a_nounu
11-06-07, 04:12 PM
We live in a world where the average muslim youth has more pressure on him then an elephant standing on a pin. (that’s a lot of pressure, as pressure is equal to force divided by area. The area of contact on a pin is miniscule while the force exhibited by an elephant is of the caliber of tons).
Not being one to moan but is it necessary? A Muslim youth living in this country has to succeed in everything. If your grades are not the highest in your class, then you’re a failure. If you don’t get into a university with top class credentials on a course that is well recognized then you have failed in your life and will not be accepted for marriage by anyone.
Marriage! There’s a touchy subject. Your parents always go on about how evil the media is and how vulnerable the youth are, the best remedy is to get married, but of course, you can’t do that unless you have a full time job that’s secure for life, with a house and car, and enough Mahr to buy 50% of the shares in Microsoft. Its almost like a football transfer:
Transfer Fee = Mahr
House and car = Yes
Medical = yes
Contract length = Life
Then you have to accept the fact that no one is going to be compatible for you in your parents’ eyes. If you’re brave enough to mention someone, there’s a reflex reaction that goes on in your mums head….No! They’re too young/old, they’re not the same culture, they don’t speak this language, theyre studying a silly course, they’re wearing colours that don’t match! Its like your mums got a tick list in her head.
Then, when your mum does suggest someone, be sure they’re going to be the last person you think of. It’ll be that person who you’ve heard great things about, but doesn’t actually have a personality. They’ve probably got seventeen A-levels and are studying 3 degrees simultaneously! When was the last time they left the house? Probably the last time they had an exam.
Then finally when you reach a compromise in the middle (usually meaning that if you don’t accept the person your parents have suggested you will be thrown out of the house) there is the wedding. Our genius of a culture has decided that we must have two celebrations, one for the nikah and one for the proper wedding. This means if you manage to complete everything within a year your working fast.
But then is marriage all its cracked up to be? Once you get married there are a thousand and one new things that you have to adopt. You become your wife’s tag along forced to go on a grown man play date. You’ll have to endure and praise sub standard cooking for the first couple of years, Also, you know how when guys were little they played with things like lego, and attempted fixing their broken toys. As guys grow older these “skills” get transformed into real life. You have engineers emerging, builders etc. Well, girls played with stuff when they were little too. They dressed up dolls. That gets transformed into dressing up husbands. Remember that guy you saw who was wearing a pink shirt and you had a nice little chuckle about. He was probably married.
But it does work both ways. Wives will have to endure rants and raves (much like this) about completely random things. They will begin to see that cars are more then just vehicles, but they have feelings as well. Also if you don’t know anything about football, then you’ll soon be educated into the offside rule and a thousand and one goals I’ve scored when I was younger. If you think Im leaning towards the brothers side that’s probably because I’m Male
But really and truly marriage is probably a beautiful thing (I wouldn’t know).
Not being one to moan but is it necessary? A Muslim youth living in this country has to succeed in everything. If your grades are not the highest in your class, then you’re a failure. If you don’t get into a university with top class credentials on a course that is well recognized then you have failed in your life and will not be accepted for marriage by anyone.
Marriage! There’s a touchy subject. Your parents always go on about how evil the media is and how vulnerable the youth are, the best remedy is to get married, but of course, you can’t do that unless you have a full time job that’s secure for life, with a house and car, and enough Mahr to buy 50% of the shares in Microsoft. Its almost like a football transfer:
Transfer Fee = Mahr
House and car = Yes
Medical = yes
Contract length = Life
Then you have to accept the fact that no one is going to be compatible for you in your parents’ eyes. If you’re brave enough to mention someone, there’s a reflex reaction that goes on in your mums head….No! They’re too young/old, they’re not the same culture, they don’t speak this language, theyre studying a silly course, they’re wearing colours that don’t match! Its like your mums got a tick list in her head.
Then, when your mum does suggest someone, be sure they’re going to be the last person you think of. It’ll be that person who you’ve heard great things about, but doesn’t actually have a personality. They’ve probably got seventeen A-levels and are studying 3 degrees simultaneously! When was the last time they left the house? Probably the last time they had an exam.
Then finally when you reach a compromise in the middle (usually meaning that if you don’t accept the person your parents have suggested you will be thrown out of the house) there is the wedding. Our genius of a culture has decided that we must have two celebrations, one for the nikah and one for the proper wedding. This means if you manage to complete everything within a year your working fast.
But then is marriage all its cracked up to be? Once you get married there are a thousand and one new things that you have to adopt. You become your wife’s tag along forced to go on a grown man play date. You’ll have to endure and praise sub standard cooking for the first couple of years, Also, you know how when guys were little they played with things like lego, and attempted fixing their broken toys. As guys grow older these “skills” get transformed into real life. You have engineers emerging, builders etc. Well, girls played with stuff when they were little too. They dressed up dolls. That gets transformed into dressing up husbands. Remember that guy you saw who was wearing a pink shirt and you had a nice little chuckle about. He was probably married.
But it does work both ways. Wives will have to endure rants and raves (much like this) about completely random things. They will begin to see that cars are more then just vehicles, but they have feelings as well. Also if you don’t know anything about football, then you’ll soon be educated into the offside rule and a thousand and one goals I’ve scored when I was younger. If you think Im leaning towards the brothers side that’s probably because I’m Male
But really and truly marriage is probably a beautiful thing (I wouldn’t know).