marriage help

[d57yuh]

salams

i have a question....i have been married for sometime (about a year).....the person is a very good person :aku_mashallah: but the thing is ... something isnt right... i dont know what is....i feel like im not ready for marriage...i dont know if this is the shaytan talking to me or what ... i know when you get married life changes and you dont see your family as much (being occupied with your spouse), but i feel that im not ready for this change in life style.... i prayed istakara and im confussed ... i had 2 results .... 1 was i kept hearing divorce, i would go online and as soon as i opend the webpage for the 1st time i saw a thing about divorce......then i was watching an islamic lecture, within the first few seconds the person was talking about divorce , im like is this a sign? but then the other outcome is i hear people talking about how people should get married, have a family etc.... i would talk to someone and they would tell me its great to stay married ....im just confussed ... please help

[carol_au]

salams

i have a question....i have been married for sometime (about a year).....the person is a very good person :aku_mashallah: but the thing is ... something isnt right... i dont know what is....i feel like im not ready for marriage...i dont know if this is the shaytan talking to me or what ... i know when you get married life changes and you dont see your family as much (being occupied with your spouse), but i feel that im not ready for this change in life style.... i prayed istakara and im confussed ... i had 2 results .... 1 was i kept hearing divorce, i would go online and as soon as i opend the webpage for the 1st time i saw a thing about divorce......then i was watching an islamic lecture, within the first few seconds the person was talking about divorce , im like is this a sign? but then the other outcome is i hear people talking about how people should get married, have a family etc.... i would talk to someone and they would tell me its great to stay married ....im just confussed ... please help

You say you are married to a lovely person.. so why not talk to him/her ( I am assuming her) about your problem.. if spending time with your family is the only issue, then talk to your spouse about how to increase the time with them.

You haven't mentioned what life style changes you are meaning.. but again .. talk about it together. Your spouse is probably already aware of your problems anyway.. so he/she will probably appreciate knowing what is going on inside.

Personally, my feeling is you married for whatever reason.. and as divorce is something that should be thought of last and not first.. insha allah seek other ways (including counselling) to keep this marriage together. For me, there is nothing there to make divorce something to be considering at this time insha allah

[PiElle]

yup... the message is... "do not venture into the divorce"....

so many sisters would like to be in your position. yet you spend your time thinking of divorce instead of enjoying it....

it is true that the first 2-3 years is the most testing for a marriage, i suggest you practice sabr.


:)

[angel*]

You mentioned that ur spouse allhumdulillah is gr8, then why think of divorce? You've only been married for a short while, the are many changes after marraige, u just need more time to get used to the adjustments inshallah this is just a phase thingz shuld b alrtie just give it sum time and have sabr.

[junaidb]

are you married yet or planning on making nikah????

Wassalaam

:coolbro: :coolbro: :coolbro:

[muslim_sis]

after a year !? MashAllah thats a bit of time to realise your not ready for marriage ! And MashAllah u said ur spouse is lovely, it must be the shaytan, unless there is another reason in which ur husband is treating you unjustly !?but u said he is lovely and so sounds like hes giving u ur rights etc. If u feel u need your family more, speak to ur spouse about it and all get involved together, rather than u perhaps feelin ur leadin a seperate life from ur family now ... allahu alam, Remember shaytaan will always try to get us with little things to try bring us down... Are u not feelin happy ? InshAllah Allah will help you, ameen !

[Asmara]

You can't get a divorce for absolutely no reason. The shaytan is just trying to ruin a good marriage, as usual. Preoccupy yourself with ibbadah and visit your family every weekend and talk to them on te phone everyday.