View Full Version : Why do people confine or restrict them to marry only in the family and not outside?
saddamkhalid
15-06-07, 05:21 PM
Why do people confine or restrict them to marry only in the family and not outside?
Do not they people think that According to Islam, it is unfair?
Amethyst
15-06-07, 05:23 PM
:scratch:
i think its a cultural thing, more security if the marriage is within the extended family?
it is allowed according to Islam but if they are not being forced and its their own choice, i dont see the problem.
saddamkhalid
15-06-07, 05:48 PM
:scratch:
i think its a cultural thing, more security if the marriage is within the extended family?
it is allowed according to Islam but if they are not being forced and its their own choice, i dont see the problem.
dear what to those children, who do not want to marry wintin the family. As in islam, to compell some one is not allowed. and in marriage cases, there should be the willingness from both parties. i think those who are abiding by their culture in this case, are wrong and are being deviating from the right path.
dear what to those children, who do not want to marry wintin the family. As in islam, to compell some one is not allowed. and in marriage cases, there should be the willingness from both parties. i think those who are abiding by their culture in this case, are wrong and are being deviating from the right path.
absolutely agree with u masha Allah. There is no tribalisim in Islam, we are all muslim regardless of our race/tribe etc. Alhamdulillah :up:
Tax-Man
15-06-07, 07:03 PM
Such people who are addament on same race/tribe marragies have a sick illness in their hearts.
Neurostyler
15-06-07, 07:11 PM
Do you mean people are encouraged to marry relatives???
Such people who are addament on same race/tribe marragies have a sick illness in their hearts.
*nods in agreement*
Do you mean people are encouraged to marry relatives???
Mmmm sum ppl have no choice, yep true it happens, if the bride and groom are happy thas kool if not, thas wrong but sum ppl have weird brainz and insist on it, iv seen it happen in asian culture. *shakeshead*
Neurostyler
15-06-07, 07:18 PM
Why would some people have 'no choice'? Are they forced into marriage- if so that is wrong!
Don't most people feel a sense of revulsion when thinking about the possibility of marrying a relative? Surely this isn't good for increasing genetic variation in the gene pool. The offspring of such a union would be more prone to developing any illness caused by recessive allele pairing.
Tax-Man
15-06-07, 07:20 PM
Don't most people feel a sense of revulsion when thinking about the possibility of marrying a relative?
I do
Why would some people have 'no choice'? Are they forced into marriage- if so that is wrong!
Very wrong and against Islam
Don't most people feel a sense of revulsion when thinking about the possibility of marrying a relative? Surely this isn't good for increasing genetic variation in the gene pool. The offspring of such a union would be more prone to developing any illness caused by recessive allele pairing.
yh the thoughts not a nice 1 *shudders*
Why do people confine or restrict them to marry only in the family and not outside?
Do not they people think that According to Islam, it is unfair?
Because they are either racist or superstitious. There is also a myth going round that families become closer when marriages are done within the family when in fact this is not always the case. People who favour ignorant superstitions instead of Islam end up with these stupid beliefs biting them on the *** in the end.
On the other hand, cousin marriages are permitted in Islam and should be viewed as an option, not an obligation. Cousin marriages are neither an obligation, nor are they repulsive as Allah (swt) did not make a mistake in permitting it!
Treasured Soul
15-06-07, 10:04 PM
On the other hand, cousin marriages are permitted in Islam and should be viewed as an option, not an obligation. Cousin marriages are neither an obligation, nor are they repulsive as Allah (swt) did not make a mistake in permitting it!
truely said ... anything permitted by Allah (swt) cannot and should not be considered repulsive.
I think alot of cousin marriages are a cultural thing, i dont think any superstition is involved and i dont think harm is meant by it ... i think they do it more out of security than anything else. What would you prefer ... to marry your kids into a known family or unknown family ... of course, with the premission of the couple about to wed.
Also, iv noticed for ppl that marry thier kids within the same sect/family, the ppl of that sect/family try to keep the couple together incase of any problems. In places like the UK and the States, I dont think what these ppl have to say really matters But in places like pakistan, what the ppl of the community say holds alot of weight, quite influential.
Marrying outside the family i think is usually the better option ... bringing together two families/communities and it diverisifies the gene pool.
But hey, as long as its allowed in Islam, ppl can do as they please :)
Irfan GBH
16-06-07, 04:04 PM
Alot of people do it cuz they're very paranoid about a potential spouses life prior to meeting them. There's a significant number of young people who live in bollywood fantasies and so they take up dating and drinking etc when they're young, then quit when they mature and decide to marry. Altho I'm sure it ain't a huge number it's significant enough to make everyone paranoid about a potential spouse, hence alot of people just end up marrying a cousin since they have know enough about them to be sure they ain't been upto anything dodgy. Personally I think they're too paranoid.
tux08902
16-06-07, 04:36 PM
dear what to those children, who do not want to marry wintin the family. As in islam, to compell some one is not allowed. and in marriage cases, there should be the willingness from both parties. i think those who are abiding by their culture in this case, are wrong and are being deviating from the right path.
That hit the nail on the head. Due to cultural norms, many Muslims do not accept that rule of marriage, and they think that the arranged marriage (parent-approved only) is the only way of marriage, which I think is complete...I've been warned for foul language twice before. I don't want to antagonize somebody again.
All I know is that I will never marry in my family. There is only one person I could marry in my family, my cousin and well, I would not be happy...hey, I'm not very happy talking to her now cause she's whack...
Desipower
16-06-07, 07:02 PM
Some people get so defensive about something to the point of ignorance that it can be sickening. Marriage in cousins is not only allowed but also islamic. There is nothing that is against Islam if one wants to marry within their own race or tribe or family (extended). Prophet (saws) said if you want to marry within your tribe only than you can do that. The arabs did all the time at he time of prophet and he never said anything to them except once. There was one sahaba to whom the prophet (saws) said to marry outside for your blood is growing thin. That sahaba had been marrying within the family only and if you continue to do that than each passing generation had thinner blood, weaker immune system and more prone to illness becuase same gene pool is being circulated and no new blood is coming in the family.
Otherwise, if one wants to marry within one family race or tibe then that is acceptable and does not contradict islam one bit. It's often people who got neglected over becuase they were don't fit in that criteria that have strong opinions against this. Get over yourself ok! With that said, there is no force in islam either. If someone wants to or take their parents advice and feelings into consideration and marry their cousins then by all means, if not then they should not be forced into it.
I could never marry any of my cousins. Somalis rarely marry their cousins.
I love my cousins, whether they are 1st 2nd 3rd cousins. I talk to them like they're my brothers. I guess it's a cultural thing.
Each to their own! :1popcorn:
as sum of u hv sed - its a cultural thing.
I thnk parents feel reassurd if th mariage is kept in the family (if its arrangd) cuz thn they no hu thr sendin thr daughtr 2 n wot kinda family thy r etc.
Medievalist
28-06-07, 12:13 PM
Because there is more chance of kafa'at in status, wealth, upbringing, values etc when you marry in your family.
Religion also demands us to maintain family ties - and marriage within the family strengthen family ties.
having said that - nowt wrong with marrying outside yr family either.
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