How do you know he/she is the one.........? please help

[munyeka]

Asslamulaykum,

Any comments/opinions/experinces/ advice is welcome?

I have been introduced to someone as a perpestive marriage partner. We get on very well alhumdolliah and he is the man that I have prayed to Allah to bless me with.

But, just to make sure im not going totally crazy, how have other people known that thier wifes/husbands have be THE ONE?

what criteria to u base that decision on?? Do butterflies in my belly ( there are about 50 million of them, and this sense of ease, and the grin of my face, count)

please help, Ma'sallama, ukhti fil islam.:inlove:

[MMS]

istikhara first and then erm bank acount :outta:
if both are good then hes the one :D

[Abu Mu'adh]

You know that person is the one when you seek divine guidance i.e. after praying Istikhara!

[ibnKathir27]

You know that person is the one when you seek divine guidance i.e. after praying Istikhara!


Istikhara is not Istishara. You are not doing mushara with Allah swt.

Istikhara is done to ask for good and blessing in something you about to do whether you're inclined to it or not. Istikara is essentially a dua and which one of us knows for certain which of our dua is answered?

Make you decision based on practical considerations then pray your istikhara in the hope that Allah swt will put blessing in what you ahve decided to do and if it is bad for you Allah swt will turn it away from you and you away from it.

[ur_yusra]

I don't think there is such a thing as 'the one'.

[Ebony]

Its probably the onset of indigestion.

[Abu Mu'adh]

Istikhara is not Istishara. You are not doing mushara with Allah swt.

Istikhara is done to ask for good and blessing in something you about to do whether you're inclined to it or not. Istikara is essentially a dua and which one of us knows for certain which of our dua is answered?

Make you decision based on practical considerations then pray your istikhara in the hope that Allah swt will put blessing in what you ahve decided to do and if it is bad for you Allah swt will turn it away from you and you away from it.

Na'am what i meant akhi was after praying istikhara one chooses the path of khair and inshallah things are made easy for you in whatever aspect you are praying istikhara for, wether it be marriage or a new job, you choose the path of khair, if however obstacles arise and things are made difficult in that aspect which you are pursuing then you think twice because it may well be that Allah is trying to turn you away from it.

[MG]

as sis ur yusra, sed, their is no such thing as "the one".

Please dont say "butterflies in your stomach" might be a sign, some people get butterflies in their stomach when a bit of wind blows :rolleyes:

istkhara will tell u inshallah wether u should marry this person or not, jus rely on Allah swt, get some references about her and boom inshallah allah swt will guide u to the correct decision.

[Joha]

istikhara first and then erm bank acount :outta:
if both are good then hes the one :D

Its probably the onset of indigestion.

:eek: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Gut feelings all the way... (and istikharah!)

[nami]

1. Perform Istikhara
2. Make sure you see how the person behaves on a normal day around people
3. Perform Istikhara
4. Make sure you enquire about the person as much as possible, preferably not from his or her close relatives. Only ask the close relatives so you can compare what the close relatives say compared to what his/her friends and distant relatives say
5. Perform Istikhara
6. If everything seems right go for it
7. Perform Istikhara
8. Make sure this person practices islam
9. Perform Istikhara
10. Beauty/good looks can blind a person, try to look beyond external looks!
11. Perform Istikhara

Things which are a waste of time (in my opinion)
1. Getting to know the person (you will not know a person truly until you are married to him or her, so it does not matter how much time you spend getting to know this person), if its 1 day or 1 year, it will make no difference.

The end

p.s. Perform Istikhara

[Kal-El]

Marriage is over-rated

[Joha]

Marriage is over-rated


overrated? against what?

[PiElle]

There is always a certain kind of feeling (ie. attraction) when meeting someone (ie. butterflies in the stomach).... being married is a different feeling...:o

[Lambo5688]

Sparks will fly. Trust me.

[meer]

1. Perform Istikhara
2. Make sure you see how the person behaves on a normal day around people
3. Perform Istikhara
4. Make sure you enquire about the person as much as possible, preferably not from his or her close relatives. Only ask the close relatives so you can compare what the close relatives say compared to what his/her friends and distant relatives say
5. Perform Istikhara
6. If everything seems right go for it
7. Perform Istikhara
8. Make sure this person practices islam
9. Perform Istikhara
10. Beauty/good looks can blind a person, try to look beyond external looks!
11. Perform Istikhara

Things which are a waste of time (in my opinion)
1. Getting to know the person (you will not know a person truly until you are married to him or her, so it does not matter how much time you spend getting to know this person), if its 1 day or 1 year, it will make no difference.

The end

p.s. Perform Istikhara


Mashallah good advice bro nami :up:

think Performing Istikhara is the correct way to take any important decision for our life. :up: "allah known better then us & if we really need help we shold turn to him. that's the onlyway a person get in safe side.

[sunshine77]

Istikharah FIRST. Its a dua whereby you are asking Allah to bring good to you and take evil/bad away from you. I beleive whatever happens is always for a reason, Allah is the best of planners :)

I dont think marriage is over-rated. I have been happily married to my lovely husband for five years now, Alhamdulillah.

Marriage requires give AND take from both sides, but if both are mature and understanding then little disagreements can easily be sorted out. There are many small things in a marriage which can make you think you have made the wrong choice!! So it's very important to remember that those little things you dislike about your spouse in those early months/years...could also be things your spouse dislikes about YOU. Remember, shaitaan loves broken marriages and tries his hardest to put doubts in your mind.

In my opinion, if there is no abuse or ill-treatment on either side, or any of the major factors which allow divorce (there are quite a few, a few examples are one of the spouses leaving Islam or having an affair) then a marriage can always be worked out.

Speaking of feelings, I just KNEW he was the one. I dont know how, call it the butterflies, the wonderful feeling in my heart, the fact that everything leading upto our wedding was such a breeze, everything going positively well, no obstacles in our way...I don't know but I just felt something different about my husband :)

[Taliban1]

Asslamulaykum,

Any comments/opinions/experinces/ advice is welcome?

I have been introduced to someone as a perpestive marriage partner. We get on very well alhumdolliah and he is the man that I have prayed to Allah to bless me with.

But, just to make sure im not going totally crazy, how have other people known that thier wifes/husbands have be THE ONE?

what criteria to u base that decision on?? Do butterflies in my belly ( there are about 50 million of them, and this sense of ease, and the grin of my face, count)

please help, Ma'sallama, ukhti fil islam.:inlove:

firstly, its not allowed to get on with non mehrams ok.. secondly do istikhara n istishara, and thank Allah that uve found one.. just be content with this one.. its real hard to find good husbands these days... the only ones u can rely on are married bro's who have been tried n tested:)

[PiElle]

firstly, its not allowed to get on with non mehrams ok.. secondly do istikhara n istishara, and thank Allah that uve found one.. just be content with this one.. its real hard to find good husbands these days... the only ones u can rely on are married bro's who have been tried n tested:)


LOL

[seven]

I don't think there is such a thing as 'the one'.
especially if you're a bloke... then it will be 'the four' :D

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams


its real hard to find good husbands these days... the only ones u can rely on are married bro's who have been tried n tested:)


Don't tell me your advertising? :nerdbro:

:wswrwb:

[Zaid the Great]

firstly, its not allowed to get on with non mehrams ok.. secondly do istikhara n istishara, and thank Allah that uve found one.. just be content with this one.. its real hard to find good husbands these days... the only ones u can rely on are married bro's who have been tried n tested:)

LOOL :rotfl:

You tryna say something??

[Eemaan]

:start:

:salams

Don't tell me your advertising? :nerdbro:

:wswrwb:


only in about every thread he starts. :rubeyes:

theres desperate and theres theres Taliban1 :smack:

:D

[ur_yusra]

especially if you're a bloke... then it will be 'the four' :D

Most 'blokes' you will find.. just stick with one.. well thats until they get bored after a couple of kids and marry another woman abroad who would really like a visa.. he then finds himself in a pickle seeing as he would like to spend more time with his first wife and children.. so he does just that.. the second wife who is now in UK feels neglected and doesnt end up getting the visa and is shipped back home.

Another case - Man rents out one of the rooms of his home to a non muslim woman. He stays there with his first wife and children and somehow ends up falling 'in love' with this other woman who he marries and so she converts.. he then moves his first wife and children to another town (who are not happy with the situation but have no choice). He spends his time patchily with both.

The man across the road who is already married to a niqaabi woman feels this is not enough for him and so he marries another woman. The other woman sees his first wife and they both start having a cat fight and the niqaabi is terribly upset as she has just discovered her husband married again.. the husband is extremely puzzled by his first wifes behaviour and so takes a shoe and starts beating her in front of everyone and drags her into the house. He then comes out of the house gets into the car with his second wife and drives off. This man was a respected member of the community sporting quite a long beard.

Thats all for now :D

[seven]

what a bright ray of sunshine you are! :D

[MG]

Most 'blokes' you will find.. just stick with one.. well thats until they get bored after a couple of kids and marry another woman abroad who would really like a visa.. he then finds himself in a pickle seeing as he would like to spend more time with his first wife and children.. so he does just that.. the second wife who is now in UK feels neglected and doesnt end up getting the visa and is shipped back home.

Another case - Man rents out one of the rooms of his home to a non muslim woman. He stays there with his first wife and children and somehow ends up falling 'in love' with this other woman who he marries and so she converts.. he then moves his first wife and children to another town (who are not happy with the situation but have no choice). He spends his time patchily with both.

The man across the road who is already married to a niqaabi woman feels this is not enough for him and so he marries another woman. The other woman sees his first wife and they both start having a cat fight and the niqaabi is terribly upset as she has just discovered her husband married again.. the husband is extremely puzzled by his first wifes behaviour and so takes a shoe and starts beating her in front of everyone and drags her into the house. He then comes out of the house gets into the car with his second wife and drives off. This man was a respected member of the community sporting quite a long beard.

Thats all for now :D


:1popcorn::1popcorn:


this story comes to mind as well

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127153


:D


what u will find with all the above men is, that when they are in old age, these women and children they treat like dirt now, are knowhere to be seen, and these men suffer in pain all by themselves.

Wht goes around defo comes around i assure u , unfortunately these days muslims do not think of the future consequences of their actions.

[ur_yusra]

:1popcorn::1popcorn:


this story comes to mind as well

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127153


:D


what u will find with all the above men is, that when they are in old age, these women and children they treat like dirt now, are knowhere to be seen, and these men suffer in pain all by themselves.

Wht goes around defo comes around i assure u , unfortunately these days muslims do not think of the future consequences of their actions.

Yeah unfortunately they are all true stories which I have witnessed first hand..

Its sad some men think women can be treated like dirt.. and in effect they can treat them like dirt and they can get away with it.. well in this dunya at least..

[ur_yusra]

what a bright ray of sunshine you are! :D

Thanks :o

[MG]

Yeah unfortunately they are all true stories which I have witnessed first hand..

Its sad some men think women can be treated like dirt.. and in effect they can treat them like dirt and they can get away with it.. well in this dunya at least..

wait till they hit the 50's and 60's ,reality starts setting in :rolleyes:

[mara]

Its probably the onset of indigestion.You are soooo romantic Ebony :p. Will tell your heart if he is the one:oin addition of what have write already

[*hayat*]

... the only ones u can rely on are married bro's who have been tried n tested:)


what does that exactly mean bro?:confused:

[Zaid the Great]

what does that exactly mean bro?:confused:

he's desperate for a second wife !!! :smack: :rotfl:

[munyeka]

Sallams all and thanks for youe responses.

Istikhara is undoubtedly a thing to do...Inshallah

I was just talking abt the other feelings...and what sunshine says is very very true, ive just began to realise that this is the person id like to be with..Inshallah. NOT based on his looks, bank balance, job or car.

but based on his belief in Allah, his character, his qualities, his personalities, and the way that we have CLICKED.

I know most people here would say one should to get to know a perpective partner, but todays society is full of wierdos, complete and utter wierdos, and id just like the assurance that im not marrying one.

and allah knows my intentions are sincere.

Anyway Allah hu Alam, :jkk: for your responses, and keep em coming

Masallama, ukhti fil Islam.

[Supernova Nebula]

Sallams all and thanks for youe responses.

Istikhara is undoubtedly a thing to do...Inshallah

I was just talking abt the other feelings...and what sunshine says is very very true, ive just began to realise that this is the person id like to be with..Inshallah. NOT based on his looks, bank balance, job or car.

but based on his belief in Allah, his character, his qualities, his personalities, and the way that we have CLICKED.

I know most people here would say one should to get to know a perpective partner, but todays society is full of wierdos, complete and utter wierdos, and id just like the assurance that im not marrying one.

and allah knows my intentions are sincere.

Anyway Allah hu Alam, :jkk: for your responses, and keep em coming

Masallama, ukhti fil Islam.

MashaAllah, it's so lovely to hear this. You have made istikhara and got all the signs, follow your heart and ignore the whispers from syaitan and it happens in case like this that you have to be careful with people who try to put you off from pursuing this noble deed - marriage. Best I could say, follow your heart and ignore things that make you doubt since it looks very positive and seems you have known the person well and maybe have consulted those who know him well and that is more important. Go for it sweetheart, marry him!:D

[*hayat*]

he's desperate for a second wife !!! :smack: :rotfl:

oh :hidban: :banbear: :blobblue:

thumbs up...

[*hayat*]

:start:

:salams





Don't tell me your advertising? :nerdbro:

:wswrwb:

erm..it seems like more than advertising...