Must READ!! married bro/sis

[ursister]

assalaamu alaykum,

This is my first post, I pray that what I contribute is beneficial and that Allaah forgives me for any bad doing and that my bro/sis understand my words and forgive me if I offend them unintentionally.

I want to raise some taboo topics, why? to gain understanding, which I hope will make me a better sister, wife, and mother inshaaAllaah.

Usually, I try to put on all the niceties when writing as a sign of good adaab, but in some of these posts I want to try and be straight forward (not in a rude way) so you can understand what I'm saying clearly (and not sugar coat things).

I'm between 30-40 years old and have many children in their teens and younger. I've been married for years and try to follow Islaam strictly inshaaAllaah. I'm a housewife and my hubby works alhamdulillaah.

I pray that mature brothers and sisters will participate in these discussions that affect us in the UK and will be real people, if you want to join in but feel that people will know your sins or you'll feel shamed, then I suggest you re-register and join in inshaaAllaah.


Here is the first topic:

Is the real reason for watching TV, movies etc. because you love looking at naked women? (Yusuf Estes said on a video thats the reason)

Why are brothers watching Porn secretly when they're already married? (a report showed that in Saudi, most internet hits were to Porn sites/ on some forums sisters have complained that they caught their hubbies watching it!)

Is it really hard to lower your gaze in UK?

If your wife is Fit/Sexy does that help you lower your gaze or no matter how good she is, you'd look anyway?

A brother said the first wife is married for love and the second is for the nafs, what do you think?

[sunny_skies]

I think you've aimed these questions at brothers especially??
But no, I don't think it's difficult to lower our gaze here in the UK, we may have more fitnah and vulgarity here, especially in summertime, but really, this shouldnt be a problem for anyone.
If you really want to lower your gaze from deep down in your heart, you will.

Maybe the brothers can elaborate?

[angel*]

assalaamu alaykum,

Err sis not married but ill contribute anyway:p

Here is the first topic:

Is the real reason for watching TV, movies etc. because you love looking at naked women? (Yusuf Estes said on a video thats the reason)

:eek: NO-WAY!


Why are brothers watching Porn secretly when they're already married?

:shock: they are???

Is it really hard to lower your gaze in UK?

Nope, easy, look down carry on walking:p

If your wife is Fit/Sexy does that help you lower your gaze or no matter how good she is, you'd look anyway?

:eek3: O..k.... i seriously think a bro shuld contribute im :outta:

A brother said the first wife is married for love and the second is for the nafs, what do you think?

I think 1st wife shuld b last wife cuz not many bro'z can do justice between 2 wives,

[.: Anna :.]

Assalaamu alaykum

I think its a bit weird what you are saying, particularly about the tv i dont think people watch it to see naked people? firstly because the people on tv are not naked, and mostly not even near to naked unless u watch like mtv or something where they could be... it seems people watch it mainly for the news or some entertainment? seems strange to say that if a husband watched tv then deep down he must be thinking "i want to look at porn and stare at other women". If this was the only reason of watching tv then what do u say abt women who watched it then?? I dont think we hav ne desire 2 watch like what u are saying :S na3oodhu bilaah...

[junaidb]

assalaamu alaykum,

:wswrwb:

This is my first post, I pray that what I contribute is beneficial and that Allaah forgives me for any bad doing and that my bro/sis understand my words and forgive me if I offend them unintentionally.

Alhamdulillah....May Allah accept ur intentions and May He make us benefit from each other.....ameen...

I want to raise some taboo topics, why? to gain understanding, which I hope will make me a better sister, wife, and mother inshaaAllaah.

Usually, I try to put on all the niceties when writing as a sign of good adaab, but in some of these posts I want to try and be straight forward (not in a rude way) so you can understand what I'm saying clearly (and not sugar coat things).

I'm between 30-40 years old and have many children in their teens and younger. I've been married for years and try to follow Islaam strictly inshaaAllaah. I'm a housewife and my hubby works alhamdulillaah.

Im also in the same age group as you Alhamdulillah, married for over 10years (shukr) and have 3 Masha-Allah kids). Only Im not from UK, im from South Africa.

I pray that mature brothers and sisters will participate in these discussions that affect us in the UK and will be real people, if you want to join in but feel that people will know your sins or you'll feel shamed, then I suggest you re-register and join in inshaaAllaah.


Here is the first topic:

Is the real reason for watching TV, movies etc. because you love looking at naked women? (Yusuf Estes said on a video thats the reason)

On the topic of TV, i wouldnt be of any help as we dont have TV and dont watch it going back to parents time and grand parents time. Alhamdulillah....we dont miss it at all.
I think that TV is haraam and this is how iv been brought up.

Why are brothers watching Porn secretly when they're already married? (a report showed that in Saudi, most internet hits were to Porn sites/ on some forums sisters have complained that they caught their hubbies watching it!)

:torture: these brothers need to be educated about Islam and this filth that they watch. These 2 things just dont go together.....im absolutely gobsmacked.....shocked.... 2 those sisters that have caught their hubby's doing this, what did the hubbies have to say for themselves??? im curious to know the reasoning behind this???:shock:

Is it really hard to lower your gaze in UK?

yes i believe that the environment that we live in has made it quite difficult to do this. i just try and avoid any place that will make it difficult to lower my gave. Even when u lower ur gaze u still seeing all these women's legs....eish...:mad: May Allah save us from the fitnah of the arrows of Shaytaan...ameen

If your wife is Fit/Sexy does that help you lower your gaze or no matter how good she is, you'd look anyway?

If this is the case, then id say that this group of guys that conform to this idealogy are just lusting after women!!! this is not the behaviour of any good man....i dont know abt other guys but i feel that our muslim women are the treasures....if you have a good wife y look at ppl that are sinfull,immoral and immodest???:confused:

A brother said the first wife is married for love and the second is for the nafs, what do you think?

when do you marry for deen and taqwa, then all the other things automaticly fall in place....:up: the bro is wrong about that....




:coolbro: :coolbro: :coolbro:

[Supernova Nebula]

there are good programs on the TV like those documentaries on Discovery channel, nat Geo, animal planets, travel and living, news etc and also decent and good entertainment like those drama seriies like House and Prison break, no naked people:o

[junaidb]

there are good programs on the TV like those documentaries on Discovery channel, nat Geo, animal planets, travel and living, news etc and also decent and good entertainment like those drama seriies like House and Prison break, no naked people:o

agreed....but just as wine has some good in it the bad outways the good.....same with tv.
u wont die if u live without it...

Wassalaam
:coolbro: :coolbro: :coolbro:

[RashidD]

I don't watch tv either. I'd advise others to do the same InshaALLAH.

[Eemaan]

i think because television has been so deeply ingrained in the our daily existence since childhood, folk have become acclimatised to seeing women displaying awrah.

now if i left the home in a sleeveless top and without my hijaab i would face widespread criticism from my peers

but because how how relative and acceptable things on telvision on are a woman displayin her hair, the majority of her legs, half her torso are nothing. its acceptable, weve seen it that many times its acceptable and 'so what'.

Its not correct at all but its whats becomes the norm. so because the males in the family may see it and be unfazed by it doesnt make them closet perverts, its wrong yes but the damage needs to be undone.

if its something you suspect rather than have first hand evidence of it is to mention how disgusting and depraved you find the behaviour of couples on tv, how their actions are ones that are cursed by the angels.

and the solution is to scrap television in your home yes but quite a rareity i find. oh and teach kids to lower the gaze early on....