison in... food i got but i dont eat much at all.... sleep i dont get sleep at all coz of ma dad he wakes me up so early in tha mornin to clean tha kitchn or what ever.. nd i cnt sleep b4 11 im up until 1 or 2 every day

[why me !:(]

The answer to the first bit I highlighted is that you make dua because you don't know beforehand what has been predestined or whether you would get what you are seeking without making dua. That is a matter which only Allah (swt) knows.

That second bit I highlighted is not necessarily true and is a sign of a defeatest mentality. Islam is not defeatest. Allah (swt) says in the Quran that he does not change the condition of the people until they change what is within themselves (ie put in effort themselves to help changes take place)- this depends on the situation, in some cases it means physical effort and in other cases such as yours or mine it can mean changing the way you look at things so that you don't let hardships get you down and you don't see hardships as an excuse to lose patience or trust in Allah (swt). If you make dua for something and don't get it, this can often mean that Allah (swt) has something better in store for you which you will only realise later on.


I know all of that stuff bout better thing later in life if i my dua ent answers and so far so good... as it means more suffering for me, non my duas hav been answerd and i dont know if it will any more.. i cant tolerate my life any more, i just wnt put any effort into uni and just fail my first year at uni and stop my education and i might jus stop my job as well coz its tiring and boring and i dont like it at all but i know if i do stop im gonna get it from my mum nd dad......

u may not knw this but ever time i make a dua i sometimes cry alot and i alwys shed tears b4 i go to sleep to reflect on tha day and in tha past.. coz of so many scars that has happened to me coz of my bein a failure at education...

[NoLongerLost]

Just Because U Realised That Some/most/all Of Previous "mates" Were 2 Faced Doesnt Mean All People Are!! Like I Said, U Just Gotta Choose More Carefull! And U Do Need Friends! Trust Me! Plzzzzz