Question for sisters?

[heaven2002]

Take this scenario:

You come from a small family. Few siblings, they live faraway.

Your parents are oldish, and though they dont depend on u for financial support your company means alot to them.

You get a rishta from a decent person who lives far away (say four / five hours drive)

You know that if you marry then your parents will only see you once in every 2 months. (they cant drive to see you, so youd have to make the trip)

Your parents say they dont mind you getting married this far if you want to , but you know it'l make them extremely sad.
What would you do?
(yes istikhara , but what for you would be the right thing? and moving ur prospective husband closer isnt an option)

[`asiya]

prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam said "if a righteous man comes to ask for your daughters hand then marry them, or there will be great fitnah in the land" logistics dont come into it insha Allah,i would marry first then later insha Allah can find a way to move the parents closer to u, or u closer to them insha Allah and visit them as often as possible, parents have to understand that their children need a life of their own at some point. Most parents understand that insha Allah, we raise up sons and daughters to have a life in their own right not to be our carers, and providers, and the parents in this scenario are not dependant on their child for daily care ie: theyre not both disabled or something.

[heaven2002]

yes i understand that
however moving closer to them in the future is not possible
and i know the parents in this case would never move from the place that they are at right now

[.: Anna :.]

i agree with asiya, and you dont KNOW its not possible to move closer together in the future. Allah can make anything possible and plus its not sooo unlikely compared to some things? husbands can get transfered 2 another office in work and stuff or if the parents want s 2 come closer to the daughter mayb once they are retired they would do it insha allah...
still u can visit them and they can come on the train or something down 2 u aswell, if its both mother and father im sure they could do that? also fone them regularly of course...
i live 3-4 hours from my parents so i only go see them every couple of months like u said, although they can come down here aswell n they do do that, and sometimes i go on holiday with em aswell like am doing in a week insha allah. living bit far doesnt have to be awful u cn still all remain close insha allah.

[Reptile]

I have no idea what i would do

[.: Rashid :.]

prophet salAllahu alleyhi wa salam said "if a righteous man comes to ask for your daughters hand then marry them, or there will be great fitnah in the land" logistics dont come into it insha Allah,i would marry first then later insha Allah can find a way to move the parents closer to u, or u closer to them insha Allah and visit them as often as possible, parents have to understand that their children need a life of their own at some point. Most parents understand that insha Allah, we raise up sons and daughters to have a life in their own right not to be our carers, and providers, and the parents in this scenario are not dependant on their child for daily care ie: theyre not both disabled or something.

I think in the subcontinent's culture at least, parents do raise their children as carers when their older (obviously not primarily for that but I mean that is one thing they "cite")

I think in thats situation she should just get married. Yes it all difficult and all etc but just read the hadith asiya posted...

-Rashid

[heaven2002]

so sister asiya, if say hypotheticaly your sons decided to marry and move far away and you couldnt move with them then you wudnt try to discourage them? ur a parent so i suppose u can understand the scenario from the parents view

and sister Anna , do u have siblings that live closer to ur parents than u do?

[UZMA KHALID]

salam

Accept the proposal and move

because you can always go and see you parents, it's very hard these days to find a nice and blessed man nowadays, same goes for sisters.


bye

[LiveIslam]

I have no idea what i would do
snap same here its too hard to decide:o

[.: Anna :.]

so sister asiya, if say hypotheticaly your sons decided to marry and move far away and you couldnt move with them then you wudnt try to discourage them? ur a parent so i suppose u can understand the scenario from the parents view

and sister Anna , do u have siblings that live closer to ur parents than u do?
nope. me and my 2 brothers were all in london but one jst moved abroad recently, my sis has been living abroad aswel but normally she stays in scotland. so we are kind of all spread about, my parents dont mind as they can visit us and we can visit them. plus they are not elderly at all, they are busy doing this and that, and they are happy with each others company when we are not there :)

[.: Rashid :.]

nope. me and my 2 brothers were all in london but one jst moved abroad recently, my sis has been living abroad aswel but normally she stays in scotland. so we are kind of all spread about, my parents dont mind as they can visit us and we can visit them. plus they are not elderly at all, they are busy doing this and that, and they are happy with each others company when we are not there :)

oh masha'Allah cool...must be nice having younger parents...

-Rashid

[angel*]

No idea, probs worry my lil head over it 4 agez give myself a gr8 headache and still b at sqr 1 :(

[`asiya]

so sister asiya, if say hypotheticaly your sons decided to marry and move far away and you couldnt move with them then you wudnt try to discourage them? ur a parent so i suppose u can understand the scenario from the parents view

and sister Anna , do u have siblings that live closer to ur parents than u do?


no i would encouarge them ukhti to follow their path and marry, even if they went to the other side of the world, they are my sons, I am not their keeper, I want them to get married ( even tryin to convince them in the next few years would be a good time insha Allah )

even now my sons are talking about how they will move away from the island one day because an average 2 bed home costs half a million pounds here, and they cant afford to stay in the land of their birth.

I tell them i want to move to the muslim lands insha Allah, and they said they will visit me there, I wont be able to travel alone to visit them, and if they like it there maybe they will move too Allahu alam.

either way I dont mind at all , what will be will be, when ( and if death doesnt overtake me before then insha Allah) i get old, and sick my sons both say they will bring me to live with them, say they will build me my own place next to theirs, and they have already promised not to put me in the old peoples home masha Allah ( and no i didnt have to bribe them to say that :D )

[.: Anna :.]

oh masha'Allah cool...must be nice having younger parents...

-Rashidwell they are not that young me n my sis are the youngest so mum had us in her early 30s but still these days in ur 50s is nothing so they are like in full health n fully active in life etc if u get me :up:masha allah :D

[heaven2002]

i think when uv been bought up in a certain culture where parents are like next after Allah then you're more torn when it comes to things like this
family is everything in certain cultures

[ur_yusra]

Do istikhara.

I think don't marry him and go for someone more local.

[`asiya]

i think when uv been bought up in a certain culture where parents are like next after Allah then you're more torn when it comes to things like this
family is everything in certain cultures

yes but those parents are still muslims,they also have to abide by Islam and give their children their rights too, as their children and as muslims of this ummah, they cannot opress their children, in any culture parents and children have astrong bond theres no doubt in that, my family are non muslim, but it has always been the custom that when it comes to marriage, u marry who is good for u inshaAllah, and have the full support and the family welcome that person into the family, and then when ur parents or ur spouses parents become old, u take care of them no question about that.It has been the way for generations in my family.

But when u have a culture that actually begins to opress young people, and not allow them to marry the people of their choice, due to this or that whimiscal reason then these parents are opressing their children, they had their life and their chances, and they must give their children the same and not be selfish about it insha Allah, unless the parent is in need of daily care then why would they want to prohibit their children from going out into the world spreading the dawa to other areas, marrying and extending the ties between other families, and anyway just imagine if all the sahabba had stayed at home with their mums.... the dawa of Al Islam would never have reached all over this planet...

[.: Rashid :.]

well they are not that young me n my sis are the youngest so mum had us in her early 30s but still these days in ur 50s is nothing so they are like in full health n fully active in life etc if u get me :up:masha allah :D

Oh right...my parents are/were that age except not very healthy due to bad asian lifestly etc...

My mum had me when she was in her 40s subhanallah

-Rashid

[MMS]

Do istikhara.

I think don't marry him and go for someone more local.

thats what i would probably do :)

[xyz]

I wouldnt marry him unall, id inshallah wait for someone more local and even if he doesnt have as many qualities as the other one, id inshallah be content in knowin that i am close to me parents

[znisha]

Personally, I don't want to be far away from my family, although I know it's my happiness involved with the marriage. But actually, neither my parents would want me to move. I turned down a chance to move to holland to get married with a guy I met on muslimmatrimonial.com . We don't communicate, but he still sent me that ruby necklace he promised.

[sunrise]

salam

if your parents live far away now, then what's the issue? you don't see them much now anyways?

[Supernova Nebula]

salam

Accept the proposal and move

because you can always go and see you parents, it's very hard these days to find a nice and blessed man nowadays, same goes for sisters.


bye

True say. it's cultural really. It doesnt mean if u move and live a new life with your husband make you an ungrateful daughter and u wont be able to visit your parents at all. Islamically once married, a husband has more right over his wife than the wife's parents. In some culture like mine, it's not that nice to live with your parents once married. people mostly will be like, hey come one, your parents had taken care of you enough (although at 55 youre stil your parents' baby!), now it's time to move out and live your own life. but of course again, this is case by case situation.

[heaven2002]

But when u have a culture that actually begins to opress young people, and not allow them to marry the people of their choice, due to this or that whimiscal reason then these parents are opressing their children, QUOTE]


this scenario its not so much about oppresing , like i said the parents would give their blessing but the daughter knowing her parents well, would know that theyre really sad and unhappy about the distance as they dont have much family


[QUOTE=znisha;1940344] We don't communicate, but he still sent me that ruby necklace he promised.


um okay :rubeyes:

salam

if your parents live far away now, then what's the issue? you don't see them much now anyways?

they dont live far away, she lives with them at the moment

[aisha2007]

Asalaam Alaikum

I moved 4,500 miles away from my parents to marry my husband.
My family, who are non muslim, live in the UK still while I am in the US. I call them twice a week, and when I know they will be at my brothers home we chat on web cam.
Alhamdulillah in this day and age there are many ways to keep in touch.
To marry is half of your deen and you must protect your deen with a good husband or wife.
Alhamdulillah you do not know your destiny....Allah may have made plans for your family to move closer to you....you do not know.
Alhamdulillah Allah is the best of all planners, it is written in your destiny to receive this proposal. You cannot live your life through your parents, nor can they live their lives through you.
You respect, honour and cherish them...but you also have your own life to lead. Once you leave your father's home, your life and obedience is then to your husband.....but your parents are always there for you too.
So if you have received a proposal and it is just geography which makes you think twice, marry.

[heaven2002]

^^^i think when you have other sisters or brothers who live close to parents then its easier to move away - u feel less guilty about it possibly

[heaven2002]

In some culture like mine, it's not that nice to live with your parents once married. people mostly will be like, hey come one, your parents had taken care of you enough (although at 55 youre stil your parents' baby!), now it's time to move out and live your own life. but of course again, this is case by case situation.


yes im not saying this persn wants to live with their parents indefinately
im talking about distance

[MMS]

^^^i think when you have other sisters or brothers who live close to parents then its easier to move away - u feel less guilty about it possibly

yeh, the way i see it if her other siblings have already moved far away, there comes a point when ur parents get old and they can no longer manage on their own

what are u going to do then put them in a old peoples home??? :rubeyes:

ur parents raise u and do everything for u when u are a helpless child, so why think twice about returning the favour when they become helpless

potential spouses come and go, ya cant replace yer parents once they are gone

[Umm Mu3aadh]

yes im not saying this persn wants to live with their parents indefinately
im talking about distance

As-salaamu `alaykum sister,

You are in a very tricky situation. May Allaah aid you.

I think the first thing you should do is sit with your parents and talk to them. Tell them how you feel and see their response.

Do you think you will find a good brother locally? If so, you might want to look into that option.

Also, this brother that you have got a proposal, might be willing to move near your parents? Alot of married couples do that nowadays.

[`asiya]

yeh, the way i see it if her other siblings have already moved far away, there comes a point when ur parents get old and they can no longer manage on their own

what are u going to do then put them in a old peoples home??? :rubeyes:

ur parents raise u and do everything for u when u are a helpless child, so why think twice about returning the favour when they become helpless

potential spouses come and go, ya cant replace yer parents once they are gone

yea but cant u move back when that time comes, when they are actually old and sick. unless your parents are like in their mid 70`s then they are not going to be in need of anyone to take care of them insha Allah ( unless theyre ill of course but no matter what age u would be there for that)

so if your parents are under 70 then why do u need to live close by them for your whole life :scratch: u can still keep in touch, visit each other, my mums 62 healthy fit and active, still rides her bike for miles each day for fun, and she would hate me to think that she was in need of my assistance, or that i wouldnt move somewhere for the sake of a better life insha Allah and especially in the case of marriage which could bring so much happiness insha Allah to so many people, she would never want me to forsake all that just because of her, she has her own life to live, and her own things to do with her time, and it doesnt revolve around her grown up children.

Most parents are just glad to see their kids all grown up, having got through in one piece adult and mature enough to be able to cope without them and have a life of their own insha Allah. When ur kids get married its like phewwwww... what a relief .. this is our time now :D

[aisha2007]

yes im not saying this persn wants to live with their parents indefinately
im talking about distance

Asalaam Alaikum

Yes it is about distance. But is it about distance really....or are you afraid to leave the home and marry?
It is a big decision to make in your life....but a magical one.
Allah has pointed you to someone, and this may well be your destiny.
I do not come from a large family, my parents are in their 60's and I had to make the decision to move to the US knowing my dad has leukeamia which is becoming progressively worse.
Alhamdulillah I still made the decision to move. My father will be with me Insha Allah 6 more months, my husband 40 more years Insha Allah.
Ofcourse I cried when I left them...I think I cried all of the way across the Atlantic!!!! But to see the look on my husband's face I knew I had made the right choice Alhamdulillah.
You need to be performing salat, we as sisters can only give you our own experiences, only Allah Subhanawat'Allah can guide you.
I pray Allah helps you find your reasoning and makes your decision easier. Ameen

[heaven2002]

yes and i think because the poll shows there is no clear favourite decision that things like this are very hard to decide

what i was saying about cultures is that genearlly speaking in some cultures there is more emphasis on respcting parents from an early age , regardless of religion

so you'l probably find that there are more african and asian people living nearer to their parents than people who arnt from certain asian and african cultures

was watching this programme about members from an african tribe who just couldnt get their head around why anyone would move far away from their parents, as it was just a foreign and strange idea to them

[aisha2007]

yes and i think because the poll shows there is no clear favourite decision that things like this are very hard to decide

what i was saying about cultures is that genearlly speaking in some cultures there is more emphasis on respcting parents from an early age , regardless of religion

so you'l probably find that there are more african and asian people living nearer to their parents than people who arnt from certain asian and african cultures

was watching this programme about members from an african tribe who just couldnt get their head around why anyone would move far away from their parents, as it was just a foreign and strange idea to them


Sister I think the poll does indicate what the majority of sisters would do. But it is your choice....no one can make it for you.

[$HugoBoss$]

My sister had to move to the states when she got married, my mom was very sad for at least a year and obviously my sister as well. My mom visits my sister about twice a year and vice versa. As long as they see eachother it's good and all my mom wants is to see her happy.

Currently it's me and my sister living with the rents but i'm trying to get rid of my sister, not to many good brothers around like me for a rishta :D

[sunny_skies]

Salam sis,

Istikharah first, obviously. Then if youre happy with this man then marry him. Insha allah he is a good Muslim who will understand the rights of parents and would never stop you visiting them or even finding a happy medium whereby you move out (I think you mentioned the 'other' parents not moving?) and visit both sets of parents equally. Of course Islamically both sets of parents have rights to be respected and loved by their children.

I know cultural issues get in the way sometimes, I have seen this happen before, but Insha allah you said it is a good rishta so must be a practicing brother?

[Bint_Khalid]

My sister had to move to the states when she got married, my mom was very sad for at least a year and obviously my sister as well. My mom visits my sister about twice a year and vice versa. As long as they see eachother it's good and all my mom wants is to see her happy.

Currently it's me and my sister living with the rents but i'm trying to get rid of my sister, not to many good brothers around like me for a rishta :D

:rotfl:

You just have to look at the right places insha'allah you will find some good brothers for your sister..ameen

[Ebony]

I dont like this scenario :S

[$HugoBoss$]

I dont like this scenario :S

It's a typical scenario, a women belongs in the husbands house regardless of location, you have to live with it and adjust to the situation. If not find someone else that lives close to your parents within a hour or so if it's that sadening.

[sunny_skies]

It's a typical scenario, a women belongs in the husbands house regardless of location, you have to live with it and adjust to the situation. If not find someone else that lives close to your parents within a hour or so if it's that sadening.

She belongs in her husbands home but not in his parents home. That is her wish if she wants to live with them. I know in our cultures it is expected of the new bride to live with her in-laws, but Alhamdulillah this is changing as more families come to realise the wife's rights in Islam.

If someone is in this situation and cannot move out, then it's understandable that she refuse the proposal if she wishes to live closer to her parents. However, as someone mentioned above, it is difficult to find a good spouse these days.

[Ebony]

It's a typical scenario, a women belongs in the husbands house regardless of location, you have to live with it and adjust to the situation. If not find someone else that lives close to your parents within a hour or so if it's that sadening.

Its not "typical" :rolleyes: Some women would clearly and purposely seek proposals that are nearer to their home so they can visit their parents w/o straining or putting stress on their husband and his parents (if she lives with them)

It depends on you as a person. Some women would be willng to move away from their parents IF it means they are able to visit them at least a few times throughout the year. It depends on how "understanding" the husband is and of course what your personal circumstances allow you to do.

Each to their own. Each person is different and know if they are able to live away from their parents. Some can, some can't.

[$HugoBoss$]

Its not "typical" :rolleyes: Some women would clearly and purposely seek proposals that are nearer to their home so they can visit their parents w/o straining or putting stress on their husband and his parents (if she lives with them)

It depends on you as a person. Some women would be willng to move away from their parents IF it means they are able to visit them at least a few times throughout the year. It depends on how "understanding" the husband is and of course what your personal circumstances allow you to do.

Each to their own. Each person is different and know if they are able to live away from their parents. Some can, some can't.

It is a typical situation and i agree with what your saying but i wouldn't give up a good proposal because i can't live close to my parents. It maybe tough at start but you just have to get used to it.

[Eemaan]

my parents said the further away the better :(

thats what i would probably do :)

PMS your avatar is pathetic :( .

i knowblokes arms: i know the differenace between good solid arms and freaky ones and your 'partners' arms (did you even have a walimah :rubeyes: ) are freaky, all out of proportion with your freaky body. hoe their handing over you all disjointed and hooked looking are beyond me.

and dont get me started on how petite you made yourself look :rubeyes:

:smack: now we know that aint true sista :eek3:

anyway PMS how you bins :D long time no see :love:

[`asiya]

:scratch: ukhti .... :0:

:icon_offtopic:

take it to the ladies section insha Allah...

[Honey87]

I agree with sis Asiya. If the sister feels that this is guy is the one for her, she should marry him as her parents are fine with it.

Like another sis mentionned, communicating and keeping contact is so easy nowadays. and if the parents do not need to be cared for what is the issue?? I have aunts that have married abroad/or 5hours drive away and it was upsetting at the beginning. but it was good for them, bcos they have wonderful husbands and when they come to visit, it's really special.

I know some may say, potential spouses come and go, or you may find someone local, but really, if someone that has come from a far distance proposes and he seems almost perfect for you, it would be a shame to turn them down due to location.

You never know what the future holds.

[heaven2002]

just to clarify this scenario isnt about living with in laws
its about a daughter moving far away when her parents dont have much family

anyways thanx for all ur opinions

keep them coming

[sunny_skies]

just to clarify this scenario isnt about living with in laws
its about a daughter moving far away when her parents dont have much family

anyways thanx for all ur opinions

keep them coming

Ok, if this isnt an issue then the couple can Insha allah move closer to her parents :)

Unless a major cultural issue is stopping them, ie, having to live with the in-laws.

[heaven2002]

^^^ like i said earlier in the thread that isnt possible
but thanks for ur post:up:

[znisha]

salam

if your parents live far away now, then what's the issue? you don't see them much now anyways?


Wa alaikum asalam
I'm still home with my family.

[mara]

If its only 4 or 5 hours you could go each second day to see them :) Shopping, cleaning house and after go back to your husband :). Its not so difficult how it seems.

[neelu]

I clicked on accept the proposal and move because it is SO hard to find a good rishta with good compatible qualities as it is, that if a person restricts the criterion even further to finding a man who lives nearby- not only would that make it even harder to find a compatible rishta, but also it offers no guarantees as the local bro could decide to move to another town/country a couple of months or years later.

I'd say that as well as accepting the proposal, a back up plan should be made so that the parents do not become completely abandoned. This can either mean that the parents find a way to move closer to you, or that at least one of the other siblings either moves closer to the parents or visits them regularly so that they're not left completely on their own.

[sis_niqabi]

salam

i think i would turn down the proposal. i love my parents too much. or maybe i would marry the brother but i could maybe convince him to let my parents move in with us.or we move in with them

[$HugoBoss$]

salam

i think i would turn down the proposal. i love my parents too much. or maybe i would marry the brother but i could maybe convince him to let my parents move in with us.or we move in with them

Yeah well sis your not the only one that loves their parents, i'm sure heaven lover her parents just as much, maybe thats why she's so tensed about it. There comes a time for a sister where she has to make the biggest change of her life, seperating from her parents and building her own home.

[ummbilal]

yes i understand that
however moving closer to them in the future is not possible
and i know the parents in this case would never move from the place that they are at right now

I would marry, only Allah knows the future.

[Asmara]

I'd stay close to my parents. I would hate to ever be far away from them.

[aisha2007]

I'd stay close to my parents. I would hate to ever be far away from them.

Loving parents want to see their kids happy. My mom cried for a whole afternoon when I told her I was moving to Florida....but she also knows that it is the best thing for us.
To refuse a proposal just to stay at home or so close to parents I think is madness. Where does love come into any of this? Do you love your parents above your husband? The answer should be no.
Your parents are there for you as your past life...the people who Alhamdulillah nurtured you and brought you up to be the best person possible, and then set you free to the home of your husband, the man you love, your husband is the father of your children.....the next generation of Islam. Insha Allah.
My family are never far from my thoughts....but my husband is my priority now.

[heaven2002]

[QUOTE=aisha2007;1942420]
To refuse a proposal just to stay at home or so close to parents I think is madness. Where does love come into any of this?

i think daughters who may be an only child or not have siblings near their parents do look for proposals close to home

Do you love your parents above your husband? The answer should be no.

i think many would say yes esp at the beginning when you dont know the person well

[muslimah85]

What will be will be :).

Close or far a duty to ones parent will be the same. If a bond is strong this will be acted upon no matter where one is. :)

[Asmara]

Loving parents want to see their kids happy. My mom cried for a whole afternoon when I told her I was moving to Florida....but she also knows that it is the best thing for us.
To refuse a proposal just to stay at home or so close to parents I think is madness. Where does love come into any of this? Do you love your parents above your husband? The answer should be no.
Your parents are there for you as your past life...the people who Alhamdulillah nurtured you and brought you up to be the best person possible, and then set you free to the home of your husband, the man you love, your husband is the father of your children.....the next generation of Islam. Insha Allah.
My family are never far from my thoughts....but my husband is my priority now.


How could I love a man who proposes to me, and whom I've known for 5 minutes, more than my parents?

[angel*]

For me it would b really difficult bcuz 4 me my fmily is everything, but i do know that if it was a goo rishta and i was happy with the guy they would i insist i marry him no matter how much it may break my heart to go away from them, 4-5 hrz i ca deal with cuz that way i culd go see them easily, more than that and i would b like o..k...:outta: but leave it up to Allah swt to decide whats best 4 me.

[stephenoskie]

you know I love my ma and we have been thropugh a lot so I couldnt just leave her for some one I dont know

[Kubs]

This is a very difficult question.

I'd probably stay close to the parents because you only have one mum and one dad. It would be heartbreaking to leave them especially if they are old and financially depend on the girl. As someone earlier mentioned....this has 'nothing' to do with culture.

However if they were able to take care of themselves and if she really did love this man and ideally they were a good match....then she should leave. I'm sure she could still help them financially.

:)

[munyeka]

Sallams sister....

Poor you, i empathise with you in the sense my mummy has been very ill for a long time. I am the youngest of the family (24), and my bro and sis are both married.

Alhumdollilah we all live with bro and his family, and sister lives nearby. However I am the primary carer of my mummy, and one of the reasond
s ive still not married is becuase i dont want to leave her. However grdually she has got used to the idea, i will have to move away and so have i, and i pray allah gives us stregnth to do the inevitable when the time comes.

My dear sister, to find a brother that you are compatiable with and is decent is like looking for a needle in a haystack these days. yet on the same level, love for ones parents in unconditional, its not culture, its inherent, and i dread the day that i have to leave them for my husband.

But if they are happy, then with their blessings go ahead. They will cope - trust me my parents are coping very well with me working full time, although i still go home to visit them at lunch time. hehehe.

Its not going to be easy, and dont be niave and think it will. Be ralistic, make dua and inshallah with the help of the Almighty and the support and love of ur husband, things will be ok!!!

Masallama

[Cristiana]

If the guy is only "decent" maybe I'd stay close to my parents...

[Christianlady]

Um I don't know if I can answer this or not, sorry if I'm not allowed.

I think it'd be good to get in writing from the future husband to supply transportation to the parents' house once a month or so AND it would be cool if he could come too... if God wills I get a husband, I am hoping the said husband will become friends with my Dad and family members and they can go fishing together or something fun at least once every month and I can have fun SHOPPING :) or making cookies or something with my Mom and sisters :) I would want to establish this desire in writing with his agreeing though before getting married to the lucky guy :p :)

So, agreeing to go and get to know and enjoy spending time with the wife's family I think would be cool to see if he will agree to do in this case of the post :)

[`asiya]

Um I don't know if I can answer this or not, sorry if I'm not allowed.

I think it'd be good to get in writing from the future husband to supply transportation to the parents' house once a month or so AND it would be cool if he could come too... if God wills I get a husband, I am hoping the said husband will become friends with my Dad and family members and they can go fishing together or something fun at least once every month and I can have fun SHOPPING :) or making cookies or something with my Mom and sisters :) I would want to establish this desire in writing with his agreeing though before getting married to the lucky guy :p :)

So, agreeing to go and get to know and enjoy spending time with the wife's family I think would be cool to see if he will agree to do in this case of the post :)

sounds good, and yup thats the beautiful thing about getting married, u get a whole new family to hang out with too insha Allah :inlove: