Converting to Islam and getting married in the same day.

[sis_niqabi]

salam

i know a lot of sisters who get converted to Islam and right after get married. there is nothing wrong with this.as getting married is half of the deen. however i wonder, should a muslimah wait a little while after converting and the get married? because as we know converting to Islam is a huge step and takes some adjusting to. do you think a new convert should take some time to getting comfortable with themselves as a Muslim before starting a marriage?

note: this is thread is not meant to turn into an argument or fitna. so please keep your post reasonable and nice

[angel*]

salam

i know a lot of sisters who get converted to Islam and right after get married. there is nothing wrong with this.as getting married is half of the deen. however i wonder, should a muslimah wait a little while after converting and the get married? because as we know converting to Islam is a huge step and takes some adjusting to. do you think a new convert should take some time to getting comfortable with themselves as a Muslim before starting a marriage?

note: this is thread is not meant to turn into an argument or fitna. so please keep your post reasonable and nice

Mmmm converting IS a BIG step, imho i think waiting 4 a bit is agood choice instead of rushing into sumthing like marraige which cumz with loadsa responsibilities, taking time out to explore the den would be good wise decision.

[.: Anna :.]

if people want to do that it is up to them...
example which comes to mind although is the other way round, the man converting then getting married straight away, its the husband of umm sulaym (rumaysa bint milhan) radhiallahu anhaa.. she put for her mahr for him 2 convert, so he did and then they got married. so we cdnt really say is something wrong with this kind of thing.

[`asiya]

im a convert to Islam and i didnt marry until i had been a muslim for 4 years.I spent the whole of those 4 years, day and night studying hard and learning my deen, Alhamdulillah im so glad i did,and that Allah ta ala allowed me that. because my husband did not behave in an Islamic way towards me at all, and had i not had knowledge of my deen, then audu billah maybe i would have thought that the appauling way my husband behaved, was what Islam taught, as he was highly regarded amongst brothers and others, because he was hafiz of Quran and had great knowledge but knowing Islam and acting upon it, to please Allah ta ala or to twist it to suit your own desires, are two seperate things.

I would advise all muslims to seek knowledge of their deen in any aspect of life they are entering into,when u become a muslim u start at the beggining, u learn first the 5 pillars, aqeedah, the attributes of Allah ta ala, and all that entails, how to pray, how to fast, what amount of zakat to pay and the fiqh of those, and work from there, if u are entering into buisness then u have to learn the fiqh of buisness transactions, if u are getting married same thing applies u better learn all the obligations upon you, and your spouse towards u before u get married insha Allah, without such knowledge u are susceptible to abuse in marriage. wether u are a convert or not that same applies, many people get abused in marriage even those who were born to muslim families, and all because they do not have knowledge of their deen.

[sunny_skies]

I think it depends on the individual, every case is different. Some people study Islam long and hard before converting, in which case it may be fine for them to marry straight after converting. Others know nothing about Islam when converting, in which case it may be better to learn as much as you can about the Deen before marrying.

Marriage is also a huge commitment, and studying the rights of the husband and wife in great detail before marrying wil definitely be a bonus, especially in cases where the wife is abused as the sister above mentioned. It's harmful to us as Muslims when a newly converted woman marries, is ill-treated and so she goes off Islam completely, says and does things against Islam due to her ill-treatment. This spreads the wrong message and doesnt help anybody.

Remember, both are acts of righteousness so there is no 'wrong' order, it just depends on how each person feels.

My husband studied and researched Islam with the help of his Muslim friends for two years before he converted, then spent another two years learning after he'd converted, after which we met and married. So he had studied Islam for a total of four years before getting married. Like I said, it's completely upto the individual and how they feel.

[Neurostyler]

if people want to do that it is up to them...
example which comes to mind although is the other way round, the man converting then getting married straight away, its the husband of umm sulaym (rumaysa bint milhan) radhiallahu anhaa.. she put for her mahr for him 2 convert, so he did and then they got married. so we cdnt really say is something wrong with this kind of thing.

Can you ask such a thing of the person you wish to marry? That they hold faith? Or is it being asked that they profess the faith and perform all the associated acts.

[Ebony]

Its quite a dangerous ground to tread by creating the condition of conversion in order to marry, since there will always be doubt of whether he/she converted because they wished to and believed in the principles of Islam or because its convenient for the other person.

[Zesty]

Sister Asiya.. excellent post and i agree :)

[.: Anna :.]

Can you ask such a thing of the person you wish to marry? That they hold faith? Or is it being asked that they profess the faith and perform all the associated acts.

are you asking whether they just outwardly become muslim to get married but inside they dont really belive? that is not allowed... if you outward act like a muslim but inside you are not, this is behaviour of a munafiq actually. if you ask someone to accept islam and they sincerely do so with an actual belief this is fine. That is the example that i was referring to, the man did properly become Muslim. In that situation she has to ask him to become Muslim if he wants to marry her because muslim women are not allowed to marry any non muslims (including christian or jews), that marriage would not be valid.
But noone should convert just because they want to marry someone, there should be the willingness to follow Islam properly and be a muslim in ur actions and belief not just by saying shahada, getting married and that is the matter finished... ive seen examples of this and they dont teach the kids islam properly at all.

[neelu]

im a convert to Islam and i didnt marry until i had been a muslim for 4 years.I spent the whole of those 4 years, day and night studying hard and learning my deen, Alhamdulillah im so glad i did,and that Allah ta ala allowed me that. because my husband did not behave in an Islamic way towards me at all, and had i not had knowledge of my deen, then audu billah maybe i would have thought that the appauling way my husband behaved, was what Islam taught, as he was highly regarded amongst brothers and others, because he was hafiz of Quran and had great knowledge but knowing Islam and acting upon it, to please Allah ta ala or to twist it to suit your own desires, are two seperate things.


This is good advice and very relevant to Pandora's thread as well.

[Asmara]

salam

i know a lot of sisters who get converted to Islam and right after get married. there is nothing wrong with this.as getting married is half of the deen. however i wonder, should a muslimah wait a little while after converting and the get married? because as we know converting to Islam is a huge step and takes some adjusting to. do you think a new convert should take some time to getting comfortable with themselves as a Muslim before starting a marriage?

note: this is thread is not meant to turn into an argument or fitna. so please keep your post reasonable and nice

I don't see how this thread could turn into an argument, but anyway, if the sister feels ready to get married on the same day that she reverted-that's alright I suppose. Especially if she knows the brother.