Wives

[seven]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous


You know what I did before married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[muslimah85]

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas :D

[K h a l i l]

loooool
I like the last one

:jkk:

[angel*]

ha ha ha jazakallah kahir loved them!!!! Q. my broz already got a philosaphy degree waz gonna happen to him when he gets hitched then?? :p

[K h a l i l]

ha ha ha jazakallah kahir loved them!!!! Q. my broz already got a philosaphy degree waz gonna happen to him when he gets hitched then?? :p

probably gonna go into further philosophy..

[Joha]

ha ha ha jazakallah kahir loved them!!!! Q. my broz already got a philosaphy degree waz gonna happen to him when he gets hitched then?? :p

That's cool! With philosophy you can conquer the world.

Well, and a bit of common sense.
And a little bit of Natural Philosophy.

[Joha]

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette


haha :rotfl:

Love: the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
~ Author unknown, printed in The Hoosier Farmer

[angel*]

probably gonna go into further philosophy..

:smack: that was what i was afraid of!:p



That's cool! With philosophy you can conquer the world.

Well, and a bit of common sense.
And a little bit of Natural Philosophy.



intersting point, but like he aint what ppl expect philospherz to be, u wont even b able to tell unless you find out!

[Joha]

intersting point, but like he aint what ppl expect philospherz to be, u wont even b able to tell unless you find out!

Yea well, it's the quiet ones that are the most dangerous.

Looking forward to hearing a few outrageous exploits in the next decade or so :p

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams


Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea"

Churchill:"Nancy, if i were your husband, i'd drink it"

(http://thinkexist.com/quotation/if_i_was_your_wife_sir-i-d_poison_you-madam-if/263849.html):) :D
:wswrwb:

[K h a l i l]

:start:

:salams


Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea"

Churchill:"Nancy, if i were your husband, i'd drink it"

(http://thinkexist.com/quotation/if_i_was_your_wife_sir-i-d_poison_you-madam-if/263849.html):) :D
:wswrwb:

looooooooooool
churchill... lol.. Im not sure shes the only one who would have liked to poison him..

[Medievalist]

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates


:rotfl:

[angel*]

looooooooooool
churchill... lol.. Im not sure shes the only one who would have liked to poison him..


but who would b dumb enuf 2 marry him in the 1st place????:p

[muslima_89]

ha ha ....wait till zee sees this lol

[angel*]

ha ha ....wait till zee sees this lol

ha ha i can just imagine!

[sunrise]

ha ha ....wait till zee sees this lol

lool

[ibn suleman]

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

---

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

---

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

---

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."


:outta: :p

[sunrise]

looooooool wow man that's love:love::love:













































:torture::nono:

But impediment one is kinda funni...i swear for some people it's true you see couples togther 9 times out of 10 she's talking he's listening :outta:

[alld]

how could one live without a wife ? :rubeyes:

[Joha]

how could one live without a wife ? :rubeyes:

Otherwise known as freedom ;)

[alld]

Otherwise known as freedom ;)

freedom will be gone slowly :D

[angel*]

freedom will be gone slowly :D

Awwww alld cheer up! :p

[ibn suleman]

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.”

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran

"A husband's last words should always be, OK buy it." -Unknown

“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” -Unknown

"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." -Oscar Wilde

:p :outta:
i should stop posting these :p

[alld]

Awwww alld cheer up! :p

That didn't mean that I don't have enough freedom ;)

[Raziel]

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.”

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran

"A husband's last words should always be, OK buy it." -Unknown

“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” -Unknown

"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." -Oscar Wilde

:p :outta:
i should stop posting these :p

lol! :rotfl:

:jkk:

[Asmara]

Funny, but exaggerated comments/quotes

[Bint_Khalid]

Husband Speak


"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing." Really means....
There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea." Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?" Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me." Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain." Really means....
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done." Really means....
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late." Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"You cook just like my mother used to." Really means....
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear." Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me." Really means....
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie." Really means....
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars."

"That's women's work." Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

[ibn suleman]

few men are in a gathering talking abt their wives...each saying how his wife is the best etc...
one guy raises his voice and says..my wife is the best mannered, she repsects me so much that she has never eaten on her own without me since we have been married, he said smugly, the others were quite impressed, he then asked them, ask me why, so they asked him why
he replies...each day after work, i collect my stuff, i phone home and tell my wife im coming home, and then when i get home...































i have to cook :rotfl:

[K h a l i l]

few men are in a gathering talking abt their wives...each saying how his wife is the best etc...
one guy raises his voice and says..my wife is the best mannered, she repsects me so much that she has never eaten on her own without me since we have been married, he said smugly, the others were quite impressed, he then asked them, ask me why, so they asked him why
he replies...each day after work, i collect my stuff, i phone home and tell my wife im coming home, and then when i get home...



i have to cook :rotfl:

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.... :rotfl: :rofl1: