Types of Punishment for Naughty Children

[MG]

Can we list what types of punishments are good fo misbehaving children, maybe we can all pick some tips up :D

please state of u tried it, and what kinda reaction u got, would u use that punishment again? was it effective?


NO OFF TOPIC convos pleeasse



heres mine:

No TV

[Medievalist]

Beating with a bamboo stick.

[ammarcool]

ask them to memorize the multiplication tables.

2

2*2=4
2*3=6
2*4=8
upto 2*12=24

3

3*1=3
3*2=6
3*3=9

like wise...

its a punishment for them as well as it will broaden their knowledge too! what i did mentioned above is the punishment for us from our Parents when i was a kid! :)

May Almighty grant my Mother Jennathul Firdouse. Ameen.

BTW: I would like to point it here, that eventhough maybe some may think that TV is good! When the kid is in his initial stages when Parents allowed them to watch TV for some sort of good thinks in present of Parents: its ok, but once they attained their baaligh ages, if they commits sins based on the programs what they watch? what they listen for it? then in that time Parents should bare responsility for that (coz at the initial stage parents didnt advice them regarding that)! So my point is this: dont allow them to watch TV at the initial stages.

[MG]

Beating with a bamboo stick.

:rubeyes:- dont wanna make them black and blue the next day.. :rubeyes:

ask them to memorize the multiplication tables.

2

2*2=4
2*3=6
2*4=8
upto 2*12=24

3

3*1=3
3*2=6
3*3=9

like wise...

its a punishment for them as well as it will broaden their knowledge too! what i did mentioned above is the punishment for us from our Parents when i was a kid! :)

May Almighty grant my Mother Jennathul Firdouse. Ameen.

BTW: I would like to point it here, that eventhough maybe some may think that TV is good! At the kids initial stages when Parents allowed them to watch TV for some sort of good thinks, but once they attained their baaligh ages, if they commits sins based on the programs what they watch? what they listen for it? then in that time Parents should bare responsility for that! So my point is this dont allow them to watch TV at the initial stages.




good one, memeorising is good, i was thinking making them memorize surahs but u wouldnt want the child seeing that as punishment

[Al-ghurabah]

Thin you have tp be carefull with children. most just want attention or arebored and need some kind ofentertainment of kept busy..
give themsomething to do which will keep them occupied.
make them seem as they are important in charge,
if they are un controllable tell them they will not be allowed to enjoy certain perks/ luxurys like TV or fav food etc..
give them love show them love.

[MG]

Thin you have tp be carefull with children. most just want attention or arebored and need some kind ofentertainment of kept busy..
give themsomething to do which will keep them occupied.
make them seem as they are important in charge,
if they are un controllable tell them they will not be allowed to enjoy certain perks/ luxurys like TV or fav food etc..
give them love show them love.


but if a child misbehaves would u show them love evrytime? the first time i agree, u would say it in a nice way but if they misbehave frequently would u still combat that wit love?

[TinyTerror]

My mum was clever

Too clever :(

She wouldn't hit us :( instead she PUNISHED us

So for example

My exciting schoool trip she made me miss and stay home. I still feel the pain

(all i'd done was rip my new dress...again)

Hot summers day all my sisters went out to play, i had to sit in the boiling kitchen watching my mum cook and peel onions for her :crying:

(I never bit my sister again)

One time i got hit though. Called a man a 'bandhor' (monkey) from the window. Had to prostrate and ask forgiveness form Allah and whilst doing so my mum went *TAAAASH* right across me bum.

(Was so bad i was never bad again...well almost never) :D

[MG]

My mum was clever

Too clever :(

She wouldn't hit us :( instead she PUNISHED us

So for example

My exciting schoool trip she made me miss and stay home. I still feel the pain

(all i'd done was rip my new dress...again)

Hot summers day all my sisters went out to play, i had to sit in the boiling kitchen watching my mum cook and peel onions for her :crying:

(I never bit my sister again)

One time i got hit though. Called a man a 'bandhor' (monkey) from the window. Had to prostrate and ask forgiveness form Allah and whilst doing so my mum went *TAAAASH* right across me bum.

(Was so bad i was never bad again...well almost never) :D




oooooooooooooooooh i need to meet your mum, does she do parental talks :D

[TinyTerror]

:eek: how could i forget?! The big eyes! *shudder* My mum just gave us the big-eyed stare and we knew we were in for it! Worked everytime. We were so scared we were paralysed with fear to do anything naughty after that! Works best when you've got company so no need to yell and embarrass yourself in front of the guests.

My husband says i got the big-eye thing off my mum.....he shouldn't be so naughty! :0:

[sunny_skies]

The Naughty step! It works everytime :)

I started doing that with my kids from when they were two. If they have misbehaved (and I mean something like refusing to listen to either myself or my husband, or hitting sister) they sit on the step which means they are excluded from any activity going on at the time. They sit there for one minute for each year (3 year old sits on there for 3 minutes). Now they are three and a half I tell them to go on the naughty step and think about what they have done and why they did it. (They still say 'I don't know' when asked why!!)

During this time we pay lots of attention to the other child and ignore the one on the naughty step completely. They really don't like this. When their time is up the rule is that they should come and apologise for whatever it is they did wrong.

It has worked very well for us Alhamdulillah, sometimes we only threaten to put them on the naughty step and they do as they're told instantly! :inlove:

[Honey87]

Naughty step is really good.

I was just studying this for my psychology exam.

I think one of the most effective forms of punishment for children, is taking away something they enjoy or lets say a 'treat' i.e. no pudding, no chocs.

I agree with the 'give them/show them love'. usually it makes them feel guilty.

eg, my lil sis was playing up. mum had enough, shouted loads and took away her scooter. She started crying, mum gave her a hug, and told her it was wrong. she was soooo well behaved afterwards.

[Zaid the Great]

lock up in a room for a few minutes till they chill out....

If they don't then the bamboo stick will have to be called in :torture:

[K h a l i l]

I think all the stuff about taking things away from children and make them stay in the "naughty corner" for whatever period of time is a load of rubbish.

My sisters are subject to that treatment.. and they continue to misbehave to prove that they dont need whatever it was that was taken away (even when they do)..

I was hit when I was young.. but only on my hand.. I learnt my lesson everytime.. I dont misbehave.. not in class not at home.

[sunny_skies]

I think all the stuff about taking things away from children and make them stay in the "naughty corner" for whatever period of time is a load of rubbish.

My sisters are subject to that treatment.. and they continue to misbehave to prove that they dont need whatever it was that was taken away (even when they do)..

I was hit when I was young.. but only on my hand.. I learnt my lesson everytime.. I dont misbehave.. not in class not at home.

Different things work for different children. The naughty step/corner has proved an instant success with many children, hence also used in a lot of schools and nurseries. Having said that, you will get some children who refuse to listen and you may need to use other forms of punishment.

Piece of advice, though, when a punishment is threatened, it MUST be carried out, you must follow through on what you have said. Children stop taking adults seriously if they are constantly given 'empty threats', and stop listening and doing as they have been asked.

[sunny_skies]

In my experience, a lot of children will misbehave for attention. If an adult shouts and screams and tells them off for ages/has a long chat with them, this is giving them too much attention. If a child is being punished and he/she cries screams or has a tantrum whilst in the naughty corner/naughty step, ignore them. No eye contact, no talking. Let them calm down first. As long as they are in no danger, let them cry/tantrum themselves out.

[Eemaan]

dont wanna make them black and blue the next day

yes we need an alternative form of violence which wont display brisue the next day in shcool :smack:

ai hai MG mai kuddhar jaa :D

1. give em googly eyes- this will make the brat all :nervous: the kid will do anything possible to try an avert being caught in your googly eyes radar as once he catches a glimpse of them, he will be transifixed and subservient to the path your googly eyes want to follow for the duration the googly eyes remain upon him.

2. Withdraw rewards "bog off, go play with yer sisters doll, no more action man for you"

3. if their still little, make eye contact with them (so get on your knees) in a very low voice, almost whisper "im extremeyl disapointed, your misdemeanour will not go unpunished...." and then *SCREAM* the living daylights out of the brat :D


jobs a good un Eemaan :coolbro:

[heaven2002]

take away spending money

take away television, computer, games console

take away going out trips that you had planned or sports club/swimming that they do weekly

take away sweets/chocolate and other treats

[neelu]

I work at a school and this is what works for me when dealing with naughty 12 year olds:

- Assertive body language; give them a stern look and speak in firm tones when they're in trouble (this takes practice as I used to be a softy and wasn't taken seriously before I learned how to do that).

- Don't shout except on the rare occassion where they do something REALLY bad (eg like put a kid in danger). If you shout or scream often, then it wont have much effect after a while but if it's done occassionally then they know you're serious.

- Reward good behaviour: if a kid only gets punishment for bad behaviour and not much incentive for good behaviour- he/she kid might still misbehave just to get attention even if it is negative attention or a telling off. Treats don't have to be expensive; some parents simply use a sticker chart and a list of good deeds such as keeping the bedroom tidy and also a cross mark for bad deeds like hitting the other siblings. If kids get lots of good stickers and avoid the bad deeds, smaller kids need smaller but more regular treats (eg weekly treats) like novelty stationary whereas older kids can get a bigger treat less often (eg termly) like a theme park trip. If possible, avoid giving sweets and chocolates as treats or only give them rarely as kids should avoid developing too much of a positive association with unhealthy foods. Really cute novelty pens, sharpeners and other stationary only cost about 36p each from Tescos and my year 8 and 9 pupils love them.

[ajnabee]

where i work, we're not allowed to use the "n" word (naughty) as it labels the child, and not the behaviour and therefore the child is compelled to live up to that label.

if the child is misbehaving... what we do is
1. ask them nicely to stop what they are doing EXPLAINING why they should stop.

2. if it continues, ask them in a firmer and lower tone of voice and give a warning of a punishment, i.e time out/thinking time, removal of priveleges, etc

3. enforce the punishment! if a tantrum/tears pursue.. ignore, ignore, ignore. once they have calmed down... ask them to apologise. if they dnt apologise, follow steps 1 - 3 again.

[neelu]

Ajnabee, that sounds like torture. I wouldn't send a kid there. Sounds like political correctness gone mad! Not allowed to say naughty????

[Abandoned-Mind]

http://maddox.xmission.com/beatkid4.jpg

[sunny_skies]

Ajnabee, that sounds like torture. I wouldn't send a kid there. Sounds like political correctness gone mad! Not allowed to say naughty????

The places i've worked in we've always been allowed to say 'naughty' but to refer to the behaviour and not the child. Maybe things have changed drastically in the three years I haven't worked...
political correctness gone completely mental!

[$HugoBoss$]

Lock them in a empty room without food or water for a hour :D

When you open the door, ask them if they want to stay another hour, i guarantee you they'll behave after that.

Kinda mean, haven't tried it but it's worth a try, so report back if any case is successful.

[Lambo5688]

Lock them in a empty room without food or water for a hour :D

When you open the door, ask them if they want to stay another hour, i guarantee you they'll behave after that.

Kinda mean, haven't tried it but it's worth a try, so report back if any case is successful.

Not a bad idea.

But I like the Naughty Step idea better.

[Eemaan]

where i work, we're not allowed to use the "n" word (naughty) as it labels the child, and not the behaviour and therefore the child is compelled to live up to that label.

if the child is misbehaving... what we do is
1. ask them nicely to stop what they are doing EXPLAINING why they should stop.

2. if it continues, ask them in a firmer and lower tone of voice and give a warning of a punishment, i.e time out/thinking time, removal of priveleges, etc

3. enforce the punishment! if a tantrum/tears pursue.. ignore, ignore, ignore. once they have calmed down... ask them to apologise. if they dnt apologise, follow steps 1 - 3 again.

is it a montessori school? :eek3:

fascinating places...

[MG]

is it a montessori school? :eek3:

fascinating places...

arent montessoris just posh nurseries :rubeyes:

[sunny_skies]

By Bharati Sarkar

http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/education/grfx/Montu3.jpgIn the Montessori system (http://www.montessori.org/) of education (http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/education/alternative-education/alternative-education.html), each child is a unique being. He is encouraged to develop social and emotional skills, in addition to intellectual ones
To influence society we must turn our attention to children. Out of this truth comes the importance of nursery schools, for it is the little ones who are building our future, and they can work only on the materials we give them
—Maria Montessori In urban India, parents send their children to school when they are just 2-plus, mainly to interact with their peer group and often to learn. Many schools with the word 'Montessori' in their name usually have not a clue about the unique method that was first introduced in India by Dr Maria Montessori as early as 1939, in Adyar, Chennai, India. Most parents are themselves not familiar with the method and given a few options in finding a decent school for their children, thankfully accept whatever they get.
Dr Montessori created this holistic system of education which has universal applicability. She took serious note of Socrates' view when he said: "Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel." She used her determination and intelligence to transform the prevalent system of education in her native Italy around the turn of the 19th century, a system still followed in large parts of India-strictly regimented, overcrowded schools with classrooms ruled by stern or harassed teachers who do not brook questions and where children are not permitted to move or speak without permission.



Today, most upmarket play-schools boast expensive playthings and have young teachers who play, teach and sing, addressing the child's learning abilities and allowing 'play' as a serious activity (as it should be). But few schools view a child with the respect he deserves. Many play-schools use Montessori teaching materials, but the true Montessori school follows a system where the child is viewed as a unique being that is not an adult and who has distinct needs and capabilities. Montessori school activities promote the development of a child's social skills, emotional growth and body-mind coordination as well as cognitive preparations for future intellectual activities. The main premises of Montessori education are:
• Children are to be respected as different from adults and as individuals who differ from each other.

•The child possesses an unusual sensitivity and intellectual ability, unlike those of the adult, to absorb and learn from his environment, both in quality and quantity.

• The first six years of life are the most important years of a child's growth when unconscious learning gradually emerges to the conscious level.
METHOD AND GOALS

The approach: Montessori programs aim to help children reach their full potential in all areas of life. Specially trained teachers, who facilitate, guide and help (but do not impose their own will), allow the child to experience the joy of learning, the time to enjoy the process, and ensure the development of self-esteem. The system simply provides the experiences from which children create their own knowledge. The child and teacher form a relationship (http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/relationship/relationship.html) based on trust and respect to foster self-confidence and a willingness to try new things.
Materials: Dr Montessori's observations of the kind of things children enjoy and return to repeatedly, aided in her design of several multi-sensory, sequential and self-correcting materials to facilitate learning.

Positive attitude towards school: Most learning activities are individualized, so that a child engages in a learning task that appeals to her and builds a positive attitude toward learning.
Developing self-confidence: Tasks are designed so that each new step is built upon what the child has already mastered. This removes the negative experience of frequent failure, contributing to the child's healthy emotional development.
A habit of concentration: The ability to listen attentively to what is said or demonstrated presupposes effective learning. Through a series of absorbing experiences, the child forms habits of extended attention, increasing her ability to concentrate.


An abiding curiosity: Opportunities are offered for the child to discover qualities, dimensions and relationships amidst a variety of stimulating learning situations thereby developing curiosity, an essential element in creative learning. http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/education/grfx/Montu2.jpgTeach by teaching, not by correcting: At no level of learning are papers returned to a child with angry red marks and corrections. Instead, the child's effort and work are respected. There is neither punishment nor reward because Dr Montessori observed that small children expect neither. Their reward is in the happy completion of a job itself and the natural respect that it commands.
Initiative and persistence: The child is surrounded with materials and activities geared to her inner needs so that she becomes accustomed to engaging in activities on her own, resulting in a habit of initiative.
Montessori pre-primary schools exist all over India but the numbers are small compared to the demand. Calcutta leads with over 25 schools including Young Learners' Montessori House and Miranda Hall. Surprisingly, Delhi has just a few. One of them, Magic Years in Vasant Vihar, is promoted by an educational trust. The most remarkable thing about the school is the extraordinary level of disciplined quiet we witnessed on a visit. With so many little children of various nationalities, one expected a bit of noise and clamor. Instead, we saw quiet children sitting, moving around, drawing, playing, doing a variety of things, somehow very absorbed in whatever they were doing. It strikes you that these children take their 'activities' as seriously as adults and do not like being disturbed.
Amazingly, they respect other's need for space and quiet too. Not a single instance of a teacher demanding silence or obedience, simply because the children imposed their own form of natural discipline while engaged in activities they enjoyed!
Shirley Madhavan Kutty, Principal of Magic Years, explained how even training in sports was adapted to a child's age and ability. "Children all over the world develop in the same manner. At a certain age they walk, grow teeth, learn to eat, absorb language and talk. Whether the child is born in Africa or Australia, they all share the same developmental needs," she elucidates. "To me the Montessori method appears the most scientific way of teaching young children."
Chanda Raisinghani, who trained Montessori teachers for many years in Calcutta and continues to do so now in Delhi, admits that she is just beginning to make an impression about the Montessori system's efficacy in the Capital. She is the director of Magic Years teacher training program and consultant with American Montessori Public School in DLF, Gurgaon.
The fact is that education is treated as a profitable business, especially in cities, with most pre-primary schools being highly priced places where children are entertained and 'minded' by young teachers and ayahs for a few hours a day. Montessori materials are expensive, eating into the net profit of school owners. But Shirley explains that village Montessori schools known as Balwadis exist in India, where the original (more expensive) materials have been adapted to suit smaller budgets. "The cost is below Rs 2,000 for one unit of 35 children," she says, "and several companies are now manufacturing the materials locally."
Chanda calculates that given the steep fees charged by private schools, investors would still make a 100 per cent profit using the Montessori method and materials in upmarket schools. Surely dedicated educators would see the benefit of the investment? Parental intervention and direct involvement in educational policies would also see a change in perceptions, attitudes and resources reserved for our children's future.
With the growing need for preprimary schools, perhaps the more dedicated among our new generation educators will be less swayed by the profit factor and more concerned about their contribution to our future generations. The corporate sector and educational trusts must enter the educational market aggressively, not only because there is financial profit in it, but also because the investment will ultimately pay off in future citizens who are balanced, creative and better adjusted human beings.

[ajnabee]

is it a montessori school? :eek3:

fascinating places...

no not a montessori place, i dnt like their approach really... but a lot of nurseries nowadays dont use the "n" word anymore. but i can see why my manager doesnt allow the word... because i had this one child who would like u know hurt another child and u ask him why he did it, he would reply "r**i (his name) naughty boy"

[Eemaan]

arent montessoris just posh nurseries :rubeyes:

they have montesosri primary and high schools too.

my sister teaches at one and hates it. but it got an 'outstanding' for its ofsted :smack:

they have no reward system :rubeyes: s'all about smiling and sad face placards :smack:


no not a montessori place, i dnt like their approach really... but a lot of nurseries nowadays dont use the "n" word anymore. but i can see why my manager doesnt allow the word... because i had this one child who would like u know hurt another child and u ask him why he did it, he would reply "r**i (his name) naughty boy"

oh raat. flippin political correctness :zzz:

[MG]

they have montesosri primary and high schools too.

my sister teaches at one and hates it. but it got an 'outstanding' for its ofsted :smack:

they have no reward system :rubeyes: s'all about smiling and sad face placards :smack:




oh raat. flippin political correctness :zzz:


i have seen OFSTED reports and they have given some of the worst schools "good" ratings! i dont go by them no more

[Eemaan]

i have seen OFSTED reports and they have given some of the worst schools "good" ratings! i dont go by them no more

hmmm see what your saying but ofsted looks more at 'value added' or how much progress a school has made. so

if Roughneck High School is a crap schools and was in special measures last year and had 12% 5 A-Cs in its GCSEs (thats absurdly low btw :p) and this year its comes out of special measures with 20% 5 A-Cs in its GCSEs (still low) and is still by and large a crappy school with crappy kids and unmotivated teachers but with a good management with excellent foresight, it can still get an outstanding/ Excellent :eek:

which is what happened at one of my schools a few months back :smack:

the whole of yahorkshires teaching force went :scratch: how did that happen? :confused:

it means alot to teachers because it crushes them in terms of workload and dont mean an awful lot to the outside world in terms of "will my brat do well at this school?" tis all relative. :eek3:

[MG]

hmmm see what your saying but ofsted looks more at 'value added' or how much progress a school has made. so

if Roughneck High School is a crap schools and was in special measures last year and had 12% 5 A-Cs in its GCSEs (thats absurdly low btw :p) and this year its comes out of special measures with 20% 5 A-Cs in its GCSEs (still low) and is still by and large a crappy school with crappy kids and unmotivated teachers but with a good management with excellent foresight, it can still get an outstanding/ Excellent :eek:

which is what happened at one of my schools a few months back :smack:

the whole of yahorkshires teaching force went :scratch: how did that happen? :confused:

it means alot to teachers because it crushes them in terms of workload and dont mean an awful lot to the outside world in terms of "will my brat do well at this school?" tis all relative. :eek3:



love it sis, thats why i turn to the experts (you ;) ) in this field cos the process seems so complicated to me :rubeyes:

[sunny_skies]

i have seen OFSTED reports and they have given some of the worst schools "good" ratings! i dont go by them no more

That is so true! Ofsted standards don't mean a thing. Although we did get an outstanding at Islamia, like we always do :D

I know of other schools who are praised for things like their modern school equipment, teaching aids, staff ratios, school procedures etc, but the teaching may be absolutely rubbish!

[Eemaan]

love it sis, thats why i turn to the experts (you ;) ) in this field cos the process seems so complicated to me :rubeyes:

k, but dont blame me when yer brat comes home with a spliff hanging out of his mouth and jeans half way down his bum :D

[MG]

k, but dont blame me when yer brat comes home with a spliff hanging out of his mouth and jeans half way down his bum :D


i'll sue for misadvice :D

[Zesty]

Damn Becker and his labeling theory! :smack:

[Joha]

k, but dont blame me when yer brat comes home with a spliff hanging out of his mouth and jeans half way down his bum :D

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Stale bread and cheese, and send then to their rooms...(rooms devoid of a computer and a TV).

[heaven2002]

no not a montessori place, i dnt like their approach really... but a lot of nurseries nowadays dont use the "n" word anymore. but i can see why my manager doesnt allow the word... because i had this one child who would like u know hurt another child and u ask him why he did it, he would reply "r**i (his name) naughty boy"

is it a private nursery where parents pay through the nose to send their likkle one?

[ajnabee]

is it a private nursery where parents pay through the nose to send their likkle one?

no, not a private nursery, its a non-profit making nursery that is funded by the education institute that it is providing the service for. but yes, most parents are filthy rich and pay mad amounts of money to send their kids there.

my point about the boy was just to show that because his parents always tell him he is a naughty boy, he sort of believes its acceptable behaviour for him to hurt other children, snatch toys from them, etc because he has that label. am i making sense?

[heaven2002]

yes , thats called a 'self-fulfilling prophecy', so if you tell someone constantly that they are really bad then they will live upto that label in some cases

we try and use as much positive behaviour systems as we can in our school, but it doesnt stop us labelling some behaviour as wrong or naughty

[dhakiyya]

Hello,

Can I step in as a mod and make an important point,

When discussing punishment please say the general age of children that its intended for (I know one or two of you have mashaAllah) - its notalways obvious what age you mean, and some of the punishments described here would be excessively cruel and harsh if carried out on very young or particularly sensitive children. I know you didn't mean it like that, but please make it more clear what you mean to newcomers to this forum who don't know us yet.

[dhakiyya]

With regards labelling, if you call a kid something, the kid believes that is what she/he is. So call a kid naughty a few times and the kid will be naughty. Even with some teenagers the same applies. However labelling can be used in a positive way, like keep calling your child a good child, and say things like "good children wash their hands before dinner" to get them to wash their hands before dinner (etc)

[sunny_skies]

yes , thats called a 'self-fulfilling prophecy', so if you tell someone constantly that they are really bad then they will live upto that label in some cases

we try and use as much positive behaviour systems as we can in our school, but it doesnt stop us labelling some behaviour as wrong or naughty

True. We use lots of praise and encouragement at school, we use reward systems like sticker charts and end-of-the-week prizes, etc, but if a child is being naughty, he/she is being naughty and needs to be told. Like I said earlier, we make sure 'naughty' refers to the behaviour and not the child. Each school/nursery has their own behaviour policy too, they vary widely from place to place.